The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.
Have been reading but not posting recently-very busy with work and family, and my dog has got an injury which is likely to need an op, which is taking up way more brain space than it should!

Currently away with a group of heavy drinking friends. These days it’s no problem from my perspective, but I really hate watching them do this to themselves, and worse, modelling it to the kids.

I know I was the same until a few years ago, but once you’ve been through the fire of an alcohol problem and come out the other side you see everything differently.

You also gain so much knowledge about what alcohol does to you - for me, it was one of the ways that helped me escape from it - but I know no one would thank me for pointing this out!
So I go to bed early, enjoy my early morning coffee and plan a run - it’s snowing here, so I might find a shorter one than planned! But in my head I’m screaming, so thought writing it down here was better!

Hope you’re all doing ok.

Morning all. Went to the cinema last night and then food afterwards with some friends. I just drank water, them wine. I loved it. Think it’s the relief of knowing that everything I did was
sober me. I have realised that I am always checking in my head if my behaviour is due to the alcohol I have consumed or whether it’s the real me (until I’m too pissed to care. Even after one glass - I’m always unsure. When I got back from night out I did an online food order which I never do because I like to shop at Lidl but I couldn’t work out how to fit the Lidl shop in because I’m going for a long walk today hence the online shop. Whilst doing it I noticed that I was thinking ‘am I doing this because I’m a bit pissed and will question my decision in the morning…’. and then I remembered that I was totally sober and the relief it gave me was immense.

This has made me reflect on whether this is a huge link to my lack of sense of self that I feel. This blows my mind.

Anyway, that’s my morning pondering, enjoy your days

Morning.
I've reached two months today, but I've just arrived in London for the week.
This is where I can drink in moderation and be fine, but of course I don't want to and I'm not going to.
It does feel a bit like week 1 again though in terms of resisting temptation.

@Adsy1988 was it yourself that said you didn’t want to tell anyone you were doing this just yet? Have you managed to keep it under wraps? I begged my DH not to tell anyone, especially his parents and he did. I’m so livid because it’s exactly what I thought it would be- lots of questions about my motivation and anecdotes about when they’ve tried being on the wagon and it’s all a jolly about what a novelty it is; talking about AF drinks choices. Argh!! It’s not a jolly, it’s really serious and I REALLY don’t want to talk about it! That’s why a group like this in invaluable. It’s my journey and unless you’ve experienced something similar, I’m not ready to have a casual chat about it. i mean, my MIL couldn’t have an adult conversation about my DC (7) having to take antispasmodics and stool softener because of a nasty stomach virus 🤯. She can’t see beyond the end of her own nose.

anyway, how’s the house hunting @WendyWagon? I think we’re ready to make an offer on Monday so that’s exciting!
We’re factoring in saved booze Monday into mortgage affordability. I hope that’s not premature!!

@Womanshour 6 weeks done? I’ve got a horrible cold and feel crap but very pleased about my achievement. Somehow it feels like no time at all, but that first month took forever!! I never would have believed 6 weeks was possible at the start of the year. Thanks all!

Morning all. Ahoy to Sid.

I watched Bridget yesterday. I have to say even I as an untidy person I would have had to tidy the kitchen in scene one!
Chippy tea for us yesterday. Too poorly to cook.
I'm being asked for confirmation on the new work project. No idea yet, it all depends on my recovery. Nice to be wanted. April if I can.

The bungalow @SmellyMe was a dump so I am still championing the quirky house.
The husband is not keen so I'm waiting for after my op. Good luck with your offer.

Morning all
Day 75 today and weekend away almost over. Meals out Friday Sat and Sunday dinner shortly .... the thought of being here where alcohol is flowing 24/7 was much worse than the reality tbh
Dd is being a challenge and not sure I'd have been the patient understanding mum I have managed to be (only just crikey she's pushed me) if I'd been drinking.
Any ways, we too went to see Bridget .... I do love the whole Bridget series and almost feel like I've aged along with her. I think many of us can relate to a little bit of Bridget somewhere !
I loved it. I actually cried but also laughed a lot.
Didn't realise it was a 15 and dd 14 was with us but wow some of the language and stuff was close to the mark. I think she was cringing a bit (enormously) next to her parents who were both doubled up laughing 😆

@mumzof4x i cried to Bridget too.

Just popping in to say hello. In Spain with Family for half term. The sun is shining and it's 20⁰.

Heaven. And I am not afraid of driving! First holiday where I have been truly confident that I can drive in Europe.

I think I am more confident in general though, and loving it.
Love to all.
IWNDWYT

Have a great time, @EastCoastDamsel. I'm not jealous at all. Oh no. 😀

Evening everyone, haven’t been around much, really busy. Going to read back on a few pages to catch up. Take care all. X

Hi @Middlemarch123. Good to see you.

Can anyone help, please? I am going to go back to my hypnosis in bed routine, as I am struggling just now. I am looking for a particular track that I loved, but I can't find it. It was a male voice (probably Craig Beck or Glenn Harrold, but not necessarily) and the script is that you get in a boat and go to a place of your choice where you are safe. I think there are people there to help you.

I can't remember if it is for alcohol, sleeping or healing, which is making it impossible to find. I've tried loads of them on Audible and returned them when I find out they are the wrong ones, and they won't let me return any more. It may not have been an Audible book (I suspect not, as I have tried so many), but I have searched my laptop and it doesn't seem to be there either.

Does it ring any bells for anyone? I'd be delighted if so. I do have other tracks on apps and saved on my phone, but this one was particularly effective and I'd like to find it.

Sorry to hear you are struggling @ShyMaryEllen I'm afraid I can't help you with the hypnosis track but will certainly give it a try if the Mumsnet Collective can track it down. I used hypnosis tracks a lot in the first month of giving up alcohol and found them very helpful.

Well done on your boozy (not you!) weekend @mumzof4x That's a great achievement. And @EastCoastDamsel Not at all jealous of your 20 degrees sunshine ☀️🤣. Hope you have a fab holiday!!!

Can I join? Feeling a bit fed up with myself - did dry January after another Christmas of drinking more than I wanted to and feeling anxious (the main reason I want to quit) and felt great so kept going until…today. Was meeting up with friends, had stressful morning with dc and I just thought ‘why not?’ Mainly because I didn’t want to feel I didn’t fit in. Not that friends would have even noticed. Feel ok physically but I know the anxiety is going to hit me tomorrow and I had to reset my ‘days since’ app which as I had got to 46 was sad. Nearly made 50. Going to try again.

@ScoutBennett I am new here - just hit 4 weeks today! Just think about what you have achieved - you haven’t had any alcohol for 46 days! That’s pretty incredible really ….

i managed well on Friday and tried a pretty nice zero alcohol beer from a local to us brewery. I have never been a beer drinker but I did enjoy it.

feel really grumpy today - for some reason sundays are hard. Even though I hit 4 weeks, I don’t feel especially happy or upbeat - I am really happy though with how quickly the days are going and still no real desire to drink (the very odd craving from time to time).

@EastCoastDamsel i am very jealous - minus 20 here today and trapped indoors by freezing rain ….

@ScoutBennett
Everyone is welcome here.
I don't post often, just pop in but I caught your post and wanted to say Hi.
We're all in the same boat.

@TequilaAndPickles @Seenoevil33 thank you! Yes 46 is the longest I’ve ever managed bar pregnancy. I just felt so much better last week, began to feel those elusive pink clouds people talk about. Ok try again…

12 days was the longest I'd managed in 17 years until now, currently 63 days, so you really are in good company.
Someone better than me with advice to share will be along soon, I just waffle!

@TequilaAndPickles 63 days is brilliant - how have you found it? Have you got to the stage where you don’t think about it?

It’s in my thoughts a lot and I still feel the need to really focus on reasons not to drink and the experiences of others - trying to instill a new mindset around it to change from a reward to something really bad for me. That’s the bit I’m finding harder …

Morning my wonderful AF shipmates
I will not drink today
I'm worth it
Love and kind thoughts to all

Morning all,

Welcome @ScoutBennett .

Unfortunately, I still have to work while here 😭 but it helps having DMIL around to entertain the kids and the sunshine is fabulous.

@Seenoevil33 Sundays are my most difficult days too. Not sure why but I did have a tradition of cracking open a bottle while cooking lunch from about noon onwards and falling asleep on the sofa at 3pm. It was a day after "switching off" and now, in sobriety, I have to work really hard to let myself relax and let "jobs" go.

I think the wine gave me permission not to feel guilty about all the outstanding housework/DIY/general chores.

I have found binging on podcasts about the physical and mental effects of alcohol (Sober Powered in particular) has really helped me switch my mindset from "treat" to "toxin".

@ShyMaryEllen I can't help I am afraid but I do occasionally listen to sleep casts on headspace to help me sleep.

Morning everyone. Seeing an old friend for lunch today - am hoping I can get through without booze after my failure yesterday! I just know I’ll feel so much better. Happy Monday everyone!

Good morning shipmates. Welcome @ScoutBennett - I am very glad you have found us

I am sorry that you're not feeling great @ShyMaryEllen - I can't help with the hypnotherapy track, alas. Sid is very grateful for your record suggestion - right up his alley, hehe. Hang in there - you're a wonderful person.

Strength and courage. It will be alright soon. x

Thanks everyone. It's so annoying, as I never throw anything out, so I don't know where it's gone. I have ancient receipts safely stored on a million devices that are interconnected, emails with special offers that expired in 1998, but not a track I played regularly years ago.

It has occurred to me that it might be on an iPod. I did get a bluetooth dongle for it to connect it to my sleepband, so maybe it's on there. I will have to search the house for an iPod that could be anywhere (😫), find a way to charge the thing, then (assuming it is on there) try to find a way of transferring a track to a much more modern phone, probably having to use 139 different usb adapters to get it from one to another. What fun!

Alternatively, if I find it I'll know what it is so maybe I could buy it again, which is probably a more sensible option.

Oh, and sadly for Sid, the record was on a page devoted to cr*p found in charity shops, so it is probably not widely available. Inexplicable, but there we are.

Morning everyone, have been awol for a while and I don't suppose it will surprise anyone on here to know I fell off the AF perch. I really can't put my finger on it but the narrative in my was all about 'being normal' 'relaxing' and there's definitely an element of social anxiety there too.
Woke up this morning feeling dreadful - even though I didn't actually drink yesterday evening...but I feel exhausted and bloated, my face is pale and blotchy and I just feel generally low and demotivated.

So here I am again, back at day one. Last time I said I wasn't going to post much - this time I think I'm going to check in with you all more frequently, to have some sort of accountability and encouragement. I'm sure it's the same as anything in that it's always easier with a team behind you 🙂

I'm going to spend the rest of the morning catching up on the thread - thanks for being here all of you and especially @REP22 for keeping house ☺️

@ShyMaryEllen - ah a charity shop treasure! Me and some friends used to have 'charity shop' parties aka "bad taste parties", where we'd each buy the most horrific creations in charity shops we could find to wear, with a prize for the grimmest. A brown flared line-dancing creation with tassles was my finest hour. Apparently that album is available on Amazon. One of the songs on it is called "The Woodpeckers Hole". I fear it may lead young Sid astray. He can stick with his Steps CD for now.😉

Welcome back @MagsMagnolia - I'm glad you've found your way here again. I guarantee that we are behind you, 100%. It won't always be this sh~t. You're fighting back and that's what counts. 💐x