The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

Hi everyone. Well I’m back. Completely fell off the wagon, lied to myself that I could moderate and I can’t. Im taking responsibility and I’m going to quit. I don’t drink a lot but over the festive period it’s literally taken its toll. It makes me feel so poorly and it really makes my anxiety peak. Here’s to day one. Hope you’ve all had a lovely Christmas and happy new year xxx

Welcome back @TiA303091

We’ve all been there. Time to saddle up and get back on the horse 💐❤️

Evening lovelies.
Really busy day, having the bathroom gutted and completely renovated, the crew start tomorrow. Sounds daft, but I really struggle with having people working in the house. It’s my safe space. Will be working a few hours walking pooches, so hopefully that will break it up a little.
Cravings are annoying too, definitely stress related. Batting them away with a bit of swearing and just poured an ice cold Guinness zero and Vimto, yum. We’re having Thai for dinner, and will have a CBD drink later, they do help me sleep.

I enjoyed The Split, mainly because I love Nicola Walker, saw her at the Theatre once, and she was mesmerising, and so so tiny. Commanded the stage though.
Looking forward to the new drama tonight with him from Happy Valley, currently watching Madam Blanc, daft but fun.

Love to all.
We’ve got this.
One day at a time.

@Makemineasoda thank you 🙏 xxx

@WendyWagon I saw your resolution about not buying any new clothes in 2025 and thought fab, I'll do that too. But today I failed miserably and bought a skirt on Vinted 😩. I have so many clothes that I don't like mostly bought on Vinted and need to give to charity and definitely don't need to buy more. I think I need to delete the app!!! And have a bloody good clear out!

I had a bit of a booze craving today while holed up in front of the fire with the snow outside, watching some telly with my daughter. It all felt so lovely and cozy and happy and ironically I thought that what would make the afternoon even more perfect was a nice glass of wine. Of course the moment passed.

Morning all.
Back to routine today after 2 weeks off. Have had mum’s funeral too, so feeling quite emotionally vulnerable now, and very, very tired. Had pushed through with organising stuff but now that’s all done. At least I recognise what’s going on and can be kind to myself.

Welcome back @TiA303091 - freedom awaits!

Morning, back in cold, wet England but at least had an excellent night's sleep in my own bed.

Welcome back @TiA303091 .

Dreading the scale this morning after 3 weeks.of holiday indulgence 😬.

Morning all @Onewildandpreciouslife sorry you've had to deal with all that organising on top of the loss of your mum. It's so hard to lose a parent isn't it. At least the funeral is behind you now.
I'm not back to work till Friday. We moved into our new house last Friday and I absolutely love it but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at how much decorating we need to do! Have pretty much finished unpack at least.
I think a lot of people will be back to normality today. If that's you then good luck.

@Onewildandpreciouslife ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hello, mind if I join? This is my first ever MN post (so please bear with 😆) I decided to stop drinking from 1st Jan, & so far I've stuck with it - very proud of myself, though I know I've only done 5 full days so far 😂 However, that's 5 days while being off work, on holiday mode, so I've surprised myself that I've not caved! I've not read much of this thread yet, nor any other thread in Alcohol Support, so please pardon me if I'm repeating info here, but something I'm finding really helpful/supportive is the Over the Influence podcast - I'm bingeing it & noting down tips & thoughts & feelings, which is all helping me keep on track. I've started diving into the quitlit too - currently reading Alcohol Explained by William Porter, which I'm also finding useful. Anyway, nice to 'meet' you all

Morning @bloominoreilly and welcome. I'm a recent convert to sobriety, I stopped drinking at the beginning of October. I really recommend reading this thread in full if you have time (and even the ones before it). I gained so much from doing that, began to feel part of a sober community, took on board advice and strategies from those who have remained booze free for a long time. I will be forever grateful to all of the posters on this thread, especially the 'old timers' 😊

Giving up alcohol is the most freeing feeling and the best gift you can give to yourself.

Thank you @CarrotSeeds ☺️ - will definitely do as you suggest. Sounds like you're doing really well - very encouraging ☺️ I'm already experiencing the feeling of being freed up - I think I have a different mindset now to any other time I've thought I ought to go AF, I'm seeing the positives of it more than the negatives - ie I'm not giving something up so much as wanting this change. Think I will need the sort of help and support this thread can give sooner or later and hope to be a source of support too!

Hi @bloominoreilly, I'm on day 50, so am a relative newbie. I found reading this thread really helpful and love seeing updates.

I had thought about going AF for a good while but for some reason it really scared me. My view also changed, as I really need to lose weight and want to get healthier, so I'm looking at alcohol as empty calories as well as something that just doesn't do me any good.

I haven't really looked a quit lit, but might give some a go, I'm more interested in tge health benefits of quitting to be honest.

Horrid day here, still got to get the dog out, managed to fall over in the mud yesterday, so proof that no alcohol necessary for gross stupidity!

Morning all.
I was a bit later today due to being bedbound again yesterday. The DH is having some days in lieu after the Christmas rush. He's gone out but chasing me for doctors appointments 'to sort me out'.
My 'home help' has been and gone. Decs down and packed up, dog walked and kitchen cleaned. Hoorah. It takes her two hours, it would take me a whole day.
I offered her some wine but she said no. It looks like most people are cutting it out.

Welcome to all the newbies. Good luck on your sober journey.

Offered wine as in take the bottles with you not sit and drink it! 😄

I think a lot of people are off the booze these days.

I am having people round in a week or so, and was mentally checking off what I'm likely to need by way of food and drink. At one time, for 6 people I would get in something like 5 white and 5 red wine to be on the safe side, but I think that this time there will only be one person drinking (and that's only if she doesn't bring the car). I'll get one red and one white, and my husband can hoover up what's left. Otherwise, I'll offer tea, coffee and soft drinks (including AF wine).

As well as Dry January, a lot of people just don't drink as much as they did. The people who are coming round are a new group of friends - I've known them about a year, as we belong to a social thing I joined last winter - and at least three (including me) have said that we've cut back or given up alcohol as we were getting concerned about our consumption. I don't know if the others are covering a darker story or not, but that's 50%, and of the other two one always drives and sticks to soft drinks.

I know a lot of people at the start of a sober life are concerned about going out and not drinking, but they won't stand out like they would have done at one time. Sooner or later drinkers will be like smokers - in a minority in most situations.

I hope you get your health sorted out soon, @WendyWagon.

Hi @SissySpacekAteMyHamster! Thanks ☺️ 50 is a nice big no. - brilliant achievement!! I think you're coming at it from a very positive angle - health/fitness is also one of the main reasons I decided to give giving up a go - I couldn't bear the cognitive dissonance any longer, of knowing I was regularly imbibing quantities (often large) of a substance that was making me unfit & unhealthy, & might shorten my life - for what? Fun?! 😆 It makes no sense really, does it. It's scary to stop because it's going against what's been normalised, we have to be different to what we've been like for possibly a long time, & possibly what most people around us are like - it's hard to see if we're going to like our new normal! So it's really good to have a solid reason for changing - something that we can hold as more important than drinking alcohol with certain friends/on certain occasions because we've 'just always done that' up to now. Another reason I want to stop is because I have a teenage son who's very into health and fitness & not showing much interest in drinking, even though we know plenty of teens who are, and I want to show him that it's ok to go against the norm with this, & to be a better role model than I have been up to now x

@SissySpacekAteMyHamster @bloominoreilly
I'm on day 14 but have been stopping and starting over the last (very stressful) year. Totally with you regards to health and reasons for going AF. I've lost both my parents (mentioned this up thread) this year and for both of them it's entirely probable that alcohol and smoking played a significant part in their ill health. I'm terrified of going down that route and whilst I've never smoked (bar the odd puff in my teens) my wine habit had become and almost daily ritual - much like that of my parents.
For some reason, just before Christmas it was as though a big switch clicked and I just didn't want to drink anymore. The thought of a Christmas where o didn't even have to think about alcohol filled me with relief rather than dread and since then I've found myself cleaning up my diet, looking at what I eat and going to gym on a regular basis. I feel so much better not only physically but also mentally.
I really hope I've done my last day one ☝️

Congratulations @BlueLightBetty
14 days is awesome
Amd well done on the diet and gym too
Doing same here
Take a before and after pic ... the change in my face esp eyes from Day one to now Day 35 is so incredible I went to boots and printed off the two pictures to start a journal

@mumzof4x That's a great idea!

Morning all.
Bouncing Wendy here. Feeling a bit better this morning.

I'm on the beauty thread which has proved interesting. I'm an odd fish in my industry as I don't have tweekments. I had my nose done but it was NHS due to breaking it as a teenager.
I've been offered so much free surgery I'd look like a car wrap now if I'd taken them up on it! In the trade a face-lift is known as hospital corners.
One of the first things on giving up the booze is the facial redness goes. It's the blood vessels breathing a sigh of relief. Lots of people think they have rosacea, they don't, it is the effects of alcohol trying to leave the body.

I might be well enough for some shopping today. I'm still getting itchy re no sale spending!

@BlueLightBetty Ive tried to go AF a couple of times now. I gave up for 3 months in 2024 Jan to April as my dad was receiving chemotherapy. He couldn’t drink and obviously was feeling poorly so I wanted to be 💯 all of the time whilst supporting him. It gradually crept up on me again when I started drinking. Then I thought I could moderate, which ended at the weekend in a huge blackout where I have literally no recollection of half of the night. I don’t go out a lot maybe twice a year and it was for a friends birthday. Luckily I have very good friends who looked out for me but it’s a reality check that alcohol is definitely my enemy. Also a reality check the next day that my friends even said maybe I should look at quitting again. They’ve never said that before. I’m now on day 3. I’m still not feeling right from Saturday and wouldn’t usually drink in the week anyway. I know weekends are my trigger point.
Congratulations on your progress and going to the gym. I also don’t want to do day 1 again. It has to be it this time xxx

Which beauty thread is that @WendyWagon ? I spend my time on mumsnet between the alcohol topics and Style and Beauty 🤣. Anyway, glad you have woken up feeling good!

A funny few days coming up for me as I have them totally alone with no responsibilities, husband away on work trip, adult daughter at a friend's for a few days and even foster dog has left. I'm wondering how to spend them. Housework aside. I might have a clothes declutter and take loads of stuff to the charity shops. It's freezing outside today, currently 10.2 degrees in our bedroom ❄️🥶.

@WendyWagon hospital corners!! That made me crease 🤣
Only showed DH how to do a real hospital corner just this week because o bought a new flat sheet rather than a fitted one for our bed.
Anyways morning all
Another milestone for me thh I day
5 weeks
The first time on like 20 years I've done this, but also steles reeling from recent health scare
The change in my face is unreal
The before and after pic is just a game changer. I had no idea how puffy my face had become until it's not
As someone else said..... my Rosacea clearly wasn't rosacea because that's gone too !
Happy days x
Stay warm everyone

Wow sorry didn't spell check that post and cannot fathom how to edit on a mobile! Sorry