The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

Happy new year! A quiet evening yesterday although I stayed up late and am a bit knackered today. I had a really rough 2024 for many reasons and feeling optimistic about 2025. Even if it’s tough it will be much more manageable AF.

Happy New Year one and all.

My 3rd sober NYE was a success. Found this one quite a pleasure (NYE was always massively associated with booze for me - probably the biggest night on my boozy calendar as I'd usually do Dry January after so I'd go all out on NYE)

Older kids (12 and 10) stayed up and we had a party. DP had a few glasses of Baileys and I was on AF Martini. Lasted until about 2am and woke up feeling very virtuous today. Love waking up hangover free and ready to take on the world.

Wishing everyone a peaceful NYD.

Happy New Year! Unexpectedly had the urge to go sober on 22nd Dec and bloody loved my first Christmas without worrying about how much I was going to drink, trying to cook Christmas dinner whilst juggling wine and hangovers. Joining for accountability and community and maybe to help someone else along the way.

@BlueLightBetty welcome.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies

How lovely to hear from you. 5th sober Christmas is phenomenal (I just did my 3rd!)

I remember when I joined this thread in 2022, wishing I could emulate your success (and that of the other posters who were long time sober) and here I am
😄

I'd never have believed I had it in me.

Well today has been challenging and the cravings came out of the blue! Was supposed to be just me, DH and DS for dinner but a couple we know ended up coming too.

I was picking my son up to bring him to ours (he was at a party last night and potentially still over the limit, and he’s staying the night here so doesn’t need to drive later) so DH asked me to get a bottle of wine because of the guests. I was so close to buying a small bottle of vodka - even going as far as wearing a jacket with pockets I could sneak it into the house with.

But I didn’t! I talked to myself and rationalised that feeling a bit awkward/sad/tense for some of today was better than drinking (and let’s face it, people would notice) and feeling anxious and depressed all day tomorrow and possibly Friday too. So I got myself my fave chocolate bar and savoured that in the car instead.

I’m shocked at how strong and unexpected the craving was as I’ve been really looking forward to getting fitter and healthier and being AF but it just goes to show how I can’t get complacent.

Absolutely stuffed now and no desire to drink so crisis averted. Day 14 almost complete!!

Hope everyone is doing well ❤️

@Makemineasoda well done.

@Makemineasoda well done from me too
Having a word with yourself works for me too sometimes . Remind myself that cravings are usually transient (that's the word I usually have)
Oh and the thought of having to do day 1 again !

@WendyWagon @mumzof4x thank you. I’m in the bath with an AF drink. The lads are watching the darts. I’m going to have a long bath then go to bed and read and be very grateful I managed to swerve the booze monster.

Following along, day 64 for me. Well done everyone on getting over Christmas and New Year. Mine actually went fairly well in general, but today I got hit by an overwhelming pang about the year ahead and found myself toying with the idea of having a few at certain events.

I know 100% that moderation won't work, so I felt really guilty for even giving this head space. I brought myself back to reality with a bang over the course of the evening/night, by reminding myself why I quit in the first place.

I have been feeling so positive in general that this has scared me a bit. I am hoping it is just the 'New Year' playing on my mind and I am going to take the advice given here before and go back to taking it day by day. It just goes to show I shouldn't get too cocky!

Morning all
Up to a quiet house.

The waitrose prepared turkey was lovely. Bargain on NYE.

I m not taking my decorations down until Monday. I've never had a faux tree before and my niece put it up. She's coming to de Christmas us. She's good with a screwdriver etc, I'm not.

I loved the Split (for the clothes) and lots of the telly was great.
I've signed up for 'no buy'. I've had cravings already! Weird. I shall conquer this too.

Morning all.
Well done to @sugarytea2024 and @Makemineasoda for swerving the cravings. Cunning little blighters, they are. I always used to get really twitchy around milestones - probably because “forever” seemed so daunting and each milestone (3 months, or whatever) pointed that way. Eventually I learned to spot the triggers and plan for them.

Hi everyone.

Day 1 for me.

Morning all,

Freezing cold here today in the North East of England. I've just dropped my daughter off at the station and it was -3.5 degrees 🥶. I'm clad in thermals and am just about to brave a dog walk.

Did anyone make any New Year's resolutions? Apart from the obvious! I'm trying to improve my diet in small ways and dial back in the sugar which has been a bit mad since I stopped drinking. So Weetabix for breakfast instead of toast dripping with butter and no more Haribo/biscuits/puddings for a while.

Welcome @LittleGlowingOblong 😊

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you. @sugarytea2024 I felt a bit scared too by the pull to drink. Even though I’m only a few weeks in and I’ve done months AF in the past, I think I really thought this time would be different and that I really wouldn’t want to drink - but I guess I was kidding myself/my brain playing tricks with me. Feeling stronger again today so let’s KOKO!

@WendyWagon haven't watched The Split yet but it’s on my list! I am hoping to lose at least 2 stone this year so I am hoping I “can’t” do the no buy thing. Saying that, I’ve got heaps of clothes that will fit me again when (not if!) I lose weight so you never know.

@LittleGlowingOblong welcome! Day 1 is a good place to start!

Day 16 for me today. It’s finally stopped bloody raining and it’s a sunny frosty day where we are. Bloody Old Firm football derby later (Rangers - Celtic) which I absolutely hate and DH and DS will be watching (and most likely on the losing side) and shouting at the TV so I’m planning a really long walk later to avoid it. Will be driving DS back to his flat about 7pm ish then bath and a bit of TV so I feel an AF day will be relatively easy today.

Have a good day everyone ❤️💪

I'm going to continue with Intermittent Fasting, I've gone a little off piste over Christmas, but haven't massively overdone the food side of things, but have grazed a lot more!

IF helps with the not drinking, as no calories,after 7pm means black tea or water, so it is easier for me to swerve the booze.

I was drinking more water, so aim to continue that.

My main resolution is to get to bed earlier and work on my sleep hygiene. I'm a sod for staying up way past that tired feeling.

I had started an overhaul in November when I gave up the booze, so need to get back on track fully and get walking more daily, less time in my phone too!

@CarrotSeeds - same!

I mentioned on another post that I’d started listening to Michael Mosley just one thing podcasts - the weightloss one and the inflammation one were fascinating.

After doing every diet under the sun it’s finally clicked that sustainable healthy changes is the only thing that works long term. So I’m ditching the processed sugar stuff, double cream in my coffee, and of course, alcohol.

Planning on berries, Greek yoghurt and a weetabix (oatmeal one) for breakfast. Omelette and salad for lunch and lean protein (salmon, chicken) with veg for dinner. Only snacking will be low sugar fruit (eg watermelon, berries) and only one coffee a day in the morning with peppermint tea the rest of the time. I need to drink more water too. And I’m going to add more veggie stuff like Dahl and bulgar wheat chilli which I used to make all the time when I lived alone pre marriage and kids (DH doesn’t like stuff like that so I think I just got out the habit).

And start exercising again including lifting weights. Going for slow and steady weight loss of around 1.5 pound a week.

My mantra is now I want to lose weight more than I want to drink alcohol so I’m aiming for better health and mental wellbeing!

@Crunchymum thank you for this. I’ve been AF since last January and have been pretty much steadfast in my determination and decision to no longer drink. However this Xmas period has been a real challenge and a struggle for me and at times I have almost felt that I was white knuckling it. I had even started to think that once my “year” was up that I could just drink on occasion. Reading your post has made me realise that just because day to day is easy for me the long held association with drinking at Xmas may take time ( years even) to rewrite. This thread was so helpful to me and when I first quit - was just a lurker! And I’m so glad I came back to it when I started to wobble.

Good morning shipmates and a VERY happy new year to you from me and Sid.

Thank you for the shout-out @ShyMaryEllen ❤️ I have been having a few days off-grid, so to speak, just to recharge before heading back into work chaos next week.

Lovely to see new friends as well as our fabulous favourites. Sending massive love to you all.

I have resolved to try and save a bit more money each month (if I can). Obviously not drinking will help, but I will try and be less wasteful and more economical. I also need to beware of the Wine Witch/Vodka Voldemort, and the insidious whisperings that "You can moderate. You can do it. It's safe to have a drink..." that still come a-calling from time to time. Lies, all lies, and dangerous ones to believe. I know I can't moderate and it is never, ever "safe". Although it IS getting much easier to be less sad about that. The benefits DO make it all worthwhile, even if they take a while to kick in and take effect. It will get better, I promise.

Here is Sid's version of "cold turkey". As in - he would very much like to have some cold turkey in his mouth from your plate, Now, as quickly as possible, thank you please... He got more Christmas presents than I did this year, the jammy lad. But it does my soul good to know how much he is loved.

On we go with courage and dignity my friends. We can do this. It is going to be alright. Strength and love. xx

@Makemineasoda and @SissySpacekAteMyHamster I'm trying to lose weight too...I've put on 3 stone in the last 18 months (lost both my parents and comfort are/drank my way through it all). I'm logging everything on the nutrichek app, exercising (including weights which I'm really excited about) and of course going af.

Thanks for the welcome, all. With menopause, family bereavements (and condolences to you, @BlueLightBetty ), and hoovering up child’s leftovers, I’m 3 to 4 stone overweight too.

I’m a bit nervous about giving up alcohol - I know from previous attempts this has meant increased sugar - to me wine cravings feel not dissimilar to sugar cravings, and full fat Coke has often been my go to AF substitute.

However I’m due to start a 10 week weight loss programme in 3 weeks time, and it’s very intensive. Not looking forward to grappling wine cravings while hangry - so many times either one or t’other has defeated me, and now I’m taking on both! 😬

Important to maximise my three week head start for sobriety, I think the first two weeks are the worst.

thanks for the shout out @WendyWagon a few days ago, and hello to @BunniesBunniesBunnies @Crunchymum and other long-timers. Lovely to see so many positive Christmas and NYE posts. We spent NYE in Belgium with 2/3 of the teens. Once again i was grateful to be sober, glad i will remember all the events through their teen years and able to make appropriate judgement calls. Interestingly my eldest teen who is nearly 18 is totally uninterested in drinking. he has a couple of overly boozey mates and can i think see that damage it is causing them (DL loss and mental health).

Happy New Year, my sober friends and welcome to the newer members of the group! I have been 100 days sober today 🥳
Very grateful for this group which I find incredibly helpful, even if I don't post very often.
Today was a tricky day and I felt like escaping into booze for a while, but pulled through, I have found a Gordon's AF gin and it has helped me through the holiday season and today.
It's the thought of a treat, I think 🤔.

I hope you're all well and feel ok as the holiday season comes to an end and the stress of work etc is around the corner again..

Sid looks very cute 🥰 @REP22

Fantastic news on the 100 days @RunningtheHill - what a massive achievement. That's brilliant. 🏋️‍♀️🏆

Hello to @Fortheloveofgodwhy 👋 That's good to know about your eldest; both of my DNs are similarly uninterested. Although one did come back from their part-time holiday job fairly p~ssed, having been drinking after hours with colleagues. They were jabbering such nonsense. I might have been tempted to laugh - but I know that I have frequently been far, far worse myself and similarly thinking that I was succeeding in hiding it from everyone. I did them justice and pitied them. It is certainly not a regular thing, thankfully, and like your eldest, they also have a couple of friends whose antics have already taught them salutary lessons. I am sorry for those friends; though hopefully they will learn the lessons too, in time.

@BlueLightBetty and @LittleGlowingOblong I am sorry that you are dealing with bereavement as well as trying to keep AF. It's wretched at any time, but this time of year is especially grim. My drinking was at its worst when I lost my DF suddenly, and the fallout that ensued. Horrible. You have my love as well as my sympathy. It's really sh~t and I'm sorry. 💐💐

I put on weight to start with - I hit the chocolate milkshake hard when giving up booze. But I looked at it as that I needed something and the chocolate milk was certainly the lesser of two evils. It does get better, honest. The weight will sort itself out.

Having said that - next week I must be slithering, slug-like, back to Slimming World with my foot-fringe between my tubercles. I have been a bit naughty food-wise over Christmas. I may well be leaving a slimy trail oozing behind me... Pass the salt! 🧂

Strength and love. xx

Good evening crew.

7 months for me today. I can hardly believe it.

Welcome @BlueLightBetty and @LittleGlowingOblong (sorry if I missed others)

The weight thing/sugar issue is a tricky one.

I certainly had loads of sugar cravings and just went with it for the first bit (definitely the first 30 days), I even went as far as specifically getting sweets in to see me through.

After a bit I tried to shift to posh fruit (others on the thread will be aware of my cherry obsession this summer) and instead of keeping stocks of sweets, I made sure I always had good, tempting fruit in for that 4 o'clock slump.

I saw a bit of moderate weight loss initially but it did ramp up to a clear 1-2 pounds a week after that without really trying (other than not indulging in sweets. )

I still drink soft drink and AF beers thought, which are not exactly sugar free.