The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

Merry Christmas everyone. I’m enjoying this feeling! I think I might even enjoy Christmas lunch properly for once! I’m usually well on the way to an evening of regret by now.
will toast at 4 with my fever tree lime soda in a fancy glass of course! Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day.

Good afternoon everyone, Merry Christmas to you all.
We are eating this evening, just back from walking dogs at the beach. Went to Sandringham earlier, (live close by, not really a Royalist, but my eldest DD wanted to see William for some bizarre reason!) so saw them leave church. Louis is very cute.

Have AF bubbles for later when I will toast you all.

Merry Christmas everyone. I'm raising a glass of AF gin and tonic to you all. Cheers 🥂🥂🥂

A very merry Christmas to you. To all aboard this fine ship. Thank you for your bravery, honesty and friendship this year. You have kept me true and gave me joy, comfort, strength and hope. And the courage to be brave myself.

Thank you for your love towards our Sid. He joins me in toasting and cherishing you. You're amazing.

Strength and love ❤️ Your future is going to be brilliant. xx

The thanks are all yours @REP22 , you are an inspiration.
Sid is so gorgeous.
Have a good day, you are amazing x

@Middlemarch123 💖 thank you 💖x

Toasting you all with orange juice today.
Posting a picture of Mr Tiggle. Ships reserve mate, our mad cockapoo post turkey lunch.

Oh, bless him @WendyWagon what a sweetheart! And bless you too xxx

Merry Christmas everyone 🌲.

Thank you to all my sober sisters for the love, support and friendship these last 6 (and a bit months).

I have raised my sparkling water to a new year filled with adventure, friendship, self discovery and joyful alcohol free living.

Much love to you all.

How did everyone do?

I have AF fizz, and raised it surreptitiously at 4.00, in a toast to you all. I hope the vibes of encouragement reached all who needed them, and also to the lovely Sid. My grandpuppy is here, snuffling and snoring festively. He sends his best wishes to Sidney for a peaceful 2025.

Raised a glass to you all about 4.30 !
Have stayed AF all day
Day 23
Not saying it was easy but we did it !!
Sipped all sorts of pretty horrible AF fizz but cannot beat a lovely brew !!!
Sending virtual hugs and. Christmas wishes to all and a special one for Sid x

Signing off after a wonderful sober Christmas Day. I raised my glass at 4pm and it gave me a warm feeling inside to know that we are all supporting each other.

DD told me she felt really proud of me …. that she understands how hard it must be for me and she loved me. Bless her ❤️.

DD doesn’t drink (well not more than a thimble full) and her BF who was with us drinks very little - he had one beer the whole day. DH and DS are both a bit tipsy - but if you didn’t know them you’d hardly notice and neither of them cause any drama and are very amiable when tipsy. It doesn’t bother me but when we were at friends earlier, one of their neighbours came to visit - he was really quite drunk and quite loud/slurring etc. Not in an aggressive way, but just enough to be annoying.

I hadn’t wanted to drink anyway but if I’d been swithering, seeing him would have put me right off! So glad to be going to bed AF!

Goodnight all xx

Morning ! I hope that you all had a lovely Xmas day.
I didn't succeed and yesterday had a couple of glasses of wine. Lost a very close friend. Didn't get drunk or tipsy, just couldn't be bothered to not have a glass of wine with my family. The funeral is today. Going to be very sad, but I won't drink any alcohol. So I'm back on Day one. Again. Hopefully going to be stronger this time.
Sorry, feel a bit of a loser and a disappointment at the moment.
Hope you all have a good day. It's Boxing Day for you. Nearly forgot...x

Morning all.
A lovely clear headed morning.
I even had milk and a turkey sandwich in the middle of Downton.

@Nowstrong i'm sorry about your friend.
Climb back aboard and put one foot in front of the other. My first Christmas failed as my friend died on the 22nd. I can't do grief. I'd been sober for nearly a year at that point.
We try again and it does get easier.

Yesterday was a success for me. A peaceful house but my DS pinched my AF cocktails!

Morning all.
So sorry about your friend @Nowstrong

Yesterday was my third AF Christmas, and they definitely get easier. Mind you, my first AF Christmas involved an absolute nightmare of covid diagnoses and a traumatic visit to my mum, so anything would be easy after that!

The dishwasher broke last night, so enjoying a quiet coffee before a run and a lot of washing up!

Happy belated Christmas to everyone.

It was my 3rd alcohol free Christmas too and whilst it was easier than the previous ones, I still find it hard. Was with family (in-laws Christmas eve and my lot yesterday) and everyone barring the kids, drinks quite excessively.

I got to a point yesterday when everyone was slurry and getting silly (nothing too bad but just winding the kids up, not playing any of the quizzes properly etc) so we made our excuses and left. It was about 8pm and we'd been there all afternoon. Was so relieved to get home and know I don't have to be around any drunk people again anytime soon 🙃

I'm doing our own Christmas dinner today and it will be soft drinks and alcohol free martini.

Have a lovely boxing day one and all.

Thank you for the encouragement. I really needed that. Have pulled my big girl knickers on and will continue my AF battle. @WendyWagon thank you. It's funny strange, as my friend also passed on the 22nd. Sad Christmas for some families...
@Onewildandpreciouslife I really appreciate your user name today. Thank you too, for your encouragement and story. Good luck with the washing-up.
Will battle on, was worried that as I had a fail/fall, I couldn't come back until a success.
Am pretty determined, have picked myself up onto the wagon.

@Nowstrong success is each day!

Every day we don't put our organs through the marathon of trying to purge a poison is a win.

@Nowstrong i’m sorry for the burden you are carrying, when you are going through hell, keep going and remember when it comes to a slip off the wagon it doesn’t mean you’ve failed and are starting again, don’t make a big deal out of it, put it to the back of your mind and continue on.

I had a quiet Christmas, it will be busy today, but yesterday I raised a glass of Kylie af wine and to be honest Kylie Minogue can bloody well keep it, it was too sweet, she must stand on the production line in a hair net pouring extra sugar into each bottle, mumbling under her breath a medley of her greatest hits 😂. As fabulous as she is, she should stick to camp pop and il stick to the dryer af drinks.

Have a good day everyone 🙂

So sorry @Nowstrong What awful news ☹️. I hope the funeral goes as well as it can given the sad circumstances.

A nice day here yesterday and I celebrated with AF fizz and a couple of AF pink gins as well as kombucha, tea, Diet Coke and sparkling water. As a family very little alcohol was consumed with my husband only having two small glasses of red (he is reducing drastically but is very good at moderation) and the adult kids were pretty abstemious too. Last year I think the booze was cracked open at 10am with Buck's Fizz and never really stopped. 😳

The day was really fun with lots of card games, a nice Christmas film and no drama. My elderly dad is with us for a few days and said it was his best Christmas ever ❤️🎄🥰

So very sorry about your friend @Nowstrong , it's understandable that you caved. I hope that the funeral goes as well as these things can. It's a cruel time of year for such things. Much love to you. xx

Strength and love to all shipmates. Hope your day is more box than cox 😉 xx

Sorry to hear about your friend @Nowstrong , hope you are OK.

Managed a day of AF wine and AF pink hin and tonic, and didn't miss the booze one bit. Friends came round for games and drank tea.

Booze everywhere, but didn't even consider it.

Hope you all have a great boxing day.

@Nowstrong sorry about your friend, so sad for you.

@CarrotSeeds so lovely that your dad said that, bless him.
@cookiebee giggled about Kylie singing a medley of her hits and pouring sugar into her bottles of fizz “I should add more sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, I should add more sugar to this.”

Love to all, yesterday was fine, family drank a little, I drank a lot of water, AF red and orange juice. Never watched Xmas Gavin and Stacey sober before. Truth be told, it was well lush. Enjoyed it Iz did.

@Nowstrong sorry to hear about your friend and I totally get the feeling of having a bit of a “fuck it” moment and having a few wines - but look at the positives - you stopped after a few and didn’t get blind drunk so I hope you can “forgive” yourself and just put it behind you. Hope the funeral goes as well as these things can

Happy Boxing Day to everyone. Lazy day for us. Finishing off the clearing up I didn’t get done yesterday, full Scottish breakfast (like an English but with tattie scones and haggis/black pudding slices), then an all day grazing on various sweet and savoury snacks.

Day 10 for me today so double digits yay! Still no desire to drink - still in the post-bender shame phase. Another 2 weeks down the line and I’ll be entering dangerous territory - the shame will have mainly worn off, I start to think I can moderate if I just try really hard etc etc. That’s when I’ll need to dig deep to stay AF.

Hope everyone has a good day x

@nowstrong so sorry to hear about your friend xx

Day 58 here, had some nosecco yesterday it wasn't too bad. Happy Christmas everyone, Sid always looks so cute! A family member was extremely very drunk, but in a strange way it reinforced my decision to remain alcohol free.

We are all sick in this house but so lovely waking up not worried about what I might have said!