The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you! This thread has helped so much. I am aware of this ‘pink cloud’ idea so trying to stay grounded lol

Oh and massive congrats on 1,000 days, what an inspiration!

Good morning.

Can I say the first day, first week, first month are the hardest.

Get through those milestones and it's easier. Not easy, but easier.

You can become complacent but nothing every replaces the great feelings we get from quality sleep and that sense of a achievement.
We're built for hard things.
'keep on till the end of the road'.

@Itsrainingten congrats on 365! I want to be you in a years time!

Sorry for all the posts you’re all so nice I don’t want to miss anyone out and I know I still have, so hello and thank you to all of you!

@Minimum85percentCocoa well done on completing the week! That's awesome. And parkrun too. Bloody brilliant. Like @WendyWagon said the early days are the hard at and you're smashing it.

Thanks for the welcome messages! Watched a film last night with my husband and no alcohol so happy with that as I normally do drink on Fridays. The quit lit is doing me the world of good, it all makes sense so just need to keep going. I have to do it for my kids.

Welcome @Dionysius - sorry I think I missed you before. Off topic but I just finished reading a book about Ariadne - wife of Dionysus, called unimaginably "Ariadne" !
Have you read it? I enjoyed it.

Afternoon everyone. Congratulations to all reaching targets and milestones. If, like me you are having early nights, or just want to watch something, can I recommend’The Dry’ on ITVX? It’s very relatable and the central character is in recovery. Focus is on trying to stay sober in a very funny disfunctional family. Fleabag meets Rachel’s holiday sort of thing.
Have made a lovely lasagne for dinner, and stocked up with Not Guilty AF red wine. Not like red wine, but I like it.
Have a good weekend all. We have got this!

I like Not Guilty, if only for the label, which features a French Bulldog pup 😀. Bon Voyage is good too.

I enjoyed The Dry, too.

Thanks @ShyMaryEllen , I’ll look out for Bon Voyage too. Once I realised that AF wine isn’t like wine, I found I quite like a few of them, Adnams do a nice AF red, but only available in our local Co-Op.

well done ladies old and new to the thread. i'm on a third night out - only possible due to sobriety or i'd be in a heap by now. just put some nail
polish on and realised that even THAT is called ' wine o clock' as a colour name. eye roll. one day they will stop this incessant ' you can only have a goood time on booze' nonsense.

I'm on the AF Sauvignon Blanc tonight. First time trying it. Was worried as it had a very vinegary smell, but i actually like it and I feel like I'm having a drink. Will definitely be getting more in for Christmas.

I have a "Merlot" to try and sometimes passionfruit cocktails, all AF obviously.

Will be trying them out before Christmas, so I can stock up if liked.

The best thing is the whole bottle is only 150 calories!

I don't know how the calorie thing works, as the sugar content is always astronomical. It just doesn't make sense. I've got a bottle of AF fizz in front of me, and in one glass there are 32 calories and 75g of sugar! How does that compute?

Lordy knows, but I'll take it!

A very late check in, team. I've just gone to bed after a definite win! A very boozy annual Christmas meet up, staying over at friends' house so no one has to drive. Much alcohol has been consumed, party games etc. Usually I would be very drunk by now but I brought a bottle of AF pink fizz and drank that followed by loads of water and a cup of tea. Miraculously I didn't miss booze at all.

I am still first to bed though 🙈. I'm hopeless at staying up late even when sober! The others are downstairs in various stages of inebriation, including my husband who has been very moderate in his drinking for the last few months. To be fair, these people are his old friends who he sees once a year so I don't mind. Day #60 here 💪

@CarrotSeeds thats amazing! If you can do that you can do anything. I think you’ll feel even better in the morning when you see how you feel compared to everyone else….

Morning shipmates.
I'm off to Asda. They do a great Savignon AF sparkling.

I have three dos this coming week. I'm driving to all.

I've applied for a charity job. I can't do the London commute anymore but if this well known Christian charity are serious about diversity and inclusion it might work. Worth a go I think before I turn nuttty.

I watched Strictly. I have also got half way through the new Fern Britten. Hum, more of a self help book that isn't really me.
Could do with a new St Marion.

Have a peaceful Sunday dear friends.

Well-done @CarrotSeeds that's great. And yea you'll be feeling very pleased when everyone wakes up and you're the only one without a hangover!
Good luck with the application @WendyWagon I should imagine as they're a charity they will be very serious about diversity. Have you worked for a charity before? I do and it has some great perks - it's the most flexible place I've ever worked for example.

@Itsrainingten i have worked for a hospice charity and a few others.
It's not a big job but one quite close to home.
I know I could be medically retired but my brain woukd go a bit nutty if I sit on my bum any longer.
It's retail focused which is my thing.

I never thought I would settle into not working much, but I did - like a duck to water. As some of you know, I had health issues at first, so a lot of time was taken up with hospital appointments etc (and catching up on sleep!) but I gradually introduced low-level commitments so there was something in the calendar most days. I did a non-work-related MA, which kept me busy for a couple of years, and started dealing with the neglect in the house, which had been allowed to slip into disrepair while I was drinking. It's a cliche, but I don't know how I found time to go to work. Waking up naturally, without The Fear and without being jolted from sleep by a screeching alarm is still something I relish. The novelty never wears off.

But good luck with the application. As I keep saying, this is all about finding what works for us as individuals 😎

Happy Sunday folks! Checking in. Had a very wholesome weekend so far. It’s not all plain sailing but I’m finding putting distractions in and changing up my routine at traditional trigger points (usually work related) helps a lot!

@Minimum85percentCocoa well done on 7 days. I have to confess to a major wagon fall last night. But I'm trying again tonight. It didn't help that DH told me I was pathetic. Still ashamed of myself.

@Togetheragain45 Don’t feel ashamed, and it was unnecessary for DH to say that. That wagon can be a slippery beast! Main thing is to accept it’s happened, put it behind you and climb back up again. Think about all the AF days you’ve clocked up, it’s just a bump in the road. Don’t be hard on yourself. We all know how hard this is x

@Togetheragain45 So many of us will have slipped up in the past. In my case I didn't even dare to give sobriety a try. Please don't feel ashamed. You are doing a very brave thing in tackling the booze demons so should feel proud if anything. How unkind of your husband.

A cliché but today is a new day and you have already clocked up a fair bit of time alcohol free which can only be a good thing. Best of luck and keep posting. We are all behind you ❤️

Oh and too late to edit my post but I am now on Day #70 not 60. @Togetheragain45 if anyone had told me 70 days ago I would be posting this I simply wouldn't have believed them. If I can do this so can you. Sending hugs. You are NOT a failure ❤️💪

@CarrotSeeds and @Middlemarch123 thank you for the kind words. Tonight is going to be different, I hope.