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Alcohol support

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The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024

968 replies

REP22 · 20/11/2024 13:38

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Fire up the hot chocolate and make yourself at home.

OP posts:
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Met44 · 09/12/2024 16:32

Sorry to post again but has anyone got any tips on how I can get to sleep please?

WendyWagon · 09/12/2024 16:38

@Met44 some use sleep sprays, others aromatherapy oils.
I used milk as it makes some people sleepy. Hot milk with sugar or perhaps coco.

Just an aside question was your H abusive before the cancer diagnosis? Fear can make people nasty. Cancer can effect the brain. My mum was super horrid for three years. She didn't know she had cancer until the last six months.

You know of course 25% of problem drinkers will develop cancer. A frightening statistic.

Carpetburn · 09/12/2024 17:15

@Met44 i use the calm app to sleep. I’ve found it super relaxing. But honestly, don’t worry too much if you sleep is a bit messy at first. It takes your brain awhile to realise that it needs to put itself to sleep instead of being anaesthetised with alcohol. Even the worst sleep without alcohol feels better to me than any sleep after drinking. The thing I like most is waking up without regret..

CarrotSeeds · 09/12/2024 17:39

Promethazine which is sold over the counter at Boots under the brand name Phenergan works really well for me when I've had a few nights of not sleeping well. It's actually an allergy and travel sickness medication but helping you to sleep is a side effect. I wouldn't suggest using it every night, although it's non-addictive, but it's good for short term use.

Met44 · 09/12/2024 17:40

WendyWagon · 09/12/2024 16:38

@Met44 some use sleep sprays, others aromatherapy oils.
I used milk as it makes some people sleepy. Hot milk with sugar or perhaps coco.

Just an aside question was your H abusive before the cancer diagnosis? Fear can make people nasty. Cancer can effect the brain. My mum was super horrid for three years. She didn't know she had cancer until the last six months.

You know of course 25% of problem drinkers will develop cancer. A frightening statistic.

Yes he was, was quite nice to me after his diagnosis but has returned to his usual self!

ShyMaryEllen · 09/12/2024 17:46

Met44 · 09/12/2024 16:32

Sorry to post again but has anyone got any tips on how I can get to sleep please?

See my post above.

WendyWagon · 09/12/2024 17:55

@Met44 good luck tonight. Keep strong.

ponzusoup · 09/12/2024 22:22

welcome @Met44 sorry to hear about your situation and well done on taking the decision to stop drinking which will absolutely help you take back control of your life. you just need to do whatever it takes to get through the next hours/ days and they will become weeks. your brain chemistry will heal with every day. remember this isn't recovery this is just rebalance starting and much better things lay ahead. the hardest part in my experience is making the decision to stop. you've done that. sending love and compassion your way. i found this podcast really helpful in early days.

ponzusoup · 09/12/2024 22:25

www.soberpowered.com/

thisnakedmind.com/podcasts/

ponzusoup · 09/12/2024 22:27

and don't apologise for posting often @Met44 post as often as you like. that's what the thread is for. i used it for accountability in the very early days, before id gone public with my sobriety ....

ponzusoup · 09/12/2024 22:35

welcome @TipseyTorvey too

@Onewildandpreciouslife did you mean to post this?

mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-obstacle-course.html

ponzusoup · 09/12/2024 22:37

i think i've reached the hallowed field ( 7 months sober) and it is BRILLIANT. life still throwing shit at me but boy i am so much stronger less anxious and ready for it.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 09/12/2024 22:46

Thanks @ponzusoup - did my link not work? It works for me but I’m easily baffled at the moment!

ponzusoup · 09/12/2024 23:05

ah sorry @Onewildandpreciouslife i couldn't see it. it was a great reminder to me to read it so thank you so much!

ShyMaryEllen · 09/12/2024 23:37

ponzusoup · 09/12/2024 22:37

i think i've reached the hallowed field ( 7 months sober) and it is BRILLIANT. life still throwing shit at me but boy i am so much stronger less anxious and ready for it.

That's so good to hear 😎. Nobody believes it when they start out, but if we stick with it we all get there, and life is so much better for it.

CarrotSeeds · 10/12/2024 04:27

@ponzusoup that's absolutely amazing 😍💪 🥳 Really well done! X

mumzof4x · 10/12/2024 07:19

@ponzusoup :well well done. Hope so much to reach where you are .
Another daily poster hear (sorry) but yes it helps me to be accountable
Looking for mocktail idea for Christmas Day anyone?
Not a fan of anything too sugary . Never drank cocktails before but might be nice to also have something special to drink .

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Winter 2024
ponzusoup · 10/12/2024 07:23

sorry may have sounded like a dickhead last night. clearly on a pink cloud. but do keeep going ... it's worth it.

slinks off ....

EastCoastDamsel · 10/12/2024 07:51

Morning,

Don't apologise @ponzusoup . It's so good to hear you feeling so positive in your sobriety. Inspirational even.

Thank you for the link. I actually have a red light mask (for my face) but never thought of using it for SAD. I usually have a session in the evening but might give a go in the morning instead.

@mumzof4x how do you like ginger?

I am quite partial to a ginger switchel and tonic as a cocktail but instead of forking out for the expensive stuff (Gimber) I make my own with apple cider vinegar, a bit of honey and a splash of ginger gut shots (I buy the big 7 serving bottle and use about a tablespoon/drink - lasts about 2 weeks with a daily cocktail)

Alternatively I REALLY like Botivo Non alcoholic aperitivo. It's truly delicious.

Most of the best non alcoholic "spirits" are based on apple cider vinegar in my opinion. But I am a fan of that tartness.

WendyWagon · 10/12/2024 09:01

Morning all.
I am up and kicking.

Hoping to get a few decorations in today ready for the tree trimming tomorrow.

I don't really drink cocktails but I'll put my thinking cap on.

ponzusoup · 10/12/2024 10:03

clean gin ( a brand) and tonic is nice!

Onewildandpreciouslife · 10/12/2024 10:26

My favourite drink is Pentire Adrift with tonic. It looks like a G&T but isn’t trying to be gin - it has a nice herby, “clean” taste. I must get some in!

Met44 · 10/12/2024 10:47

Good morning, day 1 done!

I bought some of those Trip drinks yesterday and had a lime & basil one last night which hit the spot!
Had an awful night though, tossing and turning but going to throw myself into cleaning the house today so should feel better tonight.

I have a bit of a dilemma. FIL birthday on Wednesday (day 3 is my danger day!)
I don't get on at all with my in laws . He doesn't want to go out, but it is a significant birthday.
Have been asked to go over for a bit to eat. As I've said I'm having a bad time with H and my in laws. They have all treated me terribly.

My normal coping mechanism is to drink when I'm around them. Thinking of saying I'm not feeling well? But then I will be bad mouthed.

Not sure what to do? Any advice please?

mumzof4x · 10/12/2024 10:54

Thanks everyone some really great cocktail ideas
Love the Gimber one !
@Met44 welcome and well done on day 1
I'm new to this thread too and not that far behind you on Day 7 now so hand holding as it's very raw in my mind still.
Personally, I am putting me and my sobriety first and foremost
*** what people think.
Sobriety is more important
Now is about self care and doing whatever works for you
I have turned down a lovely weekend at MIL's just and I love spending time with her, however the weekend would have been flowing with champagne and the likes so I gave my apologies and stayed home
Day 3 was my worst day too
Early nights
Warm baths
Box sets
Lots of tea or whatever is your favourite distraction?