Would I be classed as an alcoholic?

[Isabelle728]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on my drinking situation.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

I do think the wine for me is a quick way to relax and I also really enjoy the taste of it but it has become a habit.
Would this make me an alcoholic or addict if I have 1-2 glasses a day and does it also make me an alcoholic that I would struggle to put a stop to this?

I just feel a bit stuck on what to do. Do I continue to have a glass or two if it's really not that bad and it's my way of relaxing or is it bad that I crave it so much and I should just put my mind to it and stop? Thanks x

If you struggle to o without and it's in your mind during the day I would say yes you have a problem and need to find a better way to relax

On MN, if you enjoy more than 2 glasses a year, you're an alcoholic so I'm nto sure this is the righ tplace to ask that question.

I think that if you really can't cope without it, then whether or not your'e an alcoholic is less of a question for me than the fact that yo are clearly heavily reliant on it. How much of it is reliance and how much is habit? for eample, while I can skip a glass of wine while cooking dinner, I find it hard because it's such a habit. But if, for whatever reason, I don't cook dinner for 3 nights in a row, there's an extremely high chance that I also won't have a glass of wine for three nights in a row either. I find having a glass of wine and cooking dinner is a sort of relaxation thing for me, but I'm clearly not physically addicted. Similarly, I'm more than capable of driving on a night out and therefore limiting my intake to just one glass.

I don't think that 1-2 glasses of wine a day makes you an alcoholic.

It’s not clear. It’s not great that you are fixated, but that doesn’t make you an alcoholic.
you aren't drinking that much so the bigger question is what happens when you drink and what will happen when you don’t.

I would make a positive plan for replacing the routine on weeknights. Maybe a series of mock-tail recipes to try. See how it goes.

Maybe it's not about the amount but the feeling that it's the only way to relax or relieve stress, it's more a psychological dependence which can be harmful and might lead to a physical dependence or increased amount.

@JadziaD I do think it is the habit for me, I can also go out and be the driver and not drink, but I love nothing more than having a glass or two of wine while watching some TV at home when I have finished work and my 2 year old is in bed, cook, or my absolute fav is when I am relaxing in the bath. But these are things I do on a daily basis so I always end up thinking to myself "Ooooo I fancy a glass of wine". I just worry that It is a very unhealthy habit that I need to get out of asap or if I'm ok to continue

So you go through maybe 2 bottles of wine a week? I wouldn't say you are an alcoholic based on that but it is a little bit over what is considered healthy. It might just have become a habit more than an addiction. I love going for a walk after I finish work to clear my head, so it's something I start to look forward to when it's nearing the late afternoon, but I'm not addicted to it.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

You don't have to binge drink to be alcohol dependent.

You don't have to think about drink first thing in the morning to be alcohol dependent.

Struggling to go one day without alcohol indicates you are alcohol dependent.

Craving to the extent you do indicates you are alcohol dependent.

Have you spoken to your GP about your dependency? If not, it may be a good idea to make an appointment.

It probably IS an unhealthy habit. You'd be surprised how easy it is to sto break though. So, for example, one or two nights a week I actually can't drink while making dinner as I have to go out later to collect DS from an activity. I won't lie, the trigger the first few times was really hard. Now I don't find it difficult at all. I laugh at myself sometimes because I'll think to my self, "ooh, I'm looking forward to having that glass of wine when I get back from collecting DS" but by th etime I get back, I've already eaten my dinner, and cleared up,and frankly, I don't feel like a glass anymore!

A useful trick if it's a trigger vs an actual addiction, is to replace it with something. A few years ago I used to make myself a really lovely, slightly bitter, alcohol free "cocktail" in the evenings. It was great.

Are you being honest about the amount you drink OP? What size glass are talking? Having such a strong craving seems unusual for someone who seems to drink fairly moderately.

There aren't any negatives to going for a walk. Consuming alcohol every day, craving it, and not being able to go one day without it, indicates a problem, with the potential for serious health issues.

I'm sure all medical professionals would prefer their patients to go for a walk every day, crave it even, than crave and consume wine every day.

Most people drink alcohol to de-stress. If the OP was downing a bottle of wine a day, then I'd think she had a dependency. One glass of wine a day, sometimes two is not alcoholism.

Do you actually stop after one glass or is it more like three glasses?

@foxandbee most days I will have half a bottle of wine max - so I would say 2 medium/ large glasses at the most per night, sometimes it really only is the 1. I never drink more than this unless it's a special occasion. I don't drink to get drunk, but I do feel relaxed after a glass

@Sockss most days I will have half a bottle of wine max - so I would say 2 medium/ large glasses at the most per night, sometimes it really only is the 1. I never drink more than this unless it's a special occasion. I don't drink to get drunk, but I do feel relaxed after a glass

Most medical advice would be to have at least two or three days a week without drinking.

Oh, well that's quite different. Having half a bottle most days is a lot. Then I guess you go through 3-4 bottles a week? I thought you had a regular sized glass (1/5 of a bottle) most days but not all, and sometimes two.

I would say it's not much worse than really looking forward to a nice cup of tea with your feet up in front of the tv. If you are not going over the drinking guidelines (too much or too often) we all have things we look forward to after work or as we relax for the evening, I don't know why alcohol should be so demonised if it's in moderation.

@thanksicloud just got married, 2 year old son, full time job, just moved house as well so life is stressful. This is my escape but I do want to stop if having 1-2 glasses a day means I have a problem

@Isabelle728 but you don't have 1-2 glasses a day, you have half a bottle most days, ie 2.5 glasses.

I think ideally, 3-4 bottles of wine a week is probably starting to head over into too much, especially if you never have a day off from it. I wouldn't be trying to go cold turkey on the basis that you're an alcoholic, but I woul dimplement some specific strategies to reduce this - eg no wine on Mondays and Tuesdays or similar.