Would I be classed as an alcoholic?

[Isabelle728]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on my drinking situation.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

I do think the wine for me is a quick way to relax and I also really enjoy the taste of it but it has become a habit.
Would this make me an alcoholic or addict if I have 1-2 glasses a day and does it also make me an alcoholic that I would struggle to put a stop to this?

I just feel a bit stuck on what to do. Do I continue to have a glass or two if it's really not that bad and it's my way of relaxing or is it bad that I crave it so much and I should just put my mind to it and stop? Thanks x

Yes, you are. See your GP, that's the first point. Then see if you can stop 1 night a week and keep going from there. It's not quantity that makes you dependent, it's the habit.
Doing a workout instead might be an idea. It releases endorphins that makes you feel good in a similar way to the alcohol but without the depressive after effects

I'm going to assume a glass or two means two more often than one, and home pouring so that would be half a bottle. Add to that maybe a bit more on the weekend, so 4 bottles a week give or take? You'll keep telling yourself it's only a glass or two, but you need to think of it as a bigger picture. It isn't just the alcohol, there's the empty calories, the financial cost, the quality of sleep etc. I don't want to be a killjoy, but there are other ways to treat yourself at the end of the day - weirdly I find a bowl of strawberries (even in November it would cost less than the wine!), cheese & crackers, sparkling water with ice and a slice, facemask... and as you say, have the wine on the weekend when it's even more of a treat

My drinking crept up during covid. I was wfh, my job was incredibly stressful and busy due to the pandemic and I felt like I needed it to separate myself from work.

Once I realised this, I immediately changed to never drinking mon-friday. I still had one bottle of wine over the course of a weekend but even that gradually fell away.

I do still drink, but I buy the mini bottles of wine and have 1 of those maybe on a Saturday evening if I feel like it. I now drink maybe twice to three times a month.

You can do it, start with small steps and increase. So maybe no wine tues-thursday

Other Class 1 Carcinogens include hot dogs, bacon, ham, sausage, cold cuts.

It’s not really how much you drink but can you stop ? Are you craving it? Is it negatively affecting your life ?

I just worry that It is a very unhealthy habit that I need to get out of asap or if I'm ok to continue

There are a lot of alcohol apologists on MN who will tell you they drink like you do. The research is clear - there is no safe amount of alcohol. However, since most of us like a drink every now and then, the guidelines are less than 14 units, which you will be over, and more days not drinking than drinking. You may not have a physical dependence at the level you are drinking, but you clearly have a psychological one and that is not healthy.

There are huge variations of what people think is ok, someone might be managing fine drinking a bottle a day (for now) and some touch none at all. I know I would rather have none at all as it does me no good whatsoever.

Did your parents and the rest of your family drink every day?

That is actually a lot. Medical advice is shifting as more research is coming out about how unhealthy drinking, even a small amount, is. You need to stop because of the mental toll it is taking on you (that fact that you are thinking about it and missing it). I had about a year where I was drinking a glass of wine per night or every other night and realized that it was becoming the main way that I would relax. It wasn't healthy. I replaced wine with reading really good books, going to workout or meditation classes in the evening, doing house projects, setting up fun activities for my toddler for the next morning. I would say it didn't take long to break the habit and now I rarely drink, I would never have a glass of wine alone at home (maybe if we were having a dinner party), but I can easily have bottles of wine in the house and I am not tempted to drink them or thinking about having a glass of wine.

A lot of people in the UK have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and want to act as if drinking every night or multiple times a week is fine, but the research on health says otherwise.

OP isn’t being “made to feel bad” - she’s obviously worried about her alcohol consumption, since she’s posting about it and wants advice/opinions. So, posters are going to present facts and point out she’s possibly in denial. She’s not being attacked.

I am with a few others in that I would call it alcohol dependant on the route to becoming perhaps addicted.

I was like that and then ozempic weirdly took away the want and I didn't drink for ages. Sadly creeping back now but I just moved all my booze up to my bar (yep, my husband built me a bar at the end of the (thankfully long) garden just as I stopped drinking lol) so it's out of reach.

DO you find that when you party with friends you don;t have an off button? that's what I also went on to develop

I was I. The mummy wine culture bus for all the years my kids were small and so regret it. I've given up altogether this year to break the exact same habit and mental dilemma gymnastics you're going through. I should have done it years ago! You say you don't get hangovers/it doesn't affect you etc, you do. You just don't realise you're feeling sub par because this is now normal. It took about 3 months to feel better. I don't want to preach but I keep a list of the benefits. I'll post them here. You can decide for yourself, but I won't drink again after I've done the year, it's such a scam.

Mums taxi available 24/7
Calmer mum
More present mum
Good role model as a mum
Extra peaceful home
Baseline mood high 🙂
Little to no low moods
Fitness improved
Muscle tone transformed
Strength improved
Clear skin
Productive mornings
Hair growing in better condition
Massively improved sleep
Less afternoon fatigue
Not wasting money in the pub
MORE energy on nights out than drinking!
Not a single minute spoiled by a hangover
Able to drive next morning
Consistently productive weekends
Positive outlook and resilience high
No inner narrative or debate around drinking
Improved memory (well, less shit 😂)
Better clarity at work

Cons:
👀
0️⃣

Replace your wine with alcohol free wine and test yourself. If you're seeking how alcohol makes you feel, then yes you have a problem.

My friend failed to make it on a holiday recently duw to alcoholism - she spent £000's and even booked new flights.

Pls go and get help. This is your life, you boss it not alcohol x

Well if the OP is fed up every night at tea time she needs to do more than stop drinking , she needs to make her life more enjoyable .

@Isabelle728
I've just gone through a very similar thing. I wouldn't have classed myself as a heavy or binge drinker but a daily drinker out of habit. A glass of wine with dinner, but every day . . .

It was absolutely the ritual of that post work drinkie rather than the actual booze. My after work weekday habit now is a fancy or wine glass, with a Belvoir cordial, some fizzy water, ice and a slice. Or an alcohol free dry Martini and lemonade.

I won't lie - I absolutely look forward to my next drink because I LIKE wine, a cocktail, a beer. But U have reframed my drinking.

Good luck !

@teenmaw thank you for this. It's very true, I probably don't realise how the wine is actually affecting me long term as well, regardless of the fact I don't binge or get drunk

@RaiseitM sorry there are so many messages I am finding it difficult to catch up. Currently having a tea and rich tea biscuits rather than my usual glass of wine trying to catch up. But regarding my husband, he has never mentioned anything of it and doesn't seem to mind, he even occasionally comes home from work with a bottle of wine for me. I don't get drunk so I don't think he sees it as an issue and it probably a bit obvious to it or is just so used to seeing me with a wine he just doesn't realise. He is from a very wealthy family, those who drink everyday, much more than I do, his mum has been a heavy drinker since he can remember, but she is happy and loves to binge. I think he might see it as the norm possibly

Exactly, telling the OP it's totally fine for her to crave alcohol isn't helping at all. It's madness !

@RaiseitM it's not that he doesn't notice, I just don't think he is bothered by it or phased by it. I just explained to him about what I posted on here today, told him that most people think I have a problem and he just laughed and said that I am not that bad, he reckons I do 3 bottles a week at most, he even commented that he craves a cigarette 20 times a day but doesn't really care as he enjoys it and is happy to admit he is addicted to smoking. I get what he is saying to an extent that we can have cravings but I do feel myself that I rely on it too much. Today I have decided to make a change and will follow everyone's advice

Personally I do think you have issues with alcohol. You should be able to go a day and more than a day without thinking about it. It shouldn’t be a craving regularly

OP - IF you have a problem your history of posts implies that it isn't a couple of glasses of wine a night. I'm trying to avoid being judgemental or critical because neither will help you, and I'm not sure that you deserve either.

I hope that you have a friend or relative not on MN who can support you and make you feel less as if you are doing something wrong.