Would I be classed as an alcoholic?

[Isabelle728]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on my drinking situation.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

I do think the wine for me is a quick way to relax and I also really enjoy the taste of it but it has become a habit.
Would this make me an alcoholic or addict if I have 1-2 glasses a day and does it also make me an alcoholic that I would struggle to put a stop to this?

I just feel a bit stuck on what to do. Do I continue to have a glass or two if it's really not that bad and it's my way of relaxing or is it bad that I crave it so much and I should just put my mind to it and stop? Thanks x

If you can't quit you are addicted... simple as.

Lots of mams at my kids school where loud and proud 'prosecco mummies' having a bottle every single night after putting the kids to bed... yes it is alcoholism but its the sort of middle class alcoholism thats 'socially acceptable' for some reason. It will still destroy your liver just as much as it will the guy necking special brew in the park at 8am though.

The fact you need it and struggle to go a day without it. I would say you are alcohol dependent. For me the other thing is you can’t miss it for a day. You don’t have to be falling down drunk to have a problem.
I think you have a problem but people with an alcohol problem lie to themselves as you are eg it’s just a bad habit but I can’t stop for one day.

You crave alcohol daily, I would focus on that rather than the amount consumed. I would say to be drinking at this time every day is indeed a problem, sorry.

Just cut down. Start with every other day.

@CandidHedgehog I don't touch alcohol, thanks very much. I can't drink.
So you're wrong there.

@Isabelle728 the fact that you are saying ‘I will just have it on a Friday so I have something to look forward to ‘ says you have a problem with alcohol , not necessarily an alcoholic . Is alcohol really so important that you look forward to it ?

There’s two ways of determining if it’s a problem.

In absolute terms, I’d say it’s a problem that you are having more than double the recommended number of units a week, every week. That will have health consequences.

In terms of problematic impact on your life, is it preventing you doing things with your partner, friends, child? Are you staying home to have half a bottle of wine instead of seeing friends, or exercising? Does it take you an hour or so to get going at work in the morning because your head is that bit fuzzier than if you’d abstained for the night? Is it costing you money that you could otherwise spend on your new house?

What does your partner think?

Hi op, no I don't think your an alcoholic. I don't believe you would be able to stop at a couple of wines in the evening if you were. It would also be changing your behavior. The alcoholics I know would never be able to stop at two wines. It is however a slippery slope. You shouldn't rely on it to relax. Maybe try cutting to one then cutting to every other day or non alcoholic. Also think of your health as wine is very calorific is will help your health in other ways to cut down too. Good luck.

Yes, wine has some negative health risks - but those can be risks we're willing to take because the relaxation, the taste, the experience is worth it for that slightly reduced life expectancy (1-2 years for 14-25 units a week).

I would rather die at 88 having enjoyed the wine through my life than 90 having denied myself it. You only have to feel guilty if you think it's a problem.

Can you remember a day when you didn't have a glass of wine?

That would be my answer

'You only have to feel guilty if you think it's a problem.'

I don't think that is correct at all.

OP have you tried having one night off a week and maybe buying six mini bottles a week is a way of cutting down if this is what you actually want?

Are you consciously setting yourself limits like that?

Because I think that's another sign of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol - you're aware there's an issue and you're constantly setting yourself limits and time-scales, like, I dunno, "I'll only drink after 6pm" and "I'll only have one". Whereas someone with a healthier relationship with alcohol can take it or leave it and it's not on their mind when they can start or how much they're going to allow themselves.

@Icanttakethisanymore I agree to this 1000%! I do see it as a reward and also to de stress. I also used to binge at weekends pre baby! Now I just stretch it out in the week, but I do need to cut some days out in the week so I break the habit before it gets worse. I need to de stress in other ways and then maybe have my 2 glasses in wine at the end of the week supposed to every night!

It sounds like you want to cut it back OP. Come and join us on the facebook group 'Life is better without alcohol'. It's a very supportive group with all sorts of members who are drinking, trying to reduce, trying to stop, or have stopped. You'll learn a lot from it and you can also post anonymously if you want to.

Yes it is a slippery slope. I doubt all alcoholics start as alcoholics. The problem is the op's norm is daily drinking so it would not take much for that to escalate.

I think 35 units a week is a lot.

If you struggle to get through to bedtime without alcohol then yes you are an alcoholic. A fairly functional one, but your liver will not be at all healthy and the diseases you are at risk of are really not pleasant. You really need several days/most days each week to be alcohol free, with occasional alcohol in moderation being fine if you can manage to do that and then be alcohol free again next day. Many people who have struggled with alcoholism find that they can't manage occasional drinks in moderation and have to be completely teetotal or they lose all control. That's not universal though.

Speak to your GP. Help is available.

My.mum started off having a glass of wine as a reward each day ... it got earlier and earlier.

She ended up hiding booze in the house, got caught drunk driving, other stuff.
If you are starting to depend on it, recognise it early and you'll be OK.

@Floralnomad I think it's ok to look forward to a drink. Same as some people might look forward to a cigarette or a takeaway, I think it's acceptable that I enjoy a drink but just need to cut back on the amount I have and not make it a daily thing

Forget it, enjoy your life.

I wouldn't say that classes you as an alcoholic, no.
I used to drink similar to that amount but have cut down over the years. That said I still drink nearly every day- tend to have Sunday as alcohol free.
Does it affect your health at All?

Too much booze affects my health and that's why I limit it.

Cigarette is an unfortunate comparison as nicotine is highly addictive.

I see what you are saying, but developing liver disease is not a fun way to see out the last few years of your life. The numbers of women dying of alcohol related conditions such liver disease has massively increased in the last few years. I do think the dangers of alcohol are minimised. I have lost a friend to alcohol and am watching a sibling slowly getting sucked down by it. It has made me acutely aware of my own bad drink-related habits.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/alcohol-liver-disease-women-deaths-b2477598.html#comments-area

I think if you struggle to go one day without it, it’s a problem. Even if you cut out drinking Mon, Tues and Weds it would get you in to a healthier pattern.

Sounds like alcoholic speak to me