Would I be classed as an alcoholic?

[Isabelle728]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on my drinking situation.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

I do think the wine for me is a quick way to relax and I also really enjoy the taste of it but it has become a habit.
Would this make me an alcoholic or addict if I have 1-2 glasses a day and does it also make me an alcoholic that I would struggle to put a stop to this?

I just feel a bit stuck on what to do. Do I continue to have a glass or two if it's really not that bad and it's my way of relaxing or is it bad that I crave it so much and I should just put my mind to it and stop? Thanks x

Trouble is that alcohol is addictive and incidious - it can creep up on you. I'm by no means a party pooper but alcohol use by women has been glamourised over the years - most tv dramas show characters getting the bottle from the fridge when they are happy/sad/stressed/tired etc. we just need to be mindful as to why we are drinking and that we must control it before it controls us. For clarity it crept up on me but I decided to change that before it really got its claws in. I know not everyone is the same but we all should acknowledge the possible dangers and be informed.

(from someone who loves alcohol and drinks regularly - but also has alcoholic family members and most likely has the “pleasure seeking” gene:)

Two suggestions -

• have two alcohol free days a week, ideally consecutive days. Have something else to look forward to those days : pudding, bath bomb, new magazine or book, something. This advice was given to me by a palliative care doctor (someone who saw the effects of alcohol and the end stage but who also appreciated life is for enjoyment!)
• get a better handle on units and the limit for women. It was interesting that your 1 to 2 glasses ended up being half a bottle which is - as many posters have pointed out - over a week, way way over the safe limit. Enjoy what you drink but keep a tally. My husband’s dr advised him to drink much less but more expensive wine, something my husband embraced!!

You are having more wine days than non wine days and that is an indicator medical professionals would identify as concerning.

There are considerable increase in research linking cancers so from a health perspective it would be strongly advised to cut it out to give your liver a break.

Replace the reward though, maybe a pamper relaxing activity? Hopefully that will help with stress.

If the period (say a month) without is successful then maybe limit alcohol to when you are out socialising.

You have recognised a pattern, it would be great to get ahead of it before it does become a problem.

I don't hink the actual amount sounds wild, but that fact you're asking this question and craving wine from early in the day does indicate you're starting to think it's a problem.

If sounds like your only de-stressor. Could you try implementing some others a few days a week? E.g. I love a bath, but sometimes take a peppermint tea instead of a wine. Or a hobby that uses your hands - jigsaws, crochet, etc.

But fwiw, when mine were 1 and 2 I definitely drank most nights and more than you! They're a few years older now, life is less hectic, I get much more sleep - and, funnily enough, I drink a lot less!

I think it sounds like you have relatively low level alcohol dependency. Crucially it seems to be at the stage where you are able to make conscious decisions about it, which means you have the power to change it. If you continue this may not always be the case, so I would quite while ahead if I were you.

I think that if you are an alcoholic then so is nearly everyone I know.

Surely everyone who drinks alcohol does it because they enjoy it /look forward to it? Otherwise they wouldn't drink at all.

Everyone you know drinks half a bottle of wine every day?

Hello.
I started to have an alcohol problem in my thirties when my DD was 1. I stopped three years ago. I drank for 18 years.
I drank five days out of seven. Half a bottle like you until I went for the whole lot. Daily drinking does not allow your brain or liver to recover.
My family hated the drinking but loved me enough to want me to get well. I was a lucky one. I've lost two friends and my younger brother to the booze.
If you want to give up, hop onto the alcohol support thread. It's a long running conversation.
Try some AF gin and tonic and think about your DC. If there was an emergency you can't drive. I effected my children's lives at times. Don't be me.
Female alcoholics are different to men. The shame is greater.
Smart recovery is available too if you find you can't cut back. Good luck.

You are stressing about it too much which makes you think about it & contributes to the problem. Just do "Dry January" (it's too late for November which isn't officially designated as a universal “sober month” in the same way that January has become widely known as “Dry January.”).

If you can't do Dry January - THEN start worrying.

Bloody awful stuff, though, and bears no more resemblance to wine than Camp coffee did to an espresso.

God knows I’ve tried enough of them.

I guess it depends on whether we’re talking small, medium or large glasses and whether it’s 1 or 2.

2 large glasses of wine a day could be 6 units so that’s 42 units a week if it’s every night. That is excessive but then drinking 40+ units over 1 or 2 days with but with 5/6 days alcohol free, is equally not great.

It sounds more habitual I’d say OP as long as it’s a smallish glass as only one.

Alcoholism is about dependency rather than just quantity. If you cannot go without alcohol without a problem for one day then you definitely do have dependency though more likely psychological as much as traditional dependency.

2-3 alcohol free days per week is advisable according to medical professionals. Perhaps cutting back is stage one then cutting just one day a week, increasing gradually to 3 days a week

If you drink every day then you’ve got a problem with alcohol.

Not necessarily. If alcohol is causing you problems in any way, shape or form then you maybe need to consider giving up. That could be hating yourself for being unable to break a habit rather than a physical dependency. Not all those with a problem (caused to themselves by themselves) are pouring scotch on their corn flakes

She can’t do one night at the moment, let alone dry January.

If you can't go tonight without it I would say, yes you are an alcoholic.

The thing is that you never know how it could effect your health. I remember a doctor telling me that some people can drink way more than that and be fine but he had female patients who'd developed cirrhosis of the liver from half a bottle of wine a day over many years.

It’s how you phrase it
‘ I’m going to the pub on Friday with friends and will enjoy a drink ‘
is very different to
‘ I will look forward to Friday because I can have a drink ‘ .

She doesn't wake up with DTs either.

I know that it's counter intuitive but believing that you have a drink problem is what causes a lot of people to drink. If you are dependent it is logical to have a drink. The beauty of Dry January is that you discover that it's easy and enjoyable not to drink.

FWIW, I don' think terms like alcoholic are that useful in a conversation like this because there is no useful definition.

Is an alcoholic someone who:

• drinks over a certain number of units? Advice varies on the precise number, and metabolisation of alcohol depends on more than your gender and weight.
• drinks regularly? Subjective
• drinks daily
• binge drinks
• drinks enough to get drunk? Subjective
• needs a drink? Subjective
• drinks secretly

I stopped drinking alcohol 5 years ago because I didn't like how it impacts my behaviour, or how my weekend and my plans would be marred by a hangover. I think that questions that are more useful are:

• why am I drinking? Stress? Social expectation? Anxiety?
• do I have trouble controlling how much I drink?
• do I have trouble refusing a drink?
• does alcohol impact me in ways I don't like? Embarrassing moments, bad decisions, injuries.
• have my close friends or family express concern about how I drink or how I behave?
• do I drink to manage other emotions or to be braver, more social?
• would I be ashamed to tell someone how much/how regularly I drink?
• is there something else I would rather be doing?

The fact that you are questioning your habit suggests that you yourself are concerned about it or uncomfortable with some aspect of it. If alcohol is part of your wind down routine or relaxation, can you address the elements that cause you stress and put an alternative action in place?

Well alcohol is fun so everyone who drinks it will prop each other up and say it’s ok. If OP or anyone is wrestling with should they/shouldn’t they in terms of always thinking about drinking, then alcohol is doing its job, it makes us feel great and sucks us in. The WHO declared that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption and it’s a class 1 carcinogen, it causes a long list of illnesses in even moderate drinkers and can make the end of your life pretty miserable. One substance should not be on anyone’s mind constantly, and if it is it’s because it’s an addictive drug and literally the best sedative whilst being consumed.

Alcohol is an addictive time thief, but it sure is fun! If you wish to break free please do, if you really don’t and are just looking for the ok to drink, then fair enough, you will definitely get it here, all the info is out there about alcohol though.

I think the problem with the "million pounds" thing is when the book was written and what that million means to the individual. A million certainly doesn't buy what it used to and for a lot of us it wouldn't be such a life changing amount that we'd be prepared to change our lives for it. For instance I wouldn't sell you my garden for a million pounds...I wouldn't give up my tortoise or my driving licence.

If it was me, then this would make me know that I had a dependency and I think the OP knows it too. "I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly"

@Isabelle728 my dad was an alcohol counsellor and he always said it’s the people who “just” have a drink in the evenings are the ones in denial and that this is basically socially acceptable alcoholism/dependency, however you want to phrase it, they are realistically the same thing if you think about it, no one wants to be called an alcoholic at the end of the day. I wouldn’t say you are one potentially if you can stop, but it’s concerning you keep saying I don’t drink to get drunk like that’s why alcoholics do it…they don’t drink to get drunk they do it because they need it and they can’t stop thinking about it, they just want to have something at the end of a shit day etc. I definitely think you need to look at that mind set

Not sure if anyone has asked this, have read your responses and most of the thread but apologies if i’ve missed it - what is the rest of your diet and non alcoholic intake like?

Are you eating enough and a healthy diet? How much sugar do you consume? I’m saying it because don’t discount how much sugar cravings can also make you want to grab a glass of wine, especially if the urge begins to hit you during classic mid afternoon slump time.