Would I be classed as an alcoholic?

[Isabelle728]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on my drinking situation.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

I do think the wine for me is a quick way to relax and I also really enjoy the taste of it but it has become a habit.
Would this make me an alcoholic or addict if I have 1-2 glasses a day and does it also make me an alcoholic that I would struggle to put a stop to this?

I just feel a bit stuck on what to do. Do I continue to have a glass or two if it's really not that bad and it's my way of relaxing or is it bad that I crave it so much and I should just put my mind to it and stop? Thanks x

Op I like the odd wine or cider especially if I've been stressed out, so nothing wrong with it. Its more that you are doing it every night is probably not great, your not an alcoholic which is what your question was but cutting down before it becomes an issue is a good idea or find other ways to relax. I go for a run to de stress, if I didn't I'd probably drink more!

I think it’s habit. I used to be like you but I got strict with myself about not drinking during the week and now I really enjoy those alcohol free nights and don’t think about it. It would be so so easy for me to get into the habit of drinking one or two an evening again.

also I think it depends on your glass size, if they’re large glasses that’s potentially six units a day which would put you way way over the recommended intake (no judgement, for years I drank way over 14 units a week).

Half a bottle is more like 4.5/ 5 units, so half a bottle a day would be potentially 30-35 units a week.

I'm sorry you're going through that. I do think there is a way to drink moderately and enjoyably though - we're not particularly good at in in this country though.

@category12 that is very true and makes a lot of sense when you put it this way :( yes I do set myself limits I suppose because if I didn't maybe it would get out of control. I probably do this so it seems more acceptable to drink daily? Very well said. I am 100% cutting back and getting out of this daily drinking habit before it gets worse.

It’s fine. It does not make you an alcoholic.

if you’re worried, then have two alcohol free days a week

I love a glass of wine in the evening and had a similar relationship to it as you describe. Would ‘crave’ a drink if I was trying to be good, just like I’d crave a bar of chocolate 😂 I’m pregnant now and have had no issue giving it up because I’m not truly addicted. I just like a glass of wine.

However, if you think there’s a chance it might be becoming a problem it’s probably best to give it up for a while and reevaluate.

It sounds like you drink quite a lot to me and the fact that you aren't getting drunk shows that you have already built a tolerance to it. Half a bottle of 12% wine is 5 units of alcohol. That means you are actually consuming 35 units of alcohol per week which is more than double the recommended amount. This is really unhealthy and may not show now but it will be storing up problems for the future.

Have you tried to go a week without alcohol? I wonder what withdrawal symptoms you would experience? This is quite a large amount of alcohol across a week. I'm not being judgmental, I could easily drink half a bottle of wine but I think you need to recognise that the amount every day does put you in the alcohol problem region. Regardless of whether it's alcoholism or not it is not going to be healthy in the long run and you need to make some swaps. Try getting some alcohol free drinks and see if they might work 2 or 3 nights a week....even if you find yourself craving the buzz I think for your own health you should try to reduce it

You’ll not get withdrawal symptoms giving up a couple of glasses a night.

You want to know if it's a "problem", but as with the words "glass" and "dependent", there is no definitive answer to that.

Half a bottle of 12.5% wine is 4.5 units. If you're drinking that every night, that's over 30 units a week - more than double the NHS low-risk limit of 14.

If you're drinking half a bottle/2 medium glasses 4 nights a week, and one medium glass on the other 3 nights, that's still around 25 units.

And bear in mind, even 14 units a week isn't "no risk" - alcohol can still cause long-term damage to your body at that level (I say this as someone who flirts with that limit on a weekly basis, and I have to remind myself it's a recommended maximum, not a target to aim for!)

Plus if you're not having any drink-free days, you're putting your liver under constant stress - there's no handy number to attach to that, other than an NHS recommendation to have 3 alcohol-free days per week.

None of this is necessarily a "problem" in the short term. Can you get up easily in the morning, and function normally during the day? You probably can. But years of drinking like this (even if you never go beyond half a bottle) adds up, and you're putting yourself at higher risk of a wide range of alcohol-related physical and mental health conditions as you age. Again, that's only a "risk" of health issues, not a certainty - only you can decide what constitutes a "problem", in terms of the level of risk you're willing to take.

I have found using the drinkaware app really helpful in terms of raising my awareness of how much I'm REALLY drinking on a weekly basis. I would highly recommend it as part of a suite of habit-breaking tools.

Just to add… limiting days just didn’t work for me, sometimes I’d want a glass of wine after work and wasn’t fussed at the weekend. Instead I’d just decide how much a week I was happy with, I.e 1 or 2 bottles of wine a week and added that to my weekly shop. When it was gone it was gone.

@WonderingWanda not judgemental at all! I prefer the honesty. When I don't look at the units that I consume I don't actually realise how much I am drinking! To see I have roughly 35 units a week when the recommended is 14 is insane! I will be cutting back 100% and I know I can do it, I will still get the craving but I can easily say no. I think it's ok to crave as long as it's not as often as I am carving currently

Try cut down to 1 glass a night.

Hello. It sounds like you have a lot going on and things are a bit stressful. I think maybe it’s worth thinking less about a label for your drinking as the fact you are wondering if it’s ok suggests on some level you know it isn’t. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an alcoholic but rather you are drinking more regularly than might be healthy. You could perhaps explore other ways to relax. I know with a little one it’s hard, but things like yoga videos at home, podcasts, music etc might be things to consider.

Until recently, I was exactly the same as you OP. Worse actually as I had the 1-2 glasses with the occasional binge evening thrown in. I had a binge evening recently where I fell over and bruised my elbow quite badly. I woke up feeling like an absolute idiot and disgusted at myself, so decided to cut down on the daily drinking and stop the binges all together.

I tend to fancy my daily drink whilst I’m cooking dinner, but lose the desire after I’ve eaten. I found the best way to deal with the craving was just to observe it.. “ooh look, I’m craving a glass of wine.. how interesting.. what a weird chemical thing my body is doing”.. then ignoring that until it went away. After doing that for a week or so, the craving started to get smaller, which I also observed. A week later the cravings were smaller still (having still allowed myself a couple on Friday/sat)

I reminded myself that I don’t have to listen to that weird chemical reaction, knowing it would eventually go away.

@Isabelle728 , I would not say you were an alcoholic but you have identified an issue. It’s very, very easy to slip into alcohol dependency. It’s healthy for you to have a least 3 consecutive alcohol free days a week. Choose them and stick to them but don’t allow your drinking to escalate on the other days. If you can’t do that then I think you should go and see your GP. Good luck.

Alcohol free wine exists.

Not an alcoholic (because alcoholism is like any addiction, it completely takes over your life) but that's a fair amount of extra calories to be consuming every day - I know this from experience, have recently cut down on my 'one or two glasses a day' wine habit and have lost weight quite quickly!

Sometimes it is the ritual/habit, rather than the alcohol itself. I went through a phase like this a few years ago and found that a couple of nights a weeks I could do a mock-tail (tonic water, a fruit juice, lots of ice and garnishes of fruit so that it looked a bit like a pimms) or a non-alcoholic Prosecco type drink, served icy cold, in a tall wine glass and it seems to meet the ‘need’. Once I was able to do this I felt reassured that I wasn’t an alcoholic after all, albeit I had until then been exceeding the 14 recommended units a week. It became easier to just have the one drink or wait to open the next bottle until Thursday. Not sure if that might help?

Yes, absolutely!

You're psychologically dependent, hence the craving. Whether you're physically dependent you won't know until you try to abstain and see if you get physical effects. Whether you're an alcoholic of not is a different question to either of those things. You'd do best to do an online questionnaire via NHS than ask for views on here which will be filtered through the lens of people's own drinking habits and will actually be irrelevant to yours.

I’d say the same to someone looking forward to a cigarette . A meal is different as it could be that you look forward to not cooking , a restaurant cooks something better than you can etc . If someone said they have a Big Mac every night because they look forward to it then I think they have a problem as well .

It doesn't need a name. You're starting to feel uncomfortable about craving alcohol, and you're currently at a bit of a sticky wicket. You know it's more than you should be drinking, but that little gremlin in your head says "it's fine, I'm not getting pissed, I'm just chilling, it's not that much really".

You've a decision to make. Do you continue, with the risk of increasing the amount each evening (and don't kid yourself that this will never happen, only others do that, I'm in control) or do you choose to rein it in, right now?

Alcoholism can be insidious. It can sneak up on you when you're not looking. Really have a think about what you want to do here, as the decision you make now can be a pinnacle moment in your life. This isn't me being dramatic in any way either. I've just watched my best mate, who made the wrong decision, nearly die in hospital. Luckily he's getting better, he can now walk on a frame and the pain from the nerve damage in his feet has eased from agonising to manageable. He's lucky enough to now be a fantastic rehab place, getting the help he needs. He's only 44.

Really have a think about this.

Have a go on this: https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/tools/drinking-check#/overview

I suspect it will highlight a dependence which is unhealthy and often a step on the ladder to alcoholism.

You should cut it out and learn healthier coping mechanisms.

I'm sober 5 years. :)