The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

@Pip2000b hey welcome to the group. I’ve only just recently joined myself. I did exactly the same. I quit in January and I started again on 12th April. Like you thinking I could moderate. I’m not an every night drinker but a binge drinker and suffer terrible hangovers. When I quit before I followed a lot of sober influencers on social media and I remember one saying that for the first few weeks you will get sugar cravings, this is normal. She said to take one step at a time and not put too much pressure on yourself. I’m not great with the science but alcohol affects your dopamine and serotonin levels so when you have alcohol it gives your brain that feel good feeling and when you stop your brain is all over the place which can make you feel low, irritable etc. (please if I’m wrong someone correct me) My advice would be for now if you are craving sugar then let yourself have some because you are already doing something amazing by quitting. And in the scheme of things alcohol is so calorific anyway.
well done for taking the step. This group has been a little lifeline for me. I tap in every day either to just have a read or to get some advice and everyone here has their own story but ultimately we are all trying to do the same thing. You can do this 💕

Morning all and welcome @Pip2000b

You have taken an amazing and very brave step to admit to yourself that you need help with your relationship with alcohol and realising that like the rest of us in this group,.you can't moderate.

Please try not to be too hard on yourself,.it is not you who is weak but alcohol that is an addictive poison that changes your brain chemicals.

I would highly recommend reading/listening to some quite lit (The Sober Diaries/The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and This Naked Mind being personal favourites) and listening to some sober podcasts (SoberPowered and One for the Road are quite popular).

Please consider taking some high dose Thiamine (100mg) and don't fret about the sugar cravings initially, most of us get them after quitting booze.as our blood glucose control is all messed up from drinking AND our dopamine levels are out of whack (also thanks to alcohol). Sugar helps with the blood glucose dips and going ves a dopamine boost.

In these early days the focus is just not 🍻 ng today. You can tackle the other stuff in a bit.

I also recommend a tracking app, I do really like Reframe (but it isn't free) or I am Sober.

I also recommend treating yourself at with something small at the end of every week (using the money you saved from not drinking)

I am sure someone wiser will be along soon with better/more advice.

Need to dash now.

Much love and strength to all.

IWNDWYT

Welcome @Pip2000b ! Glad you found us. As @TiA303091 says, sugar cravings are completely normal, particularly in the early days. How long has your current AF run been?

I think most of us have gone through the phase (multiple times!) of thinking we’ve cracked it and can moderate, and then get proved wrong. Someone on a previous thread had a mantra of “feedback not failure” - you can learn a lot from those drinking days.

When you finally become free of alcohol, you really are free - you will realise it was holding you back in ways you couldn’t imagine at the time.

But the only way to get there is one day (or one hour, or minute) at a time of not drinking.

Morning all. Welcome @Pip2000b

Most people hit the sugar for a bit when they give up the booze. AA have tins of quality street.
I don't have a sweet tooth so I bought posh fruit, whatever I fancied,mangoes, grapes, pineapple

Morning everyone and welcome Pip 🥰. I don't usually have a sweet tooth but I munched my way through loads of Haribo and kiddie sweets in the first few weeks.

I am on holiday and although I haven't had anything alcoholic to drink I'm finding that hour just before dinner the most challenging. Usually we would go out for a few drinks while we decided where to eat that night. My daughter (we are on holiday together) has been really understanding and we aren't going into any bars. She has had a beer with dinner most nights but as I don't like beer anyway, that hasn't been especially triggering. Once I've eaten that craving disappears entirely and I only feel relief. It's funny how the cravings come and go so swiftly.

@Anna73moose I'm from north east England.

@Becky37. How are you feeling today? Sending strength to everyone on this thread 💪 🙏🏻

@CarrotSeeds

Morning. Thank you for checking in with me. I am feeling ALL of the anxiety and regret this morning, got the three smallest kids off to school and currently at home just thinking about how much I messed up last week (and every bloody week/weekend for so long).
I do know it's been the catalyst for finally making me admit I am alcohol dependant & need to get sober. But I am feeling so bloody alone and scared today.

I have a physical smart meeting at half one so this is something I am looking forward too doing. Real people to give me perspective and hope I guess. Just very low today but I will not drink

Bless you Becky. One foot in front of the other. Well done on organising your face to face meeting. I'll be thinking of you today ❤️

Good morning shipmates. Bit grey and murky here today. Almost had to crowbar Sid out of his hammock.

Congratulations on 6 weeks, that's absolutely epic. You're magnificent, even if you don't feel like it at the moment.

Welcome @Pip2000b - I am so glad you've found us. Managing a month at your first try was fantastic, please don't be too disheartened that you've slipped a bit. We have all been there. I slipped back many, many times and know that I absolutely cannot just have one or two. Something within just makes impossible for me to moderate, so I don't have any booze in the house. But plenty of friends on here can. We are all different. The main thing is to keep trying until you find what works for you. I know it's tough, but try not to beat yourself up too much; you're doing your best now and that's what counts. I was a devil for the chocolate milkshake when I was getting sober; I drank gallons of the stuff. Not good for the waistline but definitely the lesser of two evils. I found the books The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy) most helpful for me. And I cannot overstate how much the wisdom, strength and solidarity of the posters on this thread have helped me. I'd still be in a hell of a state were it not for this thread. Keep posting, if you want to, or just lurk and read, whatever suits you best.

@CarrotSeeds that's lovely, to be on holiday with your DD and that she's understanding and supportive; I hope you have a really lovely time together.

Keep going @Becky37 - you are doing so, so well. Please be kind to yourself. You're not a failure; you're not a bad person. You're making it right and that's so brave and strong. It's so good to have you here with us.

Here's Sid, looking jollier than he feels and trying to ignore the deer rutting in the next field. An education he neither needs (the snip) not wants (gay as a cucumber).

Strength and love. Keep going; it will be alright soon. x

Afternoon me hearties.
Back from a book shop run (I ordered the new Fern Britten). I came out with the book on Elizabeth 11.
I went to an old favourite corner shop and didn't even look at the booze.
I'm testing this counter benefit of the WLJ.
Had tea with an old friend and I ate a banana. We'll see, could be buyers codswalop.

Sorry for typo

Sounds like an excellent day @WendyWagon - saw FB on The One Show the other day (blatantly flirting with James May!) her book sounded great. I've just ordered Miranda Hart's book. My parents said that her sitcom character was exactly like me, hehe.
Enjoy the book and good luck with the WLJ injections. Hope the shoulder is behaving itself.
I am knee-deep in cattle passports. Such fun! 😉x

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words, I feel so touched. I have only done one day now AF but I’m in bed so I’ve made it through today 🙂 I’ve realised I drink to calm anxiety even though I logically know it won’t help soon after. Does anyone else feel sometimes like they’re two people?! As in, morning me feels like I don’t want to drink, can see all the benefits of being AF but then 6pm me is an entirely different person who wants a glass of wine!!! Thanks so much, I’m so happy I’ve found this group xx

Evening all. Just back from a pub quiz & pleased to report 100% sober.

Thursday is the start of the weekend for me and always a dangerous time so I followed advice to have a plan of something to do this evening to distract me. A pub quiz doesn't sound the obvious choice but to me it's much easier than slumped on the sofa at home with the temptation to pop down the road to get some wine.

It was really fun and I'm looking forward to tomorrow as one of DC is coming home to go to a sports competition nearby on Saturday so will be plenty to keep me busy.

Well done @Becky37 for first meeting & hello to all new people and nearly new people (sorry am useless at name checking but will try to get better).

Yes, the 'feeling like two people' thing resonates with me. There was the me who largely kept things together all day and the me who self-medicated at night. The trouble is that the two start to bleed into one another. It's relatively easy when you are at work all day, the children go to bed early, and worlds don't collide too much.

As they get older, though, they are up later and see more, and work starts to creep into the home. My work has always had a lot of crossover with home, but since Covid this is true of most people, and it can be dangerous when you are on work email half way down your third glass of wine.

Also, all of us on here are clearly active online, and I'd be surprised if anyone on this thread hasn't woken up with dread at what they may have posted the night before. It's not always just two people - increasingly all aspects of our lives are simultaneously blended and separated in ways they didn't used to be.

Morning all!
@SylviaB i love a pub quiz and I think that it’s amazing you’ve been in a place where alcohol is readily available and didn’t have any. Now that is a massive milestone in itself isn’t it.
I had my parents around for dinner last night, both drink. The offered me Prosecco to which I declined and also explained to them I’m done with it. They both are very supportive. My dad did say well you may fancy a glass at Christmas to which I replied no because it won’t just be one dad and I refuse to feel like crap at Christmas of all times. I noticed my husband didn’t partake in a drink either last night which surprised me as if I were drinking he’d have one too. So I’ve woke up to this morning feeling okay and going to work with a clear head! I still don’t feel 💯 after last weekends binge which keeps reminding me of why I need to do it this.
The weekend is here which will be tricky as usually it’s a glass of wine to unwind after a mad week of it all. Tonight I’m going to a cheese and wine night with my two besties, again both drink but unlike me have always known when to stop. So I will be having cheese and an alc free tipple.
hope you’re all feeling well and positive this morning and if you’re not this will pass. We’ve all got this 💕

@TiA303091 I've had something similar with my dad, bless him, who always buys me a case of nice white and a case of decent red for Christmas. I've asked him not to do that this year as I'm not drinking and his response was "well you will be at Christmas, surely". 🤷‍♀️

He means well and is elderly and unwell so ordering wine is an easy present option for him as he can't get out and about easily in his own. But I will reiterate a few more times that I would definitely NOT like wine as a gift this year 😕. not to mention that we have a cellar full of the stuff which I'm trying to ignore now

Morning all, @Pip2000b the feeling of being 2 people resonates with me too. I definitely spent months waking up thinking "no booze for me today". But by 6pm had convinced myself that a glass (🤣🤣🤣 - it would never be a glass only) with dinner is just what I need to wind down.

I also agree with @ShyMaryEllen that the 2 halves of ones live start to blend together and the 6pm person starts to show up earlier and earlier. 😢

I love a pub quiz @SylviaB and have found them far more enjoyable sober actually. DH and I have started going regularly to a local.one held every fortnight and I really enjoy it.

Morning all.

Well I have a weird confession to make. Even nearly three years into my AF journey I find Fridays hard. I wake up and play ' I will not drink'. However five days into my Wegovy jab I don't have that noise. I have been thinking about my pineapple and I have a lemon presse in the fridge. It might be me imagining it.
@NextPhaseOfLife is this happening with you on mounjaro?

A quiet day today with my new book. I don't work Fridays.

morning all, welcome to newbies, waves to regulars. newbies you will become regulars! just keep putting one sober foot in front of another and the journey will start to gain momentum. i'm 6 months sober after 40 years of crazy drinking with a bit of mad drug use thrown in. brain and self esteem have never felt better. sure, there are tough times - friday evenings for example - and life keeps slinging shit my way - but i am undoubtedly stronger sober. i've recently discovered This Naked Mind podcasts and they're really brilliant.

keep going ladies and most of all show some compassion and kindness to that wonderful person who is brave enough to recognise that alcohol is not our friend.

before i start a busy working day just waving to @WendyWagon to say i am so glad that the WGY is going well with the bonus of turning down the booze noise!

@WendyWagon I'm so pleased to hear the Wegovy is helping with alcohol noise too. That's fantastic. I honestly think it might be a miracle drug. I've heard about the possibility that it could be useful for sufferers of OCD and the like as well. I would LOVE to try it for ADHD and alcohol cravings one day if it gets approved for those uses. I'm not overweight though so wouldn't be eligible for it at the moment (and would be a bit worried it could lead to unhealthy weight loss) mind you I have even read that it's being investigated as a potential treatment for eating disorders like anorexia/ bulimia as well because they are compulsive as much as over-eating as I understand it.
Good luck with it anyway. I'm very glad to hear it's helping you.

Morning everyone. Stil sober, still detetmined. Can relate to all the above, especially, what now seems, the inevitable 'bleeding' of drinking into family life and work and getting earlier or more heavy and affecting ALL areas of normal life. This doesn't just happen to people who wake up and put vodka in their coffee. The damn stuff is an addicitve drug plain and simple and whether I just contained it to the eveenings or the weekends....I know now that one day I would be found passed out surrounded by bottles alone and probably dead. That is my reality. It might take another 10/20/30 years, but that is what will happen if I keep drinking AT ALL.

I know it wont be easy and I know there will be bumps along the way, no doubt lapses and relapses. But I am an alcoholic and I am ready to continue to face that every day and do what I can to stay sober in this life now

@Becky37 im an alcoholic. It took me a year to say it. I was so ashamed but you know shame needs to see the light. It's the only way we overcome it

I'm in bed, just had some side effects. Nasty business.

A favourite saying is by Ozzy Osborne. Drink like a teenager at 50, die by 60. Grim but true.

How are you @REP22 and Sid?

Hello all, waves and love from me and the cabin boy Sid.

Work is massively increasing for me at the moment. Not necessarily a bad thing, helps keep me sober. I absolutely cannot function if I've had a drink. Got a big social thing next week. I am determined not to drink, however I may be tempted. I refuse to waste a rare night out in London to booze and consequences. Thank you for asking @WendyWagon you're very kind.❤️

Strength and love for the weekend. It will be alright. xx

@REP22 how do you feel about AF drinks? I've been having AF gin and tonics when out in town. Most bars seem to stick a couple.