The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Good afternoon shipmates. I hope you're having a good weekend, despite the atrocious weather today.

Great to hear from you @threeandmeandthedog - it sounds like quite a menagerie you've got to manage there, I hope it's as peaceful as it can be. Sid hasn't worked out cats yet (probably a good thing) and he coexists peacefully with my brother's dog when he visits, but he's certainly best-off being the only dog in the household.

I've never tried AF alternatives, I worry that they might be triggering for me and I prefer soft drinks anyway.

I had my 50th birthday party yesterday (though it's not my actual birthday for a few days). I didn't want a party but others insisted. It was.... odd. No booze, coke or MDMA thankfully though. My SIL and niece made me a lovely cake, but it was a strange old affair. It's nice to be back home with Sid today, despite the grim weather. On our walk yesterday we came extremely close to a couple of deer engaged in the procreative act. Thankfully I managed to maneuver Sid well away quickly. A few months ago he took a good (justified) hiding from a doe he was pursuing, so I dread to think what an angry horny stag would do to him. Here is is, in reflective mood.

Strength and love to you all. xx

Happy birthday for this week @REP22 - well done for making it through your party- lovely to have a cake made for you. Hope Sid enjoys his reflections- he is looking resplendent in his deep thoughts.

@ShyMaryEllen yep the AF drinks producers have definitely spotted a lucrative market. I have tried a few AF wines and find them super sugary which I hate- the Wednesdays Domaine red is the first one that has been nice to sip at- still not really resembling wine though 🤣 For me, that’s probably a good thing. Prefer a cup of tea these days most of the time anyway.

Hi all - went to the gym this morning. It's a David Lloyd and they've just renovated the spa so even though I don't use that but very often I thought I'd check it out today after my exercise class. When you go in they're heading out glasses of prosecco. I asked if they had anything non alcoholic, and nope. Not even water. They said there's a tap I can help myself if I like. I mean WTAF? It's meant to be HEALTH club FFS

I'm slightly ashamed to admit I almost caved. I was thinking to myself - 1 won't hurt. It's because I wasn't expecting it I think. But I did hold firm.

@Itsrainingten I don't know how some of those gym-type establishments live with themselves (actually, I probably do. The profits). In Catherine Gray's book Sunshine Warm Sober there's a chapter on exactly this. Gyms that offer free prosecco post-exercise clubs. "Gym 'n' tonic" sessions at their in-hours bars (?!?) and gym-wear with alcohol 'puns' all over them. Deeply unhelpful. Top stuff for staying true. 🏆 x

Congrats on surviving the party chemically unassisted, @REP22 . Pass on my best wishes to Sid, too - ignoring copulating deer is asking a lot of one so curious about life.

I'm feeling rather flat. Mostly for reasons I've alluded to before, but can't say too much about in case of outing, but it's also one of those times where nothing is going right. An elderly relative is dying, which is probably for the best as she's been ill for a long time, but is sad nonetheless. She's in hospital, and unlikely to get out.

I am trying to get work done in the house and am being messed about. I can't decide whether to bin off the company I've been dealing with and start again with the laborious process of getting quotes from someone else, or stick with this one on the (unlikely) offchance that they'll crack on and get it done before Christmas. I haven't paid a deposit yet, so have nothing financially to lose either way, but I want this job done so I can move onto the next one on my list. First world problems, but it's bloody tedious - why can't people just be reliable?

Work is frustrating, or more to the point colleagues are driving me insane. I need their input so I can sign off my own work, and they are not forthcoming with it. I will be up to the wire with my deadline, and will end up working when we're away, which I didn't want to have to do.

Bah.

Evening, aah shipmates

I have been researching re the mounjaro and apparently others with RA have gone into remission. I'm bloody fuming. When I had to be wheeled into see the consultant in June she told me that I was still a 'big girl' and she was doing a check for a fatty liver. I didn't blinking have one. Ditto the information that was passed to my GP about me being a problem drinker. Steam out of the ears ladies, steam. I'm going to ring the GP tomorrow and if she says OK I'm having the jabs. I think a lot of the time it is age discrimination as I'm nearing retirement. My friend who's 70 gets no help. If it just one jab a week I did that for years. Yehah.

Joining again, after months of binging. Day one. Will check in tomorrow when i've had some sleep and read through the thread

Does a fatty liver mean you shouldn’t use the drugs, @WendyWagon ? As you know, mine is damaged but I am also contemplating using them. I have signed up for an exercise programme for the ailing, which I’ll try first and if it work I will definitely consider (#decisive) the jabs if they are liver-friendly.

Good morning all.
A good sleep was had. The DD has the shakes now so we are definitely suffering from something. No covid tests available yesterday.

@ShyMaryEllen i put a thread up to ask if anyone with RA had tried mounjaro and the response was enlightening. Reports of reduced inflammation in all cases regardless of weightloss.
The fatty liver comment was a nasty dig from my consultant as she seems to have taken against me. I don't have a fatty liver nor am I diabetic which seems to piss her off immensely. Her bedside manner has been appalling since I insisted on trying the Rituximab. I know it's expensive but peanuts compared to me not working. The mounjaro I would pay for.

Some friends have tried to put me off but they haven't spent twenty years being the fat one. I didn't have a weight problem until I developed RA. The drinking came the year after when my mum died and I'd ballooned by five stone. The booze kept the pain at bay (or so I thought).

There are a lot of weightloss drug bashing threads at the moment on MN. People are right to be cautious however if others think it is an easy fix it isn't. Old timers will remember I came onto this thread under a different name to get help with my drinking so I woukd be suitable for weightloss surgery. I am no longer big enough to qualify. I've lost 30kgs with the help and support of my fellow shipmates. I thank you all.
I'm really excited I might get a chance to look like me. I'm also not aware of any 'high' from mounjaro which a friend of a friend mentioned.

Morning all.
Marathon done and dusted in filthy weather- pouring rain and windy (but the wind wasn’t as bad as forecast). Under 5 hours, which I was delighted with.

That gym n alcohol thing is so frustrating @Itsrainingten . I remember Ally Bailey (endurance runner who wrote a very good book about getting sober - There is no Wall) posting on instagram about her ongoing spat with her gym for offering bottles of Prosecco as a reward for frequent visits.

@Onewildandpreciouslife blinking well done. X

@Onewildandpreciouslife That's amazing! Well done you 👏👏😃. We were supposed to dig out a new garden bed but postponed it as the weather was so foul in the morning.

@WendyWagon Wow, that's an incredible amount of weight to lose. You must be very proud of that! Your consultant sounds horrible and that dig so unnecessary.

@Becky37 Hello and welcome, or rather welcome back if you've been on this thread before. I am new and today is Day #16 sober. This thread is helping me so much so thanks to you all.

I will soon have the challenge of my first sober holiday in 38 years. It's a long haul destination so free drinks on the flight 🙈. Let's hope they have lots of sparkling water and Diet Coke. Any tips from old timers?

I always ask for seedlip if I go anywhere expensive. It's not cheap so fancy places and airlines tend to have it.

I hadn't even heard of that before WendyWagon but looks fab! It's an Emirates flight so hopefully they will stock it. I've already pre-ordered some 0% Tanqueray from the airport!

@CarrotSeeds there were loads of AF cocktails and AF beers available on my last holiday. Hopefully you'll find the same
They also had AF wines but they were terrible

Emirates is good for AF drinks, for obvious reasons.

I don't know why someone can't produce decent AF wine. I found switching to fake wine really helpful when I stopped drinking the real thing - I'm not sure I could have done it without having the ritual to fall back on - but until your tastebuds adjust the taste is not remotely as good. Given the tastes that can be replicated these days I don't know why more R&D doesn't go into it. I suppose lifelong teetotallers aren't bothered about getting the taste right, and if ex-drinkers don't want to be triggered the market might be small. I'd have thought there'd be enough people cutting down, drivers, pregnant women and people like me to form a decent market share though.

Welcome, @Becky37 , and well done for sticking with it, @CarrotSeeds .

Thanks Itsrainingten 🥰. I'm hoping to mostly drink sparkling water but it's nice to have the odd drink which feels special. Fortunately it's not a boozy kind of holiday, my daughter and I will be travelling around a few places in South East Asia, lots of walking and sightseeing and independent travel, so not a hotel with booze more readily available.

I've managed to find the threads previous to this one, the ones I had hidden 🙈. So will have a good read through those tonight.

Hi @Becky37 - welcome. Glad you've found your way to us. Be kind to yourself while your body is recovering from the binging. We're rooting for you.

@cookiebee has very helpfully bumped the "Reality of the End" thread within the alcohol support section. I have been re-reading it. It is very grim reading, but so helpful in reminding me why drinking is so dangerous.

Sorry you're feeling a bit flat and hounded at work @ShyMaryEllen; it's a funny old time of year. Hope things pick up very soon.

Top stuff on the marathon @Onewildandpreciouslife , that's a seriously impressive time. Sidney was on a mini marathon looking for deer last night. He didn't find any; they were long gone. I had to haul him away in the end, before the last of the sun's rays departed the remote scene. He was cross with me and muttered darkly to himself all throughout the Strictly results show.

Strength, love and courage to you all. We can do it. xx

@ShyMaryEllen
Thanks for the welcome 😊. Feeling like utter crap but the anxiety/hangxiety is a fair bit better then yesterday where I was completly spinning out internally.

@REP22

Thank you , I apprecaite this thread beyond and it has helped me many times before in the past, had a different username then. I am a sweating mess but one day at a time and doing online Smart recovery meeting this evening. I need to throw the kitchen sink at it this time, i really do. I am determined but of course taking one day, one hour at a time.

Oh, bless you @Becky37 , I'm sorry you've got the sweats and other grimness. It will get better, honest. That's good that you've got a meeting tonight. I did SMART recovery, I found it really helpful. It will be alright soon. xx

I don't know if I had a bad cold when I stopped, or if it was withdrawal, but I felt fluey for over a week. You just have to roll with it, but be kind to yourself as much as you can, and try to make things as easy as possible. It's miserable, but the endgame is so worth it. If you aren't working and have nobody to look after, just do what you want when you want to do it. If you are working, treat being at home like you're on holiday. Takeaways, ready meals, whatever you like, just to get through it. I drank hot chocolate, as I wasn't hungry at first, and knew the milk would be nutritious and the chocolate would keep my sugar levels going. And rice pudding. As time goes by (towards a week or so) you'll probably get your appetite back, and after that it's downhill as far as feeling grotty goes.

Keep on keeping on. It's worth it in the end.

Evening all. Well done on Day 16 @CarrotSeeds and welcome @Becky37 .

Amazing run @Onewildandpreciouslife . yesterday morning's.weatjer was grim so it is an extra amazing achievements.

I'm having some health anxiety at the moemt. Think it is because work is stressful and I am burning the candle.at.both ends so not sleeping very well.

No booze though and approaching 5 months. I can hardly believe it!

Thanks @REP22 for keeping the boat so steady..I am not posting as often anymore but I do read every day and I am so grateful to.you @ShyMaryEllen , @WendyWagon , @ponzusoup , @Itsrainingten and all others for being there for us.

Morning all. I am feeling much better.
A brilliant result @EastCoastDamsel nearly half a year.

Very excited yesterday re the WL jabs and the results around inflammatory conditions. The fact you don't fancy booze is a plus too especially with the party season ever closer.

I've just received a beautiful pink tweed jacket. I am so chuffed it fits me. It's two sizes smaller and from a normal range. I shall wear it with jeans and boots.
I need to get fleebaying my stuff. I have far too much! 😄

I heard in interesting story from one of my business associates yesterday. One of the Highland spirit manufacturers is expanding their AF offering. It's the new thing apparently. They had leased a factory to someone else and now wanted it back due to demand.

Checking in, feeling less insane and doom moungering. I will not drink today 👊