The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Autumn 2024

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @Drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023, where @WendyWagon (our most recent ship’s captain) and the others made me feel so welcome. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

So sorry for everyone struggling with loss (and imminent loss).

My first husband died of lung cancer. He was a life long heavy smoker and also struggled with alcohol and substance abuse. Even though we had divorced and both remarried, it was still heartbreaking, especially for our children.

I'm sorry to hear that @CarrotSeeds, it must have been desperately grim. 💐x

@Kimbo180 I hope you start to feel less rubbish soon. I am on Day #9 now I think, and had horrid headaches from about days 3-6. I had recently had Covid so it was possibly that but more likely a response to giving up alcohol. The good news is I feel so much better physically already. ❤️

@ShyMaryEllen I did try a glass of alcohol free Freixenet yesterday and it was quite pleasant. It didn't taste like wine but I had it in a champagne glass while the others had Cava and it felt just as nice.

Today I began to make a list of all the positives of not drinking and the negatives. Unsurprisingly, the positives list was huge and the negatives very short. I'm finding listening to podcasts especially useful, especially those about emotional sobriety. Also spending time with our beautiful grandchild who is so innocent and only knows granny as someone who loves and plays with her, not as someone who struggles with addiction. 😞

Oh and thank you @REP22 ❤️

big welcome to newbies to the thread it's a great place to check in, sound off, get support and advice and generally hang out with people who know what you're going through.

i will be six months sober at the end of october and still can't quite believe it as i crawled on here after puking in my bed and making an utter twat of myself for the millionth time in my life. first few days shame got me through , but then i discovered sober podcasts and books and the wisdom of the ladies on here.

my mental health / relationships / self esteem are all so much better and staying sober has got easier every week. i've still had mega life challenges going on but have felt stronger and more able to deal with them sober ...

i'm not saying i've had no urges to drink but to be honest they've been much milder than i thought. i now drink a lot of kombucha and tea!

condolences to all those who have lost relatives and are living with nearest and dearest with terminal illnesses. know that drinking will not make any of it any better.

the last thing ill say for now is how much more balanced and clear my brain feels. give. how much alcohol screws up your brain chemistry do that you end up only getting a sense of reward from alcohol, i am now , six months sober , finally taking pleasure in small every day things - colours in nature, listening
to a favourite song, reading, a nice coffee or meal. when i was drinking i only really got pleasure from drinking and i can see how obsessed i was with when the next drink was. it is so worth it ladies to keep up with your sober journey , promise!

love and compassion to all of you xx

I am so sorry for the multiple cancer issues in your family @Kimbo180 - sending you all the love and strength that I can. Look after yourself as well - family members of the ones suffering can sometimes be unintentionally 'overlooked' as everyone rallies around. Stay safe and take care of yourself. We're all rooting for you. 💐💐

Like @CarrotSeeds and @ponzusoup have said, I am also trying to keep in mind the positives, little and great, about not having a drink. This morning I am grateful for sober sleep and a clear mind. They're tiny things really, but I am very thankful for them.

Love and strength to you all. Keep going. It will be alright. xx

@REP22 well said. the clear headed mornings are the gift that keeps on giving.

Morning all.
Late today as I had to get up multiple times last night.
The house is full of people so I'm hiding. I like a bit of peace.
No luck on the hat yesterday.
It's the dogs birthday. My NC sister's also. I feel guilty for not sending a card but she's said and done some pretty awful things over the last few years. It plays on my mind because my elder brother is nearly a decade older than me.

Happy birthday to @WendyWagon DDog. Sorry if memories of your Sis are resurfacing and disturbing your peace. You deserve a lot better. I am a hider myself, I prefer peace and quiet and cool air. Hopefully you will soon find a hat that will exceed all fabulousness. ❤️ x

Ah Rep, dog Wendy says thank you very much!
He's sulking at the moment.
I'm off for a lunch next week so I'll try then for the hat in a certain posh city.

Got tru day 3 dragged meself oit of the bed but im glad i did.but kept myself busy doing college work I decided to go back I was gonna take a week off but no point moping around the house.
Glad all is well with everyone in the group.
Sending hugs to all

Morning all, just popping in to say hi.

I'll read through the thread and see how everyone is.

Sorry to hear about your sister, @WendyWagon

Even when our siblings are very difficulty and even damaging, it plays on your mind sometimes xx

Morning all.

Crazy busy here. Well done one day 3 @Kimbo180

Morning all.
One tea down.
Jabs this morning.

The DH has decided he had covid recently (thanks for that with my weakened immune system). Someone was looking after me.

My old boss from the dodgy company of last year contacted me. Turns out the psychopath colleague that threatened me did steal all the cash. The stuff of novels.

Looking forward to less cooking this weekend. The DS will be away.

well done @Kimbo180 keep going one day at a time

@NextPhaseOfLife how you doing? nice to catch a glimpse of you! you must also be heading to the 6 month sober milestone with me?

@WendyWagon hope you're ok and happy belated birthday to DDog. i also have an NC sister it's very tough. family eh? mines the reason i started abusing alcohol all those years ago.

love and compassion to all.

@REP22 another hider here but find impulse to hide is lessening with sobriety

Blimey @WendyWagon, that's worthy of an end-of-Eastenders drum beat, surely?! I have zero sympathy for your old boss though. They should have defended you to the hilt and supported you. Now they are reaping the consequences of their ineffective mediocrity.

Strength and love to you all. x

Morning everyone. Day #12 here for me and feeling happy. I've started a new Pilates course, am making plans with friends that don't involve alcohol and have been honest with one friend about my drinking and my reasons for giving up. She was very supportive and lovely. It felt good (and a bit scary) to say out loud for the first time that I struggle with alcohol.

I've been listening to lots of podcasts and YouTube videos about sobriety and this lady, Veronica Valli, has said loads of stuff that really hit home with me. I don't know whether it's okay to share a YouTube video of hers which I watched this morning? Pretty basic stuff to all you long timers but maybe useful to other newbies like me, or to anyone who comes across this thread and is toying with the idea of giving sobriety a try 😊

@CarrotSeeds any links are helpful I think.
Thank you so much @REP22 and @ponzusoup re the toxic sister and colleague.
I have made my peace with the events of last year and don't expect to see a penny outside of the government compensation scheme. That can take a good year. The shenanigans are off the scale with that company. Muggings (said to have been arranged to frighten us), money laundering, female abuse, a threat to kill. Just nuts and all in a female luxury goods industry. I had never seen the like.
Jilly Cooper has nowt on me. I could munsnetty clutch my pearls.

I'm jabbed up for the winter. Hoorah.
I'm happy to be sitting on my bum this afternoon. DD has walked the dog and the DS is cooking.
@NextPhaseOfLife hello.

Bl~~dy hell @WendyWagon. I am so, so glad you are out of that toxic mess. I have worked with some batsh~t people in my time, but that's off the scale. You absolutely must write a book one day. Those people sound like they belong in jail. Definitely Jilly Cooper territory. Or Jackie Collins.

Glad your jabs are sorted. I've got mine on Saturday morning. Just before the party that I have to go to. Off out to get my hair cut 'n' coloured later. That was Sid's birthday present to me, a voucher for the salon. Then I shall be making some carrot and coriander soup (new Slimming World recipe) before Ludwig tonight.

Look after your fabulous self.

@CarrotSeeds thank you for veronica calling link i listened on my dog walk - really rang bells! will listen to more

veronica valli rather - scuse typo

@WendyWagon echoing @REP22 about the dramarama of your previous work culture - how crazy! hope you have healed from it - writing a book or a TV script is a great idea!

@ponzusoup - I am indeed, 6 month twinny!

It's all going well here. Still no plans or urges to get back into the booze.

I'm just about to start Mounjaro to lose the rest of the physical weight that's weighing me down - I think I'd have struggled to do that whilst still drinking, so I'm looking forward to seeing what benefits that brings.

How are you?