Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

@TimesaChangeling i like a beach theme so shell shaped tiles and seagulls 🏖️

Thanks for the warm welcome, I’m replacing wine and beer with fig rolls at the moment. A bit left field and not the most popular choice, but I’m addicted to them. Better think drink I figure!

Yep a narcissist survivor club sounds good, I’m finding out that there are a lot of them and a lot of us (survivors) out there. They should definitely come with a health warning.

Hope everyone’s had a good evening. I’m off for a fig roll before bed ☺️

@AFmammaG I did distract, distract, distract. Wasn't too difficult, just came as a little surprise. It did pass quite quickly as well. Let's hope it doesn't get worse.

@AmberExpert I do hope the biscuits you intended on bringing were not fig rolls. Don't know if they count as biscuits? Are they like jaffa cakes and up for debate? I do like jaffa cakes. And bourbons. And something I haven't had for YEARS you know those chocolate digestives with the caramel?
Excuse me, I'm just going to slide out of bed and grab some biscuits.

Also, watching Brassic on netflix. Hilarious, really pleased I'm sober enough to enjoy it.

I shall add it to the list!
I have been at the chocolate hobnobs today. And the buttons. It’s been a disaster zone really.

@CoffeeLover90 well done for getting through the craving. Not nice when it's unexpected but glad it didn't last long.
Welcome @AmberExpert i'm new to posting but have been lurking a while. It's great that you're taking control. I'm sure we have all turned to drink through difficult times at some point in our lives, and it sounds like things have been tough. I let the drinking go on for years but am attempting to get a handle on it now.
@TimesaChangeling i hope you at least enjoyed the biscuits and chocolate buttons, sometimes it's what you need. I'm only on day 3 of no wine and my app says i've saved the equivalent calories of 5 bars of chocolate so a few biscuits can't be that bad.
@AFmammaG so glad you're friend replied, i hope you have a great time.
Transferred another £5 to my savings for an alcohol free day and now off to bed!

Thanks @mumsy2015, I did lose someone I classed as a very good friend one dry January, turned out we were only good friends when I was buying 😔

So yes, I’m out tonight eating a meal I didn’t cook. I will need to get some steps in after work to make up for it! Yesterday I did 17,000 steps and consequently slept like a log. Would like a repeat of that if possible.

Hopefully the wine witch won’t rear her head but I’ll take my vape which can be a decent distraction and helps to feel like I’m getting a fix of something! Sending everyone else good vibes for today. Keep building up that wall!

Morning all
love that @AFmammaG good for you!! And good luck for tonight you can do this!! 💪🏻
will be packing for my first sober holiday in years!! 😨 arghhh scary thought but will be a massive win for me!! Sleep is finally improving did buy some magnesium supplements so that may of helped so hoping more for a rest than anything. Hope all is good with everyone 😊

Hey ladies,

I ate so much ice cream and biscuits yesterday, the sugar cravings were unreal. But don't worry @AmberExpert , your fig rolls are safe!

@Chance21 have you got a plan for your sober holiday? Will be lovely to get away!

Well done @CoffeeLover90 for riding out those cravings. I've found that just stopping for a moment and saying to myself: what is this craving REALLY about? Is usually helpful. And having a soft drink. So often it's just thirst, or an uncomfortable feeling.

Pleased about your friend @AFmammaG I hope you have a nice night out!

Exciting about your bathroom @TimesaChangeling
I just long for a bathroom where the toilet is flushed; no wee on the seats; the empty loo roll is replaced; towels are hung up; toothpaste crud isn't crusted all around the sink ....Ahh, life with kids!!!!

It's raining badly here. I'll still walk almost 2 miles for school runs but doing the rest walking up and down the stairs. With my weights. Which are 2kg not 3kg.
I would have liked to have weighed myself but I am unable to find my scales. I don't remember throwing them out and I don't understand how it's even possible to lose such an item.
FFS
I had 3 bourbons in bed. I can combat cravings for wine (so far) but the food, well food is fuel isn't it? Oh dear.

No plan at all @Steppered its all inclusive complex probably my worst nightmare 😨 but going with partner and he doesn’t encourage me to drink so no pressure there. Going to Marrakesh being a Muslim country would hope alcohol is not in sight much will try and get out of the hotel for most of it got one early start planned on the Sunday for sun rise. I know all about the sugar cravings!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ when will they stop!! Be going to the dentist soon 😂😂 how are you getting on? You’re doing amazing!! Keep it up 😊

Oh @mumsy2015 I meant to say I really like your idea of alcohol savings so I'm going to do that too - thanks.

@CoffeeLover90 I'm on 6 ginger snaps today already and I know I'm not even done. Argh.

@Chance21 wow Marrakesh will be amazing, I'm very jealous. All inclusive will definitely give you some temptations I'm sure. But the mint teas will be delicious!

I'm having a really weird couple of days. I feel really flat and I don't know why. (I think this is the trouble, I am emotionally stunted and I just don't know myself). I think it might be the kids going back to school. Also ... removing my wine anaesthetic means that I'm having more emotional flashbacks, weird dreams, feelings I just can't quite put my finger on... I just feel really like I want to withdraw and shutdown.
I think this is where my addict head wants me though, it wants me alone and vulnerable so it can justify a craving.

And I say NO. I am not drinking or even craving. I'm going to take my journal and write. I'm going to message a friend. I'm going to write at you lovely ladies x

I get that feeling quite periodically @Steppered. I think emotionally I am quite volatile (not in a shouty way, despite what I say about rage) but I can swing between highs and lows much more than I think others do and I wonder if this is relatively common amongst problem drinkers.

I am working quite hard at the moment at building comfort at home and forcing myself into the moment, my head tends to catch up eventually and it works. Just small things that might lift you (I saw somewhere else this being called a dopamine menu which I really liked!).

Ahh bless ya… I know these emotions are really fucking real!! I understand everything your saying I get them I’ve been here before I know what to expect and we have to find ways of overcoming them like going for a walk, therapy talking to a close friend etc alcohol was mainly escapism for me and now I don’t have that I’ve got to find other ways to work round stuff.
sometimes I almost think I’ve stopped drinking I should feel amazing but the thing is that’s not the reality and some days will be shit regardless!! But I can manage the shit better without the hangover anxiety depression that alcohol made me feel. Good for you and we are always here, yes will be tempting this weekend but I really want to do this for me i hope the food is good 😂😂

I find these threads therapeutic, I would hate face to face group therapy but sharing thoughts, feelings, experiences with others who actually understand, with no judgement, it's helped more than I thought it would. Even if it's a meaningless conversation on every day life, just knowing people like me are out there, means I feel less alone. I think why one of the first things I do when I feel a craving is to comment on here.

Thank you so much @TimesaChangeling , @Chance21 & @CoffeeLover90
Sorry you feel like this too sometimes. At least we have safety in numbers (and biscuits). I guess one doesn't get to the alcohol support threads without a hefty dose of trauma, adversity, difficult emotions and maladaptive coping mechanisms ......... no wonder we understand each other so well x

Hello all and welcome to everyone who has joined. Congratulations to those who have managed a sober month, a sober holiday, a sober night out, a sober dance floor (not tackled that one yet!) and to those who have managed sober days when they would normally have had alcohol, even if it’s just a few days for now. You are all doing great.

I recently ticked off my 1 year sober, so feeling very proud. But I now need to tackle the chocolate and non-alcohol drinks I have replaced wine with. So day 1 on sober healthy eating!

Thank you @BoilingHotand50something and a massive well done on one year!! That’s amazing you should feel proud can I ask when you get the time would be great to hear about all the benefits you’ve experienced since being AF.

Obviously not the sugar addiction 😂 good for you!! I’ll need some tips on that soon 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think the main benefit is sleep (more of it and better quality and no 3am demons) and headspace! I think I was spending a lot of time thinking about - will I have a drink tonight, will I have another drink, how much more shall I have, where can I stop for wine, am I ok to drive, how can I get a lift so I can drink etc etc. Not having to think about it any more is incredibly freeing.

I think my skin is better and I am less bloated. My red nose has gone and my blood pressure is lower. I am a stone lighter (despite the chocolate - still lots to lose) and I am incredibly smug amongst drinkers! I have more patience with the kids and am more productive.

What I had hoped for which hasn’t materialised is losing more weight, having lots of energy and getting fit! So that is my challenge moving forward.

Congratulations on a year @BoilingHotand50something that's an amazing achievement.
I've had a rough evening with the kids and feeling really sad and frustrated. Nothing really to add to the thread today but just wanted to check in as i've promised myself i will. Day 4 done and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Huge congratulations @BoilingHotand50something on a year. I hear the word freeing on here a lot, I’m looking forward to experiencing that.

I’d like to let off some steam if I may. Spent all day thinking about drinking tonight, I thought I was largely over that but apparently not. Then after I ordered my AF drink, my friend ordered a beer. I didn’t question her, I guess she either forgot she had said she wasn’t drinking or changed her mind… which should be fine and obviously I acted like it was but inside I was angry. I suppose I had imagined I’d tell her a little bit about why I wasn’t drinking and find out why she wasn’t - instead we didn’t mention it.
Then the restaurant didn’t have the pudding I wanted.
Was feeling a bit annoyed? Upset? Frustrated? On the way home. Just got in and DH is polishing off a bottle of red. The rage is back. It is irrational. I’m doing something “good”. I’m doing something to improve my life. Why does it leave me feeling so deprived?
Heading to bed in a bit of a sulk, which I know I’ll be over in the morning but hopefully it will help to get it all out here (as @mumsy2015 said).

I’ve just ticked day 39 off my dry app. That has made me feel a bit better. Night all.

Congratulations @BoilingHotand50something on your year - that’s a great achievement.

@AFmammaG totally understand the feelings you mention; hope you feel better in the morning - and sure you’ll be pleased your didn’t drink.

I’m 22 days today (minus the 1 day wedding drinks) which is a good chunk of time to have under my belt. Feeling strong at the moment that I want to keep going so just hoping that feeling continues!

Morning all
thanks for that @BoilingHotand50something sleep is really my biggest concern so that’s great!! Looking forward to all those benefits 😊 same as @AFmammaG said freeing!! And that is the best gift we can give ourselves.
I know how you feel about the anger/rage I’ll be feeling it over the weekend when partner will be enjoying cocktails and I’m on soda and lime 🤦🏻‍♀️ but he will wake up feeling terrible so I will get him back the next morning 😂😂
it’s tough I know we just have to play the tape forward after the craving has gone we know we made the right choice no one ever woke up and said I wished I’d drunk last night!! You’re doing amazing 39 days!! 😊 hope everyone has a great weekend off to the airport soon wish me luck gold stars all round!!