Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Welcome @seasaltandsand let’s do sober September 👍🏻😊 friendly bunch here full of support advice and encouragement!! Let us know how you get on with it. @CoffeeLover90 aw don’t be so hard on yourself you’ve done amazing small steps are definitely better than none I gave up smoking last year and I never thought I would have it was easier than the booze clearly!! It’s tough. And even now I’m going to the gym and making better choices but my sugar intake is off the scale for me but I’d rather the sugar than a hangover so I’ll concentrate on that further along. But you’re all doing amazing making better choices it’s great to read and be a part off 😊

@CoffeeLover90 rolled behind the curtain?
You are of course far too kind. I have been on this thread for a year now and I’d like to think I have learnt a few things. The most important one is to be selfish and prioritise what I want. I’ve stopped silently seething or making excuses. It’s about me but in a good way.

Welcome @seasaltandsand! It’s really nice to have some new faces keeping the thread moving. It really is a great place to chat and rant and celebrate. I love it’s not a completely dry thread because before I joined this one I did try a couple of others but as soon as I had a slip I quietly disappeared as I felt that was expected. Here we are all doing our own thing with a common goal, reduce our alcohol intake.

Yesterday there were cakes in the office for first day back and despite lots of encouragement (!) I managed to resist. No one commented on how fabulous I look though 😂

Oh and a friend asked to meet for dinner this week and the first thing I replied was that I’d love to but wouldn’t be drinking, making the excuse of first week back at work etc. normally that would be my excuse to drink! Not anymore. She hasn’t replied yet. That used to bother me. Like why aren’t I good enough sober to meet with but now I realise it’s about them and their need to drink not about me and my sober company.

Morning all and welcome @seasaltandsand ( and anyone else new who I have missed).

Quick check in from me while I’m on the tube to work. I have discovered AF cider (Thatchers zero) and it really hit the spot over the weekend when I fancied a glass of something cold from the fridge! I find most AF drinks too sweet or medicinal so tend to stick to water but the cider is great.

Work is often a trigger for my drinking - I have a stressful day snd feel I deserve wine. But determined not to drink this week - it is, after all, only me that suffers if I do and work is even more stressful the next day when I haven’t slept and feel crap!

i understand that feeling of not being good enough to hang out with when sober but it’s 💯 on the other person we make them uncomfortable and they probably think we are boring like I would find them irritating. I am happy to loose certain friends if they expect me to keep drinking with them a lot of bonds were built on alcohol so take that away probably have nothing in common.
Good for you @Limeandsoda2023 your right drinking won’t take away tomorrow’s problems you can do this 💪🏻😊

When my weights go missing, it's always something to do with the kids. (It shows how lightweight my dumbells are haha!)

Welcome @seasaltandsand & @mumsy2015
Good to have you here. I've tried to moderate for years which has culminated it some horrendous benders as a "reward" for cutting back on my drinking. I've had a couple of dreadful blackouts in dangerous situations this year and I just can't do it any more so I have to quit permanently. It's hard. But we lean in and keep trying.

I like atomic habits @mumsy2015
Could I just ask you about the medication? Because I have to take thyroid medication too and in the past 15 years I have definitely gone through weird spells of refusing to take it. Now I think it's self-sabotage but just wondered if you (or anyone) had a similar experience with a long-term medication?

Hope you're ok @CoffeeLover90 & @Chance21
@AFmammaG hopefully you friend hasn't replied for another reason. It's hard to know sometimes whether to drop the AF bomb beforehand or when you rock up! I'm with a friend Friday night and haven't told her yet - but I have to tell her I'm quitting to continue with my accountability and not suffering in silence.

For now I’m telling everyone I’m taking 100 days off and then when I’m more comfortable with where I am I will just simply say I’m feeling so great I’m carrying it on and that will be the end!! Hopefully I’ll be feeling good and looking good so that will be my ace card to back it up and be like actually no I’m giving up alcohol for my health and well being for anyone that can’t accept that I don’t think I would want to hang out with them one way to find out who your true friends are I guess 😊

@Steppered yeah I wouldn’t normally say anything but feel a bit wobbly with being back at work and wanted to manage expectations (hers and mine).

Had a huge headache at work today. Like pounding. Had some cake, shockingly it didn’t make me feel better. Then had 4 chocolate biscuits 😔 home now and on the treadmill cursing myself!

Day 2 as good as done. It hasn't been too bad but i have a horrible cold so the thought of bed is more appealing than wine today anyway. @Steppered the medication thing is an odd one. On one hand i do wonder if it is deliberate self neglect. Like i'm just not important enough to make taking it a priority. If my kids needed daily medication there's no way i'd forget to give it to them whereas i forget my own quite frequently. On the other hand maybe i'm just so rubbish because of how much i've been drinking. I don't really know for sure.
What i do know though is every area of my life is a bit rubbish- it feels overwhelming at times. I'm hoping these tiny changes will just make everything a bit better. And not drinking will help me feel strong enough to make bigger changes in future.
And combine that with actually getting my thyroid on an even keel maybe i'll be a new woman 😆

Sorry today's been rough @AFmammaG. I personally think stopping at 4 biscuits is a win! You've been on the treadmill so haven't let a hard day beat you, you can be proud of that.

@mumsy2015 a bit time off drink may help you see things differently, I believed my life was in the shit but with a clear head I realised some of it was not as shit as I'd thought.
Can you set an alarm on your phone to remind you of medication?

I'm on another day 2, this day 2 is a lot easier than all the previous ones (and that's a lot) I think now I know I've done a month, a week or 2 is nothing. And I'm bored of every night/every other night.
I did eat a pasty and a large bar of chocolate but I walked another 3 miles... to Greggs and back.

The curious case of the missing weights continues... no way can I blame DS this time. He always snitches on himself.

Off to bed. Sinus pain has started. Hope I’m not coming down with something else 😭

Onto day 4 and feeling really good about being AF. I got a msg through to collect an order from Sainsbury's and usually the background thought would turn to also picking up a covert bottle of wine (or 2).

Today the idea of wine is completely unappealing (hope that lasts) so I've struck whilst the irons hot and already declared it a drink free day on my tracker as I know I would be loathed to have change that, even if it is just me that sees it right now.

@Steppered going back to your point on long term medications, I take maintenance medications and have struggled to consistently take before. More recently after becoming unwell and flaring I have decided to set my alarm 10 mins earlier, kettle on - sofa to myself and some breathing space before the day begins and the rest of the house (eventually) gets up. I absolutely love that 10 + mins to myself to think, centre ahead of the day and make a point of taking the meds.

@Chance21 that sounds like a good plan.
Hope you're feeling better today @AFmammaG
@CoffeeLover90 I do agree that taking a break from alcohol, especially a few weeks, does make it "easier" to take another break. You kind of know what to expect; you know that you can do it; you understand triggers better and learning to put more in place to help. You've got this. Hope those weights turn up - so weird!

Well done on day 4 @seasaltandsand , what you and @mumsy2015 say about being consistent taking long term medication and "not being important enough to be a priority" really rings true to me. This year I have been really strict with myself about taking them. I think there is a lot of shame and self-sabotage tied up with alcohol ... I don't fully understand the patterns but there's something there.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

The curious case of the missing weights... they were at the back of the wardrobe! Pretty sure I'd already looked there but mystery solved!

Hi everyone, just found your thread by chance and wondered if I could join you please? I can bring cake and biscuits if it helps!

19 days AF today......not quite sure how I've managed it, but here I am.

Had a horrible break up in May and have been drinking too regularly (and too often) on occasions so really trying to take back some control.

Just on my lunch break at work but will read the thread and catch up tonight. ❤️

Hey @AmberExpert sorry to hear about your break up hope you’re doing ok I found them extremely hard especially because mine were very toxic.
you’re doing the right thing by not drinking especially with all your emotions will be running wild!! Well done on 19 days!! Hope you’re having some positive benefits.
i am a binge drinker and im trying to cut alcohol out of my life completely but every one is different on here so lots of support and encouragement or even just to let of some steam!! 😊

Thanks @Chance21 mine was toxic too, realising now I was living with a narcissist....but onwards and upwards eh?

I've no off button and struggle to moderate so thought a period of time without alcohol was going to be easier (who am I kidding) than trying to moderate. AF beer is helping though, and I'm determined to go for a bit longer and make it a month.

Thanks for the welcome x

@AmberExpert welcome! I like cake and biscuits. Really good that you've recognised it early and already made great progress. Makes me wish for that time machine again...
Think we should rename this to narcissist survivors unite? So many of the bloody twats about. This is why I'm single and stick with cats, although they are arses at times they are at least very cute and fluffy.

Welcome @AmberExpert and cheers for the cake and biscuits! Sorry to hear what you have been through x

I'm craving a bit. Just wanted to write that down. Little one back to school went well, managed to get house cleaned, a lot of washing done and I'm off the rest of the week. I'd usually celebrate these things with wine and a film. BUT cravings aren't too strong and it's still a school night. Just a bit of a shift from the last 2 nights where I really didn't want any at all.

I can bring cake and biscuits if it helps!
You are in @AmberExpert 😆

Glad you found the weights @CoffeeLover90 that would have driven me bonkers!
I’m feeling a bit better today. Don’t know what was up yesterday, maybe my body went into shock returning to work 😆
Good news, my friend still wants to meet tomorrow and she isn’t drinking either so feeling relieved that a. I told her b. She still wants to meet and c. I won’t have to watch her enjoying wine with the meal.

@CoffeeLover90 distract, distract, distract! Read your message a bit late but hope you got through those tricky moments.

I am deffo back to binging the sweet stuff! My new (still to be made) goal is protein backed oats. This way I can convince myself there is some health benefit 🤣

Break ups are murder on alcohol consumption. There’s so much silence to fill initially. That silence is now bliss, by the way. I hope you’re coming through it okay @AmberExpert

I am in mega house mode and getting various things done that have needed to be fixed for ages. I don’t suppose anyone would care to tell me what colour scheme I should go for with the bathroom…