Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Haha that made me laugh @CoffeeLover90 sounds like fucking hell! 😂 how did you manage it 🤦🏻‍♀️ can imagine the speech bubble above your head. Well done though, yeah my partner was like you need to understand they’ve only ever known you to be drunk at these things so he was sort of seeing it from their perspective. But I definitely wouldn’t question it if it had been them not drinking I was always to interested in getting shit faced to worry about others. Any how onwards and upwards sober September let’s do this 👍🏻😊

Last post meant for @AFmammaG think the lack of sleep setting in!! 😂

As I get older I find eye contact more difficult… not sure why, it just makes me uncomfortable. Imagine the intensity of sober dancing in a club with drunk friends. Totally out of my comfort zone 🤣 not in any rush to repeat but glad I went @Chance21

That is exactly how I felt yesterday!! If it was sunny I could have hid behind my shades but it was like a winters day!! Very un comfortable and just the thought all eyes was on me clearly not just stupid thought process, and pushy so called friends that I could have done without 😒

I'm going to be honest with you all now. This date is significantly hard for me and I've usually done one of two things drowned my sorrows and had a good cry or gathered close friends, had a few drinks and a lot of laughs. The only exception had been when I was pregnant and when DS was tiny. I didn't enjoy either, I felt pent up with emotions. Like a dam ready to burst.
I'm pleased I managed a whole month dry. I don't feel like I'd be undoing that by leaning on my friends and some drinks tonight. I don't know if moderation is for me yet. That's a problem for tomorrow, I won't be worrying about it today. It could be I get out my system, crack on being AF for an undermined amount of time or be craving by 7pm Monday.
But what will not happen- I will not be drinking 3-7 times a week. That's not happening again.
DS back to school Wednesday- how stupid- and we'll get another outing in before then too.
From tomorrow I'm going to weigh myself, dig out the tape measure and see how I progress with no takeaways and the lack of 7 bottles in a week.
I'll also be sure to move more. Use the weights whenever I have time. Concentrate on passing that driving test. Using some of the money saved on some kind of magic facial to fix the monstrosity that is my skin. I'm not as far ahead as I planned to be by the time the holidays ended but I'll get there.

You’ve done amazing @CoffeeLover90 only you know how you feel and how you’ll move forward from your dry month!!
take it from me though I really wish I had 30 days under my belt because I know the benefits which will start to come. You have to do what’s right for you either way you’ve taken a break and had a re-set from alcohol which is never a bad thing.
moderation to me is like breaking up with an ex and then sleeping with him at the weekend it’s toxic and just doesn’t work before you know it your back there at the beginning but others may be able to achieve it. I wish I could but I’ve found even the smallest amount of alcohol will affect my mood the next day/days it’s almost like the chemicals inside me have changed since turning 40 I wonder if other people feel the same maybe it’s a thing or part of the menopause I did read women in there 40s are more prone to black outs who knows

@CoffeeLover90 sorry to hear about the date and that you’ll be having a hard time today. Absolutely do whatever you need to get through it. We are here for you. You have that month under your belt and no one can take it away from you.

Starting again, I'm on day seven, going to take it bit by bit. My aim is to go till the end of October totally alcohol free. I haven't gone longer than four days without alcohol in about eight years.

I'll be with you in October!

I appreciate the understanding about my day off today. I didn't want to keep it a secret or anything. I'm not rushing around to get tea, bath and bed out of the way like I used to. I feel quite numb about it, not sure if I'm describing it right, sort of unbothered while at the same time looking forward to a laugh and relaxing. I've got it in mind that I may be playing with fire, I wouldn't have thought twice before.
What I'm really looking forward to is the burger. I'll definitely get a burger.

I hope today passes quickly and as painlessly as possible @CoffeeLover90. I’m just as guilty of resorting to alcohol for bad reasons, never really good, I want to have fun, reasons.

Hello @greenose. it was about this time last year I went on a protracted break and somehow made it through til Christmas, it’s definitely doable and the nice thing about September / October is that it comes with that sense of cosy (I know I know, some people will shoot me) hunkering down that lends itself nicely to hot drinks and not going out.

That said, it’s currently 27 bloody degrees so not quite there yet.

@CoffeeLover90 sorry to hear this date is so hard for you. Hope you are doing ok.

Ooh lots to catch up on after my holiday. Well done @AFmammaG on the month and the night out - sounds tough! Also @CoffeeLover90 on your month and I hope you are okay. And @Chance21 you're so right about it being a bad ex - a bad relationship - great analogy.

Monday monday and back into school, work and routines this week. How are we all feeling? Anyone got anything on this week that's a challenge? Plans for September?

So, I made it through my holiday sober. Massive win - I've never had a sober holiday! Was it a bit quieter than other holidays - probably, yes. Did I have a lovely holiday - yes. Did I find it hard - at a general level, no, but I had 2 big meltdowns about not being able to drink, both times I cried and it lasted about half an hour and then I was okay. I sat with those hard feelings. I hated it, but I did it. And looking around, tons of people not drinking. I didn't see anyone drunk. I thought about alcohol a LOT but I do find especially in these early days that it's omnipresent. I read something that said :

Sobriety is 10% not drinking alcohol and 90% emotional sobriety.

And it feels so true.

So happy for you @Steppered well done you should feel soo proud!! Must have been tough at times!! I’m going on holiday Friday myself so will probably have a meltdown at some point and unfortunately alcohol will be at the forefront of my mind but i will get through it. Last couple of holidays were so boozey it made me really unwell so looking forward to having a holiday glow this time round and feeling refreshed instead of depressed.
sober September for me bring it on!! 💪🏻

I hope you don't mind me joining you for September. I have been following for quite a while (posted a couple of times previously but went back to lurking when i couldn't string together any AF days). I've been drinking a bottle of wine a day (sometimes more) and i really need to sort myself out.
I've just finished reading Atomic Habits and am determined to be a fit and healthy person who has energy and enthusiasm for life. So the habits i am going to start are: Taking my thyroid medication and vitamins every day (by keeping them on my bedside table with a glass of water and taking them as soon as my alarm goes off), drinking a glass of water everytime i eat, meditating when i have my first cup of coffee of the day, and doing a youtube workout 3 times a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6.15 in my living room). The bad habit i want to break is drinking alcohol- the plan for this is to not have any wine in the house, using a quit drinking app to track, transferring £5 every day i don't drink into a savings account to spend on a spa day/ massage and actually posting here to make myself accountable.
I'm really hoping the techniques in the book work for me and i can make some real changes.

@mumsy2015 sounds like a great plan, don't think you can't post if you're struggling, we're not all AF angels.
On that note- last night was great until friends left. I didn't feel like drinking alone, I went to bed. Which is good considering 99% of the time I drink alone and it doesn't bother me.
My favourite part was the burger.
I've got a busy week ahead so this weekend I'm planning on taking DS out for a couple of hours, shopping, housework and I have a driving lesson. I've already told myself there's no space for a drink in there.
I've kind of cracked the not reaching for the wine every night so I'm moving onto diet and exercise.
Then I'll move onto not smoking.
Just one step at a time because when I try everything at once I always fail.

Welcome @mumsy2015 i am doing sober September if you want to join me, I’ve never been an everyday drinker retired ex binge party girl here!! Binge or no binge the alcohol just doesn’t agree with me at any level these days. Sounds like you’ve already made some solid plans how did you find that book? I’m only about quarter way through it atm. Good luck with your goals as @CoffeeLover90 said feel free to post some drink some don’t what ever stage it’s just nice to have people who understand. And that’s great you had a good night with friends but didn’t carry on after that’s a stepping stone! I’m sorry you had a tough day yesterday hope you’re feeling better today sounds like you’ve got some great goals in place there they are all achievable 👍🏻😊

3 miles walk complete today.
To reach 100 km this month I need to average 2.06 miles per day. No walk yesterday.
Family and close friends pledged a total of £117
This is more for exercise and focus. It's achievable though, I walk a total of 2.5 miles each day for the school run!
Not keeping a daily track, I'll either add it up at the end of the week or give a total at the end of the month.
I also had crisps for lunch while day dreaming of last nights burger. So the diets going great.
FYI I lost my weights. How does one lose hand weights? If you were a pink set of (if I remember rightly) 3kg dumb bells where would you be?

@CoffeeLover90 has your DC moved the weights? Mine love ‘playing’ with mine.

Great to read all the positive posts. Well done @Steppered on the sober holiday. Glad you enjoyed it without the alcohol. That must feel great.

Yes, it was back to work and school for us here and I’ll secretly admit to being pleased. I was ready. Had a fab day back, bit of a laugh with my colleagues and then tackled the inbox.

My focus for September is to continue with all the healthy habits I forced in August. Lots of water. Lots of exercise. Lots of fruit. Lots of sleep. Less junk and less negativity. I’ve downloaded a mindfulness app and will follow the breathing exercises and the like. Hope it will keep me feeling a bit more grateful about what I do have in my life!

Oh and welcome back @mumsy2015! I’m not sure I’ll make the whole of September at this point in time as I have a big night out planned on the 14th but for now I’ll take it one day at a time and hope to get another 2 weeks under my belt before then.

@AFmammaG he was my first suspicion. They're not in his usual hiding spots. They're not in my usual hiding spots. The cat cannot lift them, I don't think. The Curious Case Of The Missing Weights...

Rolled under the sofa? How big are they?

Evening all, hoping to join in for a more sober September! I find strength in reading everyone's posts and will aim to try and contribute myself.
I let myself down this last month with various contributing stresses but feeling more motivated to look after myself after feeling in a real funk.
I sort of need to give myself the head space as starting a post grad course in a few weeks and need to focus. Challenges will be aiming for a couple of sober birthdays, including my own, but clocking up some alcohol free mileage will be the best present I can gift myself right now.

Take care and have a great week all

Welcome @seasaltandsand I think finding the motivation and something else to focus on is half the battle!

There is no space for them under the sofa as I'd removed the feet. Same with beds, they're divans.
Where the hell are they 😩
How I'm still on the wagon is beyond me. Weights - gone. Cats - crazy. School holidays - ongoing. Ahhhh
I need brownies.

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. @CoffeeLover90 i think you're right tackling one thing at a time. My priority has to be not drinking and the other things are just tiny habits i want to build. You're doing so well i'm sure the other things will fall into place. @Chance21 i'll definitely join you for a dry September. I liked most of Atomic Habits and can see how it would work- now just to put it into practice. Day 1 almost done, the first step towards building these better habits. I'm going to transfer my first £5 to savings now. @AFmammaG looks like you're already well on your way to a healthier lifestyle. Welcome @seasaltandsand. Here's hoping for a succesful September for all of us.

@mumsy2015 honestly, I think @AFmammaG is better role model than me. She's achieved a month AF while adapting healthy habits.
I'd achieve nothing if I tried to conquer everything at once so I take my hat off to you all who can.
I'm off to bed. It's a fresh day 1 for me, I'm tired and I didn't have the burger I dreamed of.
The curious case of the missing weights continues...