Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Morning all. Just sharing my story from last night. DH gets home and says he’s having a bottle of wine. I felt the twinge. Up until that point I had no intention of drinking on a Thursday evening at home.
I decided not to. It was so hard sitting next to him while he drank but I used the tools I have learnt here. Kept thinking about the hangover tomorrow. Kept reminding myself that starting the weekend on a Thursday was one of the things worrying me. I didn’t drink. I ended up going to bed early. Laid in bed thinking how awful my sleep would be after a bottle. Reminded myself of all the things I have to get done in the morning.
The sleep Gods rewarded my efforts with a good quality sleep and I woke up this morning feeling quite pleased.

Just wanted to share that. Have a great Friday everyone.

Excellent @AFmammaG - you did great!

Thank you @BoilingHotand50something, I actually had a really productive day. Got loads done and treated myself to lunch out, which I enjoyed rather than suffered!

Well done @AFmammaG I can imagine how hard that was. It's been a hectic week with work being so busy and school events, next week is the same. I can't wait for time off at Christmas

Hey everyone
Haven’t posted in a longgggg time but I am currently 247 days sober!!

I’ve had a little read through the thread and can see that this never ending roller coaster of life and attempting sobriety has affected us all in different ways. Sending out a huge hug to every one of you..

Ive come back on because I am feeling very triggered for the first time in months. Christmas.. It is EVERYWHERE. Alcohol has been one of the main parts of Christmas for me for years, pretty sad tbh. I’m feeling FOMO but I don’t know why as I know it won’t enhance it in any way. We always wake up and have champagne on Xmas morning and I drink all day. I think it’s the association of Xmas and alcohol that my brain is struggling to separate. This is a huge test and if I make it through this I think that is it for me. I
am really hoping I can get through this period without breaking my sobriety.

Love to you all x

Oh good luck @Gratitude24, we are rooting for you! You are right, alcohol never enhances anything really.

I’m having this bit of realisation that maybe DH has a problem with alcohol. I always thought he could take it or leave it but after tonight, not so much. We had plans tonight that overran. It was a dry event. We got in at 9.20, put the kids to bed. Whilst doing so I heard him go downstairs and open a bottle of red. He then came back up and finished the kids bedtime.

When we both went down about 9.35 I noticed a large glass was already drank. The wine glass I heard him pour just 15 minutes earlier was empty. He must have downed a glass when he opened the bottle.

I actually thought it was far too late to open a bottle. We normally go to bed around 10.30 on the weekend so he’d have to drink a bottle of wine in an hour. Well not only did he crack one open anyway, he clearly downed the first glass.

There’s so many alarm bells with this behaviour. You know them all. Someone on here asked about him not agreeing with me doing one year no beer and whether it was because he didn’t like me sober. With reflection I think it’s because if I say I have a problem, that also suggests he does, doesn’t it? Because our drinking habits are incredibly similar.

Just mulling that over. Not that it matters because it has to come from within. So I’m dry again tonight. Opening a bottle tonight would have been a mistake. A huge step back. I’m back to feeling pleased with myself. I’ve told a couple of people I'm doing one year no beer next year and do you know what? They didn’t laugh at me. They were genuinely interested in my reasons why. Lots of head nodding when I say I can’t handle the hangovers or I want better sleep. Haven’t told anyone outright I think I have a problem. Instead I’m saying all the “right” reasons and no one has said anything negative yet…!

Hi everyone,
I joined this thread a couple of months ago thinking I'd hit rock bottom, sadly this wasn't the case and I just kept digging. I didn't post again because I was so ashamed of myself. Not enough to stop drinking though clearly.

So here I am again. I managed 4 AF days last time, I need to do better. Its like the devil on one shoulder angel on the other, the devils telling me this is a stupid time of year to try, alcohol everywhere. The angels telling me if I dont stop I'm going to kill myself.

I am so so tired of feeling like this, my body aches. I know I should see my gp but I'm scared, what if they tell me I'm damaged beyond repair?

So heres another day one, wishing everyone on here love and strength.

I am not going to drink today.

@Overthewater52 I had many 4 day streaks and then the weekend would hit and I would be back to square 1. I didn’t think I could do it but I did it. You can do it too. We’ve got you. Come and chat whatever is going on with you. We are here and it helps.

@AFmammaG I think you are right. When I used to drink, I never wanted anyone else to give up because I knew it would make me feel like I should give up and I didn’t want to. My DH is the same now. He would rather I drink because it would make him feel like he doesn’t have a problem. But he does. And he knows it deep down.

@Gratitude24 - well done on your amazing streak! Christmas is hard. I feel very strong about not drinking but am still twitching about a Christmas Day sherry. But I am not going to do it. Last year was my first Christmas dry and I started to wonder whether I could do it. So just before the big day, I stocked up on no alcohol alternatives so that I could have something at each trigger point. So I had a fake Buck’s Fizz in the morning, a no alcohol martini when I was doing the veg and a decent bottle of no alcohol wine with lunch. (Well it wasn’t decent really but they never are! It was quite an expensive one though so felt like a ‘treat’). I know low alcohol alternatives are not for everyone but I think I would have struggled to get through without it.

Checking in. Have managed to stay reasonably dry (drank one time) and feeling fairly organised. Don’t feel as stressed this year as I have previously. This is despite both of my kids having time off school recently for being ill 😭 not completely finished the shopping for Christmas but I’m close. Will do my wrapping in the evenings starting Sunday. Hate wrapping but it’s got to be done…. Hope everyone else is ok.

Finishing work today and the last of my shopping. DH is out tonight, I will need a lot of willpower to not drink. There’s loads in the house and I will start my wrapping. I usually plough through a bottle of Baileys while I pack but not this year.

Did you manage to stay dry @AFmammaG ?

How is everyone else? Come back even if you are struggling! It might help a bit.

Yes it’s a bit quiet on here… I did on Friday @BoilingHotand50something but I drank yesterday. It was kind of planned and I knew there was a chance I would. I’m hoping that’ll be the last time actually because I don’t plan to drink at all next week.

You are sounding very strong and in control @AFmammaG - good stuff.

Merry Christmas fellow Day 1ers. Wishing you a peaceful and happy time, wherever you are at in your journey.

Merry christmas all,
My anxiety has been spiraling lately and last night I drank too much which I now regret. Dont know how Im going to get through today tbh.

I knew I wouldnt be able to give up over christmas so I'm aiming for dry jan instead. I've also been given four bottles as presents so far.

Got guests coming soon so have to pull myself together. Solidarity to anyone else trying to navigate this difficult time.

@Overthewater52 Merry Christmas! I am not dry but I am feeling good about the new year. I am ready for a good stretch dry in 2025.

Hope everyone is having a lovely Christmas x

Hello ladies, sorry I haven’t been on in a while (and thus haven’t read and kept up with all you lovelies). I’ve been drinking. Mostly working but drinking every week, and lately every day.

It’s not that great. I’m bloated, and have gained almost all the weight I lost working 10 hours a day (standing and lifting heavy things in a warehouse).

What am I going to do to change?
I’m going to try the 75 hard challenge because at this point my discipline is non existent, as is my self respect.

I just learned about it today and am going to start on the 1st of the year.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Please feel free to give me the cliff notes of how y'all have been!!!

Hope it’s okay to use this as an accountability thread/post as part of the challenge is not drinking alcohol.

@SadMama87 i think lots of us have used this post for accountability- whatever helps you achieve your goals. How are you feeling about starting on 1st?

@BoilingHotand50something I feel nervous. I’ve given up on myself so much lately regarding goals, it feels like I won’t be able to do it, but I am going to give it my best so I can grow my “discipline muscle”.

There’s an event for my husband’s work at the end of the challenge. A fancy dinner where they bring their wives, and we wear nice clothes. I want to be confident at that event, and frankly I want to make my husband proud to be next to me. He is very attracted to me still, but I do not feel attractive.

Well that all sounds very positive in terms of having a goal at the end. You need to keep playing it forward to that confident, glowing person - no bloated face, no grey skin, no boozy smell, flatter stomach, better rested, less anxious self. You sound determined and you will definitely have good company once people have got the holidays over and are coming back to try and achieve new streaks.

The anxiety was coming through strong today. I didn’t drink tonight and do not want to drink tomorrow either. I did drink a gallon of water though!!!

And tomorrow I take our eldest to our country’s capitol to visit a museum that is all about The Bible. We are so excited!! Just Mama and her oldest chicken ☺️.

Hope everyone is having a lovely night.

Hi everyone,

Well here I am again, another day one. Hoping this will be the last.

I've told everyone I'm doing dry jan, seems easier to jump on that bandwagon rather than admiting that I'm a complete fucking drunk mess.

I know it can't be just january though, I need to stop for good, so no last blow out for me tonight. I'd like to wake up tomorrow feeling like it is the start of a new me.

Sorry for rambling on, it helps to get my thoughts down.

Heres to a happy sober new year!