The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

@REP22 i was worried for a moment, I thought you were going to say the dog ate your mums knitting.

My late nippy JRT had a T-shirt with security on it and a raindeer xmas outfit.
The current dog has a tweed winter coat referred to by the DH as 'Jacob Reece Dog'
I am contemplating writing a book at the moment. I have two on my computer but I think a diary type thing might work. I have a secondary FBpage where I write what I really think, it's got quite a following. My own FB page got hijacked years ago by my controlling family.
I am going to start reading Sober Dave later. I'm not good with men as writers (bar Shakespeare and Chaucer)., However Allen Carr was helpful.

@WendyWagon - hehe, eating it would have been preferable to wearing it, I fear!

I used to have a JRT, she was lovely. Though very feisty - I think she had amassed something like 52 husbands and boyfriends before she passed away. She liked the elderly, obese ones. Kept her feeling young. Bit like Joan Collins.

You should definitely write - you have a lovely style. It can be very rewarding. I've had a play performed and a few articles published here and there. I also had a popular blog for a few years back in the day, "written by" the dog of the moment. It was an odd experience. It was nice to be popular and sought-after - but a bit harsh when it's made clear time and time again that they're only interested in the dog. Having total strangers coming up and greeting the dog by name was rather surreal. Very bizarre, being the puppet-master/organ-grinder passively holding the end of the lead, while everyone pays fawning court to the little dancing monkey on the other end of the string. I don't know who they thought was ACTUALLY writing the stuff... hehe... but it seemed to make people happy, and that meant a lot.

Sorry to hear about the FB hijacking; that's awful. I don't know how some people live with themselves or their actions. But then, perhaps we are better people BECAUSE we can't understand them. I'm not sure I want to know how these people operate. It must be exhausting to constantly be striving to bring people down and putting effort into tormenting others. Especially family. Bizarre to me.

Best of luck with Sober Dave. I enjoyed his style, and I don't always like podcasts.

Please do keep writing - you have a gift, and things to say that are worth hearing. xx

Strength and love to you all. x

Does anyone take anything for stomach issues?

When drinking I used to have stomach issues (notice the past tense!) It has got a lot better, but it's still pretty acidic. Anyone else had similar? Taken anything that's helped?

Not sure what to suggest @Womanshour - I've not really had those issues myself. Other issues where Dioralyte was a much-needed valued ally, but nothing acidy... Having said that, I've had positive past experience with Setlers Tums.

Hope it doesn't cause you too much grief. xx

Thank you @REP22!

I might add that I have had impure thoughts about the Gaviscon fireman. But that's for a whole other reason. 😉

Haha!!! I'm going to have to look that fireman up!!

Peppermint tea has always been my go to solution for most stomach problems

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife you are right good point. And whilst it's not as hot that's a fab solution!

I’m the queen of stomach issues. My wine habit exacerbated my IBS and the only thing that really helped was munching on TUMS. I’ve read that the extra Calcium helps solidify loos stools (sorry).

I hope not drinking will eventually help settle my stomach. It certainly can’t hurt! Peppermint oil also helped soothe cramps. Good luck

@dylexicdementor11 thanks. It's got loads better. But I still have that acid tummy and feel the need to eat to calm it down. It's still early days for me, if I think of rhe length of time and units I was having each week.... fingers crossed for us both!

The dog is very handsome, and I approve of his rosette.

I made aran cardigans for my daughter's Frenchie - he feels the cold on account of being a ridiculous breed.

I am going to bed soon - I was up most of the night watching the election, and feel I could sleep the clock round. I'm going to have my usual routine of lovely bath oil, scented bedroom and a rainstorm through a sleep mask. I've got clean PJs out and changed the sheets earlier, so it's all good. I'll do a quick tidy round the bedroom while the bath runs.

Going to bed sober in a clean and attractive room, getting into a made bed with clean sheets and lying there with soothing sounds in my ears is so much better than collapsing into a crumpled bed and waking up in the night to go to the loo before the alarm intrudes into a hangover. It really never gets old.

Goodnight @ShyMaryEllen . Your grandFrenchies are very lucky indeed to have your lovely knitted cardies ❤️ I'd love to be able to knit, but my fingers just won't do it.

My boy's mother was a French Bulldog. His father was a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. That must've been an interesting evening. I'll bet it only happens the once. 😵

He's the best of both. I'm very lucky to have him.

Love and strength to you all xx

Goodnight all!

I fell asleep on the sofa this evening (stone cold sober 😂).

Definitely looking up more information on PAWS in a min.

checking in ladies. hope you're all ok. been working like an eejit this week ( civil servant) and also up late watching the votes roll in

had a can of guinness zero in the pub to head of a big booze crave and it worked!

also off to bed sober feeling proud.

we can do hard things.

will try and catch up on everyone's news over the weekend

Hope the stomach issues resolve soon ladies. Well done on the joy of going to bed sober, even if you fall asleep on the sofa first! At least you don't feel awful when you wake up and head to bed.
I'm lying here feeling a bit sorry for myself, listening to my DH SNORING god it's SO BAD.
He's had me awake most of the night. Normally if he's as bad as this I'd kick him out to the spare room but I have my sister sleeping over with my niblings (best word ever!!) so not an option this time. I'm trying to to be too cross. Sis was drinking wine but DH joined me on the AF (bless him) so it's not that at least. He has a bad habit of snacking all evening which seems to make it worse. Then he promises he won't eat anything after 9 but never sticks to it. Last night he said he was going to bed and I hear the fridge opening on the way!
But however much that winds me up I'm trying to be empathetic because it's not as if I've not been known for similar (with alcohol obviously)
At least it's a weekend I guess. 2 of the kids are already up!

Ahoy! ⛴️ (Literally today as we are just arriving into port on a ferry this morning.)

Slept like a log despite sharing a cabin with DH and DD (who both snore) and DS(who doesn't). Must be the gentle rocking of the North Sea below us.

@Itsrainingten I also suffer with a DH with severe snoring issues. It is far worse when he has had a drink but even when stone cold sober can be awful. We also use the spare room a lot. But as DM is with us for the next 6 weeks, it is no longer an option.

Years ago, he was going to have some surgery to correct his nasal passages but I was worried about the anaesthetic AND the kids were still very little and I couldn't see how we would manage to keep DS away from his face for 2 weeks while it healed.

Now the procedure is no longer available on the NHS as his health is not considered at risk. they haven't considered the risk of a deranged wife after weeks of poor sleep though

@ShyMaryEllen I love my new sober bedtime routine. Lots of baths and time for a multi-step skin care routine. (Not quite a 10 step Korean Skin Care routine but at least I am cleansing, toning, serum and moisturizer reliably every night!)

Have a fantastic weekend ladies. ⚓

Hi all. I had a very drunk DH last night. Not in the remotely tempting to join but not nice to be honest.

I love the bed routines. May need to think about mine.

@Womanshour - I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not looking forward to being around drunk loved ones while AF at the same time it feels difficult telling people I’d rather they not drink around me. Have you had a conversation about it with your DH?

Morning all. I think one of the best outcomes of going sober is that I no longer snore (well, quite so badly) for my poor DH. But then I’m speaking from the perspective of someone whose DH doesn’t really snore. Although he does have some very interesting conversations 😆
Interesting hearing you speak about skincare @EastCoastDamsel as I’ve suddenly really developed an interest in it too since giving up the alcohol. I think maybe our skin looks so much better just from not being poisoned daily, that we want to build on it?
I’m currently investing in Beauty Pie and trying out their collagen (chocolate flavoured) and various retinol products and really enjoying the self care.
Unfortunately, I really love a bath, but ours has been out of action for about 6 months since one of our little angels dropped the shower head in there and broke the enamel. Now it leaks. 🤦‍♀️

Morning me hearties. Captain Wendy to the bridge.
I've been up early following a disabled thread. Blinking people can be so selfish.

I too had a house full of noise on Thursday with all the family up and shouting at the TV. I am proud of the DC actually participating. DS works in Westminster so he took some days off to avoid the press. They always snap him as he's a bit gorgeous. DD is a bit of a radical. The DH and I enjoy their sparing.

A quiet one for us this weekend. We were gardening but it's raining here. I have the food in so nowt much to do other than sorting more books.
@REP22 the DH use to be a fireman! 😄

@EastCoastDamsel @PissPotPourri
Any skincare questions just ask. That's my profession. X

Oh really? Fantastic, thank you!
I’m not wanting to derail, but since you offered…
I’ve been told for 40-50 year old skin, the must have, die-hard combination is retinol and vitamin C. Is that correct? Somebody else is swearing by the effects of collagen and I think given it’s good for joints too then maybe that’s a no brainer. Do you agree with all this?
Also, a stubborn wrinkle has appeared above my right eye- it’s far more pronounced of an evening and I’ve realised I regularly make a Sean Connery style facial expression which has led to its forming… 🤔 Is Botox my only option?
Thank you and ignore if too derailing!
I think I was always too pissed of an evening to focus on said wrinkle before

Morning all. I'm brand new to this thread and have literally just found it. I am currently lying on my bedroom floor having had too much to drink at a work event last night. I keep promising myself I'll cut down & then the following weekend I'm drinking too much again.

To be honest I'm feeling really suicidal right now. I was supposed to go home with my husband at 7.45 last night but allowed my colleagues to talk me in to staying out. I got home about 2am. I missed out on an incredibly rare Friday evening with my husband & young boys, & am now missing out on a Saturday with them because I'm being sick. I'm at a real low point & honestly don't know what to do with myself right now. I just want to turn back time. I want to erase it all. I feel scared & alone

Hi there @southernbelles

It's such a shit feeling, many of us on this thread have been there (more than once). Importantly, we aren't there now - there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Well done for posting. There's lots of advice and support available.

You did mention being suicidal - I imagine @mnhq will post so relevant links - do you feel you need crisis help?