Welcome @Moriartea I love your username - big fans of the Sherlock Holmes books in my house! I'm glad you've found us. I've just posted on your own thread - please feel free to ask any questions. This is a great space to be - I found my way here a year or so ago (April 2023 I think); I gave up the rough stuff in 2019, but had been slipping. This thread, along with a better mindset, helped by the books The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray really helped me to get back on track.
I gave up for a lot of reasons (wanting to be alive and actually live, work and function being chief motivators) but mostly for my dog. She deserved better than drunk me and the miserable existence we were enduring thanks to my preference for drink. I did it for her. Sadly, she only survived mere months after I was discharged from the support service, pancreatic cancer took her without warning or mercy. But she helped me into sobriety and I am so, so thankful. Now fate has blessed me with another treasure that I had absolutely no right to deserve, and that is Sid (not his real name - @WendyWagon has christened him Sober Sisters Sid, and he glories in this). So now, I stay sober for him. I have slipped several times - everyone here has been incredibly kind, helpful and supportive. But, as hard as it sometimes is, I keep sober for him. He has seen me drunk and incapable. He did not like it - nor the recovery process. His maker bestowed upon him rather large, expressive and soulful eyes. The look in them when a bottle of spirits was opened and poured and I took my first sips pierced my soul. He looked hurt and betrayed and, being a dog, knew exactly the scent of what was going in. He tolerates and loves me regardless - but it cuts him to the core. Awful. So now, I steer clear for him.
I'm glad you've joined us - you're safe here; you will be heard, understood and valued. It takes great courage to face up to something like this and try to make it better - don't underestimate your bravery.
We are all on common ground and have taken different routes to get here. Sometimes there are common themes (difficult childhoods, trauma, problematic relationships can be a common, though not universal, theme). Some of us post regularly. Some of us pop up from time to time. Some of us post once and and rarely ever again. Everyone is respected and valued. We're all different, but we're all here.
Some people probably read regularly but have never posted, and never have any intention of doing so. That's fine - they are welcome too. Some people will hate reading posts by me - they are generally over-long and rambling (see here and above).
Some people will groan inwardly at the relatively recent advent of Sid and loathe the sight of his whiskery gurning face. They may even think to themselves "F---ing h-ll, if MY dog had a face like that, I'd shave his ar$e and teach him to walk backwards."
That's OK. Those people are welcome too. You can post here as much or as little as you like and we will love you all the same. I sincerely wish you all the best in your journey. It might not be easy but I promise that it WILL be worth it - and you're not alone in this.
Sid has had a rather busy weekend, what with cricket yesterday and a NT garden visit this afternoon - he had taken himself off to bed for an early night. But I prodded him awake and successfully roused him long enough to say a happy hello to @Moriartea - and a very good night to you all. We have made it through another weekend. ☺️
Strength and love to you. Keep going - it will be alright soon. xx