The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

Morning shipmates and Sid.
One Yorkshire tea down.

Garden sorting for me today. I'm still thinking about the farmhouse. The DS is very unhappy about it. He is very fincially savvy and thinks it would be hard to make a profit. That isn't the intention. Admittedly it is near a big down at heal estate.
Big shouting match about that and wine in the house for a guest next week. I went to bed and watched Granchester.

Morning all.

Off for a run this morning and then a family trip into town for some shopping. DS is in desperate need of some decent clothes. He has a young man's body - 6ft now but is still really a bit at heart, wanting to play outside and not bothered about sartorial choices and DD is always up for a mooch about the shops.

I need proper bras. I am fairly large breasted but have never been able to bring myself to get properly fitted or justify the cost of decent lingerie (still not really to stretch to Rigby and Peller prices tbh) but am going to Bravissimo for a decent fitting an bras that are a bit more comfortable.

Weighed myself today and am 4.5kgs lighter than 6 weeks ago. (That's 9 pounds!)

Today is 8 weeks sober so almost at 2 calendar months. Feeling very positive 😁

Omg @EastCoastDamsel that is great re the weight.
My loss was about two/ three kilos a month which would be equal to the wine calories. I remember saying to the DS I was unhappy with the speed of the weight coming off and he said better slower and two years later here we are. I look a different person.
I got into a Hardy Aimes suit I had made for the DS's christening twenty five years ago. I love the jacket. I don't think I ve worn it since 2016. It's very Princess Di.
I too am extra large in the boob department. It's a life long nightmare. I am wearing pull on stretchy things at home since the illness so I don't scare the postman and the 'strapping' if I go out. I'd love one of those cotton Miss Mary bras but they don't do my size. I tend to buy marks or bravissimo.

Thank you @WendyWagon .

I also started running again when I quit alcohol and am finding it much easier to eat better too. I never had a terrible diet but was partial to crisps and sweets things which I am finding a lot easier to avoid AND or to replace with healthier choices.

Welcome home @REP22 . I am glad you and Sid had a lovely walking holiday and massive congratulations on resisting the Wine Witch.

@Sortingmyselfoutdayatatimewell done o resisting the welcome wine. Even as a drinker I used to find the inclusion of these odd @Onewildandpreciouslife . Maybe it is because I have 2 family members in AA so I knew you could never tell. (Same with end if year presents for teachers etc. would never give Wine as a gift as you never know what )

With the above one would have thought I would have caught on to my own issues a bit earlier. Just shows how blinded I was to myself.

Happy Sunday all

Just a Sunday thought
'We can't change the past but we can live for the future'.

I was super excited on Friday as a contact would like me to meet her publisher. How fab is that? A life at home with my dog /dogs and the chickens I desparately want. Hence the farmhouse.

Greeting shipmates. Sid and I are missing Dartmoor (though too hot today), but rejoicing in being back in full internet connectivity. Great to catch up with you all. @WendyWagon sorry your DS didn't look favourably on your farmhouse plans. I guess he's right to be concerned, but it's your money and your dream. Don't be put off if you feel it's right for you. How brilliant about the publisher thing though - go for it with every fibre of your being and keep us posted! So excited for you. 😀

If anyone is in the Shoreham-by-Sea area (sadly I'm not), the Chapter 34 bookshop there is having an evening with Clare Pooley AND Catherine Gray - my two favourite and most helpful (to me) sober writers. It's on 13 September, link here: https://www.chapter34.co.uk/event/catherine-gray-clare-pooley-author-year-one-event/

@EastCoastDamsel thank you for the welcome home, the WW solidarity and the greetings to Sid. He's happy to be home but missing his moorland. It'd be too hot for us today though.

Re. - the big bra issue. The lord was generous in the shirt-potato department when brewing me up too. It has not always been pleasant or easy. I've tried the high-end brands, Glamorize and Miss Mary types without much joy, HOWEVER - I have found sustained success with the unpromisingly and somewhat datedly named Triumph "Doreen" bra (the non-wired ones). They make them in larger sizes, are well-made, not as unattractive as the name might suggest, and are comfortable and supportive. They're now my go-to of choice and have consistently served me well. The most recent ones have been bought via John Lewis online and Amazon. (Amazon Doreen Link; https://www.johnlewis.com/triumph-doreen-non-wired-bra/p6252558 ). I absolutely love them and cannot recommend them highly enough. Occasionally you can find them in a jaunty colour, but that's the least important aspect for me. Beige, white or black are absolutely fine for me as the comfort and support are paramount. Got to get the scaffolding right. 😉

Strength and love to you. Stay safe in the heat. x

Congratulations to everyone holding strong in the face of heat and temptation. I had a moment last week - still waiting to resolve dh’s work situation and had some unexpected news. Nothing awful, just not at all helpful, and I had to recognise the trigger (unknown situation) and sit with the feelings for a bit. It all passed. Yesterday I had a can of the bizarrely named M&S Frizzantea (dry sparking tea). It’s delicious, but honestly, that name….

Good luck for your publisher chat @WendyWagon
@EastCoastDamsel good luck with the fitting! I’m lucky enough to have a small shop local to me that does a really good selection of larger cup bras. LingaDore are a good fit for me, as is Empreinte (but that last one can be a bit pricey).
welcome back @REP22 and sidders.

Morning all another week beckons

Ahoy
Hospital for me this morning to gage success of the proceedures. I'll shall be having words about the male rheumatologist who informed my GP I was a problem drinker. I had never even met him. They have discontinued a drug I have taken for twenty years on his say so and I ache all over. Still more mobile but it's a bit random.

After that more ebaying.

Good morning all, hope your weekend went OK. Thank you for the welcome back - very much appreciated.
@Blackberryblossom sorry to hear that triggers are twitching in your direction. Sending you all good wishes that their needles won't scratch you too severely.

Frizzantea sounds intriguing, though I agree that the name is somewhat unfortunate - it sounds like an embarrassing condition of the pubic area. I don't think they thought that one through.

Good luck at the appointment @WendyWagon - I hope that consultant is suitably ashamed of himself. Do they not realise the impacts and long-lasting effects of what, to them, are mere "remarks" can have?! Gits. I hope your procedures have been successful and the news is encouraging.

I was nearly triggered last evening. Sounding a note of caution about plans for attending an intense religious event under canvas on a swelteringly-hot day tomorrow for an elderly and vulnerable lady got me a full ten minutes of shouting and ranting abuse from my M, followed by nasty silence. Thank goodness the shops were already shut. This morning "I've decided to withdraw from that event. It wouldn't be wise in this heat." Grandy-dandy then. Sid is becoming a master of the sidelong knowing look, flickered in my direction with a roll of the eye, at key moments. Bless him.

Here he is, wishing you joy of your Monday and love and strength for the week ahead. xx

Back from the docs.
Lots of possible changes to meds so I had to queue for a blood test.

The consultant told me I was still big! Charming having lost five stone and now not suitable for WLS.
I argued re the alcohol issue and the consultant said they hadn't said that. I will follow it up becaus I don't want it on my records.

Oh, @WendyWagon that sounds frustrating. I'm sorry. I don't know how the consultant can deny saying something when it's appeared on your record. Sending solidarity and hope that it can be ironed out without too much hassle. Also that the meds changes won't have too much negative impact.❤

Back to the hospital myself tomorrow. On the plus side; tiresome work meeting scheduled for tomorrow has been cancelled 😄so more time to fully enjoy the hospital experience.

Keep going. It will get better. xx

Afternoon all. Sweltering here. Finding it difficult to motivate myself to work (I WFH) so am doing all the tying of loose end jobs.

Missed my hypertension check this morning as I was convinced it was 10minutes after the actual appointment.. luckily the receptionist was very kind and understanding and just rebooked me for next week.

Sorry to hear about haranguing from DM @REP22 and the weight issues.@WendyWagon . Have they offered you one of the new GLP-1 agonists? They are supposed to be as good as bariatric surgery. I was just listening to an expert in hunger talking about the on the Huberman Podcast this weekend while doing a major house clean.

Nothing much else to report here. Wish I could just sack off work and sit outside reading my book tbh.

@EastCoastDamsel im on the waiting list for the jabs. Tbh I don't like the idea of feeling sick so I'm a bit scared of them. As my son says it took twenty years to go on. It'll take a while to come off. I was feeling chirper in my two sizes smaller linen trousers. I needed to use the draw string toi! Some people have no bedside manner.
Just had a glass of blood orange juice. Fab.

Medical matters are stressful, aren't they? I hope the consultant is brought to book, @WendyWagon . I've got my chat to the GP on Wednesday, postponed from a fortnight ago, when I hope to have my original diagnosis amended on my records. It's been hanging over me since 2nd April when I had the fibroscan - the wheels move soooooo slowly, and it's frustrating.

I got some virgin cocktails from Sainsbury's, and tried one earlier. It was like syrupy Ribena. The others are different flavours, so I'm hoping they are better. I've also ordered some Bon Voyage 'Chardonnay', which is my current favourite AF drink. I'm away next week, and taking some with me to be on the safe side. If anyone wants a wine sub, this is worth a try. It's on Amazon, is cheap and is very pleasant. It doesn't taste of chardonnay, but I've pretty much forgotten what that tastes like anyway, so I don't mind.

checking at just over 90 days sober and successful
first sober holiday abroad. felt great coming home and knowing i did it!!

having strange feelings about this can't be forever can it, though. sobriety sure is a weird journey.

sending love to you all

Morning all.
@ponzusoup congratulations. At 100 days I felt marvellous. Admittedly I did question the moderation/ am I cured issue.

Stiff as a board this morning but I can resume my old meds.
I got offered some consultancy last night so that might tide me over.
Nothing from the seaside beauty company so I think I'm persona non grata there. Toxic people during my time. Who said what I don't know.

Dear all, sorry I had a bit of a big fall. Climbing back on feeling battered and bruised and embarrassed.

Back to day 1 had been over 4 months... eugh... x

Congratulations, @ponzusoup ! Both on the 90 days and the sober holiday. Both are milestones, and proof that you've got this.

Well done @ponzusoup ! Just keep on one day at a time - don’t panic about “forever”, it’s much more manageable to think “today I will not drink”.

Welcome back @Womanshour . Sorry you had a tumble - the main thing is you’re back and posting. Be kind to yourself - this is a hard thing we’re trying to do.

Morning all 🌅

Another sweltering day here.

Big congratulations @ponzusoup ! 🎉

Sorry about the tumble @Womanshour . Really good to have you back.

@Womanshour im so sorry you had a blip. Some have never had them on this thread others have fallen and got back up again. We are all different but with a common goal.
If it helps I am thankful for everyday I don't drink. I am Wendy of the wagon fall but it's better than being SavBbunny, which was my previous name. Wine was my daily fix all but it fixed nothing. Work, home, family issues were still there.
I can honestly tell you I am happier. I don't live in fear of being found to be a 'drinker'.

Put some toast on, drink water or milk and rest up a bit with crap TV.
Another day is here. X

welcome back @Womanshour be kind to yourself and take @WendyWagon safe advice. it's taken us all many falls to get to where we today, that is the nature of the beast. i have learned that it is not how you fall that counts, but how you get back up again and what you learn from it

sending love and empathy to you and respect for coming back. as a wise woman once said , if one of your car tyres get slashed do slash the other three or mend the slashed one and get back on the road?

@Womanshour , obviously it's your shout, but going back to Day 1 can be so dispiriting. If you've had a blip, do you have to be so merciless with yourself? If you've had a month-long bender it's maybe different, but even then, context is all.

I went on holiday about 3 weeks in (pre-diagnosis) and didn't even try not to drink, but at that stage every day counted so I continued from where I left off, talking out the days I'd been drinking. So say I was on Day 21 when I went away, I started at 22 when I got back. It makes no difference to anything, and is particularly unimportant in the long run, but it can keep up the momentum when you can't quite believe you've managed weeks not days. It was true that I'd had 22 days with no alcohol, even though they weren't strictly consecutive.

I don't talk about it on here, but I do have a very occasional glass of wine (eg at a wedding) and I don't count it, as I've stopped counting if that makes sense. Anyway, do what's right for you - if starting again works then why not, but if you'd be more encouraged by counting from when you stopped for the most part, then that's ok too.

I agree @ShyMaryEllen . It's a major difference between being a drinker and toasting the bride.
When I reached 100 days on this thread I said thank you and I now knew how to moderate. For me that didn't work. I think I went on a massive night out! God was I ill. I then didn't have a wagon fall for a year. My younger brother died suddenly and it sent me into a tail spin particularly as his elder daughter was extremely nasty to me. We went to the funeral but were allowed no input. I sat with some disgusting wine and the rest I can't remember.
I can count my falls in 31 months on my hands so for someone who was drinking 5-7 bottles a week I think I've done amazingly well. I look better, think better and I'm nicer. To myself (still working on that one) and others.
Nobody's perfect but one foot in front of the other works for me.
I recommend the Valancia orange lolly's. They're really sharp like wine.