The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

what a lovely message @REP22 thank you.

it's down to you and the brilliant ladies on here who welcomed me and held me up when i joined in a self loathing state back in April.

thanks with all my heart

Thank you @ponzusoup ❤️❤️ I too would be adrift in a sodden wasteland without the wisdom and solidarity on this thread. Despite what we're all here for, it's one of the best places to be. xx

Good morning all.
Up and kicking in the sunshine.

@REP22 ah pot weeding. Makes me laugh as we bought an ex rental that was used as a cannabis factory. We have great insulation!

I am chasing up my old job at the beauty company. I loved it there. The people are nice. However there was a incident with the final embarrassing event taking place whilst my drinking was at its worst. They don't know I don't drink. So I wonder if I should let my ex boss know that? She's a boozer.
I need to write to her and pitch effectively.

Just some shopping today. Friday needs special ice cream.

Good morning all. Another good morning here. The last day before holiday for me 'n' Sid. I've got to have A Difficult Conversation with my manager today - not about me - but I've unearthed malfeasance elsewhere and need to discuss it. This morning I woke up, ready to face the day and what lies ahead but something was missing. I honestly couldn't place it. Himself was still under the duvet, so unavailable for consultation, and then I realised. It was the knot of fear and apprehension that comes when trying to face a challenge through the fog of last nights' drinking. Totally absent. Another very positive thing. 🙂

@WendyWagon that's good, that you might still have an "in" to the former place that you loved.

As to what to say about previous form... that's a tricky one. Loads of people make mistakes when younger (myself certainly included), especially at Christmas parties or other socials where the liquid is liberal, so that it’s often enough to just say, “I wasn’t making very good decisions for myself at that stage, but you’ll see that my record since then is quite different,” and then move on to something convincing about how pulled-together you are now. And I know you will be convincing about that, and able to point to a record of achievement and reliability since then.

If you felt able, you could also say something along the lines of "I'm mortified about my behaviour back then. I didn't realize that I'd had a few too many, but clearly I did. I'm so sorry about that, and I'm not going to be drinking at any company events in the future, ever again." I wouldn't reference the fact that the boss still drinks and you know about it. It's not about her, just your intent to express that you are now clear-headed and reliable. Clear, contrite and positively looking forward, and hopefully the matter will rest there in peace.

I'm sorry if this sounds patronising or in any way demeaning. You are far more successful and intelligent than I am. I like to help people with wording things (I do it a lot at work), so apologies if I have overstepped here. I wish you all the very best in your search for a new role and the dog and I will be heartily cheering you on from the virtual sidelines 🙂

I will also be shopping later today. Dog and I are off on hols tomorrow so food must be procured. I may push the boat far, far out from shore and treat myself to some posh cereal. Although I don't think they make Golden Grahams anymore, so I may be disappointed.

Strength and love to all. x

Ah thanks @REP22 .
I was on the senior leadership team at the time of the industry event where the infamous Spanx flashing took place. I've never returned to the event.
I may not be an easy in due to the fuss when I left. It was a sham redundancy due to a returning new mum. She wanted a different role (mine) and alledged pregnancy discrimination at interview for the job I was appointed to. I fell on my sword. I didn't want to live through the court case. Soon after I gave up the grog.
It's a perfect fit for me and I truly loved the product and team. It was also fun and wfh three days a week. I actually mourned my exit.
Lots of the team have contacted me and said please come back. However the owner hasn't yet. She may want to save money.
Have a lovely holiday Rep. X

Oh dear, that sounds grim @WendyWagon. Is the other person (new mum) still at the firm? It speaks very highly of you that you fell on your sword and saved them a potentially-costly legal battle. The team members may also speak up for you if called upon.

I really hope that, if it's right, the welcome-back-Wendy will be warm and enthusiastic. You can but try. Nothing you can do about the Spanx episode (apart from possible gratitude to the Sh#tstorm Gods that it was Spanx and not a pearl thong) except move on with dignity and good grace.

All shall be well.

Thank you for your good wishes. Alas, the fates have conspired to deny me an early finish for Sainsburys this afternoon, but no matter. We are off tomorrow, but my laptop (non-work one) will be coming with us, so we shall still be here-here (sorry about that, hehe) x

Where are you off to @REP22 . We are in Northumberland plus dog. Ready to tackle hadrians wall

@Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime We're off to Dartmoor, I love it there (despite last year's shenanigans). I think that's what it looks like in heaven. Have a very lovely time in Northumberland - don't be chopping any trees down for the bbq 😉 xx

It's interesting how it's so much easier to stop drinking while pregnant

I know obviously there is the incentive to not harm the baby but then straight back on the wine once baby is born despite almost a year AF

Hi @toepick . 👋🏻

Yes, it is isn't it? I think it imhas to do with your mindset and your "why" and mindset too.

In effect your whole pregnant one's mindset is "I don't drink" and then once the baby is botlrn or switches back to "I do drink"

Say 49 here. I have decided that as a special treatment I will buy myself the treadmill I always wanted when I get to 100 days. I will have almost saved the amount it costs by that time and it would be a lovely big ticket, really world, visual reminder of how far I have come.

Happy Saturday every one. Hope ypumare all keeping well.

Morning all.
@EastCoastDamsel I'd love a treadmill. The DH and I were runners back in the day.
I stayed up watching the late film.
We had got a huge amount of shopping in earlier because the DD has gone on a diet. My late mother was always dieting and it made me neurotic as a teenager. I try not to say anything as she is so lovely inside and out.

The dog is due his clip today and then hopefully a bit more sorting in the garden.

Warm here already. The DH bought rhubarb and ginger AF gin yesterday so I'll let you know.

Morning everyone, apologies for the long absence. I hope you're all OK.
@Crunchymum I hope the football was OK for you. It's weird how these temptations can just come out of nowhere.
@southernbelles how are you?
Welcome to all the new joiners and congratulations on making it through the early days, weeks and months.
@rep22 I hope the awkward work convo went OK. "Malfeasance" is one of my favourite words. And what a truly handsome boy your Sidders is. He looks like a canine in Peaky Blinder form.
Good luck with the former employer approach @WendyWagon . And yes, I can vouch for your breakfast credentials 🤓 Also, still chuckling at the "Jacob Rees Dog" coat quote a few pages back - brilliant!
Trying to manage my spinning emotional plates at the moment but on the whole stuff is good and I've resisted the quiet but occasionally persistent curiosity to see if alcohol would make any of it easier. DH is still off work sick and we've had some issues with comms with hr which meant that salary has stopped before the salary protection insurance kicked on. Which is not ideal but luckily we have savings. And at least we're not burning money on alcohol any more. And he's not far off retirement age so I don't expect it to be a problem for long.
I walked The Ridgeway long distance footpath with a friend! It was great, I'd always wanted to do a longer walk and just being outside for so many days and going something completely different was lovely. Very satisfying and I'm keen to do another one now that I know I'm physically capable and that dh and dd are fine without me. That does sound arrogant but is rooted more in domestic practicality.

Good morning all.

@Blackberryblossom thank you! Sidley is well-chuffed with that reference! He fancies himself as a PB type. His actual reality is more, er... "Eurovision"... if you know what I mean... 🌈😉

Well, shipmates, He and me are now about to set off for our Dartmoor holiday. Very grateful for the hard-won sobriety that means we can have a lovely trip away together and that I can drive us there. Not possible when drinking. I almost WANT the Rozzers to stop and breathalyser me, so proud of my sobriety am I. 😳

Hopefully there will be no repeat of last year's grim misadventures...
Do look out for us being airlifted to safety on Saving Lives at Sea. Or Countryfile. Or possibly both. 🫣 😉

Strength and love to you. Hope your weekend is good and kind to you. Stay strong, even if for just one more day. You can do it, and it WILL be worth it. xx

Just got home. Electricity tripped and fridge freezer has been off for at least a week 😭😭😭

@EastCoastDamsel you'll only save the peas!

@EastCoastDamsel that probably stinks. Sorry but rather you than me
i have done quite a few of the long distance walks including the ridgeway
1st 11 miles of hadrians wall done
@REP22 hpe you have a great time. Many moons ago I lived in Ivybridge so on the edge of dartmoor

@EastCoastDamsel Oh NO! What a horrible thing to come back to, I'm so sorry. Hope it isn't too foul. I once set a load of washing going in the machine and then was taken very ill. Off to hospital by ambulance, where I stayed for nearly a month. I returned to find the washing machine had packed in mid-cycle and for all that time the clothes had been lying in foul and now stagnant water. Dear god, the smell - it was like Father Jack's underpants hamper, only soaking wet. 🤢 Hope you aren't too out of pocket to replace it all.

@Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime thank you! Ivybridge is nice. We used to stay in South Brent quite a bit but the lady has retired from renting her cottage.

We have arrived and - as you can probably tell - logged into the WiFi. It's small and remote but nice. Happy relief that there isn't a basket of provisions complete with bottle of wine in the fridge - there often is in these holiday lets - thank the lord for my inherent parsimony.

A cup of tea with lovely soft Dartmoor water, methinks (the water where we like abounds in limescale like the North face of the Eiger).

Strength and love. xx

@REP22 the dog and the view are gorgeous.
My new air fryer has stopped working. The DH thinks it has overheated. I am super inconvenienced. I've taken to cooking all the main grub in it. It's the lazy girl's dream.

We finally got some bark to put on a odd piece of garden to the front of our house. I need a strong man to dig a huge hole for a climbing Magnolia. The birds or squirrels keep eating the flower buds. DS is home tomorrow but he has been super grumpy of late.

Just had fresh marks orange juice, just lovely. I expect I'll be on the cow juice later.

Thanks for the commiserations all. @REP22 @Sortingmyselfoutdayatatime it was indeed disgusting but, it was a long overdue opportunity to do a proper clear out of both fridge and Freezer and do a bit of reorganising. We have regained an enormous amount of Tupperware and unfortunately created a huge amount of biohazardous waste 🤢🤮

Morning all.
It's quite overcast here.
I'm up before the DH.
The dog played up in the night but I managed to go back to sleep. I could never do that when drinking. A great win.

The DS is home today. I will be having a talk with him. He seems so miserable. I never hear him laugh. The DH said he'd noticed too. The DD who has anxiety is always laughing and takes a joke. He was always the one having fun. It's worrying.
I know he doesn't like his job. They say you're only as happy as your unhappiest child.

Morning.

Sorry to hear about DS. You are absolutely right, our DCs mental wellbeing has a huge impact on our own. I hope he opens up to you and lets you supper him.

Lazy day here today. Run, unpack,.cook Sunday Roast, and a soak on the tub on the to-do list for me today.

DDog1 puked up all his tea in the back room last night, so that was fun on waking this morning. (I think it is a protest to having been at the kennels for 2 weeks)

Good morning. Sorry to hear about the troubled dogs - hope they will be OK soon. Sid and I had a good night, though the sheep on the hill immediately outside our window were occasional disturbers of the dog's peace until he worked out what they were. Sometimes their bleats can be very human-like.

I hope your son will be OK @WendyWagon. Maybe he's had a falling-out with his GF? I will keep everything crossed for him and you.

In an unanticipated development, I found this morning that I have fallen to the communists once again. 🚩 Been at least 9 months since my last one. I can't decide if this is a positive thing (still young enough, bodily functions returning to normal after drinking and illness) or negative (you don't need me to tell you). The dog would not be drawn on the matter - I asked him what he thought but he would not meet my eye and pretended to be counting the biscuits in his bowl. Off for our first walk of the week in a minute.

Have a good day. Keep going and stay strong. x

@REP22 I would deffo make an appointment with the GP when you get back from your holidays. Just to have a once over.

morning all. windy here today on our second week of spanish holiday. still relishing sobriety on hols. sorry to hear about your DS @WendyWagon hope you can engage him. my youngest DD had a grumpy rude day yesterday. by midnight she'd come round in no small part due to me not being three sheets to the wind and unable to communicate properly which would have been the case on every other saturday night if a family holiday ever.

@REP22 enjoy your doggy walk on dartmoor - i've never been there!

@EastCoastDamsel enjoy your bath and roast.

love to all.

@REP22 the pics of sid are pure balm for my soul. defo our sober mascot. thank you 💜🐶🏳️‍🌈