The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

@REP22 - I listened to the "you can handle this now, you've earned it" voice on Sunday. It lied. I'm back on wagon somewhat abashed by my hubris.

So sorry to hear about work @WendyWagon .

Stay strong @REP22 IWNDWYT

Oh, @HappyAsAGrig - bad luck. The pull is strong and I have fallen more than once. I'm so sorry. It doesn't make you an awful person. Keep going, dust yourself down and stride on forwards. It will be alright. ❤

@WendyWagon and @NextPhaseOfLife - I'm sorry; I didn't mean to draw forth tears. Wendy, I am so so sorry about your former employers. What utter sh#ts, to treat you that way. I hope karma comes a-calling for how they've behaved. You deserved better. xx

Thanks, REP.

It wasn't a major thing, I had wine while watching the football final ("I deserve this because I hate stupid football so at least there's some fun in this evening.") I didn't make a show of myself or say or do anything to be worried about. But I did think I'd be fine to have access to plenty of red wine and ripe cheese and still exercise restraint. I didn't.

Felt hungover as anything the next day (which never used to happen) and thought the whole thing wasn't worth it at all.

Onwards and upwards.

Ah, @HappyAsAGrig - that voice is so persuasive, isn’t it?! Good to see you back

Thanks, Onewild! I've been busy enjoying having the adult kids around lately so haven't been online as much. We're watching a lot of movies and playing board games.

@WendyWagon

They are a bunch of total shits 😡😡😡😡😡

Can you set up your own business or consultancy?

Evening all (coppers daughter so it makes me laugh).

I started off with a complete bollocks of a day and have ended laughing my socks off. My former colleague from 21/22 has lost his job. He was the one who liked the young girls and hated older women. Three of us were ousted by him.
I then read their latest glassdoor and I nearly wet myself. It's a book in the making. The owner is called miss fur coat and no knickers.

@HappyAsAGrig i am sorry you had a wagon fall. Tbh I was so fuming that I would have joined you had I not had my DS here. I was looking for a shop run all day. The impending visit from the picky friend isn't helping.
However I think talking about it helps.
I'm not cured but I try my best. That's what we do because the alternative is poor health and damaged relationships.
Soldier on my lovelies.

Commiserations, @HappyAsAGrig . The 'you've proved you can do it, so the odd one won't hurt' voice is so convincing. The lie is hidden in the truth, as so many good lies are - the odd one probably wouldn't hurt, but as we all know, the truth is that it would soon move beyond the odd one.

It's such a pain. The people who enjoy drinking most are the ones who can't do it without suffering. Chin up though - tomorrow is another day.

Enjoy the schadenfreude, @WendyWagon . I hope it tastes delicious taken cold with a side order of revenge 😈

Morning all.
Hope everyone is well.

@REP22 your dog though 🤣♥️ ...makes me chuckle

Morning 😁. Have a lovely day xxx

Hello everyone, the dog and I are plodding along. Hope all is well.

The urge was strong last evening - the "you can handle this now, you've earned it" voice. But resistance was maintained. It will get easier. I had mad dreams though - very vivid about an old episode of an Alex Polizzi programme I saw years ago (I have a photographic memory and recall everything. It's a blessing and a curse.) with an intransigent and belligerent fool with a tea shop who couldn't be helped. The Singing Kettle, in case you're interested. Bizarre. I was glad to wake up. I'd still rather have the odd dreams than the anguished mornings though. 🙂

The dog is currently in a strop. He was snapping after a fly (he's obsessed) and banged his snout on the wall. And then I let the fly out of the window. My treachery has rendered him speechless. Except to mutter that my behaviour was "frankly, unacceptable".

Well I survived the picky friend. She arrived with lunch bits including a presse.

I wore a emerald lands end maxi dress. First time something has fitted me. I walk around with baggy clothes. Very happy with that. I managed to clean a bit and she didn't make many comments. In the past I'd be upset for days.
Looking forward to retiring to my boudoir.

Good on you @WendyWagon - I'm glad it wasn't too grim. No-one has the right to make you feel miserable for minutes, let alone days. Hopefully none of her barbs stung too deeply. Your dress sounds gorgeous, I bet you looked fabulous.

Enjoy the rest of your evening now that's the visitation over with, and I wish you a restful repose in your boudoir, sleeping the sleep of the righteous 😇xx

Morning all.

Last full day of holiday here for us. Having Ng lovely weather and I am really enjoying my sober holiday. The days are fabulous but I do find the evenings when some of the party are really getting stuck in very very tedious.

@REP22 I remember the Alex Polizzi documentary, I really enjoyed it. In fact we are at Olga's place earlier this week. (MIL had rather too much wine and ended up really insulting BIL's culture and his DM which has cast a bit of a shadow) But the food was good and the AF options excellent. Unfortunately, I had.to.avoid all the molluscs on the menu as I still need to do the allergy blood panel when we get home. 😢 @WendyWagon well done on surviving the friend and lunch!

I woke up this morning and realised that although I do get urges, actually, fundamentally I just don't want to drink anymore.

Also, started worrying about a small skin thing that has been on my thigh for about 2 months (maybe 3 now) and is just not healing. Have booked an appointment with the GP first thing on Monday morning.

Good morning all. Ahoy!
I'm up and feeling Tigger.

@EastCoastDamsel you must get anything that doesn't heal looked at. If it's itchy and bleeding that's defo one for the doc.

I feel better due to the picky friend not getting at me. I reiterated the need not to pass on my address to anyone.
However she did ask about my vote, but I stand by my decision. We're a political household due to the DS.

I need to do a bit of weeding today. I think I can bend over a bit. It's only pots at this time due to the illness.
I have a huge lemon that's going in my Gordon's af tonight.
Have a lovely day my friends.

Good morning all.

Survived the night with no mad dreams, so happy with that. @EastCoastDamsel I do like the Alex Polizzi programmes, she's great. I think there's a new series of The Hotel Inspector on C5, so I might have to work my way through that.

@WendyWagon. I do like Tigger - despite his issues with concentration. I think I am more of a Roo myself, hehe. Good luck with the weeding; I did quite a bit of that at the weekend. My gardening skills are mediocre at best, although my stocks and nicotiana seedlings that I planted seem to be doing well. My late Staffie used to love eating young bedding plants. He once polished off three trays of marigolds destined for my M's borders, newly-delivered from the garden centre, in a single sitting. I watched him do it. We blamed the slugs. Current dog is indifferent; though he does love a salad. Here he is, exercising one of his key philosophies - "Whatever your path in life - always stop and eat the flowers."

Strength and love to all. xx

@REP22 i think your dog might have to be the thread mascot.
Sober Sisters Sid.

I have just had a funny conversation with the doc re drinking. A consultant I have never met told her I am a heavy drinker. He insisted I needed to cease boozing, not sure where he got his records from. I had to give actual dates! All very odd.

Bum sitting and considering a bit more pot weeding.

Thank you @WendyWagon - he would be deeply honoured. He likes Sober Sisters Sid. I know of Hissing Sid - perhaps he could be P-ssing Sid, hehe (he's frequently either expelling it - or taking it) ❤

That's odd - about the doc and the consultant; I'd find that a bit offensive, to be honest. I've had to record "dates of last drink" in the past, but not for a GP, that was when I was getting help from the recovery support service. Very peculiar. Maybe the doc can shed some more light?

Pot weeding...?! Beware - 'tis the Devil's Lettuce. 🌿 Seriously though, I hope you are growing nice and fragrant things to make you smile. xx

That is very odd. I hate having to go through all of that every bloody time I speak to a medic, or a pilates teacher, podiatrist, dentist - sometimes it feels like it was remiss of me not to inform the window cleaner!

I was meant to have The Conversation with my GP yesterday, but it's been put back by two weeks, which is maddening.

Anyway, I would ask where that information's come from, @WendyWagon , and also to check whether or not it's accurate. You never know if it will come back to bite you once it's on your records.

I agree with @ShyMaryEllen. I honestly do NOT wish to cause alarm or scare-monger in any way. But it's a question worth asking. The last thing you want is any form of driving check where a GP mention of alcohol issues/abuse drifts into the DVLA's orbit.

They have been merciless with me over the last five years - and I have never been stopped nor garnered even a single point for speeding or tail-light infringements on my licence ever since I started driving in 1998. A voluntary self-referral and temporary surrendering of my licence in 2017 has resulted in misery ever since. There are literally people who have served time in prison (I know, I've had to line up for medicals with them) for DWI offences (rightly - they deserved to be punished) who do not have to continue with the yearly scrutiny that I have to. One was a guy who'd served a custodial sentence following his third (!) DWI conviction - he is clean now - he had to do the annual checks for three years in a row before being given his full licence back. This will be my fourth year. I'm classed with the HROs, despite the fact that I've never driven under the influence nor so much as stolen a foam banana off the pick'n'mix. Gits.

Again - I'm not wanting to cause fear or even mild alarm. But make sure it's recorded in your notes that you are sober and the date you last had an issue. It sounds like you've already covered that though @WendyWagon, hopefully that'll be OK.

Apologies again for having a moan. I brought my situation on myself, I know. But do beware - the DVLA are not medical people but have the say over your fitness to drive with only scant regard to evidence. I know of others who passed all the blood and urine tests, received exemplary reports of sobriety and health from their GP, but have had their licence refused by the DVLA because they accidentally wrote a single digit incorrectly on the "date of last drink" box so it didn't tally with one on a different form - thus they were deemed "deliberately deceitful" (though I think their licence was successfully reinstated on appeal) and it is soul-destroying trying to get through to them.

Sorry, sorry sorry. I don't mean to sound miserable and bitter. 😳

Normal service will be resumed shortly, once I've had a cuddle off young Sidney. 😉

Strength and love, as ever. x

N.B. DWI = Driving While Intoxicated; HRO = High-Risk Offender

evening all. glad you're all ok. on week two of beach holiday. also feeling great for not drinking despite the odd sundowner crave.

@EastCoastDamsel well done for surviving your hols and fam

@WendyWagon for surviving the picky friend and silly GP

@REP22 sober sisters sid 💜 i miss my dog she's with a lovely dog minder whilst we're away

@ShyMaryEllen damn it that your gp convo got delayed how annoying.

DD told me today how much better things are now i'm not drinking and sister told me i look much better in holiday snaps. think ive lost some of the bloated skin and puffiness finally. coming up to 90 days....

I would echo all others on here. I am an ex-medic (not practiced in 15 years).

I would definitely enquire and set the record straight re your history.

Hello @ponzusoup that's fantastic to hear about your holiday, and that other people are seeing and appreciating the real, fabulous you. And nearly 90 days and absolutely goddess-ing it over the cravings. You're brilliant.

Sorry you're missing your dog. They do leave really quite disproportionately large holes in our hearts when they're not with us. She will have a very hearty welcome for you when you get back home - all the more because the scent of you will be the you she loves and not intermingled with vestiges of booze in your pores - dogs can pick up on things like that, as you probably know. She will delight in recognising the true, unadulterated Parfum de Ponzu 😘

How lovely of your DD to say that. That, and your gorgeous photos are real treasures. They make it worth it all. ❤

Enjoy the rest of your holiday. xx