Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

#browniesnotbeer for the next thread title 😆

I am enjoying it, yes. Life is still life - I've been through a restructure/redundancy programme at work, life still has its challenges - but they are easier to deal with now. Like, much easier.

Also, as someone mentioned earlier, I know the way I act is all me. If I'm being silly, it's because I'm being silly and having fun. If I'm emotional it's because I'm genuinely reacting to a situation. I don't have that background fear of 'am I doing this because I'm pissed/grumpy and hungover.

I didn't start decorating because I forgot to order paint brushes with the paint. Went shopping this afternoon and picked some up, so chaos can start tomorrow. Tonight's tea pork and apple sausage with some chunky air fryer chips. Followed by brownies and tea.

Beans on toast here! Keeping it simple and I feel less stressed as a result. I did have a some cheese and crackers after but I’m ok with that. Day 5 of August in the bag 💪

I had honey on toast for dinner tonight. I love cooking usually but I have to admit this is one of my favourites! I had a better work day today (why do I find Mondays so damn difficult to focus on!) and currently drinking peppermint tea in bed and trying to persuade myself to put down the phone and pick up my book instead (doing well as you can see).

Hope you all had a good day!

I’m also just about to put the phone down! Time for bed. Looking forward to a peaceful night. All good here… also hope everyone else is!

Hello all. Still cracking on here and rooting for you guys. Summer is hard so everyone is doing great!

Day 338 here! That bit about being silly, loud, whatever without the alcohol is so true! Turns out I am quite funny even without wine! And I am also still sometimes grumpy without wine so it’s swings and roundabouts!

It's a bit cooler here today which I'm grateful for. Bathroom all finished, painted, glossed and flooring down. Just waiting for the new towel and rug to arrive. Have to tackle the bedroom next, just painting in there but it's my least favourite. I can't stand the smell of paint so I'll be camping downstairs.
Day 7 about to be a success

Cravings came out of no where earlier. I nearly did. I downloaded just eat, I put wine in the basket. Decided to wait another 30 minutes. I did have a takeaway but it was a pizza.
I have to admit that was a bit scary, I was feeling teary while fighting it. I'm feeling better now.
Day 7.

Well done @CoffeeLover90

@BoilingHotand50something I am so shy and quiet without wine. I guess that’s my natural character but as a child my Mum always pushed me to be more outgoing. I think she thought I’d amount to nothing hiding in the corner.

@CoffeeLover90 well done and well done! The decorating sounds really productive! It will feel great once it’s finished. And for resisting. Think of that extra cash you saved. Getting the pizza sounds well deserved. Also day 7 of August in bag here. Feels good.

@SadMama87 how are you? What is happening with miracle?

Thanks @AFmammaG but it has knocked me a bit. I was so close and I find that scary. The cravings passed but I can't believe how it came from no where and so strongly.
I'm putting off the bedroom, I deserve a rest first lol.

Also would like an update on Miracle, that may cheer me up.

It’s really great that you got through it @CoffeeLover90. There’s no denying the cravings can be hard and incredibly sudden. Last time I c(r)aved I was on the sodding treadmill when the thought struck me. And it is totally hard but you just cannot give that thought air space - and you managed it! Clearly I did not on that occasion but work in progress.

And the next day, when you’re feeling all fresh and you realise just how different the outcome could have been is a
really great feeling.

@TimesaChangeling thank you. I am trying to focus on the fact I didn't give in but it scared me. It's saddened me that it happened a week after stopping and was stronger than cravings on day 1 or 2. Focusing on other things as I am worried I won't overcome it if it happens again.

I don't have anything nice planned for tea. Might just have something quick and simple from the freezer.
I have no brownie or chocolates. I don't dare go to the shop after last night's saga. I have got chocolate moose, belongs to the child, but he won't miss one surely

I'm not craving. More important things on my mind. The bloody rioting, my friends, my neighbours, in hiding. God, I hope this blows over soon. I'm not close enough to the rioting to effect me physically but I'm teary on a daily basis.

How lucky I am. Opened my eyes. At a cost.

If anything I would say that’s totally normal. Day 1 and 2, you’re all fired up for it and probably feeling grotty from the booze anyway. By day 7, you’re feeling a lot better and your brain is saying something along the lines of “see, you’re doing great. 7 days, no drinking therefore no problem. Have one! It’s not like we were seriously going forever were we?” And that’s where I think the tougher situations arise. Those feelings pass too but definitely finding a place to hide away is key. I spent the entirety of last winter in the bath tub…

go for the 🫎, your need is greater!

That makes a lot of sense @TimesaChangeling thank you

@BoilingHotand50something

Congratulations on being AF for so long. You must have learned a lot about yourself along the way?

@CoffeeLover90 well done on putting that wine in your basket then not checking it out. That's a brilliant mind battle you won. Don't let it scare you, let it inspire you. "Even when I think I'm overwhelmed with an urge, my will to NOT drink is stronger".

You've done 7 days. You've done it.

I did scour this thread though for a 🦞 lobster, before I realised that what @TimesaChangeling had posted was a 🫎 moose mousse 😂😂😂

100 plus days for me now, including 4 days so far on hot hot hot holiday. First holiday in 35+??? Years without a drink. And it's bloody AWESOME.

@NextPhaseOfLife thank you. I know you're right, I should concentrate on the positive but it was how it was so unexpected. I kind of feel on edge.
Only done one abroad trip, quite recently and only 4 days but I can confidently say a boozy holiday would not be for me. I didn't drink while away, didn't want either, I like to be out doing things and seeing sights I won't see at home.
Maybe I should just travel? It may cost thousands but it'll keep me away from wine 😂

Day 9 about to be achieved. I don't doubt it. ##browniesnotbeer

Hi everyone!

Looks like everyone’s August has gotten of to a good start so far, I hope you are all managing to be kind to yourself and fill your free days with as much self care as possible in this busy old life we live!

Day 122 here. Largely things are getting easier and there are many days that pass where alcohol doesn’t even cross my mind. I am comfortable discussing my sobriety and have been met with positive responses so far. I came as close as I have ever been last weekend when I attended a reggae festival. The sun was shining and the drinks were flowing and doing a festival sober was something I had no experience in whatsoever. I started to reason with myself that I had done so well and one drink/ day wouldn’t get me back to where I was again. When we got to the bar I thought I would start by ordering a soft drink and see how things went. The later it got and the more time that passed, the less I wanted to drink. The music sounded better (UB40 were fantastic) and I still danced for 2 hours and felt like I was really in the moment. Looking back it was a close call but it has shown me that I am clearly serious about being sober and it’s quite a relief to be honest. I’m still apprehensive about future events, Xmas etc but we just have to take it as it comes and hope we come out fighting! Anyway, I’ll shut up now.

Wishing everyone a healthy and happy weekend x

Lovely update @Gratitude24 thank you for sharing ❤️

Day 9 of August ticked off here too @CoffeeLover90. I had that thought, quite briefly today and managed to distract from it. Did 30 minutes on the treadmill and had a couple of glasses of juice instead. I’ve not slept well this week but I’m looking forward to waking up tomorrow without a hangover and that awful feeling of dread.

That’s really good to hear @Gratitude24 and it’s interesting how deferring the decision really helps. Like a version of not today, but you can tomorrow if you must, and then repeat.

It was a bit of a struggle for me today. But I distracted with podcasts and baking (brownies, genuinely!) and now I am sitting here really grateful that I’m not a bottle of wine down, opening another one and knowing tomorrow would be horrible and all the things I am looking forward to being an endurance test instead.

@TimesaChangeling #bakingbrowniesNOTdrinkingwine
Doesn’t have the same ring but the sentiment is there!
I’m also feeling pleased with myself today. Got up feeling refreshed not ill, it makes such a difference to the way my day goes. Not wasting the weekend on negative thoughts and regret.

I’m about half way through the Matthew Perry book and he’s deep into his addiction. Makes me so grateful I “only” have alcohol to worry about. He had pancreatitis at age 30. The doctors said it was caused by alcohol and he was so deep in denial he left the hospital rather than admit that was true. I’m finding it a really sad read. Like his whole life was an internal struggle of emotions never being met. I totally relate.

I’m so annoyed with myself. Had a really nice day but spent most of it fantasising about drinking wine tonight. Why? I was so happy to wake up sober today. Why can’t I switch it off? Why can’t I just be happy without alcohol? Why do I want it?

Hopefully now I’ve had a bit of a rant I’ll be able to put these feelings behind me and not drink tonight but I just feel cross. Like when does it get easier? If not after 10 days and not after 30 days and not after 44 days (my pb) then when? A hundred? I just can’t see myself ever reaching that.

Is my destiny to keep going round in this dry circle until I drink and then try again? Is this it forever?