New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

Catching up with the latest messages
Good luck today @EastCoastDamsel - do what you need to do. Playing with kids, helping out and napping upstairs are all great ideas and also can you give yourself permission to just LEAVE if you need. Being sober is like looking after a tiny baby and it needs holding and prioritising and feeding in the same way.

Shout out to @Womanshour - am regretting that I'm not there with you in 100 days but always inspired but your mental strength.

@livingalivelife I think you are incredibly for having a moment but not lapsing. That's real strength. X

Hello hello!

I am joining please.

I am 36 days sober today.

Horrendous family history and personal history of alcohol abuse.

I was a definite party girl in my 20s, transitioning to mummy wine culture type in my 30s. I'm 40 now and have quit drinking, hopefully for the last (but not the first) time.

Just checking in here for accountability. Love these supportive threads so thank you for being here ♥

Welcome @BigFatSoberLife!

36 days is fantastic - very well done.

Thanks for sharing some of your story which will resonate with many of us. This is a truly supportive thread and you'll get loads of help in your sober journey. Glad to have you with us.

Welcome @BigFatSoberLife
Ditto for me re mummy wine culture. We left the city for the country and there was bugger all to do. Party girls seek out the other boozers.
We moved last year to a house with a five minute drive to a huge multi cultural town. We have a corner shop too, luckily I don't need it daily like I used to 😁

I have just quaffed the orange tanquery af gin with bitter lemon. Delicious.

Thanks for the welcomes 💐

Welcome @BigFatSoberLife

Just an update on my event today. It went quite smoothly. I took our dogs with us as a distractiin but as they couldn't be let loose at the party and had to be kept separate it meant I needed to go put every 90 mins or so and give them a short 15-20 min walk.

Bloody brilliant excuse to get out of the situation when I needed a break.

I did feel quite awkward (for those who saw my early posts a week ago, one of the attendees was the person I upset a few weeks ago during a very drunken conversation and although I did apologise the following day it was all still quite awkward)

Anyway, no one batted an eye when they heard I have quit the booze, and in fact, there was a lovely couple there that I know only superficially who are also sober!

Am knackered now though after a 5mile run pre-part and multiple dog walks so off to make some toasties and tea for dinner and put my feet up!

@threeandmeandthedog

What a brilliant day you had. Massive hats off to you. A sober wedding, being present, a rekindled connection, walking home in the rain to your cats and dog.

That's a Richard Curtis movie kind of day - what a way to live life 👏👏👏👏💕💕

Day 7 done . Been a day of dog walking, gardening and tennis
wishing everyone a good week next week

Hello everyone. Hope you're all well. Sorry for the absence. DH going through a tough time and dd is in the last few days of GCSEs. I haven't drunk, and I'm so glad that hasn't even been an option. Sitting with the feelings though.... No wonder I was a daily drinker.

Good to see you @Blackberryblossom . Sorry you’re having a hard time. DS’s GCSEs ended on Friday, and it’s a huge relief when it happens. That “no wonder I used to drink” feeling is so bittersweet- relief that the drinking days are done, but life in all its mess goes on!

That does sound super stressful @Blackberryblossom . Good luck to DD for the last stretch. And strength to you with your DHs difficulties.

These made me smile today so I thought I'd share them with you all.

Flower from my garden to brighten your days 🎉

Lovely 💐 @EastCoastDamsel!

Checking in again. I think I miscounted yesterday as it was actually 37 days yesterday not 36, so 38 today. Not that it really matters but you know. Got to take the wins 😁

Morning - can I join for accountability please?

I'm on day 46, not sure what triggered the decision to stop really. I just, as others have said, felt sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I was easily getting through 4/5 bottles of wine a week, plus gin, and sometime more. High functioning - I hold down a pretty hefty job. I was fed up with wasted weekends, and worry over what I was doing to myself.

So far, so good. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it might be. I've found a few AF drinks I quite like (0% Peroni, orange tanqueray, botivo). I still quite tired tho'? Does that shift? Or is it just the reality of being 45? I'm also quite (very) overweight so am hoping going AF will help me to address that. I think I might look a bit less bloated, but I'm not sure. I still have my ruddy farmer's wife cheeks!

Anyway - looking forward to reading through this thread.

All very similar to me @SeasideRock although my trigger to stop is a little different / maybe a bit more dramatic.

I'm also in my 40s, always tired (but this seems to be easing off now) and gained too much weight over the past year.

I've been exercising more since quitting and also less bingeing on crap in the evenings. So I'm hopeful I will start to lose weight.

One thing at a time though. So no extreme diets (bad family history there too)

hello all, welcome to new sober ladies and also been a bit absent due to end of DD exams and general life stuff. did a big boozy reunion sober so pleased with that. big shout out to those who have done similar. i found that when i ordered an alcohol free beer ( corona zero with a wedge of lime is delicious!) people started telling me they should really cut down, even tho i really wasn't shouting about being sober. seems like it's on a lot of people's minds in their mid 50s. i did feel a bit quietly smug as still had a great time, chatted to everyone , clarity of thought and woke up next day clear headed. 

had a weird crave out of nowhere last night but treated it like a piece of sushi moving past on a conveyor belt and just watched that thought go by.

@ShyMaryEllen thanks for checking in about the liver test. i am taking your initial sage advice and giving it a period ( three months?) of sobriety before i do it as i'm scared and want to come at it from a position of strength. currently on day 52 but did an additional 20 days before a drunken day at a wedding. so am being strict and saying 52 not 72 days!

@SeasideRock your drinking pattern looks a bit like mine was. i was really fatigued up until a week or so ago. am still tired but think i feel a bit more energy coming through. what was interesting for me is trying to now work out how i feel and why with the alcohol out of the equation. i'm 54 , on HRT as had massive perimenopause anxiety and also in SSRIs after my dad died and daughter diagnosed with autism. i now wonder if the tiredness is due to meno or peri meno or life stress or what!!! but i do feel a lot better now im not drinking, especially mentally, which is helpful for starting to listen properly to my body and how its coping with all the hormone changes and stressors. i am a LOT less anxious.

@ShyMaryEllen also meant to say i hope you are feeling a bit better darling. marching tea towel knitting sounds extremely impressive. take care of yourself

and welcome @BigFatSoberLife you've come to right place. every single lady on here ROCKS and the vibe is brilliant - a real sober sisterhood that i'm proud to be part of.

Good morning,

Well done @EastCoastDamsel - great that the dogs helped you, and you've now faced your demons. Thankyou for the beautiful flowers.

Hello @Blackberryblossom and @Onewildandpreciouslife I've been sitting with the GCSE feelings too and am glad that's all done - DC is a different person and it's lovely to see them so relaxed now, and to feel I was present and did an OK job of supporting them.

@BigFatSoberLife i get the 38 days counting! well done.

Welcome @SeasideRock and congratulations on your amazing 46 days.This is a very supportive place and it's great to have you here. There's quite a bit of discussion of delayed weight loss upthread - it can take a while, and also cut yourself some slack for the amazing thing you are doing in being sober.

Hi @ponzusoup - and well done on dealing brilliantly iwth the social event. I love the sushi analogy for the craving - will use that one, thanks.

Have a great day. x

Welcome @SeasideRock ! I think when we drink too much, we blame the alcohol for lots of things, particularly tiredness. When we stop drinking, we need to think whether it might be something else instead- I was still knackered when I stopped drinking after a couple of months so went on HRT (I was in my early 50s). I felt so much better, and managed to get off the anti depressants I’d been on for a couple of years, but I have no idea whether it was sobriety or HRT that made the difference (or maybe a bit of both?).

Gorgeous flowers @EastCoastDamsel .

I am afraid that I had a stumble over the weekend and have had to reset the I Am Sober App.😢Because I'm on antibiotics it had the predictable effect and I was very, very sick. Serves me right. The dog looked after me, which only serves to make me feel guilty.

Sorry for letting the side down lads. Day 1 again for me.

Strength and love to all. xx

@REP22 you haven’t let anyone down. This is HARD. Glad to see you back and posting. Hope you’re starting to feel a bit better x

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife , you are very kind. That means a lot to me. Still feeling grim, but up and working and carrying on. xx