New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

5st is amazing WW you've done an epic job.

I on the otherhand feel like I've gained 5st since I stopped drinking. Can't keep away from the cards or the sugar.

At least I'm drinking though 🤪

Thank you for all for sharing your experiences of quitting alcohol and weight losses/gains. I have had to conclude from this small straw poll that we are all different and no one can predict my weight loss, if any.
That's ok because it tells me that there is no "normal" loss to expect. That has taken the pressure off a bit, so thank you.
On a positive note, my weight loss has rocketed to 2lbs today!
I will be checking for cellulite loss and in answer to the question about my fitness, I don't do any strength work. Is that something that's a good idea? I've never fancied it and I'm sure I've never had a core!
Thank you all for making me so welcome.

Evening all,

Hope all is well x

@GrannyOfDragons - strength work is hugely beneficial - have a look at body weight exercises first, like squats, and then add in some dumbbells / kettlebells if you fancy it. Really helpful for weight loss (and tone).

I've had a work lunch and a work dinner today - didn't have alcohol at either 🥳🥳🥳🥳

Morning all and welcome @GrannyOfDragons Have you read Claire Pooley's book? She talks about not losing weight for ages, then it starting to come off. It takes a while, and also maybe cut yourself some slack? one thing at a time ..

Sorry you're feeling rubbish @HappyAsAGrig I hope you get some improvement from stopping the painkillers, but also that that doesn't leave you in too much pain. it's so hard to know with quitting booze what is physical and what is psychic pain.

sorry about the interview @WendyWagon hope there's progress soon.

i'm ok. pretty flat. struggling all the pesky feelings being AF requires me to feel. often feel like i don't want to.

love to all.

@livingalivelife I'm with you on not wanting to feel all the feelings. I've been hit with a horrid wave of anxiety the last few days, can't sleep etc. Just sticking with it.

There have been good feelings (since stopping) as well which I wouldn't have had if I had added booze to the mix.

Hope you're OK x

Morning all.
I've checked for @GrannyOfDragons and the bulk of the weight came off in year two (20kgs). My son who's an athlete suggested I would be finished by my 60th at the end of next year. He was dead against me giving a kidney or having weight loss surgery. He thought I'd die.
I didn't want to be skinny just a 14/16. I love tailored clothes so Hobbs, LKBennet. Although they both make larger sizes now they didn't. I use to go to our designer village to stroke the clothes. I am hoping for a shopping spree in the autumn!
Off to my cousin's in the Surrey hills today.
I'm taking my marks botanical. Lemon and rosemary. She's a big drinker. The foods great though so I'll scoff that.
Have a good day x

morning lovely ladies. day 40 here. can sympathise with those feeling groggy and anxious it comes and goes but am reminding self that this is a journey that is unlikely to be straightforward.

hang on in there ladies one day at a time.

and welcome @GrannyOfDragons i also have been disappointed with weight loss as was drinking thousands of extra calories a week. decided to make an effort to drink more water and finally do some of the online exercise classes i've been avoiding as i don't really like exercise! love walking the dog tho so keeping that going too.

and well done @NextPhaseOfLife for managing booze free work gigs that's a tough one.

@Womanshour @livingalivelife @HappyAsAGrig @Crunchymum special shout out as you manage difficult feelings without alcohol. that's a VERY tough one

@Loubelle70 swimming lessons sound ace - good luck

@WendyWagon enjoy the nice food in the surrey hills

@ShyMaryEllen @Itsrainingten i also think our age, menopause, post meno etc are all in the mix regarding weight. i'm trying to view my sober journey as different to my weight loss journey as am worried that failure at the latter will make me abandon the former.

anyway, dog walk beckons. not working today. youngest DD needs a serious op she doesn't want to have do need to gird my loins to talk to her tonight ahead of another meeting with the surgeon next week

Thank you @ponzusoup and @WendyWagon that's good to know it was later. Apparently I've not drank over 55000 calories in booze over the 3 months so clearly I've managed to replace this! Hopefully I'll have some weight loss later.

I also agree with @livingalivelife one thing at a time and for me stopping the booze is most important x

@ponzusoup good luck with your daughter. I totally agree they should be separate journeys x

That was my first thought - why aren’t I thin now??? 110 days without two bottles of wine a day, surely I should be thinner?

I’m still the same old addictive personality I was before, but now it’s biscuits. It’s so frustrating. I didn’t even like sweet things!

Wishing everyone a gentle day today xx

Yes, I don't understand why cutting so many calories hasn't caused weight to drop off. You could well be right about life stage, @ponzusoup - as if getting older isn't bad enough😀.

They are separate issues though (weight and booze). I know that being overweight is bad for the liver, but it's not as bad as a constant assault from alcohol. I need to cut sugar. I know that, but I'm not sure how, as it's in so much.

My thoughts are with those who are facing medical issues with their children. It's horrible when our babies are suffering, however old they are.

@HappyAsAGrig it's ridiculous!!! But without stopping I would have continued to gain so at least there is that!!

Thank you @NextPhaseOfLife for the exercise suggestions. I've researched YouTube for some ideas.
Also thanks to @livingalivelife for the book suggestion.
@ponzusoup and others have quite properly pointed out that the quitting is more important than the losing weight and I feel less pressure on me now. I am not buying sweets etc and have been making other treats eg Greek yoghurt cake to stop me getting desperate for sugar but otherwise, just trying to eat low carb ish.
@WendyWagon, I agree a comfy 14/16 would be great. I would look a lot smarter!
Day 22 today. Ran my normal 5k. It's a lot more enjoyable without a hangover and a churning stomach!
Friendliest thread on Mumsnet. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

https://www.youtube.com/anniedeadman

can i recommend this lady's free workouts on you tube. she also runs paid for sessions online if you google her but check out the freebies as she aims her weight based workouts at us mid life women. i really like her.

also just read a quote from chris evans ago is celebrating his first soberversary this week. he said something along the lines of ' alcohol starts off all fun and no problems, then some fun and some problems, then all problems and no fun. at that point it's time to stop'. really resonated with me

well done on the 5k runs @GrannyOfDragons very impressive!

@ponzusoup hope your daughter is ok. Well done for handling the stress of all that without alcohol.
@GrannyOfDragons I'm impressed at your 5k running. I exercise quite a bit, always classes though, like body pump (weights) and combat which is cardio and circuits which is both, so I thought I was pretty fit.
Until yesterday when I decided I'd do a 5k run while my kids were in a class. OMG I apparently have no stamina AT ALL. I had to stop and walk so many times and actually gave up at 4.5k! I somehow found myself back at the carpark and took it as a sign to sit in the car and wait out the rest of their class time there. 😂

morning all. i'm committing to 20 mins exercise a day and more water. i'm feeling groggy and dehydrated and the thought of a summer holiday without alcohol is on my mind a lot. i'm convincing myself that drinking for 2 weeks on holiday abroad doesn't count. also stressed with work kids and elderly parents. claire pooley did say that the 60 day mark is notorious for thoughts of relapse. i'm 60 days minus a drunken wedding there or there abouts. on another note i'm proud of us for being described as the friendliest thread on mumsnet. go us!!

@ponzusoup I remember having the same debate this time last year about my first sober summer holiday. I did it sober in the end and it was one of my best holidays.

I slept so well even though it was really hot

I woke early but clear headed and really enjoyed the start to my days in new and different places.

The start to the days were gentle, relaxed and calm

I was present for my children and friends

My two friends really enjoy a drink and I think they drank less as I wasn’t drinking . It was surprisingly ok watching them booze and I didn’t miss it hugely (there were moments but…)

I set a good example for my kids and they didn’t see me drunk- this was a biggy as I have 3 teens and the eldest is really curious about drinking and I think she has take. Her cues from me in the past and my crappy example so it was good to do better for her

i didn’t waste opportunities due to my hangovers and I enjoyed and made the most of the places I visited

I saved a load of money as I wasn’t drinking

I went home properly rested and relaxed and not knackered after two weeks of daily drinking

It was hard to contemplate at the time and I had the same debate in my head. It stared really doing my head in. It reminded me of trying to moderate and it took over my thoughts. In the end it helped, as it does now, to take it one day or moment at a time and commit to not drinking in that moment, hour, day etc. I am really looking forward to it this year.

Just wanted to add that there were several times when a glass of wine or champagne or whatever would have been really lovely. But I had to be honest with myself and remind myself of the reality, that for me it’s hardly ever just a glass, it’s a bottle plus… and I know how that ends….

Morning all.
That first summer holiday is hard @ponzusoup but can you park worrying about it until it happens? I’m guessing it’s still about a month away if you have school age kids, so you could be 60 or 70 days sober by then and in a completely different place mentally.
And sober holidays are amazing! Early morning swims and coffee before anyone else is up are magic.
Sorry to hear about all the stress- being sandwiched between children and elderly parent issues is brutal

Morning, am I ok to join? I am only Day 4 AF after knowing I need to stop for months (maybe even years) and just not facing the reality.

Finally a very drunken conversation, where I really upset and hurt someone made me realise that enough was enough. Initially I only committed to 90 AF but knew I would struggle with that so downloaded The Naked Mind and joined the Reframe app to help support it and very soon (really by D2) realised that I want to be AF forever.

It's really early days I know but I am determined to do the work and to show up for myself