New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

@ShyMaryEllen kombucha maybe? Sometimes that comes in wine type bottles. Or a fancy tonic water?

Thanks, @Itsrainingten . I drink Kombucha in the day. I like it, but would prefer something a bit different for the evening. I think it has to have sugar in, anyway, as it's fermented. Tonic water is a good shout - some of the Fevertree ones are nice. The Mediterranean one and the Cucumber one in particular.

oldjamaicagingerbeer.com/

the light ginger beer is delicious over ice with lime slices and sugar free

https://www.naturalcollection.com/shop/la-brewery-english-rose-kombucha---750ml-by-la-brewery/?utmsource=AFW&utmmmedium=affiliate&utmcampaign=AFW&awc=365001715515145_dd3397c0b62020e333a4011bcfd6eb24#mz-expanded-view-571989776310

i have also just ordered this.

i find the AF fizz / wine really horrible and far too sweet unless i'm ordering the wrong one.

It's via my Fitbit, @ponzusoup

It calculates the time you spent in different stages of sleep.

I really like seeing the data.

I've attached a screen shot of last night, vs one a few days weeks ago after a bottle of wine on a Friday.

You can see that alcohol-free sleep has far more REM, which is dreaming and very important, whereas the drink sleep also have lots of restlessness and less deep sleep too,

very interesting @NextPhaseOfLife about the sleep. thanks for sharing. i'm beginning to see that lots of benefits lie ahead if we can do this long term.

Agreed, @ponzusoup - I began stopping because of vanity - too much wine leads to too much weight. But as I'm progressing, I care much more about health and wellbeing.

Hopefully the weight might come off too, though!

@Loubelle70 personally I would avoid a pudding with alcohol in that isn't cooked off. I have seen someone (young women who doesn't drink) getting rosy cheeked after a puddy like that. But we are all different so if it feels fine for you then go for it.

I had a real craving for wine yesterday. Hot day, anniversary meal, dh said 'it's almost a shame your not drinking there so many here for you!' (He wasn't been cruel he has his own issues with alcohol).

I didn't drink. The thought that is really helping me right now is one is never enough. My desperation to keep drinking is always where I am embarrassing or embarrassed.

After that (brief) moment I had a lovely evening, slept so well and got up early for a run. I'm not fit enough to go far (yet) but it was just so beautiful I felt a rush of happiness and could have cried.

I'll be 70 days on Monday and it's taken time to feel the benefits but I'm starting to, and I feel so bloody grateful.

@WendyWagon your work sounds brutal. I hope the interview goes well and most importantly the company is better.

Hope you've all had good weekends. X

Thankyou for the advice, im not that desperate for it so im going to make today a salted caramel banana cheesecake, no tiramisu 👍...im still not sure so this is best way atm.

'The thought that is really helping me right now is one is never enough. My desperation to keep drinking is always where I am embarrassing or embarrassed.' this is exactly me....im with ya. Well done!!!! Great considering your OH drinks. Really good going xxx

None of the AF wine is great, but for me breaking the habit was more important than the taste, and now I've got into the habit of drinking the fizz. I tend to get the Sainsbury's own brand stuff, which has changed recipe fairly recently and is now too sweet for me, too. If it's well chilled it's not too unlike Prosecco, and IMO it's really only the first glass of most wines that actually tasted good anyway - after that I was chasing the buzz.

I have a few bottles of AF gin in the sideboard that I've been given for presents. I think I'll switch to that for a while, and get used to having one or two drinks in the evening instead of working my way through a bottle.

@Womanshour well done on getting through a sunny anniversary party and on your 70 days. totally awesome !

first sober gig last night ! was really good. gigs are my happy place and i have never been to one sober ever, in 40 years!

how's everyone doing today?

That's brilliant @ponzusoup , I'm so glad you enjoyed the gig. It's a brave step, going to a first sober anything. That's really encouraging.

I am doing OK today, getting back into the swing of things. I have decided to re-engage more fully with the "I Am Sober" app on my phone (other versions are available - this one is free, though you can opt for a paid extra element/support). I've moved it to my phone's home screen and am engaging with it every day. As well as marking daily progress, it can also tell you how many calories you've saved and how much money you haven't spent.

@Womanshour congratulations on the 70 days, that's awesome. Glad the benefits are starting to kick in. The benefits definitely outweigh the temporary lull of the toxins, but that's hard to keep in mind in the moments when temptation is high.

Love and strength to you all. We can do it. xx

thanks @REP22 i've just downloaded that app. good to see the calorie and money savings although i've just succumbed to far too much dark chocolate

Good morning all
I'm sorry I've been awol the last few days. Life is very busy with DCs with exams plus the usuals, but I'm enjoying feeling that i'm being a much better mum than i would be if i was feeling hungover every morning.

Hello to new and newish posters @freshstart321 @Talulah98 @Loubelle70

I hope work stuff is working out @WendyWagon

@Onewildandpreciouslife that's great advice - getting to the end of the day sober in bed with a herbal tea 'happy tired after a long day'. And about finding washing up etc at social events without booze. it's OK to find it hard at social events isn't it? took me a long time to ease up on myself about this.

day 69.

@livingalivelife this is my big motivator- being a present Mum and a better mum. One of my DC is starting treatment today for a tumour which has reoccurred, and being sober, present and available for him and his sisters is the best I can do. Despite having to deal with Ex-DH on a daily basis of late after having had very minimal contact with him for a long time ( which is a real trigger for reaching for the wine bottle) I have been able to ride out the moments when I think fuck it- I want a drink. I have just been for a long run which has cleared my head and is another thing I would have sacked off with a hangover. So despite life being a bit of a shit show at the moment, it’s less of a shit show than it would be if I was using alcohol as a way to try and escape it all.

@threeandmeandthedog kudos to you for kicking the alcohol to the kerb with everything you have going on. It would be easy to succumb but you would feel so much worse. Take care of yourself and I hope your DC's treatment is successful. Thinking of you & your family x

@threeandmeandthedog be very proud of yourself and sending you strength and love. you sound like an amazing mum.

Afternoon lads.
@threeandmeandthedog good luck to your DC.

All quite on the western front. I am not very mobile, a horrid day yesterday.
The BFF has gone out with her new beau.
First time in 17 years I haven't not celebrated her birthday with her. I'm not up to it so I shall watch countdown instead!
Probably wise as she has taken up boozing again.

Sorry to hear about your son, @threeandmeandthedog . All best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery.

That's a pain about your friend @WendyWagon . It's so much easier if people around you don't drink, but if you can force yourself to get used to it, it will pay off in the long run. It's not easy sitting with someone sipping a glass of wine when you've got a soda water though.

I've been for an ultrasound today. I explained the fibroscan situation to the radiographer, and she fully understood my point of view. There's nothing much she can do, as her role is simply to interpret the US scan, and the consultant (whom I have never met) gets to make a diagnosis. She has, however, agreed to put in her report that the US should be read in conjunction with the fibroscan I had in April, and that I am aware of its result. I usually get a letter saying bog all after an US - they are invariably on the lines of 'your US scan shows no cancer, ascites or other worrying developments' - but I hope that this one will have more information. Either way, my plan is to alert my GP as soon as the letter arrives and ask him to intervene. The radiographer confirmed that it is all but impossible to get medical notes changed once a diagnosis has been made, but I would like a note to go on my file to say that my condition has been confirmed as fibrosis rather than cirrhosis as of April, which she thinks may be possible.

Don't let this happen to you. If you are able to get off this road now with no (or limited) damage, please do it? Nobody knows which drink, which 'just one this time', which fall off the wagon will be the one to tip them into permanent damage. I've been lucky in some ways in that I was able to stop, and I feel better now than for years before I did, but the only way to be sure that you won't join the queue for regular endoscopies, scans, blood tests and all the rest that goes with a diagnosis of cirrhosis (and it can get a lot worse than I have experienced - the later stages involve fluid drains, tube feeding, strong laxatives, dementia-like symptoms and more) is to stop drinking now.

@ShyMaryEllen thanks for the update and huge respect to you for sharing this with us. as you know i am worried about liver damage and am waiting for more months of sobriety to get it checked. i am terrified hence my utter respect to you for your honesty and advice. i hope you manage to negotiate a change to your records. i wonder if the patient advice and liaison scheme (PALS) which every hospital / gp service has can support or advise you.

alcohol is a very sneaky chemical. i am so glad you feel better as you continue your sober journey and that you are getting evidence that things are ok for you health wise.

Please could someone more experienced tell me how I will know when we are getting the the thread max and need to think about a new thread?
Many thanks.

1000 posts is the maximum

I’ve reached a new and exciting realisation - I don’t drink.

Not “I’m not drinking,” but just that I don’t. I used to, I stopped, and I don’t want to restart. This is an entirely new feeling. I like it. I feel lighter, less constrained.

@HappyAsAGrig that's wonderful. how freeing.