I definitely used to be a problem binge drinker. Regularly drank to blackout levels on a night out and that would happen every few weeks. Have been a lot better at moderating the last few years for the most part. Did have one night at a wedding where I drank too much and actually fell asleep at the table (after the meal thank god) a year or 2 ago and last NYE at a party I had a very patchy memory the next morning. Yesterday was my work Christmas party. I had 4 drinks (wine) and really honestly wasn't that drunk. I have no memory loss, didn't do anything stupid (well I was probably boring people with repetitive chat, but nothing too awful) and got home at a reasonable time. I actually was pleased with myself for having a diet coke as my 5th drink meaning I stopped at the 4th glass of wine. But then this morning I was absolutely riddled with anxiety. Almost as bad as when I've binged to blackout levels. I don't know why. And I've realised that I'm just not good at moderation. I DID stop. But I should have stopped at 2 really.
I know there is a genetic element to addiction and both my parents are / were alcoholics. 1 sadly drank themselves to death in their 40s, the other is still with us and I'd class them as a "functional alcoholic" so I'm sure I do have a tendency to not be able to control my alcohol use. So really I want to know - should I just stop? I should, shouldn't I? And if so how? I suffer from anxiety generally and it's always worse when I drink, but then at social events I'm anxious so I DO drink. It's a bit of a vicious cycle really.
I don't want to have to explain myself to anyone, but if I don't say anything then how do I still go to social events? And what CAN I drink? I really hate sweet drinks like juice / lemonade etc.
Also and I know this is really stupid but I feel like I'd like to be able to have a glass of 2 of champagne at special events like Christmas day or a wedding (not just a night out though, genuinely special events) but is that a bad idea? What do I do? Thank you