Day 2

[Wantofeelgood]

That’s it really. Inspired by people on here. Holding myself to account on here, if that’s ok.
just reminding myself for when I want to cave - I’m permanently exhausted, down, ashamed. Feel ill getting fatter. Stuck. Tingling heavy fingers, arthritis kicking in, skin crap. Sleep crap- wake every 2 hours. Not achieving anything. Cook , drink, Fall asleep in front of tv. Every.single.night. Exhausted in the morning.
id like to have a juice or vitamin pill each day to aid health, instead I’m drinking each day to aid illness. Wtf. Also on anti estrogen pills to stop cancer. And what does alcohol do? Exactly.
first day 2 in a LONG time, a year at least.

Two weeks, yay!

Well done 👏🏻

Thanks tilly vanilli!
day 15 done. Golly.
I've sudenly really plummeted in mood. I’m wondering if it’s alcohol related, or just stuff related. No likey! Maybe it’s kidney killers way of tempting a girl.

Got to 21 days!
Caved yesterday, doh. Everyone else out, hurrah! Afraid half a bottle open. Irritated with myself today as I feel noticeably sluggish. Darn it!
But am pleased, my self identity a an af person is gaining strength, so that is good.
also aware that day 19 of any new habit tends to be the day you quit.
so I choose to say,’well done’ you know how rubbish it makes you feel! Let’s keep going and enjoy that energy and getting stuff done ness’
No More Booze, fruit! Water! Yoga!

Yay a.f.night!
pleased because it’s amazing how quickly the old ‘time for a drink’ feelings return.
discovered cold coffee is a good choice. Also chatted to a friend who says he still goes to aa. As when you think you’ve got it licked, it’s strikes. Scary words!

A.f. Night! The I want a drink feelings are back so..eat loads, don’t get stressed, drink cold black coffee with ice. Avoid DH. For some reason he’s exhausting me atm.

Hi just been reading your threads and wanted to say welldone!! Hope you don't mind

Gosh no, welcome! Though why you’d want to read this is beyond me! And thanks for the well done. I hope you are achieving on the a.f. Front! - if you are wanting to that is. 👍

Ps that’ll be four days tonight! I’ve just eaten my body weight in bread and primula cheese spread ( yum!) so couldn’t face any more anything! My secret plan is working 😀

Well you're definitely an inspiration to a lot of people right now so keep it up! I'm going to keep checking in to see how you're doing. Sending hugs and a pat on the back! X

Cheese = calcium
Just thinking of your bone health!!!!

Oh my goodness kelsie that’s very kind of you ! Not sure I am, but your post is super encouraging. If my witterings encourage you, that’s amazing and brilliant. Please join in if you’d like to, we can encourage each other.
tilly you do make me laugh! I can no longer find my bones, buried as they are under piles of cheese induced delights. Exercise next..Baby steps!
and a confession.. had a half glass of DHs red ethanol, eww eww! Was so delighted it was HORRIBLE!!!!

..and I didn’t even drink half of it. In the past I’d have drunk past the horrible till it tasted ok. So that, I think is massive progress. Go me! Go everyone else who is gaining small wins x

Confession time.
sat 3rd DH cracks open champagne as I’m cooking. Agh! I crack under pressure, but Sunday the kidney killer is whispering in my ear, on Monday he gets louder and DH and I talk ourselves into a bottle - we are both struggling over stuff. And today I cook a super easy early tea and eat a mars bar instead. Yay!
the good thing about sort of stopping is it bangs home to you how crap wine is. You don’t sleep, you feel vague and lacking energy the next day. Your mood dips noticeably. Odd things happen to your digestive system. And worse.. it then takes a few days to a) recover the same happy vibes and b) it gives the kidney killer a direct line.
not good! How many times am I going to slip up? I’m noticing that I’m kidding myself. Time to get back on the app/ count days on here. And definitely time to remind myself I’m a super cool healthy fit woman, of the sort I admire. All slim and cheekbones off to burning man. Ha!

You are doing so well you know! So you have a slip up now and again but they will become few and far between I'm sure.

@Kelsie78 is right, @Wantofeelgood
You've had a slip up but you've got back on it

And each time you learn about your triggers

The main thing is not to think sod it, and carry on drinking, when you have a slip up

After all, if you drop your phone, you don't then stamp on it, do you?

Hello guys! Thank you for posting, its so nice to hear friendly voices as it were!
Thanks both of you, I am certainly hoping the slip ups will get /are getting less.
And yes, I am learning more and more about triggers.
The phone comment has made me laugh! I continually drop, smash and drown phones at a rate of knots !
Did some thinking. (self indulgent stuff coming here) - One of the things I enjoy and want more of is 'fun' ..so.. anything that isnt fun is to be dealt with - like having a hangover, that's no fun at all, and certainly less fun than trudging to the shop, buying and drinking a bottle of splosh. hang on, that doesnt sound fun either tbh! So fun would be..curling up with a good book and staying sober.
I've just locgicked myself out of booze!
Off to have a fun cuppa as a celebration of my genius! Have a super day, and thank you x

Good for you. I'm so jealous. My husband and I were both alcohol dependent and he liked weed as well. He's absolutely clean now and I'm not even nearly there yet. He woke up the other day full of life and looking forward to the day, literally bouncing around and I was pulling the duvet over my head and telling him to F off but I told him that he was so lucky

I really, really do need help

There's a thread in alcohol support, called on a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining
Join it, lots of help there

Good advice off tilly I read a lot of the threads - it kind of has a cumulative effect.
If it helps, Am also learning that it’s really useful to be very very supportive to me. Now instead of saying, ‘I haven’t cleaned the kitchen ( or I haven’t managed not to drink) I’m so rubbish and lazy etc etc’ I say, ‘well done! You’ve put the cheese away!’ Or ‘well done! You’ve gone an evening/ hour/ten minutes (whatever you can manage) feeling healthy ‘
It’s funny but being super encouraging sort of encourages you. Obviously it takes a few times for it to start to take effect, and obviously you’re allowed to ck up, otherwise it’s too much pressure on you. Hope this helps. But definitely read the threads tilly suggests, very wise advise on there.

Not sure why it’s gone bold! That’ll be me c**king it up 😀

No that's you instinctively highlighting an important bit

😂👍