Day 2

[Wantofeelgood]

That’s it really. Inspired by people on here. Holding myself to account on here, if that’s ok.
just reminding myself for when I want to cave - I’m permanently exhausted, down, ashamed. Feel ill getting fatter. Stuck. Tingling heavy fingers, arthritis kicking in, skin crap. Sleep crap- wake every 2 hours. Not achieving anything. Cook , drink, Fall asleep in front of tv. Every.single.night. Exhausted in the morning.
id like to have a juice or vitamin pill each day to aid health, instead I’m drinking each day to aid illness. Wtf. Also on anti estrogen pills to stop cancer. And what does alcohol do? Exactly.
first day 2 in a LONG time, a year at least.

4 days is good. It's 4 days you didn't drink
Every day deserves a pat on the back

You need help.

I'm afraid that this thread just shows you can't do it on your own.

What are you going to do differently?

Day 6 done!

Woohoo!

Nearly a week!

Tilly* you are a star! ⭐️ thank you.
fusioncheffthanks for the scary message. Am definitely using more support.
Im very wary of my inner voice now. It thinks it’s protecting me so I need to be very kind to it and thank it for its concern, but Im now officially giving it a new job - to protect me from ethanol.
Thanks inner voice! You can do that, you know you can, you need to do that now to protect us.
thanks Paul Mc Kenna!

@Wantofeelgood it's a good point @FusionChefGeoff makes. Do you need more structured support?

Hi @Wantofeelgood well done on six days. Have you been able to get any additional support? Sometimes telling someone what you are doing helps? Or an external agency like AA? You don’t have to white-knuckle it yourself.

What have been the triggers for drinking the previous times you have quit? Write them down and come up with other things you will do to deal with that stress instead of drinking.

Thank you SO a much five cows .
the below is notes for me really, to reinforce what I am doing that works.no need to read! But I do say thank you a lot for all the help. 💐
Im following the advice kindly put on here and on the other thread. reading and listening to everything I can, especially medical stuff - I’m basically scaring myself sober.
meditating, getting out for walks, all the advice posted.
ive decided I just don’t drink. It’s not for me. I’m paying it forward 🙂 never mind tomorrow, I m now working with elderly people and I REALLY don’t want to be old and ill and stiff and sloshed.
I went to an online AA which was ok, maybe I’ll try a different one.
huberman (?) said if you’ve really stopped you don’t need to be counting the days, which is true, but for now..anyway day 8! I passed a week without noticing👍
also know now that this is just the very beginning and yes, I really understand that ethanol man is waiting to trip people up.
thank you sooo much.

Oh @Wantofeelgood i am so pleased you’re accessing some support and went to an online meeting. How was it? Well bloody done, admitting you need a hand isn’t easy but will help you so much.
I know my triggers - stressed, especially if there are people in my home (in-laws visit, anyone?)😂, worn out and need to take care of myself but feel there’s no time, and the WORST- feeling like I deserve a ‘treat’ or a ‘celebration’ and thinking alcohol is the best way to do that. I have a response for myself for each trigger, so I have an automatic go-to in each situation, including giving myself total permission to bugger off to my bedroom for a few hours of the guests are getting too much, or taking some time out from family responsibilities for a long hot bath and a Pepsi max, or buying a gorgeous candle or bunch of flowers just for me to say well done.

make a list like that for yourself.

so proud of you. Keep going xxx

fivecows thank you again for your support.
again, random musings, no need to read! Except the first bit..
An actual thought about list of triggers and solutions..what a brilliant idea.
there!
Too ofteni, and I suspect many others, don’t realize I’m tired, overwhelmed etc until it’s too late. I’m learning to observe more closely. a 5 minute meditation - you’re right it helps a lot to learn about self. And little de stress moments through the day help enourmously, so you are not a human pressure cooker.
well done for giving yourself permission to escape for a while. Like you I would have only soldered on, then be mentally drained and need a large g and t.
its so simple, and I’m sure no one feels hard done by or upset when you vanish. But they do notice the refreshed and jolly you, I bet! Clever stuff.
day 9, but I’m not counting!
definitely energy and happiness is returning.
Looking at rows of cheap vinegary poison in the shop, with its pink pretty designer bottles. Garish and falsely alluring to disguise the overpriced vinegar and slug vomit within.
cheery thought!

Slug vomit...? Explain ☺️

Hello toptilly I’m trying to convince myself it’s awful stuff, and that’s the worst image I could come up with - slugs..eewww.
as a student I tippytoed into the kitchen late at night for a secret greedy feats and without my glasses on I thought,‘someone’s dropped a gherkin’ and picked it up. Eew eew eeewwww!

fwiw, it works the other way too - totally relaxing and imagining you are on a warm beach, you can feel the sun, smell the sea, hear the waves..if you can really embrace it, you don’t notice you are being prodded and poked. I got hypnotized with first child, amazing stuff thoroughly recommend. I thought about training and offering it to nervous patients.

Hope you’re feeling goood💐

Ohhhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣

In some cultures, slug vomit is an expensive delicacy 🤭

Noooooooooooooo!

No 🤭

Well not that I know of...

It wouldn’t suprise me! On the back of your cheekiness, I’ve found this
https://www.hostelworld.com/blog/the-50-weirdest-foods-from-around-the-world/
yum!

I wish I hadn't clicked....!!!

A slug vomit free Day 11! Woop woop!
hope that didn’t put you off your tea tilly 🙂

Well done!

Nothing puts me off my tea

Hello, me again.
notes for me, so maybe a bit dull/ self-indulgent. I’d write them in a notebook, but I’ll lose it. Also like if it’s public it’s more accountable! So no need to read!

Day 13 finished last night, huzzah!
im calling the Wine Witch the Kidney Killer (calling it the Wine Witch was too friendly!). Thanks to wonderful poster’s, I’m now aware it’s now going to come and out and be all persuasive- ‘jusssttt one, you can moderate..’ etc. so THANK YOU a for the warning.
Kidney Killer emerged yesterday and very luckily the opened bottle of vinegary slugs vomit and ethanol (also used as industrial cleaning fluid) somehow didn’t appeal! YAY.
also paying it forward as suggested and planning escapes/ treats- thanks fivecows a lovely sober Sunday so I can do some of my hobby as a treat, yaaayyyy.

@Wantofeelgood well bloody done. Enjoy every moment of your Sunday, if you can, take a few moments to take some deep breaths and reflect on what you are gaining, and what you are losing, being alcohol free.

Yes, the whispers of the Wine Witch , or Kidney Killer - they’re lies. They’re the voice of addiction and they can sometimes whisper pretty loudly. Distract yourself, by the minute if needed, and they’ll shut up.

Keep going. We’re a silent army behind you and cheering you on xxx

Gosh thanks for posting - just at the right time as well! It’s raining, DH is sitting by the fire with a glass and some cheese. I’m hiding upstairs while I lock mr kidney killer in a cupboard.

P.s. gaining..noticeably more energy! Better mood! Hard cash! Two weeks tonight.