Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

That really is an awesome and inspiring weightloss!"

Sorry for my silence. I have been away with my parents looking after my mother who has been taken ill. It is very very very triggering and I have not managed to stay dry. So I will lurk and read until I can come back properly.

@NewLifeHappyLife so sorry to hear this and no wonder you have had a drink. Definitely stay with us. All your dry days still count and you can re-start for a new streak when you are ready.

Thank you @BoilingHotand50something ❤

Hello everyone, I am sliding into thread with the intention of stopping this month. I’m using my local stopping drug taking service to help so have a few meetings this week to come up with action plan. Mum motivation and want is very high but im
not hugely confident. I’m drinking about a bottle of wine a day currently.

Welcome @Haggisfish3 - many of us were at similar levels. No judgement here and sounds like you have some good support being put in place too.

Hello 👋 @Haggisfish3

It sounds like we are at a similar point in our journey.
I've had an initial phone appointment with the local service. I have another on 16th.
Bit nervous. How are you feeling about it?

Just waiting on blood test results from the GP.

I have only 15% of my stomach left after surgery and I also take anti psychotics/ anti depressants/ mood stabilisers. So Im really hoping ive not caused any ill effects 🤞

Welcome @Haggisfish3 and any other returners/new starters I've missed.

I'm going to give hynotherapy a try. I'm going with the brief to make healthy living a subconscious choice rather than a conscious battle! I will report back in if it makes it come more naturally 😂I'm not short of cheating my way to a healthier life.

@Yocal will be interested to hear how you get on. I used Clear Minds Hypnotherapy. I only used it once - you are meant to listen to it several times. I found it quite powerful but then I had decided to stop anyway so who knows. It definitely helped in that it was a conscious step in the right direction that I paid for, so I felt it set me off well.

Wow @BoilingHotand50something 24lb in two months is exceptionally good. It's taken me almost four months to lose 21.5lb. Not on any diet in particular but no wheat (except for 1 small portion of wholewheat pasta about every 10 days), no refined sugar (fruit is fine), no trans or saturated fats, and red meat limitednto once or twice a week, and obs no alcohol. My biggest slip was Friday when I had crisps and an ice cream at the theatre.

@NewLifeHappyLife I'm sorry it's tough at the moment hang on in there.

DH and I went for a walk this afternoon, about 3.5 miles. Towards the end my back was aching dreadfully and once we had a cup of tea, I got an uber home and he walked. Feeling very cold and tetchy so hope I'm not going down with something. Nevertheless, I've popped a half leg of lamb in the oven which we'll have at about 7.15 and meanwhile I've retreated to the smart sitting room because I don't want to be interrupted or talked at.

The cats are very twitchy due to the fireworks. Apologies for having a moan up.

Just catching up. Welcome @Haggisfish3 feel free to lurk or pour your heart out. We are all listening and can all relate.

I’ve been really productive today, I just know I wouldn’t have managed it all with a hangover. I’m so much more patient and motivated when I’m not drinking much.

@SpringNotSprung I’ve been feeling under the weather for just over a week. Sinus pain, bit of a sore throat and a bit of a runny nose. Not bad enough to call in sick but there and not getting better. Hopefully this week I’ll shake it off. Hope you enjoy the lamb and feel better soon!

Please report back on the hypnotherapy @Yocal! I agree with whatever works!

@smegley I hope the blood work comes back ok, sounds like you are dealing with a lot, make sure you are being kind to yourself.

@NewLifeHappyLife sorry to hear about your Mum, sending you best wishes. Of course jump back on when you are ready ❤️

Day 7. Looking forward to better sleep which hasn’t happened yet. Still getting by, just, with 5 and a half or 6 hours a night. Hoping this will improve soon - I’m sure my mood would be better too if I wasn’t so tired. Find myself snapping at people at work then having to apologise. All this and not having my wine in the evening.
Sorry, pity fest over. Sun is shining. Going to walk the dog then off to work.
Hope everyone has a good week.

Hi all
Sorry I've not checked in. I found it easier not to think about alcohol all the time the last couple of weeks.
3 weeks sober now and having dreams. I had two this weekend where it was like I forgot that I wasn't drinking, alcohol was put in front of me and I drank it. Trying to remember it's just a dream but I've found myself considering whether I'll drink in future. I don't want to. Just weak moments.

Morning @Itsnotallalark, sleep is a tricky one. I think I’m in the minority that I seem to be in a coma as soon as my head hits the pillow. I know some others have found it really tough. @Thepeppapigfanclub in particular I think was still struggling even after a very long run of abstinence. What I would say though is think how crap sleep quality is after alcohol. I’m sure the quality of your sleep will be gradually improving, even if the quantity is lacking.

I started off the day feeling great and then slowing everything in my life drags me down. Kids with difficult behaviour. DH has a go at me about how I deal with them. There’s mess everywhere. I have 101 things on my ‘list of things to do’ and it doesn’t matter how hard I carve out time to progress them, they never get done.

I had a little cry. I just fantasise about being alone. Or being left alone. Everyone says kids get easier as they get older but I’m certain that’s a lie. Or maybe it does for some people. I’m not there yet. And wonder if I ever will be. Nothing about parenting is ‘easy’ for me. I’m constantly struggling. And I’m so tired of trying to keep going, chin up and all that, when all I really want to do is crawl back into bed and shut everything out.

Absolutely cannot do that today as both DH and I are wfh, so instead I’ll just crack on. Business as usual. The emotional drain of pretending I’m living a happy life when the reality is the opposite is just exhausting.

@mamaghina oh bloody kids, although I love mine. The problems change from the toddlerhoods where you can't go to the loo alone to the histrionics when they're dumped and nothing you say is ever right. I recall the angst in the car pre gcse results, then A'Level results and then hysterics about not graduating due to the shame of being listed 11th on the graduation roll because she only just scraped a 1st because 10 people had higher marks. Notwithstanding the scrape in her car and the other driver shouting at her that anyone would have thought was a pandemic level crisis.

I hear your pain. It does get better as they get more independent, their problems just get bigger and they still leave crumbs behind them.

Must do some bloody work - my in-box is groaning, probably full of whingeing adults with doctorates!

@MamaGhina at least you're talking honestly about this life. So many of us struggle with the same, but repress it or deny it.

Life should not be this hard. I just always try to take it back to nature when things feel too much. This culture we live in is way out of hand.

What do you do to decompress? Can you try get micro decompressions in throughout the day to release some pressure when it mounts?

I'm saying this, whilst looking outside, knowing a fresh air walk would sort me out, but feeling totally demotivated to do so. That's the trouble with stress.

Thank you both. Just stopped for lunch and I’ve 30+ WhatsApp messages to catch up on @Yocal. When I’m in the office I mute it but this morning I’ve felt it pinging away. It’s mostly stuff to do with the kids schools. It’s just bloody soul destroying.

What do I do to decompress apart from getting shitfaced? Well I do like to go for a run but must admit the dark evenings and the rain have put me off recently. Plus by the time I’ve finished work, picked the kids up and done dinner and bed I’m shattered 😭 I really must do it though because it’s another thing I feel guilty about when I let slide and I do feel the benefit when I do it regularly.

@SpringNotSprung I totally agree about the challenges changing over time rather than going away. Both of mine are under 10 so out of nappies but still need help with homework, do you have PE kit, taking to clubs, do you have your snack (which I make) etc etc. it just feels endless plus all the bloody PTA requests for this, that and the other. Don’t forget mufti day, don’t forget a bottle for the tombola and then add into that bloody brownies asking for donations for x and bring this on y. I just can’t keep up. I just want to press pause. I’m constantly fire fighting and can’t relax for a minute.

I don’t know what the solution is. I try so hard to be organised and keep on top of everything but ultimately when you’re juggling a hundred balls, you’re going to drop some on occasion. It’s the fear of what have I missed this week that’s constantly there. Just getting me down.

That's ridiculous re the amount of school messages. I'm not at this stage yet, but I will definitely be dodging this kind of whatsapp thing. I think Schools need to be told to tone it down with demands. I'm one of those people that think homework shouldn't exist. It's the first place children should learn about work/life balance. School is for work....home is for home life!

I hope you get out for a run soon and get some well deserved runners high.

@MamaGhina I recall it being a military operation. I had a concertina folder with days and months for the forms by term 1 in reception. In the days before PayPal and WhatsApp groups I kept five fivers and 10 £1 coins to hand. It got better once I was chair of the PTA and got the head to produce a termly events calendar with notice for costumes! That was a whole other rabbit hole.

World Book day nearly broke me. DS insisted one year he wasn't dressing up. Changed his mind at bedtime. One option - Mowgli, in an old pair of ripped shorts and smeared with dirt! He didn't put pants on and one of the rips was near the groin so spent all day stopping his willy from escaping. That was my fault. He was about 7!

My piece de resistance however was leaving someone else's child at the gate and realising two miles away from school. Never have I driven so fast over London road humps 😀

By the time ds was 9 I had them at different schools in opposite directions. By the time he was 10 I was back at work full-time, and got an au-pair. She dealt with the shit or if she didn't it was her fault, not mine and I strolled in at 6.30pm after activities and tea time.

The thing is, if you forget, and it's inevitable, it also means you care, else there would be nothing to forget.

Tricky though @yocal not to do stuff at home. In a class of 30, taking off register time, playtime, lunch time, assembly, that gives two to three minutes for each child tops. I would swerve the fucking Reading Tree if doing it again though. Just read with them and chose interesting books.

Nowadays it's more "muuum, can you explain mortgages to me"? "Daaad, why do I need a pension?" "Muuum, can you read this email reply to the parent from hell". Apple puree up the kitchen walls was a breeze, along with nits, worms, molluscs, etc. Oh to have a 28 year old (married) and 25 year old!

The prospect of all this is making me want to drink. Mine is nearly 4. I've got a lot to learn and a long way to go 😳

My only advice @yocal is nod and smile at the gate, confide in nobody until you have their measure, complain to nobody. The most important thing is a happy child - if they are unhappy, move them.

Just go with the flow - they all develop at their own pace. And 4 is lovely. At 7 the biggest difference between the local primary and the most expensive and sought after is that at the latter they will have learnt to say "feck orf" rather "fuck off". They'll probably end up at Bristol or Exeter wherever they go!

@SpringNotSprung good advice and noted. I'm currently choosing between two. One as you say posher and one larger with an across the board demographic. I thought the larger one would offer a range of friends to choose from and prepare her for the real world. The smaller is safer, more sheltered and possibly claustrophobic. It's a tough choice. Both are state, but the smaller one offers everything people pay private fees for. I know this is an alcohol support thread to keep on topic. I suppose I need to decide which will trigger the least alcoholism.

@Yocal avoid any parents whats app groups would be my advice!
Mine are in secondary school now so it's more about motivating them to do homework, remembering PE kits (and stopping them stealing each others football socks) and last minute trips to the shops for ingredients they've just remembered they need the next day!

Checking in for day 5. All going well so far and the first weekend is ticked off!