Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Morning.

I'm working today until 2pm then I'm going to try and incorporate some sort of self care into the day.
My main aim is to take my medication and vitamins (which I always forget ) and spend some time relaxing.

Does anyone read much? I'm always looking for new book recommendations:)

Morning all! Hope you're all feeling well.

I'll be joining you with the bulb planting @BoilingHotand50something - even if it is raining. Not much fun now but I know I'll be glad come the spring.

Have a great day!

I like the fever tree mexican lime soda as it's not too sweet. Or San Pelligrino lemonade.
@bluegirl19 I taught myself crochet by watching Bella Coco on youtube.
@smegly what sort of books do you enjoy?

Morning all, a quick check in from me but I’ll post properly later. I drank last night. I’m ok this morning, it’s my turn to lie in so still hiding in bed. I didn’t go crazy but I’m a bit annoyed I threw away my chance to have a dry November. That said, I’m still here. And I will keep trying.

@MamaGhina today is a new day and take the positive that you didn't go crazy. @smegley hope you're not feeling too bad today if you've got to work.

I read loads btw, mostly thrillers and police procedurals but do read other stuff too.

I was very tempted yesterday and had to go shopping. Managed to swerve the alcohol isle though so now on day 6. Family coming round today for a little bonfire and sparklers so could be tricky, especially as feeling very tearful. Damn hormones

@MamaGhina I always think of Frank Sinatra lyrics at a time like this. .. 'I pick myself up and get back in the race.....'
Try not to beat yourself up too much. We all know the feeling.
@VittysCardigan I do find crochet very therapeutic. It keeps the hands busy while decluttering the head. I haven't done it for a while but my adult sons love a huge baby blanket for their beds😂so I must get back to it. Day 8 here again and it struck me that there is so much support available now compared to 2003 when I started on this journey. It was AA or nothing and I was blessed to find a great women's group. I think it is disbanded now but it was amazing.
The online forums are brilliant but I suppose there is nothing to beat human contact.

Good luck today everyone!

@PleaseBePacific
I think being menopausal makes this journey v tough. I am thinking back to all the poor women who must have lived through hell throughout the years. All the women who tried to self-medicate the hell of hormones with alcohol and valium. .......and they were dismissed and just going through 'the change'

@Bluegirl19 oops i tagged you instead of replying to @Steppered about crochet

Good to hear from everyone. I think my self care is Mumsnet! Today is a whirl of laundry, bank, dry cleaners, Tesco. About to have a bubble bath (more self care) having been up and "doing" since 8.

I had a glass of champagne last night. It wasn't much to wrote home about but did make me fancy a glass of wine. I had a slimline tonic instead! It's a slippery slope.

Waitrose do a reasonable non alcoholic rhubarb gin. It comes in a hexagonal (I think) shaped bottle and has a C on it. I'll look up the name later. It feels quite treaty in a nice gin glass with ice and I add some frozen berries. It provides the ritual without turning on the want for alcohol. It does for me at least.

I did 103 days, then a glass when we had people to dinner, two v small glasses last Tuesday and now a glass of champagne last night. None of which were enjoyable or worth it really. But, this could become habitual rather than moderate and I need to get at least three/four weeks under my belt again.

My apologies for not responding to people directly but the thread is moving so fast at present that I can't properly keep up. It is very lovely to see everyone though.

@SpringNotSprung I can't keep up either, I'm trying to remember who's who but not doing very well 😂 it's nice to just be able to come here and chat though

@Bluegirl19 I'm 44 and definitely think I'm in Peri now. There is fortunately a lot more understanding than there used to be, but I do feel I'm still becoming one of those women trying to medicate with alcohol. Fortunately valium does nothing for me! My hormones going crazy over the last 3ish years has also coincided with the effects of alcohol worsening for me...worse hangovers, palpitations and racing heart etc. Despite the desire to self medicate I know that alcohol is making things worse overall, which is why I've found myself in place of wanting to quit. Have to say I'm in awe of you previously managing 16 sober years, at this point I'll be pleased if I manage 16 days!

I'm 63 and mother is 87. Even mother took HRT for menopause and goodness we all knew about her menopause. I vowed that when I hit it, I would not refer to it or discuss it at all.

I think menopause has got worse for women because so many have delayed having children and work full-time nowadays. Menopause therefore coincides with teenagers (often hard), full-time jobs, that tedious, moving on from full parenting in marriage where cracks may appear, and aging parents. It's a tough gig for women.

At risk of repetition, but there are new people on the thread, the best thing I did was seeing a gynaecologist when I was about 48/50 (although I was all done at 49) who titrated the HRT dose to a combi of pills and patches and who took the history of my pregnancies and births and listened, saying sensible things. He got me off the cheapest, one size fits all, HRT prescribed by my GP. I only saw him for a Smear because I don't let practice nurses do it and to stop the nag, nag, nag or reminders. It was £300 well spent, possibly £500 now.

Haven’t caught up but wanted to say I’ve spent the whole day thinking about drinking tonight. I absolutely cannot for so many reasons. Mainly because I have to be up early and drive but I also just can’t fall back into drinking at home.

Thankfully I got past the danger zone with a mug of tea.

@SpringNotSprung this is how I feel about my drinking. Although I had a run of about 40 days at the beginning, I haven’t managed a dry month since and that’s disappointing. I may have to face facts that if I want to take a break, I actually have to stop socialising so much. I will be really happy if I manage to break the drinking at home habit and I feel like I’m made big steps towards that but I crack so easily on a night out.

Morning all, it was quiet on here last night. I have woken up feeling really pleased with myself. I slept quite well all things considered. I’ve woken up feeling well rather than sick and I know I can drive this morning with complete confidence. I have an early start and long day, something that would have felt awful with a hangover.

I hope everyone else was ok last night and this morning. Have a great Sunday everyone.

Morning @MamaGhina

I went to bed super early last night. The cravings were strong! I've woken up feeling terrible too :(

I start work at 9 so that will keep me busy for a while. Its afterwards I will struggle.

The wine with the Sunday lunch (or in place of) is a big habit of mine.

I'm thinking of breaking tradition and making homemade burgers instead.

I've cancelled the bonfire plans as I simply can't be trusted. So it will be work, burgers, swimming lessons bath and bed. Rock and roll lol!

What are your plans for the day?

Morning all! I didn’t plant my bulbs yesterday so that is on the agenda today. I ended up getting up and cleaning the house. Had a real burst of energy so I was pleased about that.

As some of you know, as well as giving up drinking, I have also given up starchy carbs and am also fasting. I know this approach isn’t for everyone as many want to tackle just one thing at a time. But for me, I need to see results or I give up. I have now lost 1 stone 10 pounds in about 2 months. Which I am very happy about! I think this is definitely helping me keep going. Still need to lose at least the same again though. Still haven’t decided what to do about Christmas …

Well done @MamaGhina at beating the craving. It’s so good to wake up feeling pleased with yourself!

@smegley wine with Sunday dinner - whilst prepping it and eating it - was one of my biggest issues. And then feeling like crap as a result on a Monday, setting me up for a bad week, was one of my main drivers to stop. I am managing to enjoy my roast without wine at the moment. A glass of fake wine definitely helps though!

@smegley you see at the start of this journey in August, I was very intent on living my life as normally as possible. Almost refusing to cancel anything out of stubbornness. In the beginning when I was feeling strong, I could go out with friends and not drink. I may have whinged about it afterwards, but I managed it. A few months later and I’m finding my resolve is cracking much easier. I think I am resigned to the fact that I will have to reduce down my social life at least until the start of January, otherwise I’m going to lose all this good progress I have made.

@BoilingHotand50something congrats on the weight loss! That is very motivating to keep going. Initially it was the drinking at home that I wanted to stop, as I was feeling rotten all the time. Having had that 40 day run behind me I really want to get back there if I can. I have hardly anything in the calendar for the rest of November, so hoping I will be able to get another run under my belt.

Good morning,
I am back to work tomorrow after a week off and worry that when the stress mounts again, I will succumb to the wine whisperer!
I just want to verbalise, rather than internalise that fear. It will be extremely busy for next 7 weeks, one of my partners on the leadership team will be out unavoidably and I know every day will be chaotic/stressful. I can't let work ruin or rule my life -it is only a job and if I am left an alcoholic mess at the end of it , that is far too high a price to pay!
I know that I am the addict , the job is not making me drink so I have to break all the habits and trigger patterns.
Just getting it out on 'paper' will help.
Have a good Sunday
BG

Morning all! I drank on Thursday at my night out with friends. I had about half a bottle of wine with food. I was slightly annoyed with myself for breaking my dry streak after 39 days but I have got straight back on and haven’t drink Friday and Saturday.

I think the critical thing for me is not drinking at home - that’s what had got so bad for me because I was drinking a bottle/bottle and a half every night just in front of the TV.

However, I don’t want to slip back into always drinking when I’m out with friends because I’m sure that will lead to starting at home again. And I definitely feel better and am sleeping better without the alcohol. So I am trying for another decent long dry streak.

Good luck to everyone as we navigate this journey!

Hi @Bluegirl19 , I relate to the stressful work situation. I have a colleague who recently has become very unwell and, as well as worrying about her, it means work has become really busy/stressful without an end in sight. I get so tempted to drink after a bad day but, like you, I’ve realised it’s my health that suffers and no job is worth that.
Good luck this week.

@Bluegirl19 this all rings so true. I have had an incredibly tough few years at work and have been using alcohol to cope. But what I have also realised over this time is that, ultimately, work won’t care about me if I mess up due to drinking. They’ll just manage me out. And I am at a senior level where things are pretty ruthless. I have also been let down badly by colleagues who I thought were friends. I came to the realisation that I was letting these people ruin my health and happiness and those people are not worth it. And would not be there for my family if things came crashing down.

@BoilingHotand50something massive well done to yoi for 1 stone 10lbs in two months. That is incredible. I'm on another weightloss thread and you are doing amazing by comparison. What a massive change around 👏

I drank a load of slimline tonic (with different attempts at making it novel) last night and finally had a sleep, a proper one.

I don't know what it is like where you are but its a crisp, burnt orange landscape and blue sky day here so going to make the most of it. Its these kind of days when I really get life!

I totally identify with that.....

@BoilingHotand50something well done on the weight loss. I desperately need to tackle my weight too but simply don't have the motivation.

@Bluegirl19 I'm also back at work tomorrow after a week off, just the thought if it is making me crave a drink 😞