Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

And then I worry I should have pushed harder for a diagnosis when school said they were concerned but while it was just about his behaviour in class it didn’t feel like the priority to focus on but now this has happened and I feel like I’ve left him down.

@MamaGhina you did what you felt was right at the time. The time had changed. Ask for a meeting with the Head of Key Stage 1. Explain you realise things have now changed, that you believe your ds needs further help and a diagnosis might be useful. Ask if school can refer back. Knowledge is power.

Could you afford a swift review directly with a child psychiatrist. Might be worth every penny.

Hi @MamaGhina , I agree with this. You didn’t do anything wrong. You did what was right in the circumstances at the time. Now those may have changed, you are reassessing what the next right thing to do is.
I don’t have direct experience of a DC with SEN but gave friends who do and my overall observation is that they all say that getting needs understood (and preferably support in place) before secondary is key.
so I would agree with @SpringNotSprung that you need to speak with school and follow up on what further help might be needed.

Thanks both, I will make an appointment with the SENCo at school and see where we go from here.

I had a dry Friday night and I’ve decided I am going to try for a dry Easter. It’s a small but tough target for me. I would like to have another dry spell, drinking on and off and the loathing that goes with it doesn’t help anything.

Good luck with it! I had a really lovely walk today, it was glorious in the spring sunshine. Maybe you could fit in something like that? Or something you love anyway!

You can do this @MamaGhina

Hi everyone. I’ve had a username update. Was a bit worried about being identified because of a few of my recent posts and it felt like a good time for a change.
I’m going to see if there is an April 2024 thread for a bit more chat. Not that you aren’t all lovely but a fresh thread might be just what I need I’ll obviously still come on here for the updates and will keep you posted on how I’m doing.

Good luck @AFmammaG I think I understand that. Thank you for all your help and support.

Thanks @SpringNotSprung, it’s the 1st of the month and a Monday which are both big motivators for me 🤞finally back to feeling hopeful.

Hey everyone! How are you all?

As again you with have gathered from my absence - it's not been going well at all. However -just for a change - I'm checking in with you on day 2. (I wanted to make sure I actually made it through day one this time.) It's taken me four months to start getting off it again. Didn't sleep last night. Terrible withdrawal symptoms today but another try is another try hey?

So bored of this problem - it's like ground hog day.

I hope you've been keeping well. This time I promise to catch up with the thread and kick it down the road because of the fear like the last failed attempt to even get going.

Sending you all 🌺🌷🌼

Good to see you @Thepeppapigfanclub. I am aiming to do dry April! Tonight I treated myself to a bottle of zero alcohol wine. It is called "Not Guilty". It is very very guilty indeed, guilty of being foul.

If the real stuff were like it, none of us would have a problem! I'd honestly rather have a cup of tea.

Hello @SpringNotSprung. Sorry about the wine...they just can't make it taste like the real thing on account of it missing the alcohol. I'm sure they are trying their best but it isn't working. I might go and get myself some AF gin tomorrow as a 'treat', That is just as bad.

For tonight it's a cup of tea in bed and the hope of getting a least few hours sleep in after the horror show that was last night. Ha!

Morning all! Have been suffering no temptations whatsoever on account of the worst cough /cold I have had in some time with no smell or taste as a bonus feature. Not Covid it seems, which leaves me still untouched!
The down side is that I can’t even taste my coffee and that is giving me the rage. I am ploughing on nonetheless (hmm, seems familiar).

Hope you’re all feeling perky (or perkier than I am at any rate).

Get well soon @TimesaChangeling

Morning all. I had a dry weekend and I’m on day 7. I really recommend the dry Jan thread if you need a bit more chat.

Hi @Thepeppapigfanclub, nice to see you back. This year has been pretty rough for me too in terms of a million attempts to stop again. Wishing you all the best for this one, we can do it!

@TimesaChangeling there is so much going around at the moment. I find as soon as the kids break up from school I come down with every bug going. It’s like my body is in fight mode during term time and then I collapse! Hope you feel better soon.

@SpringNotSprung how is your dry April going?

Good morning, I have just spent the last while catching up on all the threads and realise I am not alone. I am sorry to hear of so many struggles. You put it so well @MamaGhina , it is groundhog day and it wears down even the most optimistic of us. I went back to my role as headteacher after my week of nice sobriety during the February break and resumed my nightly guzzling of a bottle of wine for the following month. I still think I am doing it in 'secret' but doubt that is the case! Easter week came and miraculously I was able to stop again for a full week and blew it again the past 2 nights.
It is just such a grind and I never lose the AA Guilt. As I shared before, I had 16 years of sobriety and did 6 or 7 years of fairly intensive AA meetings. I have been slipping and sliding for past 5 years, coinciding with my journey into school leadership. I know the stress of the job has been a factor. I hate myself and I know I allow the guilt to swallow me to the extent I drink to blot it out. I see myself as sullied, secretive, sneaky, dirty, and unworthy, while at the same time presenting a very different face to the world.
I am very down about the recent appearance of an 'apron' belly. I hope that doesn't seem trite , but it is so depressing! Guzzling 700 extra sugar calories a night coupled with the attendant junk cravings that follow, must be the cause. Coupled with lack of motivation to exercise and the perimenopause in full swing . It's funny how I am always motivated to work, it's the only thing giving me validation at the moment....that is so sad! I am nothing but a (fat) husk, working furiously like a hamster on a wheel. Inside I am dying, on the outside, I am pedalling furiously. I hope by sharing this, I will purge some of the poisonous thinking. Work resumes after a break tomorrow, I need to try to change the habits of working late and guzzling a bottle of wine before entering the house. The brighter evenings will make that trickier, I can't sit and guzzle in the safety of darkness.
I am sharing this for myself and for others who are caught in the hellish cycle of secret binging.
I am sorry I didn't tag everyone, I really appreciate the raw honesty and vulnerability of everyone here. I hope we can all find our own bit of peace

Two days I did before I cracked and had a bottle last night - but I've come to the conclusion that I can't keep going low profile every time I slip. I'll try again today which should be easy because I have a dreadful hangover (not that that's stopped me before). Sorry you've been finding it hard this year too @MamaGhina.

Nice to 'meet' you @Bluegirl19. School leadership is very stressful and as a teacher myself I really hear what you are saying about the outward face and the reality. It is indeed a hellish cycle. I wish I could make it disappear once and for all.

Hi, please can I join you ?
I've just finished my 2nd bottle of wine. I don't even feel drunk. I am resigned to dying shortly. My heart rate has increased by 20bpm over the last 2 months.
Any tips get through day 1 appreciated.
Thanks

@Bluegirl19 & @Thepeppapigfanclub good to hear from you both. Every dry day is a win as far as I’m concerned. Don’t fall into the trap of beating yourself up so badly you drink again. That is one thing I have stopped since joining the thread on September, the negative self talk.

@IWanderedLonely thank you for joining. Tips for day 1? Take it hour by hour. Keep busy or sleep. For me there’s been little in between. Be kind to yourself. And maybe have a think about a short term goal. As my new day 1 coincided with 1st April, I’ve set a new goal of getting through April dry. That may be too far ahead for you to contemplate right now. You may be better off thinking about tapering down, depending on how much you drink. It can be dangerous to simply stop altogether if you drink a lot frequently.

@IWanderedLonely I had noticed my heart racing in bed in the night after an evening on the wine. It was frightening. I’m pleased to say it doesn’t anymore. I had about 6 weeks off in August/September last year and even that short period of time made a huge difference to my health.

Thank you @AFmammaG -appreciate the advice. And I agree - every dry day is a win. I think I'm going to keep a tab of how many dry days rather than consecutive dry days for a while. This might be better than thinking I've failed and then going right back to drinking every night before getting the strength to try again.

@IWanderedLonely - I'm not in a position to be dishing out any advice unfortunately. Do you have anyone who can support you?

Hi @IWanderedLonely, how’re you getting today? Check in if you need support to get through the evening. Lots of people have been at the 2 bottle juncture and thought no, this has to be a turning point, so please don’t feel like you are in fact wandering around lonely!

@IWanderedLonely how have you been? It’s day 10 for me. I desperately need another good break so focussing hard on this April target.
The other thread I’m on have loads of people hitting 100 days as they stopped at new year. How I’d love to be a part of that club! Can’t imagine the physical benefits of a break that long and how freeing it must be for the mind.

100 days when you are looking ahead feels a bit interminable but looking back, I realised it shot past quite quickly. It isn’t forever and you can always reassess what you are thinking about when you get there. For the vast majority of us there are always going to be months and years afterwards that you can drink (if that’s what you decide!).

it’s been nearly 8 months now for me but with a couple of times that I have drunk. It’s rarely even a question in my mind any more which is just amazing to me. I do still spend quite a bit of time engaged with sober content because I want to keep the downsides at the forefront of my mind but I am conscious that doesn’t work for everyone tho. Sometimes it just makes people think of it too much.