Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Hi everyone...I'm mostly lurking at the moment. Well done @MamaGhina for last night, must've felt good this morning. @Cloudsclouds6 sounds tough situation for you, on the plus side some real positives of being AF.

I'm on day 10, am going away this weekend and will do my best not to drink. Am feeling hopeful. Less so about the rapidly approaching Christmas meals. I know someone said not to worry about Christmas (and I agree), but part of me knows it's inevitable, especially with the work do. I'm known as a 'drinker' and can't face the questions if I don't, plus a certain amount of booze is included anyway.

It was only pure fear for my health that made me decide to give up now, otherwise I would have waited until the new year

Hi everyone, @PleaseBePacific day 10
is brilliant it’s only onwards and upwards form here….

just up early for my job which is something I’ve managed to get in hope to set myself free a bit.

thanks everyone for words of support - I just realised how bad that must have sounded about my feelings for DH :( it’s just that over the past years since last child born he’s said some incredibly horrid mean things which have massively cooled my feelings for him :( quite unwise on his part I think. I’ve done a lot of self development, attended counselling etc and am very self aware about the r’ship. Problem is that he isn’t. Someone put a philosophical mirror in front of me the other day. Turns out they had the same thing happen with their ex, only difference is that they left and didn’t stick it out for the risk of upheaval and the kids like I have.

For all those struggling in the evening I do think going to bed asap is one of the things o learnt to do. Just get into bed, cup of tea, read, Netflix etc. anything but drinking it’s the worst poisen we can have in the evening!

Yes agree on the earlier nights. I am having a mug of Ovaltine as my little evening ‘tipple’. I find myself really looking forward to it. How times have changed!

I’m here and reading, I’m just struggling for time to respond properly.
I’ll be back in the morning to update!

Good morning all
I haven't had a chance to update , day 14 here. Starting to feel much better physically. Work is still horrendous and a part of me misses the evening 'escape', but it was coming at too high a cost.
I am absolutely exhausted, so early nights are easy to achieve. I will catch up properly with the feed over weekend. I hope everyone is doing as well as they can ❤

Good morning everyone. I hope you are all doing well and sending to those we are struggling - either with this journey, other life factors or both.

I am going well - day 30 today, can't believe it. I'm feeling good, much less thinking about alcohol now. I popped to the shop for bread and milk yesterday and only on my way out realised that it hadn't even crossed my mind to visit the booze aisle. Sugar cravings have reduced now too so I might actually start losing some pounds. I use the Try Dry app and the calories saved on there are frightening (and the £ too).

I am still listening to a podcast a day to keep my focus on the end game. Last night I listened to one about the wife of an alcoholic and her experience of their life together and sadly his death. An incredibly brave lady to tell her story - it has hit me really hard, it took him a long time to admit he had a problem, hid his drinking and said he could stop at anytime - but turns out it had a greater grip on him than he thought or was willing to admit. It's left me feeling sad and angry about the way that alcohol is allowed to embed itself into everyday life. I suppose a good reminder of the reasons I've quit - it really is a slippery slope.

On a Cheerier note - it's Friday! I'm already looking forward to my mocktail with cup of tea chaser! Xx

I'm already looking forward to my mocktail with cup of tea chaser
I’m going to hold onto this thought tonight @MissSmith80. Congrats on 30 days! You are doing so well and totally agree that it’s around this time when you start to see and feel some benefits.

Friday nights are my hardest. That end of the week feeling. When we are led to believe that it’s a “treat” or an “indulgence”. I need to keep focusing on the sleep benefits and my skin changes and the reasons why I don’t want to drink tonight. It’s absolutely true that once you’ve broken a good run, it feels much more tempting to give in. I will be running the kettle hard tonight.

@PleaseBePacific and @Bluegirl19 well done on those first 2 weeks! Another great achievement. The first month was by far the hardest for me in terms of thinking about drinking. You should have stopped the physical symptoms of any withdrawal now, so any cravings are entirely in your mind. You can do this!

@Cloudsclouds6 I hear you. I’m in a similar position. There’s a bit of an age gap between me and DH and I’m starting to become more aware of it. As the kids are getting older I’m thinking about all the things I’ll be free to go out and do, whilst DH seems to be hankering for retirement. There’s been some resentment there over the years on my part, which doesn’t help. When we had the DC I was the one who did pretty much everything. It was incredibly hard and I went through that feeling of loosing myself. It was being in a position to go back to a proper job that’s also bringing up some issues for us. I love my work and the people and I’m so glad to feel like a functioning adult again! I didn’t realise how much I missed it and all the value working added to my life. This is another reason why I flinch a bit at DH talking about retirement. I’ve only just got myself back to a place where I can even have a job because my youngest has only just started school! I think he forgets that. Add to that our different approaches to drinking and it all adds up.

@NewLifeHappyLife I’m thinking of you and your family. I hope your Mum continues to improve and things with your sister are ok 💐

@smegley are you out to the comedy show tonight? How are you feeling about it?

Hey everyone just checking in on Friday. For all those struggling with that Friday feeling, I’m with you. Let’s hang in there together and drink anything but the poison haha! Just had a summer fruits in a wine glass - I’m so sad lol.

@MamaGhina thank you for sharing.. I really do understand your situation. You’ve held up another mirror for me. DH is also older….One of the things I’ve also noticed it my increase in energy and going back to work after last child now at school. Coupled with DH less energy and wanting to wind down so a similar thing. We are just not singing from the same hymn sheet anymore. It’s hard. Coupled with his drinking. Oh my, I really hear you with your situation. It’s incredibly difficult. I’m sorry that you are going through a similar thing and I’m also sorry if I brought it up. It’s very hard when DH still drinks a fair bit. I was getting on with things, looking after my appearance, feeling younger and fitter and not thinking too deeply about the future. But then someone else came into my life recently (after many many years of being faithful to DH). Just to say, I haven’t cheated and don’t even know the other persons feelings other than he is separated and probably wouldn’t ever do anything as I’m married and he knows my DH. But it’s a bit like an emotional affair if that makes sense.

On another note, at week 10 I’ve finally reached the stage where I don’t crave a drink on the evening if I have a little blip, something goes wrong or the kids are naughty during the day.

Sorry to hear your DH struggles @Cloudsclouds6 and @MamaGhina. Hope you are doing ok @NewLifeHappyLife and @Thepeppapigfanclub - you have gone quiet again - hope you are ok.

How is everyone doing? I had a glass of my 0% red as my weekend treat but wasn’t tempted by anything stronger, despite having to go to the wine aisle and look through them all to find the 0% one! So feeling pretty pleased. Just realised I am coming up to the 10 week mark too so feeling pretty proud.

I tried the hypnotherapy yesterday, but it focused more on the weightloss, but the principles are the same. It is such an interesting process. You would need to go for yourselves and work out what your subconscious beliefs are that alcohol serves. I did it with food, but the principles are the same. It was only yesterday, but I can tell you it bloody works! We turned my grenelin hormones down in the session (seems crazy), but it has bloody worked. I'm not hungry at all and I go focus on other things rather than food. I'm looking at food now with a totally neutral view. I imagine the same can be done with alcohol. I was hypnotised to select the healthful foods, in smaller portions and stop when full. That has happened so far.

So, yeah, well worth the money and can see how it could really help you quit alcohol. I think its worth a go if you're fed up of using will power alone.

I feel absolutely better and released from employing all that will power that is required to deal with those subconscious drivers. It is so good. I feel chill about food and released to focus on other enjoyable things.

I give it 5 stars.

Good morning,
I am so glad to be able to come on here this morning. It will make me accountable. I drank a bottle of white wine last night and was really sick 😫. Up twice during the night and OMG, the sweats & the fear!!!!
Thank you for being here so that I can cling on and get back to some peace in my head. I know it was precipitated by hunger and tiredness, the end of a hard week and it could have been solved by having some food rather than reaching for the bottle!
The good thing is I don't feel like I want to drink again tonight, so for now, I am going to very much keep it in the day!
I am sorry if this is triggering for anyone
BG

Hello checking in for day 10
Horrible week at work this week. I was tempted to have a glass or 2 last night but I had a early night instead. It would have ended up being a bottle or 2. Still dreading work on Monday already. Time to start looking for a new job now I think.
@Bluegirl19 dont beat yourself up. The fear after drinking is hard enough. Be kind to yourself and start another dry run from today.

Back to day 1 for me. Went to a big local event last night with friends & family, drank about 5 pints of lager. Not beating myself up for it though. I haven't had a drink at home for almost a month. It was the drinking at home alone that was becoming a problem.

@Bluegirl19 these things happen - that’s why we are all here. Glad this thread is helping work things through for you. @SummerScoop like so many others, feels like dropping drinking uncovers the things that aren’t right in our lives so we do need to think about fixing those things, however hard it might be! @VittysCardigan remember it’s day 1 of your next streak but today will be day 30 or similar in terms of counting days without alcohol. So I wouldn’t see it as starting again but building on what you already achieved.

Hi all, sorry not to have posted for a while, I appreciate reading all the updates. I. am now on day 10 of my second dry streak after I broke the previous 39 days one with drinks out with friends. Currently have Covid so feeling a bit rubbish which weirdly increased my cravings for wine last night - I think I just felt I deserved something to cheer me up. Didn’t have any in the house though so couldnt indulge anyway!

@BoilingHotand50something @SummerScoop thanks for the encouragement.....it wasn't remotely enjoyable and really showed me how I had become so accustomed to feeling so bloody awful all the time!!!!
I will be kind to myself today, eat all the sugar I need and not spend the day in the horrors. As I would have done if I was left alone with myself and the horrible committee in my head.
Thanks everyone and we only have to get to bed time tonight... .not even thinking in terms of 24 hours.

The advice to go to bed asap is new advice to me and makes a lot of sense! Thanks for that.

Hi all, I’m checking in. I agree with not beating yourselves up @Bluegirl19 and @VittysCardigan or anyone who breaks a streak. Think about all the times you decided not to drink and how much benefit that will be doing. I like counting x/xxx because as I’ve said before, I’m still here and I’m still trying.

I’m having a quiet weekend at home as we are all feeling a bit run down, so had a lovely lie in this morning. All of a sudden it’s cold outside and I fancy just sitting on the sofa with a blanket and warm drink.

I hope everyone is ok. I know some lurk and read rather than post, so just wanted to let everyone know I’m thinking of you all!

Good evening everyone. @MamaGhina I'm with you - xx/xx is the way I'll approach it this time should I decide to drink - otherwise I'll beat myself up for failing and I know how that will work out!

I've had a lovely day with my son today - we had lunch at my favourite cafe bar - I had a mocktail and it was gorgeous. We were surrounded by people having Saturday lunch time catch ups/armistice day related meet ups and lots of wine - I really wasn't tempted, in fact quite the opposite - I felt really 'free' from decisions about how long it will be until I was driving - could I get away with a small glass etc. And I was definitely better company for my son - we laughed, chatted and played games at the table.

Now for a snuggle on the sofa in my warmest PJ's with a cup of tea.

Sorry for the slow reply.
The comedy night was a disaster. I didn't manage well at all

@smegley oh no 😭 so sorry to hear this. Hope you are ok x

@MissSmith80 it’s so lovely to hear about your day ❤️ I am so much more patient with my DC when I’m not nursing a hangover. Hope you had a lovely evening.

I’m sitting here thinking about signing up for one year no beer in January. I know I will break in December. It’s just unavoidable and I don’t want to spend that month beating myself up, so I’m thinking about January and making some goals for the new year.