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Alcohol support

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Original poster

I know I need to stop... Help please

98 replies

MasterOfOne · 08/10/2023 08:18

I an struggling so much. I need to stop drinking. I drink all day everyday. I am drinking right now as I type.

I HATE what I have become, but have no idea how to stop.

My dad died a chronic alcoholic.... I know how this story ends.

I am just so so sad I have turned out like this

Help

OP posts:
PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 12/10/2023 14:08

Well done on getting through that first bit. You can do this. The first few days you will be knackered so just sleep and self care.

I found Alcohol Explained by William Porter really useful to explain what alcohol was doing to my brain and therefore put me off drinking it.

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 12/10/2023 14:20

Thank you so much - I've downloaded the William porter book and will look at Alan Carr as well.

I quite like podcasts so if anyone had any recommendations of a good one to listen too, please share 🙏

OP posts:
Workawayxx · 12/10/2023 14:27

Well done, OP! You’re doing so so well. I like the over the influence podcast. I think there’s a few series but I started at the beginning.

i would think about seeing the gp if you can, they can give you info and support and help with the anxiety.

Username620 · 12/10/2023 17:33

https://spotify.link/4YhSS1rcQDb

its called Through the Glass Recovery Podcast

Spotify

https://spotify.link/4YhSS1rcQDb

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 12/10/2023 21:05

Thank you all so much again.

@Workawayxx I think when I started this thread I was really seconds away from calling the GP, my heart was racing and I was so so anxious.

I have suffered with depression and anxiety pretty my my whole life, so managed to do some deep breathing and grounding exercises to worth though it.

I will contact them if it gets worse. Thank you for being so kind

OP posts:
VoldemortsKitten · 13/10/2023 17:46

Hey @MasterOfOne how are you getting on? Have been thinking of you x

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 13/10/2023 20:00

Still hanging on - feeling very low and tired so pretty much slept all day. But managed a full 7hrs sleep last night and that hasn't happened in months.

Feel like I have a lot of sleep to catch up on right now

OP posts:
Scoutabout22 · 13/10/2023 20:20

You are doing amazingly well. Sending you lots of support for the weekend. I have lost people in my family to alcohol abuse and so has my husband. It’s so sad when you can’t help. It’s not too late for you. Keep going.

Username620 · 14/10/2023 01:14

Great news @MasterOfOne have you got something that you really love to do that would stop you from feeling low?

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 14/10/2023 11:24

Thank you. I'm home now after some early morning errands. Honestly think I am just going to go back to sleep.

The craving is really really strong this morning just need to stay indoors now until the feeling passes. I need to go out at some point this weekend for pet food, but know if I am in the supermarket today, I probably will buy something.

Lord this is tough.

OP posts:
VoldemortsKitten · 14/10/2023 13:06

Oh @MasterOfOne you are doing amazing

Sleeeeeep definitely sleep whenever you need to it can be exhausting while your body is recovering and getting back to its natural balance

I understand the craving thing, so much of it is habit as well as the fact that alcohol has rewired your brain a bit to make itself the focus of pleasure

Im trying to think what I could have said to myself at this stage, what did I think or do that stopped me going back to it. I honestly think that eventually something clicked every time I looked at a bottle of wine and thought 'this won't make it better' yes I often had that feeling like I was missing something.. I couldn't put my finger on it... (reckon that's the habit bit, as so often my answer when I felt that was to have a drink) but at some point I realised that whatever was missing, alcohol wasn't it.

In between the sleeping I started tentatively rebuilding friendships that I had long neglected because they had become far less important than drinking away my crippling anxiety

A few olive branches sent. A lot of sorting things out in the house, having long baths, reading, and trying to find a non alcoholic drink that I actually liked.

Thinking of you, it is tough but I think you might be tougher 😊❤️

hashbrownsandwich · 15/10/2023 16:43

How are you doing OP?

FlossOnTheMill · 15/10/2023 16:50

MasterOfOne · 12/10/2023 14:20

Thank you so much - I've downloaded the William porter book and will look at Alan Carr as well.

I quite like podcasts so if anyone had any recommendations of a good one to listen too, please share 🙏

I don't know about podcasts, but William Porter has lots of talks on YouTube. Here is one:

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 15/10/2023 17:34

Thank you.

I knew this weekend would be a struggle. I've cracked and had half a bottle of wine today.

I have stopped now but just feel so.... ashamed.

I went to supermarket for pet food and I just couldn't walk past the wine aisle without getting a bottle.

Tomorrow is a new day, right?

OP posts:
VoldemortsKitten · 15/10/2023 17:39

Absolutely. It's such an ingrained habit. Go easy on yourself ❤️ This doesn't have to derail you @MasterOfOne must be so tempting to drink the rest of the bottle though did you manage to get rid of it?

FlossOnTheMill · 15/10/2023 17:41

Instead of going to the supermarket, can you get deliveries and/or shop at a farmers' market?

Dragonsandcats · 15/10/2023 17:45

Tomorrow is definitely a new day. And you’ve stopped, that’s something to celebrate. Could you manage to pour the rest away?

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 15/10/2023 17:55

The rest is all gone. Its recycling day tomorrow so wanted to get all the bins put not now.

Unfortunately, if you have fickle pets like mine, there is only one brand if food they like that i currently cannot get delivered from amazon.

I think I'll have to send my friend to pop into shop to get the pet food, everything else I can get delivered.

I knew this weekend would be tough. I can't remember my last totally sober weekend.

OP posts:
itsmyp4rty · 15/10/2023 18:02

I think you need to make sure you don't put yourself in a position that you aren't ready for. You knew you weren't ready to go to the supermarket so you need to do whatever necessary to avoid that situation. Whether that is asking someone else to buy the dog food for you, ordering it online or making sure you order plenty well in advance so you don't need to go to the supermarket when you're not ready. It's not fair to set yourself up to fail.

But now it's a new day, time to put that behind you and focus on what you can put in place to help you keep on track. You're learning what can trip you up so now you can make plans to prevent it happening again. Focus on the future and getting better.

FlossOnTheMill · 15/10/2023 18:02

Have you tried Zooplus for pet food delivery?

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 15/10/2023 19:12

You are right. I will need to avoid my local supermarket and find alternative ways to get their food!

It's just become such a habit.

During the last week, work was a lot but meant I could be distracted in trying to catch up in the mess I had made and trying to get ahead.

This weekend, I was totally alone.... and when I have "nothing" to do, I become rather self destructive. I recognise that.
There are plenty of things I could get stuck into but it's taking me a minute to get the drive and motivation again.

OP posts:
VoldemortsKitten · 15/10/2023 19:45

You nipped it in the bud in good time, you stopped at like 4.5 units. it will be out of your system soon if not already so it shouldn't affect your sleep too much. You won't be the first or last to hit a bump in the road.

The worst thing you could do now is allow the slip up to become bigger in your mind than the amazing progress you made during the week.

In fact if it wasn't really enjoyable or worth it, you're just reinforcing in your mind that it's not a habit worth keeping.

If it did feel like a massive relief to have a glass of wine that's tricky but still worth facing

We are all here rooting for you X

Username620 · 16/10/2023 00:45

@MasterOfOne It took me 4 months. I would manage a week and crack and it wasn’t only half a bottle of wine.
It is up to you if you want to reset your day count at this point. You didn’t drink yourself into oblivion.
Being alone is hard but it’s really just replacing drinking time with more useful things. I started decluttering my house.
You are doing so well. Don’t beat yourself up.

Original poster
MasterOfOne · 16/10/2023 05:36

You are both right. It really wasn't a relief to drink yesterday, it was habit, boredom, loneliness and anxiety.

But I did not get absolutely wasted like I used to. I managed to cook dinner from scratch and clean and hoover my bedroom too which was long over due.

Going to keep on, got a lot of work to catch up with this week that should help keep me on track.

OP posts:
Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit · 16/10/2023 06:41

Hi OP, don't beat yourself up about slipping. Really it won't help, the shame women feel about drinking is a big part of the problem.
I love sober podcasts and I still listen years into my sobriety. Sober stories from sober sassy mum is fantastic. The lady who does it is great very down to earth. She runs a sober community online as well if you want that support.
I also listen to some American ones but I know they aren't for everyone.
Recovery Elevator with Paul Churchill is just so positive and lovely.
Sober powered by Gill Tiertz who is a professor of chemistry in Boston is also wonderful. She explains all sorts of things that you are going through right now.
All of these folks are part of the new way of thinking about addiction and drinking. They really take the fear out of it. I wish I had know about them when I quit. I hope you can give them a listen and they help you.