The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Morning all.
You have been a seriously busy lot.
I am interviewing this morning as its very hard to catch people in the week. No face time so it's OK.
My new role is super busy but my bosses are so polite. No swearing, no nonsense. They keep on giving me praise and more benefits so I am hanging around for this one lads. I was interviewing for the UAE yesterday, a spot of training there, I don't mind if I do! Luckily no drink so hoorah. No chance of disgracing myself. Toxic Tom has offered an olive branch.
@stilldumdedumming i am sorry your DH is so unwell. We all know how addictive alcohol is. I actually don't know how I drank so much with all my meds. Looking back I probably risked cardiac arrest.
We make our choices but our thought process has been disturbed. Other cultures know this so why do we do it?
Saturday shopping, the daughter needs Bridgets. However I have bought a new coat, pink. Now I haven't got the red veins we should be alright.
Have a good day my friends.

Morning everyone,

@WendyWagon your job sounds very exciting! And I love the sound of your coat. Lol at the red veins. I may be imagining it, but mine seem less pronounced. Can they disappear completely?

2 weeks today!

Yesterday was a good day. Busy but not too busy - enjoyable and enough to keep me distracted. I tried the AF red wine. A big disappointment! And, weirdly, as I sipped it, I started worrying it was going to stain my teeth, which are brightening up nicely. How quickly my priorities have changed 😆

The AF beers, on the other hand, are very good. DH bought me some 0% Erdinger beers and even he couldn't tell the difference. I plan to keep them for weekends only, to mark the difference from the working week.

Sundays are my biggest challenge but I've organised to drop something off at 5pm so that should keep me on track. And I'm planning an afternoon jaunt to the garden centre too.

Hope everyone is keeping well and strong. Xx

Morning all.
Up late for us. Just had the scrambled eggs.
The DH and I went to bed at the same time, no dog and slept nearly ten hours.
@helenahandcart78 my veins were treated with a laser. Three sessions at £60 a pop. It was too much for me but it works.
I use to spend £50 a week on wine at least. Funny enough I don't spend as much on clothes anymore. No drunk fleebaying.
I am also a funny size due to the weight loss.
Issues again with the DD and university. Tis a tough one.

Interesting talk of the sweet tooth of sobriety. I really noticed this in the first few months after stopping. I had un undeniable craving. I didn't just want sweet things, I physically needed them. It was very odd.
Thinking back, I'm not sure when the cravings subsidied. I can only hope they have!
I'm fairly certain I snack more than I did when drinking, though not nearly as much as the first 2 or 3 months after stopping.
Maybe this is something I should attack next! Hhmm, maybe not.
Anyway, it's a nicer bad habit than my previous one!
Kind wishes for all, another sober week awaits.

So today is my 21 months anniversary and I am going to cease posting on the thread. I can't share anymore personal details and that is a great sadness for me. You have all been so helpful. I felt like we were old friends.
I have to look after my personal mental health and once again it has been effected.
I wish you well my dear aimies.

Oh @WendyWagon! Well, I have very much enjoyed your company. And thank you for being here with us. All strength to you for looking after your mental health, and we'll still be here if it feels like a good idea to return.

Morning all.
Sorry to see you go @WendyWagon, but thank you for journeying with us over the last 21 months. Go well, my friend.

Thanks for all your wisdom and kindness @WendyWagon

Good luck!

I've always been much more of a lurker than a poster here.
When I first read this thread (or rather its predecessors) I thought it wasn't the place for me. I wasn't going to stop drinking - I couldn't imagine that. I was going to moderate. Just be more sensible about it. And so months of making promises to myself and breaking them and moving the goalposts, and telling myself that plenty of people drink similar amounts etc.
And then an ongoing stressful situation made things worse. Most nights involved stressful phone calls and I found myself 'needing' a drink before, during and after them.
I still mostly lurked here even when I'd read some quit lit and decided to stop. Scared I'd fail, still not sure how it would all go.

It's 400 days since I had a drink. I (mostly) can't imagine drinking again - though the bright lights walking past a cozy pub on the way home from the theatre can still occasionally make me wobble.... Despite being happy to go to the pub and drink Af, my partner and I go to the pub much less. He hasn't stopped but has only had a drink on a handful of occasions and has also felt much better for it.

But I have:

• improved my sleep no end
• hit some fitness goals, including a good for age time for the London Marathon
• done more other stuff... More theatre, more art galleries etc
• still enjoyed evenings and weekends away with friends
• woken up refreshed and happy on weekend mornings

-been much more present for my kids

I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol but I can no longer imagine it with it - it just wouldn't be as good. And we have so many retirement plans (not for another 8 years yet!) and I want to give myself the best chance of health to keep running, hiking, swimming and exploring the world.

Those of you who are early in this journey - I promise it is worth it!

And thank you to those longer term people much better at posting than me. Wendywagon you have been an inspiration so I'm sorry you have to go

Jumping in to say there are lots of really lovely 0.0% beers now!
Estrella Galicia, Peroni, Guinness, San Miguel...don't suffer with a Becks Blue 😂

My favourites are Beavertown Lazer Crush (0.3% but you'd get as much alcohol from a ripe banana), Lucky Saint, Big Drop Paradiso.

Can I beg everyone, whenever in a pub, to ask them what alcohol free beers they have on tap? Even if it is fairly clear they haven't. If we keep asking, they might think about it. I definitely prioritise pubs where I can get a proper pint of AF

That sounds lovely! Just to keep my boundaries clear I stick to 0.0 beers but that doesn't have to be the case for everyone! Luckily there are so many good ones now, and if you go to Spain, even more! Mahou Tostada 0.0 👌

Congratulations on 400 days @PosiePerkinPootleFlump ! I agree with so much of what you’ve written - especially the bright lights of the pub. And I’m a bit jealous of your marathon time! I’ve signed up for Manchester next year

@WendyWagon - massive thanks for your wise posts and your inspiration, both on this thread and earlier iterations.
@PosiePerkinPootleFlump - great post. I'm around 100 days behind you. Agree with all that you say. I had my first real 'trigger' event a few months after adopting sobriety. It was also the bright lights. Like you, I've been in a bar a few times since and coped fine with AF versions, soft drinks etc. Looking around, I realised many of the patrons weren't enjoying the warmth and the lighting. Rather, they were looking glumly into their drinks, not having real conversations, talking too loudly, peeing a lot, faces flushed and blotchy.
I rarely suffer such a trigger when I walk past these days. I know the truth!
First call of the day awaits. However, been up since 6 and yoga / 5k already nailed so feel ready. Yeay

So very sorry to see you go. I will miss you a great deal. Thank you very much for all the support, understanding and good humour.

Every good wish to you. Hope you go on to do lots of lovely things in life. x

I did Manchester to get my GFA. It was (mostly) fun! Is it your first marathon or have you done some before?

So sorry to see you go @WendyWagon you have been a steady presence on here and so very helpful in so many ways. Thank you for all the times you've hosted and posted here. I hope everything is OK for you and your DD, and that you find every success and happiness in your new job. X

@WendyWagon thank you for your unfailing support and a recommendation for the best foundation I have ever used!

Take good care of yourself.

Sorry to see you go @WendyWagon your name was one of the first I learned when I first started reading this thread. I didn't realise you were so far along at 21 months. Well done, thank you for your chat and take care.

I often drink when stressed, but also out of grief. I feel my life has had a dark cloud over it for years as I have lived through the hell that has been my DMs dementia journey. I visited her today and she was very sleepy. She did briefly register me and my DCs but it was short and sweet. My youngest climbed into bed beside her for a cuddle and completely melted my heart.

So of course tonight I want a drink. In the early days of her illness I would come home and have a brandy to cope. That was the start of my drinking habits changing completely.

I won't have a drink tonight, I am fully focused on making it to Sunday when I hit my first month AF. I will negotiate a new target with myself then. It is still so hard and I need to find something else that helps me cope.

Sorry for the long post, I just had to make sense of everything and make myself accountable somewhere.

Morning all.
It sounds like quite a nice, but sad, visit with your mum @Kate489 Having a loved one with dementia is such a long grieving process, usually with a ton of other emotions thrown in. You did well not to reach for the “emergency release”.

It will be my first marathon @PosiePerkinPootleFlump . I’ve done a couple of half marathons this year. I’m frustrated because I’m having surgery in a couple of weeks so I’ll need to take a break from running for a few weeks. My training plans never go to plan! I broke my wrist 8 weeks before my first half marathon so I had to train with a cast on, so couldn’t do any speed work (casts and sweat don’t mix). I am trying to be zen about it all but not very good at that.

@Onewildandpreciouslife the break sounds frustrating but hopefully you can come back strongly after. Still plenty of time until marathon day.

@Kate489 that sounds so hard with your mum. Might exercise help instead of a drink - it's hard to make yourself do it especially when upset but the endorphins can help if you can persuade yourself to start. It has taken me a while to get to the point where stress and sadness don't have me reaching for the gin bottle but little by little it does happen and it's no longer my automatic reaction that I have to put a stop to any more

Morning all.
Huge win for me yesterday- I went to a drinks reception where I knew absolutely no one, and stayed for over an hour! One of the (many) reasons I used to drink was for social anxiety so to be able to walk round a room and approach complete strangers for a chat, (and remember all the conversations and not worry I’d embarrassed myself) was remarkable.

And I asked a waiter when I got there what my soft options were, and he very proudly told me they made their own lemonade. It was gorgeous and just right - so many soft options are ridiculously sweet.

And of course the waiters came round filling up everyone’s champagne glasses all the time, and I found the nerve to ask if I could have more lemonade.

Sorry for such a long post about my evening out, but no one in real life will get what a big win that was for me

That's lovely @Onewildandpreciouslife and confidence in the bank for the next one!

A bit broken here - dh still quite unwell and neither of us are sleeping brilliantly. But I'm not drinking - whereas before I'd have been all over any excuse for a nightcap. I actually know beyond any doubt that it would be a bad idea.

Hope you're OK @Kate489 . That sounds like a hard weekend, albeit with some sweet moments to treasure.

@PosiePerkinPootleFlump your comment about exercise rang true for me, thank you. I need to get on the bike and ride somewhere I think.

Well done @Onewildandpreciouslife

These wins are so incredibly important, well done for facing an uncomfortable situation with good grace and sobriety.