On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

@Mj20 just going through a hard time and masking it with wine. 2 full bottles last night - three the night before. I didnt do anything stupid I just feel like I am failing my body.

@Nowstrong this is really interested as I’ve previously had this happen to me! Delayed hangziety! I reasoned, at the time, that perhaps my mind was just caught in a bit of an anxious loop! Reset sounds good. Be kind to yourself! And keep hydrated! Just seems to help!

@Needtokickthehabit sorry your struggling. It happens, and it’s happened to all of us on this thread I’m sure! So don’t feel alone!!!!! Try and implement some very small, positive changes perhaps, that are kind to your body? Almost as a means of addressing this failing feeling you have. Just little things like a small walk, fresh air, healthy snack choice. You’ll break the cycle soon and feel better I’m sure. Keep posting for support as this group really is the best xxx

So, it’s been a bit of a strange day. Found out today that the boss wants to sell the business, ok that’s his right, but it was only because I saw people walking around the property that I found out, it turns out DP knew a few days ago but didn’t tell me until I dragged it out of him. Pissed off really, I thought we were meant to be life partners or whatever. So I had 3 drinks tonight, DP was not pleased with this but I am collecting my thoughts tonight and tomorrow he will get an ear full.

@Touty what will this mean for you ?
Do you live at the business ?

No we don’t live there but we are both employed there, the business is across the street from where we live.

Well apparently the boss said that nothing has been agreed and to just carry on as normal….

its a bit unsettling

Morning all! @Mj20 that is really interesting that I'm not the only one this has happened to. Definitively staying hydrated as really trying to stay AF for as long as possible. I think that I'm slowly finding the triggers that encourage me to drink and fortunately being alone isn't one of them, so long as I'm not bored. So definitively keeping my mind busy, when I'm not physically active. As for the triggers, some I can't avoid, so I'm just doing my best.

Since being on this thread I really have progressed from being a daily drinker to a from time to time drinker, trying to be a permanent non drinker. So all in all, pretty pleased with myself. Of course sometimes I'll have a few drinks but definitively have lowered the amounts. Mainly because I've become really sensitive to and critical of how drinking affects my well being. Especially my sleep patterns.
So huge thank you to all of you, your daily thoughts, struggles and successes have helped and are still helping me on this tortuous road to permanent abstinence.
Very cold here, hope you all have a good Sunday. Stay strong.

Hi everyone! So just realised I have completed an A/f weekend! Not a huge accomplishment I know, but the last few weeks I’ve had a few moderated drinks so it’s nice to know I can take it or leave it!!!!!

Im thinking how I’m going to moderate December but don’t have a conclusion yet! So will get back to everyone on that 🤣
@Amdone123 what’s your plan or thoughts? Have you got any ideas yet? I only ask and you’re normally good at thinking ahead!!! Also any sign of grandchild????

@Touty sorry to hear of the unsettled time! Not knowing how things will pan out can be really stressful!!!!

@Nowstrong lovely msg! Sounds like you’re making really positive steps! Much like you it’s been my focus on wellness that has made me moderate. The anxiety/lack of sleep/unhealthy snacking! The list goes on! 🤣

Have a great Sunday everyone xx

Morning, all !
@Nowstrong so much of your post is me.
I've gone from drinking every other day, it being pretty much all consuming, thinking I could never give it up to now.
I have a much healthier relationship with it but, like you, I'm not quite there. I definitely don't think about it as much.
It's resetting the mind but when you've drank for a couple of decades, it takes time.

@Mj20 well done on your af weekend. I'd like to say I've had one, but it's Sunday and I may drink today as I've got cabin fever and feel like going out. I last drank Tuesday though so I'm doing good - day 5.
Regarding December @Mj20 I see Christmas really as just 1 day. I know I'll probably have a few more days 'around' it, especially if we eat out, but overall I'm not treating it much differently.
I'll probably aim.for 25 af days in December. When I do this, it means I don't drink for the sake of it and use them wisely.

I'm still eating properly too and I have 4 more weigh ins, including Christmas day. My present to myself is to be under 13st. I'm 13st 2 now so it's realistic. Losing weight keeps me focused.

@Touty hope you're ok.

@Amdone123 you never disappoint to inspire!!! Ty for sharing!!!

I hadn’t thought of it as looking to how many A/f days I’d choose to have in December but you’re so right. By putting a number on it I’ll use the days I do indulge wisely!!!!

Good luck with your weight! I’m sure you can do it! I’m also continuing to be sensible/move more! My aim is to end the year a stone lighter…. I be got a few more pounds to go, but I really believe I can do it 🙏🏼 I’ll check in on my weight weekly too….

I do know that the weight comes off easier when I’m not drinking (because I don’t lose the Will power and make good choices)! So fingers crossed a positive time ahead!!!!

I believe there’s 5-6 weeks till end of year so indeed @Amdone123 Christmas is but one day, and there’s lots of time to make progress.

Thanks again for your thoughts xxx

Thanks for the tag @Amdone123 .

Not much change for me I'm afraid - still drinking every day (to some extent). I'm going to go and put all those red stickers on my planner now. Feeling very UGH about Christmas approaching. I definitely need a health break. I'm going to aim for AF until Wed and then moderated drinking on a meal out and then back to AF until next night out. Seriously got to get out of this cycle - it feels like pure self sabotage!

Hi all! It’s Sunday night here and I’m reasonably pleased with my week. It still wasn’t my ‘ideal week’ but certainly big improvements on the last few months so that’s progress.

I did find it helpful making my goals totally not about alcohol drinking. My goals were to go to the gym, be focussed on work etc. and I achieved all of that!

Ive drunk 3 nights. I really, really want to get back to only two, but one of my friends threw me off course mid week. I should get more selfish and say no - she would do it to me!

I already have plans this Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I think I’ll enjoy myself Thursday and try to go alcohol free Friday, and one glass Saturday.

How is everyone else going?

@Swannyb , sounds like a good plan. Stay focused - you can do it.

I'm like the a cat on a hot tin roof atm, I'm all over the place. Dragged myself out of bed and the warmth of my dawg, and walked 10k plus. Got a call from my son - I was thinking baby here, but no !!
Did some shopping, ended up drinking - I'm on my 2nd bottle !!
I just want him or her to arrive safely x

Well done @Swannyb !

I bet you are @Amdone123 - the suspense! At least you can be reasonably confident it won't be today now.

I declared how hard it was to DH not pouring myself a glass of wine. He already had a glass of wine and changed the subject (of course). I wish we could battle this together but I can't focus on that - he seems to have completely given up even possibly thinking of trying now. It definitely makes it harder knowing there is wine in the fridge but I can do this!

I poured myself a tonic water in a balloon cocktail glass with ice, that seems to be helping. Currently in the middle of cooking dinner - if I can stay strong until after dinner I think it will become much easier. More than anything a good night's AF sleep is what I need.

I have managed to not drink on Friday or Saturday for the first time in ages - I feel less bad about indulging on Wednesday and Thursday now, I just swapped my days!

@Amdone123 fingers crossed for some baby news soon!

@Coppergate6 stay strong! If it's any consolation, DH and I are terrible even if we're trying to moderate together and if anything it makes us even worse and we end up being bad influences on each other. His "rule" now is only drinking of we're home in the evening together (sometimes rare due to my shifts), but it doesn't always fit with me trying to do weekends only - maybe I should give his way a go. Or aim for 2 or 3 nights a week only but not specify days?

I did well not to drink yesterday - DH called me at work to tell me he was really worried about one of our cats - she's diabetic and it looks like she had a fit. She recovered well and we're going to try and bring her vet appointment forward to tomorrow, but we are having such bad luck with cats lately! They are now under strict orders to be very healthy and not drive me to drink! 😹

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Thanks @Freezingfeetwarmheart - pleased to say I did [stay strong] and I'm finally on one day AF. As predicted, the urge passed once I had dinner and I was so tired later that I went up to bed before 9 pm.

Might be worth giving his way a go - not a bad rule! I'm increasingly worried about my DH - he's always been a daily drinker but he is completely refusing to engage with any moderation talk (mine or his), let alone make any (even vague) attempts at moderating.

@Coppergate7 that's great that the urge passed.
It must be hard worrying about someone else. At least when it's yourself, you're in control and any decisions you make you own. I can't imagine the stress of worrying about someone else. Maybe just give him time to come to the conclusion himself.
Well, I ended up drinking 1.5 bottles - head hurts today, but not too bad. I have work so I'll have to get on with it anyway.
I did also buy some cava yesterday - I'm surprised it's still in the fridge. That's a first !

Serious bender this weekend and last night I went to bed early, slept all the way through and woke having sweat pure alcohol and soaked my pjs'. I feel a bit ill this morning to be honest. Normally after a binge I want a drink the next morning but I think I have sickened myself totally at this point. Thankfully im working from home today and then the kids are back with me tonight so that will keep me busy.

@Needtokickthehabit try and remember exactly how you felt for when you are thinking about drinking later!

@Amdone123 Well done for still having cava in the fridge!

@Coppergate7 Yay you did it!

3 days for me now. I'm off work til Thursday now and will be working through next weekend too so might switch my days again and join DH for a couple. Seemed to work last week anyway!

Cat crisis is over here for now, managed to get in at the vets and turns out she is on too much insulin for her weight, she's lost a bit and still on the same dose as when she weighed 3kg more. So her blood sugar is too low - and now she is living the cat dream and being fed every two hours to get it back up!

She's arrived ! Looking exactly like her older sister. No name, no weight - that's sons for you 🤣❤️

@Amdone123 congratulations!

Aww…congratulations @Amdone123 ! Hope you get some more info and more importantly a cuddle soon ❤

@Amdone123 congratulations! Lovely news!!!! Xxx

Thanks, folks - another reason to be sober !! Xx

Well day one done and done with temptation because there is a bottle in the kitchen but I am far too tired to open it so that is a good start to me AF week anyway. Happy with that. Going up to bed now to keep temptation out of the way. It is there which is like a security blanket for me but for tonight at least I will not touch it.

Congratulations on the baby @Amdone123 !

I drank at the weekend but I’m on day 13 of not drinking in November so it’s going in the right direction. The plan is not to drink until Thursday, we’ll see.