On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

@Nowstrong well done on Day 7, that's great and you sound so positive and determined. Good for you. And the holiday sounds great !
It's so true about being af and feeling more positive.
I've woke up great, then the dog has had a few mishaps which meant I'm off schedule ( and it's only 8am) ; my mind did turn to a 'reward' at the weekend but I've batted it away. I know if I were hungover, I'd be in a worse frame of mind.
If anyone wants a very cute pomeranian, pm me. Only £10.

Haha @Amdone123 I'll take him!!!!
So good to hear the positivity here well done @Nowstrong on day 7 woooop! Love you will be going away it sounds bliss!
I had a productive morning with the school family support worker she is excellent always bringing something new to try with my child to the table, so much support it's amazing so I'm feeling uplifted too!
110 days sober my goodness it's amazing I'm even not 'seeing' my husband's wine when he drinks it at the weekend. Simply amazing. As others have said good sleep is always a winner for me!

Wow @Determineddoris look at you go!

I’m so cross. Drove home looking forward to a glass of Kylie 0% but I was struggling to get the cork out. Asked DH to help but he was in a meeting so I kept trying and the bottle exploded and cut my hand! And fizz went everywhere. I could have cried. I was reminded of that bit in I think it’s The Sober Diaries where she’s on holiday and can’t find a bottle opener for her Becks Blue so bashes it with a stone!

I’ve salvaged one glass, washed out the cut, wiped up the fizz and sent DH for another bottle - which he can open!

@afaloren 🤣🤣 - that would have annoyed me and I'd have seen it as a sign to have a proper drink.
So, well done you. It's great that you like af wine. Wish I did.
@Determineddoris so brilliant to hear you're feeling positive and uplifted. It's all any of us want, for our children to be happy. I'm sure things will get much better from now on.

Well, end of my longggg day and I'm sat in bed with my beautiful dog, cup of hot chocolate. Happiness is.
The For Sale sign is binned 🤣

@Amdone123 I was livid! It’s the only AF wine I like! This is a sign to always have two bottles in the fridge

Day 22 in the bag. Hope everyone else is ok x

Morning all!
You poor thing @afaloren ! Hope your cut isn't too bad and yes that's a really vivid thing I remember about the sober diaries when she's smashing the bottles on the side of her holiday cottage! Well done on day 22/23!! Doing really well. I never imagine I could do any days...those days are so far back and I'm not being complacent still even after all this time and taking one day at a time that's all you can do sometimes!
@Amdone123 hope your evening went ok and you had a great sleep after a long day! I have a long day coming up so must dash! How is everyone else ? @Coppergate6 @Bigbus @EnuffEnuffNow @Nowstrong @Hohofortherobbers @Mykittensmittens @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Touty @enoughisenough4 ?

Last night I REALLY wanted a drink. I had to distract myself with several different things before the feeling passed. As a side note putting ice cubes in squash or even water really elevates it - going to make sure I always have them available! I think they saved me last night. That and only trying to get through the next 20 mins before reconsidering drinking.

I think it is because work wipes me out physically and mentally so that I struggle to do what I really want to do with my evening? Didn't fall asleep easily and then during the night it became apparent that I was developing a cold (beginnings of a sore throat, cough and runny nose...) so maybe it was that? Who knows. I didn't drink and I am very pleased about that. I did end up having a takeaway because I couldn't be bothered to cook though, so now I have no left overs to take for lunch...so do regret that now!

Sorry about the Kylie @afaloren - very annoying - hope the cut isn't too sore/deep.

Ugh. Got to get ready for work now...

I’m here and back on the wagon after wine Fri/sat and a bit Sunday.
however I’m poorly with some horrible cold bug - I’ve done a test for Covid to rule it out - negative - but I’ve such a tight chest and sore throat.
And in a bit of a head mess - DD has had some serious MH issues in the past (she’s a young teen, potentially ASD) and a note has surfaced that she wrote sometime in the past, but she doesn’t know when, repeating that she wants to do herself serious harm. I don’t know when the letter was from and she’s guessing last summer but I didn’t know anything was wrong last summer - she just keeps saying she’s okay now and that’s all that matters - but I feel like a shit parent. I constantly wonder why she is the way she is and if it’s something I did. I was extremely stressed in my pregnancy and I feel very guilty.
Then to top that off I’ve got raging PMT, had horrendous night sweats last night, and it looks like my next period will therefore turn up in 5 weeks - when I’m on holiday in the sun.
so hanging on in there, but feeling a little bleugh all round really.

Morning all!
Hope your cut gets better soon @afaloren but as @Amdone123 said, it would have been a sign for me to have a "proper" drink. You are lucky to like AF wine,'cos I've tried and really don't like it. So I have to stick to AF beer, which is better than nothing. Yep, you need a stock. Congrats on day 23. @Amdone123 you've made me want hot milky drinks in bed now. I'm going to have to find something that I like without chocolate. Perhaps dig out some Horlicks...can't wait for bedtime.

Thank you @Determineddoris for your encouragements, you are my champion. I read your posts for inspiration to continue my battle. Even though you have your problems, you manage to steer away from the WW.

This morning while I was making my pot of tea I was slightly proud of myself in musing that I no longer automatically turn to a glass of wine (or 2, or 3) in the evening when on my own. Now my main temptation time to have a drink would be with company. Even though I often have guests and family with me, they don't care if I don't have wine and stick to whatever I'm drinking. I've told most that I have turned into a healthy bore and we have a chuckle. End of. Just try to stay AF with them.

I think/know that drinking on my own was mainly boredom, I now try to be more proactive and not get lulled into boredom by dreadful TV programs. Am back to reading more and I love audio books in bed. Just listen comfortably and drift off with the timer on. Bliss. Only problem is the next day having to find where I dozed off.

Dentist again this morning, then I plan to go swimming, have to pick-up DGD and drop her off, then friends arriving. No boredom this evening (still looking forward to hot milk drink though).

Thinking of @Bigbus, @Mykittensmittens, @Coppergate6, @EnuffEnuffNow @Hohofortherobbers, @Needtokickthehabit, @Touty, @enoughisenough4 and everyone else. Hope you all have a good, strong day. Still sending those positive vibes

@Mykittensmittens you've got a lot going on. The mama guilt is dreadful. I suffered from this for many years, as I didn't really enjoy motherhood ( I was quite young, not to mention jobless and homeless), I'm sure it's why I drank. But gradually over the years I remind myself that 1) I did my best with what I had, there is no parent manual, its bloody difficult and 2) I can't change it, it's past.
I hope you're feeling better soon. It's awful when you feel so ill.
Is there any day, say at weekend, when you can have a day to yourself ?
@Nowstrong boredom is definitely a trigger. I often drank / drink out of boredom, but I am getting batter at not turning to it. GD is 8 today, and it hasn't occurred to me to have a drink this evening.
@Coppergate6 well done on not drinking. That took a lot of strength. As with boredom, tiredness a big trigger though for me ( at my worst), it was being unfulfilled at work - the days, mornings I worked, were so boring I felt I had to do something interesting, so I started going to town after work, sitting in bars basically.
@Determineddoris I slept well, thanks. I hope you're still feeling uplifted and positive. You're still doing brilliantly.

A good day today beckons for me - and it's going to be af.
Have a great day, folks.

I am failing badly.

@Needtokickthehabit what's happened ?
Don't worry about it - just concentrate on an hour a time.
Do you need to go back to your gp ?

Missing my ex. I just cant believe we are split up plus have not had the kids so nothing else to do. I prob do need to go back to her.

@Needtokickthehabit were you together long? It's natural to miss someone anyway, it might take a while.
Could you ring the gp tomorrow say ?

I know it was alcohol that broke us and that is what keeps us apart but the longer he goes not speaking to me the more i drink to block it out as I dont know what else to do. I cant see GP till Friday.

Hi there, is it OK to post on this thread if I am just trying to cut down? I don't want to trigger those who are abstaining!

Hi @RocketRomanos and welcome. As far as I’m aware this thread is both for those wishing to moderate or those wanting to stop. There are other threads which are abstinence only I was drinking most days but am on Day 23 no booze today but I am going on holiday on Friday where I will probably have a drink. I plan to come back to the thread afterwards though!

Sorry to hear you’re struggling @Needtokickthehabit are there are local alcohol services you could self refer to, or ask your GP to refer you? We are all here if you want to talk.

@RocketRomanos hi and welcome. Yes, this thread is for moderating, abstaining whatever you want.
I'm cutting down mostly. I'd love to abstain but find it too difficult.
Do you have a plan of action ?
@afaloren 23 days is fantastic. I meant to ask if you have a plan for holiday ?
How long are you going for?

Thanks @Amdone123 and @afaloren .

I have been drinking a bit too much this past year, about 3/4 of a bottle of wine 4/5 and sometimes 6 nights a week. And on some occasions a bottle (and those occassions are getting more frequent). It used to be half a bottle 3/4 nights a week for years, but crept up recently.

My plan is to have at least 3 AF days and to drink much less on drinking days. I would like to not drink at all tbh, but whether I can get to that point...

Anyway, AF last night. AF tonight!

@Needtokickthehabit I read your earlier post, sorry you are struggling. How about going to an online AA meeting? There is always one going on somewhere in the world (I checked a couple out recently to see what they were like, but I lurked with no camera or mic on and just listened to people's stories).

@Amdone123 just going for a week (UK) but we usually go to the cidery, the gin distillery, the pub, the wine and cheese shop, etc etc etc! I don’t really have a plan yet I’m going to see how I feel. But I definitely have no intention of wasting any of my mornings hungover!

@RocketRomanos I am atheist and in Ireland. I cant think of anything worse than an AA meeting here as it would be LOADED with religion. I just need to cop myself on to be honest.

Oh, I am sorry, didn't mean to stick my oar in. But I listened in on a multinational one where they said the higher power could be anything you chose. To be honest I find that side of AA a bit difficult to get a handle on, though so I can see why it is not for everyone.

@RocketRomanos well done for being af yesterday and today. That's a great start. Are you af til weekend ? I don't mind af weekends but I've just started 2 new jobs, so I'm busy from 12.30pm til 7.30pm, which I know is normal, but I'm not normal 🤣.
I'm enjoying them but can't help thinking that the weekend, especially Saturday, will be my chill day.
I wish I didn't have to have alcohol to look forward to, but I do. Escapism, really.
If I do drink Saturday, I'll have had 7 straight af days, so there's a plus.
@afaloren your holiday itinerary made me laugh ! It couldn't be much worse 🤣
Still, I'm sure you'll be thinking about the benefits of not having too much once you're there. You're doing really well.