The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

@drybird
@crunchymum
@bunniesbunniesbunnies
@fortheloveofgodwhy
@onewildandpreciouslife
@breathmiller

Would someone more techy than me link the new thread?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4709778-the-freedom-thread-continued-a-thread-for-people-who-wanting-to-enjoy-an-alcohol-free-life-everyone-welcome

Old thread

Thank you for the new thread.

@WendyWagon was asking about DH. Annoyingly, he bounced out of bed at 7am with no memory of last night. He's actually in a really good mood because he became a great uncle overnight. I think we need to talk, but he's ducking me.

How I get him to understand that going out with his mates is fine, but putting himself at risk and being rude and verbally abusive to me is not, I don't know. It could yet be a deal breaker.

@TheOtherHotstepper
Has the DH apologised?

You could tape him.
I had to have a very make or break conversation with my bff on Friday. She has done something that may result in criminal proceedings. I am in a situation where I think she needs professional help. She won't seek it. I have said I won't support her if she doesn't. Eventually we are unable to find the reserves to help people who refuse to believe they have a problem.
I always thought I drank too much, I did look for validation from other drunks. I told my family I could handle it. We now know I couldn't. A big conversation perhaps is needed my friend.

I'm here incognito (rocking in the corner) 😉

I do like a new name 😉 Ms Allovertheworld.
I miss my old one but needs must and I have a few so I can comment on politics etc without someone searching this thread (some of you may remember me being called a booze addled nutter). Ah the joy of social media!
My phone is new to me and I am still learning how to use it.
I have just had two glasses of milk. Early so I don't snore.

Hi, thanks for the new thread. Marking my place. Will be back in a bit.

I'm useless with guessing NC @tryandfindmenow 🙃

Hi I would love to join in. I did nearly a year sober last year and for some reason started again. Day 1 for me total abstinence.

I’d like to join too please! 14 days sober after 1 year 3 months of being back on it. I felt like absolute shit, tired, grumpy, powerless. And in just 2 weeks I am full of energy, sleeping amazingly, being a better parent and in control of my life.

I had 2 years sober and wish I’d have carried it on. But here we are. I know now for sure I can’t drink in moderation so sunshine sober it is ☀️

First time I have come across,
I am suprised I haven't seen this sooner,

As I am a mumsnet Lurker quite often
as in I like to see regularly interesting Ops,

Think it's really Good idea,
As its still a struggle in our society to stay Sobriety lane,
I wish there was so more non Alchol /liw Alchol choice in pub Establishments , restaurants ect too,

I know it has improved a bit /,somewhat to years ago,
Still a long way to go, than token non achol Alternative as Coke or maybe Appletiser ,
I like JTO drinks choice, but after a while of allmost constantly drinking same kinds of non achol drinks 🍸 like this or Fentams Elderflower it gets real boring drink choice,

I never get bored of certain fruit juice drink like pineapple , 🍍,

I often say it's the company you keep makes a good time,
Not the Alchol, really,

If the company you keep is Crap, attracting all sorts of Jeremy Mrkaryle TV series kinds of Dramas with people you know /plus strangers ect,
It's just No good that kind of headwork, !
It's real shit, !
Been there, got sucked into unwelcome dramas, when I just wanted a quiet non alchol drinks)
Cause I used to hang out with Narastistic/other Personality disorders type ex and his friend,
Both Alcholics,
Female had all her 7 kids taken into care her baby and her toddler both adopted, due to being messed up Alchol

I loath feeling pressurised as a almost 50 year old,
To feel that being a non alchol /low Alchol occasionally drinker, that is weird and I must be square Beige personality as boring, or there's something up with me,

I am not a teenager at secondary having peer pressure anymore
It used to feel like it at times though a lot, sometimes /occasionally it still does,

Does anyone anyone experience this then?

Waves hello and jumps in as another new joiner. Still at the early days of being dry, know it's the right thing for me but shit it's hard at times.

What has happened. I turn my back for 24 hrs and we’ve a shiny new thread and a WHOLE NEW GANG!! And someone has name changed which has confuse me more.

thank you @WendyWagon for the new thread.

welcome new sobersisters, sounds like a few have returned to the fold !

I have a solid week of doing shit in the evenings. It has taken over a year of sobriety but I am finally fed up of Netflix 😂

Morning all! Welcome to all the newbies! How lovely to see so many getting on the sober train 🤩

I've name changed due to a post somewhere else, still rocking AF life and eating my body weight in Easter eggs..! I'm currently sat in bed thinking about getting up to carry on with my painting (halfway round the lounge).

Happy Tuesday to you all, much love xx

Found you all!
welcome newbies and well done on all milestones. @tryandfindmenow 😉
im so sorry to hear you lost your brother Sav you really have been through so many tough times. Take care of yourself and be gentle - you are so wise and generous with others and you deserve the same.

I’m 20 months dry and still smiling

Day 8. This is the longest I have been sober in 10+ years. I slept really well on Sunday and Monday, but think that might have been to do with being so active over the weekend. Felt really tired on the couch after dinner last night but took a while to fall asleep in bed and when I woke up about 3am (which happened most nights when I was drinking) it took me a while to turn back over.

How I hope after a few weeks of sobriety that I’ll get a full, uninterrupted 8 hours sleep.

Hope everyone is doing OK and thanks for the new thread and the ongoing support.

Morning all! Thank for the new thread, and welcome to all the new members and name-changers!

Thank you for the new thread.

Today is day 95 for me. I’ve been reading all the posts on the last thread, but it’s been a while since I posted myself. I’m still finding sobriety fairly straightforward and enjoyable and I’m not missing alcohol, but I’m cautious about complacency and know that this might change.

I was walking to work last and noticed I’d stepped on a drawing pin or something - I could feel the metal head bit scratching against the pavement. I removed it from the sole of my shoe when I got to work and found it was actually a sobriety pin! What are the chances?! It was my 90th day sober. I’ve kept it as a little talisman.

@TheOtherHotstepper I’m finding my DHs drinking a bit problematic at the moment too. I don’t mind him drinking, and I’m very conscious that my drinking habits were less healthy than his up until 3 months ago - but at the same time I can see he needs to make some serious changes to his relationship with alcohol- and if he can’t do this for whatever reason, I’m not sure long term what the way forward is. How long have you been sober for?

Welcome to all the newcomers.

Morning all, Captin Wendy here.
Stearing the good ship AF.
The thread did go mad overnight.
I went back undercover for a second sleep. @Adsy1988 i have done the odd 10 hour kip since going AF. Not heard of since being a teenager.
Welcome to all the newbies.
@FlightDeckBuckarooo finding the pin is really something. I would definitely think someone is looking out for me.
@tryandfindmenow I hope you haven't been forced to change your name? Report to MN any stalker stuff. I did and it went quiet. They are watching my posts.

Day at home today with a friend coming for lunch. I wish you all a happy sober day.

@WendyWagon , of course he hasn't apologised. He never does. When he found me sleeping on the sofa, he said I made him feel bad. That didn't sound much like an apology to me.

@FlightDeckBuckarooo, that's it exactly! Apart from The Day We Don't Mention, I will have been sober for a year on 1 May. I'm on a break at the moment, but I've been in therapy since November 2021 and I see things much more clearly now. And yes, I was drinking a lot more than DH because I was drinking every day and behind his back, but I was never rude or argumentative. Up to a certain point it's like dealing with a large toddler, but one more pint and he instantly develops a nasty edge. He needs to grow up basically as well as dealing with a couple of major issues in his life that are just festering.

@TheOtherHotstepper
I can't remember where the analogy is (, on an earlier thread I think) but there is a theory of early booze adopters not growing up. I can understand that. In my day to day life I was Ms business success. When the booze was in I was a big teenage girl. Not my finest moments. Perhaps this applys to your DH? Normal youth may take the path of college nights, a few stags and then too tired with babies to put in the serious lashing. Some of us miss the milestones.
When I heard our awful news last week I surprised myself by not going to the offy. I knew calls would be coming in. I didn't want people saying 'oh Sav has hit the grog again'. Maturity.
I would try the 'disappointed' conversation on him. It works beautifully on teenagers. My husband isn't a drinker but on the odd occasion he does indulge he always says are you OK with me having a glass. Just kindness to someone struggling.
.

Another newbie here to join you. I tried to quit in December but settled for moderating my drinking. I'm sure you all know before I even say it, the moderation didn't last. I've been drinking at least a bottle of wine most days since January with a very very rare alcohol free night.

I drank a bottle and a half on Friday and fell asleep on the couch. My DH had to shape and bake the bread dough I'd left proving and I had no idea until Saturday morning. I slept through the entire thing despite our couch being a few feet away from the kitchen. I spent most of Saturday reading the unexpected joy of being sober, had a glass of wine at 8pm (much later than normal) then stopped because I wasn't enjoying it. On Sunday I went without and told myself that was it, I'm now alcohol free. Of course that wasn't it. I still had a third of a bottle left in the fridge. So yesterday, after work I poured myself a large glass of wine, sat in the garden and enjoyed it knowing it was really my last day of drinking. It's so strange to say but I felt really sad, almost tearful about it. There was still a bit left in the bottle so I poured it and it tasted crap. I poured the second glass down the sink, happy to be really done. My cupboards and fridge are full of cordials, J2O and smoothies. Anything I can use to convince myself its an after work treat. I struggle to sleep without alcohol making me pass out so I've felt worse than usual for the last two mornings. I'm hoping I start waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed soon.

Thank you all so much for the warm welcome. You lovely people 💐

@FlightDeckBuckarooo that's spooky about the pin.

@Adsy1988 well done 8 days is a big achievement. I hope to reach that also.

Today is day 3 for me. Touch wood I am feeling ok with no thoughts of drinking, will see how long that lasts. Taking things one day at a time. For some reason if I think I am never going to drink alcohol again it freaks me out a bit. My sleep is getting better more deeper and better quality. I've lost some bloat. Energy feels low today. Definitely loving how much more in the moment I am and how much extra time I have.

Wishing everyone a lovely and sober day

It’s completely understandable when you first stop drinking to feel freaked out or sad at the thought of never drinking again. We all have a long and complex relationship with alcohol , so it’s natural that you can’t just flip a switch on that. Just take it one day at a time.

@workinprog - I used to fall asleep on the couch all the time. The antidepressants made it worse. Every morning my DH would say the same thing “What time did you come to bed? I did try to wake you.” And I’d go downstairs and check how far down the second bottle I’d got. Ugh.

I’m 12 months sober now, and my life is immeasurably better. But I got here one day at a time.