The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

Hi all . Just wanted to check in . Was a regular poster in my early days of sobriety and I think about this thread sometimes and how it literally got me through some days .

I’m now 19 months sober and consider myself a non drinker .

To all those struggling , keep going . Keep starting again if that is what it takes . I promise it’s worth it .

happy Easter xxx

Good to see you @Adm1010new - I remember you from my early days on the threads. 19 months is fantastic!

Had an odd experience last night - went to a theatre and after the interval the people on both sides of me had white wine in plastic cups. I don’t remember a time since sober when I experienced the smell of white wine (my old poison) so strongly. I found myself both wanting it and being revolted by it at the same time. In the end I just thought how odd it was I used to drink that stuff all the time. I’ve also been very conscious in recent days how many things I thought I enjoyed were mainly an excuse to drink wine and check out.

Have a good Easter everyone x

Morning all and a big wave to @Adm1010new 🤩 I also struggle with the smell of wine .. bizarre to think we'd drink the toxic smelling stuff.

Home alone this Easter weekend, have arrange a walk and talk down the beach with a friend to get me out. Apart from that it's DiY for me! Have a great weekend all x

Good morning all. Happy Easter.
@Adm1010new lovely to see you on the thread. Congrats on 19 months AF.
@Onewildandpreciouslife I totally agree about the smell of wine. One of my first quit lit reads (Craig?) describes wine as mouldy fruit and water. I thought nooo. Now I am not so sure as I find it fusty.
Son coming from London. He doesn't drink. Will be a full Mrs Sav house for Easter. I might even get myself an egg!!

Hello, hope it's ok to join the thread. I stopped drinking in January, had a two week wobble in March but am now back and committed to an AF life. I just can't stand the day(s) after any more- my hangovers make me feel completely disconnected from the world and as if all the joy has drained out of life, sort of hungover in my soul. It's not worth it.

I wondered if anyone had any suggestions for nice non-alcoholic drinks that seem a bit celebratory? I always used to love the way that the first drink of the evening marked the end of the working day and the beginning of relaxation- a small ritual- so I'd love to recreate that without alcohol. I quite like a Seedlip Spice with tonic and an orange slice. Would love some other ideas.

@FullBloom welcome.
I like a premixed Marks G and T. It is herbier than faux gin. I am also a Gordon's AF girl. I buy huge lemons and squeeze half into my drink. I bought myself a new glass for it. I never drank gin as a boozer but strangely enough I like this.
Others will recommend I am sure, there is an Italian aperitif that is AF but I have forgotten the name?
I have never found a decent white wine that is alcohol free. They are either too sweet or old socks for me.
I also like a pint of milk. Not allowed as a kid as there was so many of us but I love it, blue top too. It feels naughty drinking it but it is doing my bones good.

Hello everyone. So nice to read everyone's updates after a very difficult night. Had to fight the urge to dash to the shops. But the morning feeling makes me glad I resisted. And I did think about this thread and how ashamed I would have been in starting to post on it and then slipping up so soon... It's encouraging to read the update from @Adm1010new , congratulations on 19 months - that must be a hard-won but worthwhile victory.

Amazon have delivered "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" this morning, so looking forward to reading that. For a while, I have been playing back-to-back episodes of "Saturday Kitchen" on the BBC iPlayer throughout the night to keep me sane (trouble sleeping) but I'm beginning to suspect that the wine recommendations might be counter-productive.

On the AF drinks front, my pub tipple of choice is fresh orange juice mixed with lemonade. Lovely on a warm day. I also quite like the M&S cucumber and mint fizzy water. Chocolate milkshake is still my current go-to though (Slimming World be damned!!). A long walk with the dog late afternoon to tire me out is my strategy for today. I finally got sober for my last (taken from us too soon) dog; she deserved better and was worth it. New dog seems to be another true treasure, worth continuing the fight for. He doesn't deserve to have to put up with drunk me.

Hope you all have a happy Easter. x Love and strength to all. xx

@REP22 I love my little cockapoo. I had a jack Russell before Mr Digby. We had German Shepherds as kids as my mum was a rozzer. I love cucumber and mint so I will seek that out tomorrow. Hopefully everyone is doing UK.

Oh I love a chocolate milk @REP22 ironically it used to be my hangover craving when I was in my 20s.

I'm on day 4. I felt pleased with myself this morning because I didn't drink yesterday, despite the craving. We got up quite early, tidied up the garden (first big clean up since autumn) then went to the garden centre to get new plants, then did some more gardening. It was all going well until we went to the shops to get beer for DH. I knew he'd ask if I wanted some wine and, for a second, I debated saying yes. I was thinking that the last few days have been alright so maybe I was wrong about being an alcoholic and I could go ahead and have a drink, because it's sunny and a long weekend. Then I realised that only an alcoholic would be having that conversation with themselves after just 4 days 🤣

Morning all.
Gosh it's sunny here.
I have itchy gardening fingers. Having not had a garden for two years I am champing dear hearts.
My brother's daughter was being a mare last night so I turned my phone off. Would never have done that in years gone by. I would have been having a full on drunken text fight! When I got upset I needed the drink to say what I thought. Yesterday I didn't bother. Bed for me with the gardening programme. I think I will have my large bird bath turned into a water feature. I am going to try a bit of yoga too when I move. I see a sensory garden with lots of herbs.
The only thing missing is the sea but I will have a health club with a pool within walking distance. Hoorah.
Have a peaceful day my sober sisters.

Well done @WendyWagon would have been so easy to have picked up the bottle (and phone) and then regretted it this morning.

Day 12 for me. Had a small gathering at a friends house yesterday, was only meant to be for a few hours but went on until 11ish. Proud to say I didn’t waver, although I took the car so knew I couldn’t have a drink. It’s amazing how you come to realise how loud and annoying some people can be with a drink in them when you’re the sober one. Slept like a log when we got home.

Today will be my biggest test yet. The sport I play begins today for the first time this year, it’s a pretty big event in the club and naturally leads to copious amounts of alcohol before, during and after. I don’t want to drink, I have no intentions to drink but I know people will ask and try to buy me a drink. Need to be strong and keep my resolve.

Hope everyone has lovely plans for their Bank Holiday weekend!

Hello everyone.

I have been down this road many times before, and posted on previous threads, including Braves Battle Bus under different names. I always decided I could moderate, but I can’t.

Reading Alcohol Explained by William Porter has been really helpful. I now have a much better understanding of why I craved alcohol, and I no longer do. I haven’t had a drink this year, and hardly think about alcohol.

I have enjoyed going out with friends sober, and observing their behaviour. I suspect they think it’s another phase but I feel very different about it this time. Still on my guard though.

Spending the weekend spring cleaning and sorting out my wardrobe. Might go for a walk on the beach tomorrow.

Thanks for this thread.

Your post made me smile @workinprog . I used to catch myself thinking “Gosh - I feel so good! Imagine how good I’d feel with some wine as well!” Nice try, brain, but not today.

Sorry you’re having ongoing family trauma @WendyWagon but well done on resisting.

Good luck today @Adsy1988 . Sport and alcohol are so enmeshed, aren’t they? Which is very odd when you think about it. There’s a gym near me at the moment promoting a triple workout Friday followed by a glass of fizz because “no Friday is complete without it” - er, really?

Welcome @rothbury - glad you found us!

"Nice try brain" was exactly what I thought @Onewildandpreciouslife it really was the most ridiculous thing.

@WendyWagon well done on not drinking. A sensory herb garden sounds lovely. I planted six types of mint yesterday. I'm obsessed with it. I made a couple of alcohol free mojitos and they were delicious. Just as refreshing as the real thing. I'm going to try it with a few muddled strawberries for our BBQ tonight.

Good luck today @Adsy1988 Sports events are the worst when trying to avoid alcohol. Hopefully you don't have too much pressure from everyone else.

@rothbury thanks for reminding me about that book. I've seen it recommended quite a few times. Enjoy the wardrobe clearing. I did a massive cull of my clothes a few weeks ago and feel so much better. I have space to put everything away, I can see what I actually have and I finally figured out why it's so hard to find something to wear in the morning (most of my clothes were from the old formal office days and when I regularly went out to formal events, hardly anything was casual which is 99% of my life now).

Morning all.
Legitimate chocolate eating day!

Day 13. I’m so pleased that I managed to go to my event yesterday and not cave! As expected drinks were flowing from the get go, yet I wasn’t at all tempted to have one myself. We only played for an hour or so before we all got pulled in to have drinks and food, but I’m delighted to say my drinks order was a non-alcoholic Koppaberg.

A couple of people did question why I wasn’t drinking, but a quick motion of my hands to indicate I was driving later stopped any follow up questions. I left after a few hours as I was getting a bit bored, but I’m looking forward to the season ahead, full in the knowledge that I can enjoy it whilst not drinking.

Thanks for the words of encouragement @Onewildandpreciouslife @workinprog, it really is a massive help.

I hope everyone has a brilliant Easter Sunday and is tucking into all the chocolate!

Hello all just throwing my oar in! Enjoy the chocolate each and every one of you. I’ve been maniacally gardening the last few days. Glorious to be out in the sun ☀️

Good morning everyone.
Well done for getting through your event yesterday @Adsy1988

Today is my 100th sober day. My first day was NYE. I’m so much happier not drinking. Sure I miss the occasional drink - I think someone on the previous thread described them as “good drinks” - the sunny beer garden glass of wine with friends etc, but as it was pointed out you can’t have the good drinks without having ALL the bad drinks. And I don’t want the bad drinks.
I’m gaining my confidence back and my health too. I’ve lost 35lb since quitting. My skin looks better. My eyes better. I’ve not saved much money yet but I’ve booked and paid for 2 weekends away with my Dd so I’m happy with that.
Originally I told people I was doing dry Jan, and then that I was extending it to 100 days. I was a bit worried about what I was going to say after that - but actually so far when it’s come up people have everyone’s attitude has been “well if you’ve done 100 days and not missing it then what’s the point in starting up again now?” - which is obviously totally true, and also a lot more supportive than I was expecting. I know I’ll encounter negative responses too - and people encouraging me to have 1 drink etc, but right now I feel I’ve got the strength to deal with them!

I hope you all have a lovely Easter Sunday whatever your plans may be :-)

@FlightDeckBuckarooo congratulations. 100 days is the magic number. So pleased for you.
@Adsy1988 well done on resisting at your event.

@FlightDeckBuckarooo woohoo to 100 days. What a fabulous achievement. Also a big well done to @Adsy1988 learning to swerve those situations can be tricky. 👏
I'm home alone, scoffing toasted hot cross buns in bed and drinking tea. Stexh has the kids.. wanted me to join them on a trip to London. I agreed to go along, he then offered I stay over the night before.. I thought about it (fuck knows why) .. then declined. He's as controlling as he ever was, even said he had some white wine in the fridge for me.. it's made me super cross he thinks I'm that much of a pushover. Today is the day my new lawnmower comes out.. keeping myself busy. Have a lovely Easter Sunday all xxx

Got this badge today! Apart from when I was pregnant I've never abstained this long. Like others I miss the 'good' drinks but not the bad ones. But am starting to see an alcohol free future without too much regret? Sadness?

@FlightDeckBuckarooo whop whoop for the 100 days. And also well done on the weight loss. I think I’m the only person who hasn’t lost weight! I don’t have much to lose but a token 10lb would have been nice 🤣.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered well done for the 21 weeks. Almost half a year and then a year is over before you know it

Thank you everyone!
congratulations on the 21 weeks @MyGhastIsFlabbered and a big well done for avoiding STBXH @tryandfindmenow . Great achievements!
@Fortheloveofgodwhy I could still do with losing another stone. I suspect that it’ll take me the next hundred days if not longer though! It’s been very nice though having the initial weight come off so easy. And such proof of what an unhealthy lifestyle id got myself into.

@FlightDeckBuckarooo well done! I am so jealous of your weight loss, I haven’t lost an ounce 😢

You know, those “good drinks” aren’t about the alcohol in your glass at all. How could it be? It’s about the feeling of being on holiday in a sunny piazza, at lunch with a group of great friends, having lovely food at the end of a hard week at work.

The alcohol/ethanol is an irrelevance.

You’re totally right @rothbury. It’s the moments and not the drinks that are the “good” bits.
I’ve generally just been drinking water or Diet Coke when I go out - depending on what we’re doing, but the few times I’ve had a AF beer or a Virgin Mary its had that same good drink feeling.