On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

I would love that @Amdone123😀!

The not drinking at home thing just felt right today - a challenge but not a challenge so challenging it felt unachievable. It really is my 'at home' drinking that is the biggest problem. Likewise the sofa in the evening thing - the initial though was no TV but that was too much! I've just turned the TV on now - but it is the one in my study. I can MN, do bits of work etc.

I've had a much more productive day that as been the recent norm so I'm feeling much better all round. I'm full of hope that I'm going to make some real changes this year - focusing on the process rather than a particular goal. No more boom and bust! Just gently developing my own rules to live by.

I did something similar regarding driving tonight @Determineddoris - offered my son a lift to the station at 8 pm hours ago so that if I was feeling the urge, it became out of the question! Then coming on here upstairs, rather than sitting on the sofa with my ipad, was the next step in breaking my usual evening drink cycle. Sometimes it is easier to focus on putting things into our lives rather than removing stuff! I'm going to try that approach with my diet too.

Right! Going to explore ZOE a bit now...

@Coppergate3 , that's sounds great. You sound really determined and positive. You can make those changes - I do think slow n steady wins the race.
Yes, so interesting the not drinking at home angle.
I've said for a while, I'm abstaining etc but I've never said No More At Home.
It feels achievable, too ( though I'm sure at times it will be hard), because I'm not saying I can't drink when I go out.
I just hope my future place of abode isn't Wetherspoons 😩

@Amdone123 not drinking at home is my rule and worked well for me. It was one of the reasons I ended up on this thread because not only was I starting to drink at home, but I was doing it alone. Not that there is anything wrong with either of those things, but they had been something I had never done before. Would allowing yourself say 1 - 2 nights a week to drink out make it easier to abstain? You plan at the start of the week which nights they will be depending on what you've got on? That is what I have been doing and it helps me say no to myself on the other days because I am not totally restricting myself, I just have to be patient.

@Swannyb , that's a great idea, thank you. I could do that depending on what's happening. This week I'll be fine - Friday evening we're all meeting for tea in a pub but I don't want to drink wine then ( told dh already) as the Big Meal is Saturday and I don't want to be tired, etc.

Regarding my 20 day mission, I only drank 3 days. One of those was just 1 bottle of wine and the other 2 were this weekend. 2 on Friday, 2 on Sunday.
I think that's a lot - I suppose I'm not the only one in the country who drank too much, but no, I think that's too much.
I am a bit of a perfectionist sometimes.

Just catching up. I too have been drinking over the bank holiday - we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves I guess - I did drink a lot and from early in the day, so not too impressed with myself, but I was away so...Need to not drink now until Friday - we are away again so no chance of moderating over the weekend.

It is so much harder with the nice weather coming too. I don't know how I will ever not drink over a weekend, hats off to you that do!

Yeah, it did cross my mind that I would suddenly be suggesting lots of meals out @Amdone123 ! I don't think so though...hopefully not anyway!

I had a nap after work. Not great I know but at least I'm not exhausted now...hope I can sleep tonight and not be tempted to do the same tomorrow! tonight feels quite different from last night - because I've been to work I suppose.

I am quite excited/hopeful about this 50 day challenge - I'm hoping it is enough time to change some habits. I can see it potentially being the starting point for a lot of subtle but significant changes. We'll see!

@Coppergate3 , it's great you're excited. It's good to be positive. I'm looking forward to it too as, like I say, I haven't really looked at it from this angle before. We can only try. I'm on day 2 of no drinking at home , ✅
I worked out that the 50 days takes us to the 26th June - a few days before my birthday. I hope I'm able to say I gave it my best shot.

We can do this @Amdone123 ! Hopefully we won't resort to decanting wine into a thermos and going for walk 😂. Oh no. I wish I hadn't had that thought!

Good luck on your 50
day challenge @Amdone123 and @Coppergate3 .

I am back on the food and drink wagon, I think I’ll likely have one drink tomorrow but no big binges.

Good Morning Everyone,

Great to read everyone's different goals and achievements. I'm feeling quite positive after returning from my holiday. Done 3 AF days since I returned, not planning on drinking this week at all. Might have some wine Saturday evening, we shall see!

Hope everyone has a good day and keep up the amazing work 😃

@Bigbus , thanks. It's hard to get off that food n drink treadmill. I can get like that. Stick to your plan and you'll be fine. @Manyrivers , that's great - it sounds like a plan.

Well, I've been up nice n early, walked to my cleaning job, popped to tesco, walked home.
Although I didn't have any urge to drink yesterday - none at all - I have to keep reminding myself how productive I am without an hangover.
Have a great day, folks !

I was so close to drinking last night when I was cooking my meal. Then I didn't. I realised that I didn't actually want to drink it was just out of habit.

I mean for a long time it wouldn't have crossed my mind to reach for a drink just because it had turned 5pm. It wasn't a problem then why does it have to be now? I just have to get out of the habit.

@youboozeyoulose , well done. That's exactly what it is, a habit !
I'll find the 50 day challenge difficult at times because I've probably drank at home, on my own, for near on 30 years !
I'm going to try, though.

@Amdone123 Yup I've probably got at least 15 years of drinking at home behind me but I'm going to try too.

Hello everyone, Hope you’re all good and doing well on your challenges.
I had two drinks last night, which I shouldn’t have done, but there was a time (not THAT long ago) where I wouldn’t have been able to stop at two, so I’m taking that as a step forward in my journey to normalise my drinking.

Ive had an AF night tonight and tomorrow is partners AF night too, so that should be fine. I did some study tonight and am getting into a more regular routine with that.

Read a brilliant article today about Pride versus Pleasure. It really resonated in terms of my relationship with alcohol

More tomorrow, Am knackered :)

@EnoughEnoughnow , that's great stopping at 2, well done.
I am shattered - tiredness is a massive trigger for me, as is cooking. So, as tired as I am, I was excited to cook a really nice meal, and the thought did cross my mind.
I've not though. I'm actually looking forward to a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is a busy one.
Day 3 ✅

Well done @Amdone123 - I ticked it off too :). I was out yesterday until 9 pm, I had to remind myself not to pour a glass of wine and sit watching TV on the sofa when I got in. I don't think I had the urge, just the habit. I think it is getting easier. Combining the two things together definitely seems to be making them both easier.

Thanks @Bigbus - how have you been getting with your food and drink plan?

Yeah, I think a big part of it is habit @youboozeyoulose . I'm trying to introduce new (positive) habits instead - work in progress...hope this 50 day challenge goes at least some way to breaking the drinking at home habit.

Hi @Manyrivers - hope your alcohol free week is going well!

Was the article online @EnoughEnoughnow ? Well done for moderating - hope you've had a good night's sleep!

Day off for me today. I always look forward to it but usually feel like I waste it. I'm in full control of that though. Hope I can report back on a productive day later...

@Coppergate3 , that's great.
Yes, I sometimes think I'm best off being busy. It's when I'm sat at home, definitely boredom, that the Devil makes work for Idle hands !
Day 4 today, 8% charged ( I think weirdly , to say the least).
Do you have a tick list for today ? ( another quirk of mine).

I've been up early, 1st job done, done lots of housework and prepped tea. It called for white wine reduction so I had a slight panic til I realised it was included.
I'm actually feeling really positive I can do it. It's not that extreme really and just like @Swannyb said, I know I can have wine on Saturday so I'll look forward to that.
( I've just realised I've done this before. About 12 years ago my ddis and I went to ww. We both had 2 stone to lose. I did it by being permanently hungry and having 1 glass of red wine with a carvery on Sundays ).

Thanks @Amdone123 and we’ll done on ticking another day off.

@Coppergate3 I can’t post a link on my iPad but if you google “Pleasure vs Pride - Becoming Better” you should hopefully find it. Awesome article not actually about drinking but about making the choice between what we WANT to do and what we think we SHOULD do. We see it as being a choice between pleasure and doing something hard, but if we realise the hard stuff is what gives us pride, which is a deeper and longer lasting form of pleasure, them it becomes a choice between two pleasures, and we just have to decide which one you want most. It reminded me of what you said @Amdone123 about paying it forward. That’s a very simplistic overview - its well worth a read :)

I felt great today - I hadn’t drank and I studied and tonight I’ve done the same. Tucked up in bed now, ridiculously early - just gone 8pm - but I just feel like reading :) And I have a cat beside me :)

Good luck everyone x

Such a strong craving earlier. No idea why. May be because I'm tired. Worked hard today, walked 20k steps, so possibly the 'reward' thing.
Anyway, I'm home, in bed with a latte.
I really want to give the 50 day challenge a good try.

@EnoughEnoughnow , sounds like a really good day. Bet you wake up nice and refreshed, too.
I read some of the article and it reminded me of when I looked at the wine in my local shop and walked away. Omg, that feeling of pride and empowerment, really, stayed with me for days. Here's to more of them.

Hope everyone is OK ❤️💯

Thank you @EnoughEnoughnow - I'll try and find it this evening. Well done on your studious and alcohol free days!

No list today @Amdone123 - I do use them though, in various forms! I had a day of doing just basic admin/housework jobs, went out for lunch with DH as he is working from home today and played the piano. So I wouldn't say I wasted it but I also wouldn't say it was tremendously productive - it was fine!

20K steps - wow! Impressive. Hope the urge passed for you?

I've got no urge to drink alcohol right now but I do really want to go and sit and watch TV on the sofa. I think I'm going to allow myself as I have been home most of the day and I am done with pottering about the house! I need to tweak that rule then so it still works for me...I'll have a think.

Checking in with everyone, work is a bit heavy since I've returned from holiday. Ive been working long hours and not had time to read much of the posts, sorry! From what I see people have made good progress since the start of our journeys. Proud of you all!

AF free day 5 for me here. Felt the urge driving home from work last night and tonight but didn't act on it. I've enjoyed feeling bright in the mornings and being productive in the evenings. Amazing what you can get done around the house when your not laid out on the sofa gulping wine and munching crisps!

@Amdone123 When I said in my last post “That’s a very simplistic overview” I was talking about my synopsis of the article, and not you paying it forward. I just read back and realised it had come out wrong. 😱♥️ Sorry!

Well done to you and @coppergate and everyone else who’s tried this week.

It’s Friday and on Sunday which would be my AF night, we’re going to a gig which involves being away for a couple of nights so I won’t be AF but will aim to be moderate.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Waves to @Arrrrrrragghhh @Bigbus @Determineddoris @Manyrivers @Mj20 @Steppered @ShinyShinyShinyBootsOfLeather @YouknoweverythingJonSnow @Starlia and everyone else x

My 16-year-old is about to start her GCSEs and I think this is going to test my ability to moderate!

@EnoughEnoughnow , no worries. I understood what you meant 🤣
I'm sure you'll be ok moderating this weekend.

@Manyrivers , well done on Day 5. You're so like me ; having the thought but ignoring it. And recognising the positives versus the negatives !

@Bigbus , yes, I understand that. I think I'd be driven to it, too. Maybe say if you have a drink, you'll alternate with soft drinks, or moderate like you can do.
@Coppergate3 , I often walk 20k steps. I love walking and could walk forever. But my legs were sore last night and I'd planned to go to zumba. I'm not very realistic sometimes. I still think I'm 25.
I hear you regarding the TV watching - sometimes we just need to switch off ( us not the TV !).

I've been up early, got lots done. I just realised that even though I popped into tesco, I didn't think about buying wine. A small win as tennis is on today then later we're going away for the weekend. Before, I would have definitely drank - it wasn't unusual, at all.
Progress ❤️