The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

@2023forme It is hard for your family, even harder for you.
I cannot believe your DH doesn't want you to get well. Insults won't help. You are ill not in need of a 'hair shirt'
You need the support of your GP (if you can get an appointment, private £140). The first three days and then three weeks are hard but to push through will give you so many benefits. Have you got some sweets or ripe fruit in? It works for most people. We all know exactly how much we drank and some will need medical support. Even the most dragonish of doctors receptions will help if you say I urgently need alcohol support. You know at AA you don't have to join as such? You can just listen at an open meeting. I go occasionally in dark glasses.
Every day you will feel better I promise you that.

@WendyWagon thanks but I’m ashamed to say I’m already doing all these things. GP started me on anti depressants at my request - didn’t stop me. I’m under the care of the alcohol and drugs rehab service - didn’t stop me. Went to AA and smart - didn’t stop me. Read every quit lit book and did Annie Grace alcohol experiment- didn’t stop me. I’m even on Antabuse ffs but all I did was pretend I’d taken it and plan my next binge - I’m that far gone! I’m way over the “bottle of wine a night” problem. Fuck - writing this down is really hitting home how far along the line I am.

hubby thinks he depressed- can’t say I blame him. I think for a start I need to take the Antabuse under supervision- that away if I got a compulsion to drink, I wouldn’t be able to for 2 weeks and by then it would have gone. And get some proper therapy to help deal with my childhood and self destructive personality which I’m utterly convinced I have. When I’m at this stage, I’m 1million % certain this time that’s it - then the dreaded compulsion comes, I give in and it’s a shit show.

@2023forme ah. However you have said it now and I believe shame needs to see the light. If we don't tell anyone how it really is, we can't get real help. By writing it down it is progress. Would you consider rehab? My friends partner just paid for two weeks, £2k a week. Hampshire somewhere I think. I use to spend £100 a week on booze.
My brother is a recovering alcoholic. He finally gave up after 20 years so he can have a kidney transplant (unrelated illness, but not helped by the grog). Believe me if he can do it you can. I was so pleased to think I may keep my little brother a bit longer.
Pull all the stops out, think seriously about the big guns help. X

@WendyWagon - I think rather than rehab per se I’m going to look for a private therapist. I’ve had NHS counselling and some “free” counselling via my employer but the more I read about things, the more I think I need a therapist who specialises in trauma - rather than a counsellor. That’s my job for the weekend. Off to work now so day 4 is in the bag!

take Care everyone ❤️

Congratulations on day 4 @2023forme. You're fighting the good fight.

I'm still hanging in there, although mid week isn't really my challenge. I'm going to go swimming with DD Friday night. I love swimming and I am hoping it will be a good way to unwind from the working week instead of what I usually do.

Really well done for your honestly @2023forme its hard to face the truth, realise how bad it’s got and then open up about it. Your plan sounds a good one. I’m wondering though if you give all those things you’ve tried before another go - such as smart etc alongside a therapist to help you deal with the emotions. Im wondering if it needs tackling from both angles iykwim?
Wilfred arrived today. I thought you could have it as a hot toddy with hot water but it didn’t really work. Not sure what would.

I dreamt I had some Prosecco last night and woke up so disappointed in myself! I didn't even have it as part of a big celebration - I just had it because it was there!

Sorry I've been AWOL - am struggling with a severe 'spoon' shortage!

Morning all.
Drinking dreams are awful aren’t they @MyGhastIsFlabbered - I wake up feeling so guilty!

Did you get to the house @WendyWagon , or is that today? Getting muddled with my days.
January is such a grim month, isn’t it? Ah well, onwards!

Morning- tea in bed on a blustery day is very comforting
@MyGhastIsFlabbered as long as it was just a dream! 🥄
@Onewildandpreciouslife I’ve decided that after this weekend the worst bit of January is done and if use my binoculars I can spy spring…….
@2023forme how are you today? If you home after work are you still considering taking your medication with supervision? Today will be number 5 for you and a worthy target - researching and finding an appropriate therapist could be a game changer.

Morning all.
Very late today as I went back to bed, up early and felt a bit crock. Snuggled down and here we are!
@Onewildandpreciouslife we get the keys next month to the house. About six weeks to wait. A bit like Christmas as a kid. Even the DH is excited and he could live in a shed!
I am having a weird thing with food, I don't fancy anything. I am getting the 'have you eaten police' now. I was once a size 8 (a life time ago). I think they are over thinking it in respect of transfer theories. I have gone off cheese however I have proved I could still mainline crisps!
Have a good day my friends.

DH on the phone to his mate who we are going to see in a couple of weeks:

DH: Don't forget that she (ie me) doesn't drink any more.

Friend: No problem, she can just have a glass of wine with dinner.

No I can't!

Day 53 (again)

@AlloftheTime @StayingVigilant @MerylSqueak thanks for the good thoughts. I’m in the bath and it will be an early night so day 5 almost done. I’m feeling fine physically but still emotionally fragile. DH really opened up about just how depressed my situation was making him - I’d only really “heard” the anger and frustration but the depression he is feeling has really hit home. Him and my son are away on a football trip this weekend and my daughter will be working so I’ll be home alone so naturally he is anxious about that. I’ve only had 2 days of Antabuse so we both know I could probably drink and be ok. But I won’t be - no way Satan! I’ve got a lovely weekend of self care planned with only myself (and my 🐱) to please and I will be doing so without the demon drink.

I think it’s a good to start therapy in tandem with smart - so I’ll defo do that. I also read something on another thread (think it was @brightspice) about reframing from what you are losing to what you are gaining. So taking inspiration from I think it was Rebel Wilson (not sure if I’m right) I am declaring 2023 my year of health!! I’m going to focus on me and try different healthy activities . Weekly massages will feature (£ permitting) and I’m going to try out meditation properly. Lots of healthy eating and drinking. Get back into reading and exercising. I’m aware this is all a bit pink cloud but hey, it’s a positive mindset!!

happy Thursday everyone!

It was rebel Wilson - just started following her on insta. I had a magnum billionaire in the bath but this is my new “eating whilst submerged in water” goal!!

@2023forme good to hear from you sounding so positive. It seems communication between you and your husband has opened up and that could mean a rebuilding of trust. Enjoy the bath - another day 😊

Some people just don’t get it do they @TheOtherHotstepper? I know people say it’s because it shines a light on their drinking, which I’m sure is 100% correct but I also think there’s a selfishness involved in that they’re special so you’ll break your rule for them. Errr no!
Really positive @2023forme and having a plan for the weekend focusing on you, you and more you (teeny bit of cat) will be excellent. Definitely plan ahead though and think about strategies if you are tempted. Some people call it a ‘toolbox’ - things that help us move on, distract etc. It’ll be good to start building your toolbox. And remember we are here to talk you down if needed xx

Morning all! Day 300 for me today - a nice round number.
Going to stay with the in-laws this weekend, for the first time since getting sober. They’re lovely, but I used to drink quite heavily through boredom on previous visits. Have planned a run for tomorrow morning so can focus on that.

Well done on day 53 @TheOtherHotstepper . Sorry your friend is so thick, but it’s good that your DH is thinking of your needs.

Good luck this weekend @2023forme . Magnum billionaires are the food of gods, as far as I’m concerned! I’d make sure you have a plentiful supply! Agree with @StayingVigilant on thinking of your “toolkit” of alternatives ready. Do you know what your triggers are? We’ll be here if you want a chat

Morning all.
Stressful Friday here we come. Daughters uni accommodation cocked up (she was in bits) and my dear friend's funeral tomorrow. I would like to crawl under a rock and hide. I will need cheese however I am not going near the shops. Feckty feck. I will definitely need a serenity prayer today.

Morning tea done ✅
@StayingVigilant that’s a good point about others wanting you to compromise your decisions for them!
@Onewildandpreciouslife congrats! I love a nice round number (or any number really!) sound words about toolkits and you’ve thought about the coming weekend - it’s all these tactics and ideas which ease the way and talking about them reminds us all that planning is key. Enjoy your run.
@WendyWagon can only send calm thoughts - hope the accommodation gets sorted soon, your poor daughter. I hope the funeral provides an opportunity to share your loss with others close to him.
Saw these words and thought of you;

And just like the moon, you shall go through phases of light of dark
and of everything in between.
And though
you may not always appear with the same brightness, you are always always
whole.
-wheresmollie

@AlloftheTime thank you.
I have instructed husband to buy pizza. I might go mad and have fish and chips tho!
Just had a huge development on the job front. International biggie. Blimey. I thought I was on the scrap heap again. No drinking in this country so it would be perfect😇

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife and @StayingVigilant . @WendyWagon - I hope things go as well as they can under the circumstances this weekend. I’ve only had the experience of funerals where death was at the inevitable/blessing stage (ie very elderly) or people not especially close to me (eg friend’s parents type thing) and those were bed enough as you feel the pain of those who were close and the preciousness of life. So I hope you can get through it in one piece. I’m reminded of a saying I once heard “some days are just brutal, drinking won’t make them any better” although I guess it can temporarily numb the pain. 💐for you.

so today for my year of health quest, I bought a nutribullet, some decent Bluetooth headphones for walking/podcast listening and a fruit platter, chia seeds, oats and natural yoghurt. Not gonna lie though….. I was starving so bought a bar of Lindt chocolate and polished it off on the way home! I’m not going to deny myself the odd treat but I’m going to stop the “well it’s better than drinking” mantra.

I’ve moved around the contents of a few kitchen cupboards which I’ve been meaning to do for ages and will make my mornings so much easier. I’ve also ordered an expensive (for me) Dorma duvet set and sheet - the flipping sheet was £30 but I thought - fuck it, it’s better than drinking lol! I usually buy 5 quid sheets from asda but I can afford the good stuff so it’s times to believe I deserve nice stuff. Here’s to a peaceful and sober weekend ❤️

Going to friends for dinner tonight. I’m taking a few cans of AF G&T (it’s 0.05% alcohol & diet tonic, 😊) and I’ll drive. Interestingly one of them has been told by his GP to quit the booze, over a year ago now, but he hasn’t. I gave him my Annie Grace book, but no idea if he actually read it. When I decided to try moderation last year his wife said ‘ooh good’! Again interesting. If I was a smoker, had quit for a year but announced I was going to social smoke, no-one would say ‘ooh good’. If I’d been snorting coke, quit and then said similar, I’d really hope no one would say ‘ooh good’. Maybe the addicts would, so that I could join them. Says it all doesn’t it? THIS is what makes quitting booze difficult. It’s not seen as a harmful drug. The acceptance of not only drinking moderately but to excess, to hangovers etc. It’s so very very weird. Anyway, I’ll be happy with my cans of faux G&T.
Happy Friday all x

Happy Friday evening @StayingVigilant you sound prepared 👍

Have fun @StayingVigilant - hope the conversations about alcohol aren’t too irritating.
I think we should start a game of bingo of “things drinkers say when they find out you’re AF”. I always get asked “do you miss alcohol?”. Funnily enough, I never get asked “ can’t you just have one?”, probably because my friends all know the answer to that ….

Morning all.
I survived Friday night af. How the hell I did that prior to today's sadness I have no idea.
The make up is on and I have put a marks tinny in my bag. Hat on and dark glasses mes aimies.

Head up, hat on @WendyWagon and give him the send off he deserves x