Alcohol free in 23

[DancingSober]

Hello!

This is the thread for doing a whole year alcohol free beginning tomorrow (although some have started a bit early).

This isn't a moderation thread, so it isn't for cutting down. It's absolutely no alcohol for the whole of 2023.

That said, slip ups happen and I will not be throwing anyone off the thread if they have a blip, (or several blips), but please don't post if you're planning to have a few drinks here and there, as it may affect people who are struggling to remain AF but want to.

Tagging everyone from the initial thread:

@SerialMover
@Metalhead
@nancydroo
@blondie87
@TooSunny
@Preparedforjobnottolast
@thenewaveragebear1983
@limitededitionbarbie
@afaloren
@hashbrownsandwich
@Wantmyownbed

I think that's everyone, but please join if you want to (it's open to everyone) and huge apologies if I have missed anyone with my tagging.

Is anyone else craving a high or buzz feeling? I keep spending a few pounds on shit off Amazon so that I get a little treat delivered and it makes me happy. Today it's some giant sunflower seeds for spring planting 🤣

Having problems posting on a desktop I've lost this 5 times now.

@Coppergate I also love the list.

Day 15 and feeling some real benefits. Skin is feeling softer. I have more patience. Still getting the headaches late afternoon but they have improved.

@DottyDry and @DancingSober there are some great sober pages on Instagram! It's a great way to feel like you're not the only one and get some tips. SkyeRoseCoaching is one I really like, and sassy sober mum.

Well done on your shuffle @Metalhead . All exercise is better than just sitting and drinking isn't it.

I've been to the zoo today with my son and really noticing my patience improving. Also noticing my sense of smell seems to have increased?!

Great to hear some of the benefits people are experiencing.

@Wantmyownbed, I have decided to do a low buy year and omg yes, I am sitting on my hands trying not to buy stuff. Clothes are my weakness and I'm trying to limit myself to 12 new items this year. I've just bought three things, so need to reign it in now.

Like PP I have also lost a couple of long posts typed on laptop that I couldn’t be arsed to re type!

I have been reading though and staying sober. Had a wobble last night but distracted myself until the cravings passed.

Am finally sleeping well and it’s great having time to take care of myself instead of spending my evening mindlessly drinking

And thank you for the recommendations @TeeNoG

Well done on not giving into the wobble @rothbury. I hate it when the site glitches like that.

Happy Sunday. I'm feeling so positive today. Another really fun, active weekend.

I also feel I have so much more patience! I still think my weekend away in Feb will be a challenge as I expect my husband will drink after Dry Jan but I am really keen to not undo all the hard work. Plus I still have weight to lose and we will be eating out a lot so I don't want to add alcohol calories into it too!

That's great @onelife22. Love a positive attitude to beat the Sunday night blues 😄

Well done to everyone who has stayed off the booze (and well done to anyone who fell off the wagon but was brave and got back on again). I stopped drinking early Nov and am now 2+ months off. I was delighted with myself with the feeling good in the mornings, how good I was being for my health, and surviving the various social milestones along the way. But now I wonder have I got used to feeling good as I'm wondering why I would stay off forever and would I go back drinking again at some point in the future. It's like I was hoping for life changing stuff to happen by now but my life is pretty much the same 😂. My life is good but I think I'm seeing it like a trade off - so I gave up booze - but what did I get in return? Must go listen to a podcast to help me remember why it's such a positive thing to do.

Hi @WithFlamingLocksOfAuburnHair. It's so hard isn't it? I think we all expect a brand new life to emerge, but it turns out that doesn't happen (or at least, it doesn't happen in a sudden and obvious way).

I totally understand that you're considering a drink in the future, and that's entirely up to you and maybe a perfectly valid decision for you. I'm just going to share my experience in case it helps in any way at all.

I was sober from July 2019 - July 2021. I had a drink in July 2021 for no other reason than I wanted to. I wanted to test the assumption that you can't go from heavy, dangerous drinking to moderate drinking, enjoyable drinking.

In the year and half since that first drink (and it shocks me that it's been that long), nothing terrible has happened whilst I've been drinking. I've had a few hangovers, but no dreadful behaviour or injuries or anything like that. I can have a couple of glasses and then have a cup of tea and go to bed.

The problem is, my mental health is in the toilet. I'm anxious, my hormones are haywire. I spend an inordinate amount of time planning when I can have my 2 glasses and how I will stop it turning into 2 bottles. I'm scared of nights out because moderation is so much harder than abstinence. My sleep is affected by however much I drink. My son gets less time from me because once the wine is open it is MY TIME and I'm resentful of him interrupting me.

It sounds to me that although you might be planning a drink, you might not necessarily WANT a drink? Before you have a drink I would suggest you could write down the reasons you wanted to stop in the first place. What were you like when you were drinking? Could you drink safely? How were the hangovers? Did you ever to regretful things? Maybe then you could think about what you have gained from being sober - you say your life is the same, but carry on a while longer and you might see some changes.
I'm on day 17 and can already notice more patience, improving sleep, improving diet and less anxiety.

A podcast and maybe some quit lit might help you refocus and take a little longer to think before you decide what you want to do. I'm really not trying to preach so I'm sorry if it sounds like that, I just would hate for you to go back to square one and regret it.

Can I join please?

last drink was 28- early hours of 29th December.

tried to quiet a few times. Longest I’ve gone is 3 months. Really hoping the support of others will see me through the year. Feeling more determined than ever.

Totally agree with you @TeeNoG that moderation just takes up so much headspace!

Welcome @Pollypower. You're doing really well to have lasted that long.

All are welcome to join including people who haven't been doing dry Jan or whatever. Also people who've fallen off the wagon / are having the odd blip and then got back on it are still very welcome. The aim is no booze at all, but I know mistakes happen and want people to feel welcome regardless. I just would rather anyone planning to moderate didn't talk about it as I think that's a really big trigger for people. The internal "I can moderate" voice is the worst isn't it?

@WithFlamingLocksOfAuburnHair, definitely get it. I know boredom is my weakness and I think life just pootling along much the same as before is hard. I think the podcast is a good idea, or maybe some quit lit. Or just Google "why should I stop drinking"? There are loads of benefits and I've been googling when I've had a wobble and it has helped.

Thanks @TeeNoG I'm not planning a drink at the moment but maybe the initial gloss of giving up has just worn off. Although as you so kindly shared with your experience, I'm pretty sure if I had a drink I'd not sleep well, feel anxious and grumpy the next day and be very cross with myself for breaking the streak! I agree that not drinking is easier than moderation, the mental decision load is so much lighter. I'll keep going (posting here helps with accountability). I was away at the weekend with friends so maybe it was that prompting me to wonder why I 'deprived' myself, but then again I also gifted myself feeling good in the morning and not saying stuff I didn't mean. Thanks all, you're great x

i have done 3 months previously and totally relate to the initial feelings of proudness wearing off and forgetting why you stopped. Quite quickly I remember why I stopped however. The anxiety, hangovers and fear the next morning. Also tried moderation but still found myself counting down til I could open my wine on a Saturday evening. Then totally relate to the resentment if my children disturb my wine time. Putting them to bed was a chore and I wanted it over as quick as possible to return to my drinks. If they didn’t settle I would start feeling groggy and horrible as I’d stopped drinking.

my second last time drinking was in December. I went a night out and completely blacked out. woke up in my hotel bed with absolutely zero memory of the last couple of hours of the night. I genuinely could have died and wouldn’t have known.

shortly after that I had another night out for Christmas and didn’t want the night to end. 5am I was still drinking in my friends living room. I then had to collect my kids at 11am by taxi as I wasn’t able to drive. I then lay on my couch so hungover whilst they entertained themselves.

that was it. I 100% had a lightbulb moment. I’m done. And any time I get tempted I’m going to remember that plus all the other silly ridiculous stuff I done.

im so so much better. 3 weeks sober it feels longer but I’m sleeping better. Anxiety better. Feel so clear headed.

Wow Blue Monday got me. I really wanted to put a bottle of wine in the fridge and drink it this evening.

I have been calorie counting and exercising a lot and had a really miserable day today where I was just hungry all day. I ate what I wanted and got a quick freezer pizza on the way home.

I've definitely gone over food calories but stayed strong and didn't add any wine calories. I'm hoping that I'll thank myself tomorrow and wake up more positive.

The day started badly with A LOT of traffic and I don't usually commute by car so that didn't help me.

Thanks @Pollypower . I have a recent memory that makes me cringe of some of the things I said to someone while drunk (not nasty, more like inappropriate over sharing) so I'll poke that little ball of shame when I need a reminder that it's nicer actually being in control of myself.

I can't believe how much my face is changing and how much brighter my eyes are. I'm also managing so many more jobs to stay on top of things than ever before.

@pollypower I've had 2 bad blackouts over the last few months and it is a horrible feeling. It actually made me want to stop drinking altogether.

I too have a secret sober insta. Second following sassysobermum, she is wonderful and her podcasts from real people are so relatable and helpful.

Hope everyone is okay. If you've tripped up, take heart, dust yourself off and try again. This journey can be immensely hard x

@coodawoodashooda I feel the same with the jobs. Just so much more motivated to get stuff ✅

God, I've been in a foul mood all day today. Everyone and everything has pissed me right off. I don't know if it's alcohol related or just that I'm a bad-tempered menopausal bitch, but at least I haven't been tempted to drink. Fucking alcohol can get in the fucking sea as well, the bastard bollocking stuff.
I'm going to eat my body weight in chocolate and take myself to bed.

Sorry to read you're having a crappy day @HappyHealthy23! Also meant to say the same to @onelife22 with the Monday blues. Well done for not drinking though.

I'm ok today, but certainly not jumping for joy. I have done a lot of walking recently which has made me feel better. I'm feeling quite antisocial irl so the walking suits me better than the gym ATM.

I don't think the weather and general Januaryness of it all ATM is helping my joviality. Also planning an earlier night if I can.

I'm reading Dry, A Memoir, by Augusten Burroughs and am enjoying it. He is funny, but in a dark way. So far it's the most entertaining quit lit I've read. I've also got one by Russell Brand who I know is a bit marmite, but I'll give it a go.

I've allowed myself a free pass with sugar to get me through these moments. One thing at a time...

I'm also really thinking about how disgusting alcohol actually is and starting to think I like a 'wine glass moment' more than the actual booze.

I know what you mean @coodawoodashooda. Wine's fine and all, but have you ever tried something really delicious? Like coke or juice? 😂