Hi all, I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months, I'm 50 he is 40, and we are in love but he drinks and he is really nasty with me verbally and mentally abuses me. He constantly lies about his drinking, he will say he hasn't had a drink even tho I can smell it, be can't handle the drink he says he realises he needs to stop but he isn't doing very much about it. He constantly accuses me of being with someone else, calls me horrible names and controls me. We live an hour apart, and eas hoping to be living together soon but he is getting worse, he is the most loving person ever when he's not drinking but the drink changes him. We fall out all the time and can go 2 weeks of not seeing him, but I love him and can't let go because of how loving ge is when he is sober. He is just getting worse, he has been to a couple meetings which I always say I will go but he starts with he horrible messages then I won't go witj him. I have tried supporting him and giving him an ultimatum, I just don't know what else I can do. His intentions of stopping drinking is there. We make arrang6for me to spend a weekend with him but I generally come home that same day because he has been drinking and will lie about it, if I confront him he can go mad, shouting screaming and throwing things around. Then he will twist it all on to me saying I don't see him enough.
I can't give up on him I really do love him.
I'm so frustrated and hurt and confused, he tells me that I don't want him, when in fact it fes like he doesn't want me, he knows he's doing wrong and will get really upset but a day ir 2 later it starts again.
How can I help in this, I don't know what to do, we would be so happy without the drink.
How do I help him, yes the easy thing to say is to get out now but I can't. I just wantbto help him but I don't know how to???