The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@JesusSufferingFuck22

No UK. I have never had this before but have been really unwell for weeks. Eye and eye infections etc.

Thanks @AlloftheTime and @SavBbunny The perfect shared bottle of white wine and the frosted glasses looked a lot better than staring down the toilet bowl (as I did the last time I drank wine! 🙈🤮).

Sorry to hear you’re poorly @SavBbunny

Well done to all of you facing into another weekend with NO ALCOHOL. Day 26 here. I’m excited to look forward to being able to say ‘a month’ and then two months and three and six months and then a year and years … like people on this thread. 💐

Well done on your days @Nouveaunew same I want to say months and years too. I've had an argument with DH this evening. He said he wasn't going to drink tonight and lo and behold he's opened a bottle of wine and kept it under his table he's sitting at and being so unhelpful with the kids etc it's driving me nuts especially when we had a nice day today as a family. I'm trying to bite my tongue but it's so hard esp when he's drinking in front of me. He saw I had bought cigs and called me a horrible name. And it all kicked off . I said at least I'm not drinking and said some choice words I didn't want to in front of kids and so now I'm feeling bad and sad!
Well done on 30 days @JesusSufferingFuck22 so good!!! I keep feeling like it's Saturday because we all had a day off it felt like Friday went to London etc was soooo nice. I had to keep breaking up the kids fighting but if I had wine at lunch I would have been even rattier! But now I'm exhausted and just want to sleep but DH is being selfish (not for drinking bur generally being a lazy arse when we are all tired)
@JennyAct3 we have had tradesmen in for 2 weeks plus now including Saturdays and so I do understand how you feel. We allow them to use the toilet downstairs which I think we will have to replace 😹 but at least things are getting done and it'll all be worth it. I don't even feel like an AF beer at the moment.
@SavBbunny really hope your symptoms calm down and you will be ok.

Aw I’m sorry to hear about the tension with your DH @Namechanged12344 Stick to your guns. I find no matter how bad I feel, having a little voice in my mind reminding me ‘you’ve stayed alcohol free today’ really helps.

Thanks @Nouveaunewat really helps. Just a little support would work wonders he just doesn't get it unfortunately. Thinks there's nothing wrong with it and I will eventually drink etc etc I don't know he doesn't understand I'm doing this for us my health and family.

I celebrated in A&E with 3 yo DS who had broken his arm! To be fair, I'm just really happy with the achievement so don't need anything else. Hope it's going well for everyone else xx

@Namechanged12344 sorry your DH is being unhelpful.
Is his drinking a problem? And by that i mean is he dependent?
My husband is not really a drinker so him having a beer or whisky once a week will not trigger me. My husband would clear the lot out if I asked him because he knows how unhappy the boozing made me and our family. I started my downward spiral when my children were very young (1/5), then kept things OK for a decade. Five years ago my dad died and all bets were off. Family feuds resurfaced. I had given up my job and couldn't get another etc. My siblings abandoned me although I was the carer. Que a nice bottle of Sav B. My kids were embarrassed and I would drink until I fell asleep. I wanted to 'be left alone' but of course you don't. Only you can decided on a new life.
I don't want to be the drunk at the party, the mum people whisper about. I don't want to smell of stale booze or talk crap at dinner parties. The statement 'you were enjoying yourself' is code for pissed as a fart. Not very becoming for a 56 year old.
Still poorly, still in bed but have made tea which tasted excellent, hooray.
Have a good day all.

Good morning all, checking in for day seven/week one. Hope everyone has a good day.

Happy hangover-free Saturday morning! Checking in on Day 27.

Checking in day 26 @Nouveaunew I keep forgetting but know I'm a day less than you!

@SavBbunny ohhhh now I get your username hehe thanks I've decided not to start the day angry etc and just go with the flow even though there's banging and tile cutting and builders annihilating our toilet.

@SavBbunny sorry and no he hasn't a problem he drinks Fri sat and Sundays. I say he binge drinks but he can easily go without but it's just yesterday he said he's not drinking so I was relieved i didn't have to look at it but then he opened one. Anyway it's done. New day and all that. And what you said about the smelling of booze and the 'dont worry you were enjoying yourself' I got that a lot when I was younger but now noone realises as I am high functioning or whatever they call it. I could drink half a bottle before going out and drink more and still be ok. No-one knows I have a problem unless I shout it out to them.

@SavBbunny that was my drink too, I can ignore anything else pretty much, and I am 55 with a similar drinking timeline. Sorry you aren’t well, we are a very allergic family so I sympathise with the spider bite, my DH is very prone to them. After decades sleeping in the same bed where I wake up without a bite (most common blood type) and he has several (rarest blood type) I do wonder if they have their own little SB type problem. Now imagining spiders with hangovers and remorse.

Hello all,

Is there room for one more in the gang?? Day 1 for me. I just can't imagine life without alcohol so I'm taking it one day at a time. Really inspiring to read all your stories 🙂

Welcome @StansRealityStruggle
Well done on day one. It's a big step. One day at a time. You can do this.

Well done @NitTodaySatan. You are racking up the days

@SavBbunny hope you are feeling better at the end of today and that you managed to get up and about at some point.
Happy weekend to everyone one day at a time is just fine btw @StansRealityStruggle
@ChampooPapi hope your weekend has some downtime and that your placement is working out well for you

I am very tired after a long day moving into my own place - had a glass or nosecco (don’t think that’s the correct spelling!)
feel uplifted although I’m shattered - I’m so glad I’m not here swigging wine as I need some energy tomorrow and alcohol would not have helped there!
Checking in on day 300 and a few I think........

@Namechanged12344
and I remember as it’s one day behind the day’s date. It’ll get harder to track when June starts! Although I am marking it in my diary too to keep me on track …

@AlloftheTime
Congratulations about moving into your own place! That’s great. Wow day 300 & something! That’s amazing. It’ll be one whole year before you know it!

Today has been wobbly for me. I started thinking of summer and holiday plans and saying to myself ‘well I’ll just drink on that night/that occasion/for those two weeks.’ Then I say ‘I couldn’t not drink at X occasion.’

Why does it feel like every occasion would be better with alcohol?

why does it feel like a waste not to drink free booze?

Alcohol does make me more open with others and it has created some intimacy with certain friends. But surely friendships shouldn’t hinge on a chemical… trying to convince myself here! The thinking is the hardest part sometimes.

@Nouveaunew - lots that resonates with me in your post. I find as time passes I think this much less but reading your post reminded me about a family wedding I’m going to later this year. I’m sorry in some ways I can’t have a glass of champagne and toast the happy couple but I know it would almost certainly be a slippery slope. I don’t dwell on it but it is still there and I did see it as a failure or lack in myself but now I try to shrug and think about how much fun can be had sober.

keep posting if it helps as I often find insights in other peoples stories.

@Nouveaunew I feel you. I'm off on an all inclusive holiday the end of June and the thought of not doing my usual drinking is making me nervous! It's mad. How can drinking booze all day possibly enhance a holiday?? The only way I benefit at all is that it lessens my anxiety (which was made worst in the first place by booze)

My usual all inclusive holidays has involved waking up hungover, going for breakfast, having a nap, waking up lunchtime to eat and start the daily wine/cava/cocktails drinking. Having dinner, and if I remember the nights evening entertainment I sure don't remember much! Annnnnd repeat....

So really trying to focus on the fact all alcohol does is make the holiday go by in a blur, leaving me more knackered, fatter, and usually with bruises and sometimes stitches :/

I really really want to be drunk me, but sober, if that makes sense.

100 days alcohol free tomorrow. I have had so many benefits from not drinking. Lost weight (no longer have a drinkers belly, although I still am a lot overweight) wonderful sleep, generally a lot calmer, and most of all am a much nicer nanny to my grandchildren.

Just wish the wine witch would shut the hell up!!

@Nouveaunew I find the longer I stay AF, the less daunting those things appear.

when I started this dry run, my target was to get to 100 days, and there are events after that timeline - particularly my summer holiday- that I couldn’t imagine doing sober. After a while, when I thought about them, it was “oh well, I’ll see how I feel at the time”. Now, at day 71, I’m quite intrigued about doing them sober. What will a holiday be like when I wake up early every morning feeling fresh? What activities can I try without my usual crushing anxiety making me count the hours until my first beer by the pool?

@BraveFaceScaredInside that’s a poignant read - can you reframe your holiday in your head? What activities and sightseeing can you do there? What country are you visiting? Can you read up about it before June?
I do hope you can go and enjoy in a completely different way to before and set that down as your ‘holiday blueprint’
i have blurred memories of holidays - I think it’s not uncommon but write a new chapter this time.

(the wine witch kept knocking on my door but has gradually faded)
all the best for your holiday.

Good morning all, thank you @JesusSufferingFuck22 and welcome @StansRealityStruggle!

Day eight here, I am still smoking though. I'm going away for five days at the end of June so if I haven't quit again by then hopefully the change of scene will do it for me.

I've just been invited to a party on Tuesday which will be full of people I don't know and my instinct is to decline because it'll be so much harder not drinking. But that feels fairly feeble and really I should just take over some alcohol free beers and try to enjoy myself.