The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Welcome back @Tomlettegregg ! Many of us had false starts, you’re not alone.

@Breathmiller glad you have a quiet morning planned. You’ll be feeling better soon!

Well done for coming back @Tomlettegregg I always like the quote “Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying “I will try again tomorrow.””

sorry you’re not feeling great @Breathmiller - hope a quiet morning helps.

I listened to a really interesting R4 series (on BBC sounds) by Dr Chris and Xand called Addicted to Food. It’s about Xand’s food issues, which Chris is convinced is caused by an addiction to ultra-processed food (UPF), and how they each work through the process of Xand exploring it. It’s fascinating because you can pretty much substitute “alcohol” for UPF - they talk about dopamine effects, the impact of association of UPF / alcohol with past experience, and the dominant influence of “Big Food” on advertising etc. The episode when they talk about the psychology of change is fascinating.

Because it was about food, not alcohol, I was comfortable listening with my DH, and we listened to the whole thing over a very long car journey. Really recommend it.

Thanks onewildandpreciouslife I'll* *have a listen. I do find the psychology around all this fascinating. And yes the words food and alcohol can very often be interchangeable for me.

Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better now. Ticking off my list of house jobs while listening to the radio in between little seats to take stock of where I am. And it's sunny outside. Always brightens a mood. Going to get outside for a bit before I start working.

hi all just dipping in to claim my 136 days whoop ;-) haven't quite moved to month counting yet. Had some worrying news from an MRI brain scan yesterday, i don't know what it means yet, but i didn't even think about having a drink so that's good... i'm 100% sure that alcohol would only cause more issues to my noggin not less, so well done me. Let's just hope it wasn't caused by alcohol in the first place!!

@Fortheloveofgodwhy
Day 56/week 8/2 months
What you wrote is very relatable.

I have to go for follow up appointment at gynaecologist shortly. Probably nothing to worry about but when they say they found a pea sized growth it tends to generate some worrying thoughts. In the past I would have drowned it out with alcohol. I'm not going to do that because I KNOW it makes things worse. I have thought about it though, so I'm fighting those thoughts and how they make me feel.

Great to see so many people here making positive changes. xxx

Evening all. Day 17 here. Feeling tired & a bit hot.

Terrible sleep last night again - spent the evening trying to sort something out for a DC which involved spending about 3 hours of intensive googling. Then was too wired to go to sleep.

Am going to have a lie down.

@EileenFH
Well done on day 17!

Hope you got your stuff sorted after your mega google session and you get a better sleep tonight xx

Morning

I'm on day 4. After a massive wake up call at the weekend I've decided enough is enough.

I'd returned to a bottle of wine a night at least, blind blind blackout drunk when I went out and never getting a hangover which I felt could not be a good thing at all.

Physical symptoms of endless diarrhoea and abdominal pains not to mention weight gain despite a healthy diet and daily gym.

This has to stop. I've tried before and the only time I succeeded was using AA but this I time the wake-up has been the best incentive.

So far it feels easy. But maybe it's just because I hit MY rock bottom and had to do that to stop?

Anyway thank you for this thread and the anticipated support as this has been going on for 6 years and I recently suffered a long term relationship breakdown so need to be super strong!

Hello! My name is Neu and I'm an alcoholic!

Hello @neu and welcome!

Hi @Neu - I am also on day 4 today like yourself, sorry about your relationship.

I find myself getting ready for school sports day this morning with a completely clear head which is great but I also think to myself how ridiculous that sounds as this should be the norm too. Hopefully I won't get roped into an egg / spoon race.

Hope everyone has a great day

Morning all,
Welcome @Neu@Neu
I am not an alcoholic but I could be if I went back to binge drinking. I made myself very ill. I have attended the sessions previously and learnt a lot. However I found the harrowing stories of violence too much so I stopped going however it did give me a wake up call at that point. God bothering is OK for me.
Are you always an alcoholic? I also think not. It is an illness from which you can recover which surely is the point.

Horrible journey home from London yesterday with cancelled trains and my RA being monstrous. I looked 70! I am also not good in the heat.

No risk of booze as I am too poorly.

Day 4 for me, I frightened myself with these black outs and have made endless lists of reason I should not drink. Tentatively pulling up a chair in this group, moderating doesn't work, I can stop once I start. I wake up not knowing what I've said and given the situation I'm in with my H I have to be careful. I'll be back later to check in and read up some more x

I wrote such a long post this morning and it got wiped!
But wanted to say thank you for the encouragement of my days @SavBbunny (sorry to hear about your horrid journey home yesterday in the heat and I hope today was a better day) and thanks to @BunniesBunniesBunnies will come back and read the newer posts when I can x

Welcome @stoptheride.
I am on day 18 and feeling ok. Eating an awful lot of mars ice creams, but glad not to be drinking.

Hi @Mwnci123 @stoptheride @Neu and others starting out or starting out again. Well done for making the decision to stop.
I've been fooling myself for years that I can drink sensibly. I can't. I keep on drinking myself into ill health, stopping until I feel a bit better and then starting again. This is the first time I haven't started again after starting to feel better. 2 months yesterday.
I'm just so done with the shame and hiding how I drink. I only drank in the evening after 9.00pm but it was every evening. 4 doubles and sometimes more when I couldn't find the off switch. Passing out rather than falling asleep. Falling over. Talking crap. Arguing. Wetting myself. (MS issue but obviously alcohol doesn't help.) Watching stuff on Netflix etc and having no memory of watching it the next day.

At afternoon get togethers I wouldn't drink because if I started I'd want to keep going.
I'm finding it tough just now, as like most of you I have other crap to deal with and I don't have that crutch of getting pissed to make it all go away for a bit.
I'm having to dig deep to not go down that road again. I KNOW alcohol DOES NOT HELP. Why does my brain keep trying to tell me it's ok to just have one night of drinking? I'm keeping that part of my brain distracted the best I can with audio books, growing leafy greens and playing with my multi cooker I bought with the money I would have spent on alcohol the first month I stopped. (It was alcohol for me and dh.) 2 litres of vodka between us a week on a bad week.

1 1/2 litres on a "good" week.
Apart from all the crap, I'm actually quite positive and determined. I can do this. WE can do this xx

Well done @JesusSufferingFuck22 on 2 months! You are doing so well, life throws us so much shit and I too want to drown it all out with the good old wine! But it's not good, it's bad very bad. I can't believe how many of us are in the same boat, I too just recently saw on Netflix I was half way through something I had no idea I Started watching ..it ruined my time, my life. I've just got delivered some fairly shocking (to me) news by the doctor that I never thought I would get and I stop drinking and this is what I get??? In the Clare pooley book she gave up and 8 months later she got bad news (mines not that I don't want to spoil the book for someone starting to read it) anyway I'm like why and for the first time ever my immediate thought wasn't right I'm going to drink. To be fair my crutch is cigs(stopped for 18 months and started just 2 weeks ago) but they re in the bin now as I read up on my condition and you shouldn't smoke. So there I was doing so well not smoking and drinking but at least I didn't drink today! Day 52 I think?
Welcome to @stoptheride . You are doing awesome, I too cannot moderate and wish I could. But too many times my brain says no have another it'll be fine but it's never fine.
@Mwnci123 well done on your days the early ones are the hardest! Be kind to yourself. Mars ice cream is a favourite I want to go and buy those tomorrow!
Hi to all the other new and vets thank you for this thread it's keeping me going!

Thank you so very much for the welcomes and well done to you all for stopping! Amazing inspiration on this thread!

I'm still going strong and feeling positive! Even shit from my ex had me raging but I had a cup of tea 😇

I think the combined effort of not drinking or rising to his bait is making me feel so much better!

I'm also gym every single day 6am, like it or not. It helps. So much!

@neu wow gym at 6am I salute you! Maybe I need to do this too as need to lose weight (even tho I've been told I have lost weight since quitting booze) clearly not enough as I've been told to lose weight fast otherwise I will get problems! Great. Just when I thought sugar would help me it clearly doesn't! So now I not only have to be mindful of booze bitch or wine witch but now the sugar ! Well done for not reaching and drinking tea instead be proud of yourself!!!

I concur re gym at 6! Very impressive!

Must admit I am a bit nervous about it being a Friday tonight, usually, come afternoon, I would be on countdown so I'm trying to think of hourly distractions at the moment.

Day 55 here. May I join you?

Eight weeks tomorrow and things are finally falling into place. DH knows as do my drinking buddies and my therapist. Family and friends do not know.

It all went to pot after my [not so] DM died in 2016 leaving me with PTSD GP was useless. Just offered anti-depressants, even though I am not depressed and sleeping tablets even though I never had any trouble sleeping. I have now pulled back from between 40 and 60 units a week to a big fat zero without any outside help, which was hard.

Determined to keep going.

Well done @Neu - that gym habit is impressive! I think doing something physical when you’re going sober is a big help, whether it’s gym,yoga, swimming or simply getting outside regularly. There’s a gym near me that has a big sign outside “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” which seems to be true of going sober too!

Welcome @DeedIDo - day 55 is impressive! It was dealing with my DM last year that pushed my relationship with alcohol from “not very healthy” to “absolutely horrendous”, so you have my sympathy as well as my admiration.

Keep going @Crayonpenny ! Can you plan yourself a treat for tonight or tomorrow if you get through tonight? On hard days I used to imagine myself at the end of it sitting in bed sober with a good book and a herbal tea. Not very rock’n’roll, but then neither was the alternative of passing out on the sofa.

Day 97 here

@DeedIDo
Welcome. My big change came post bereavement. 45 units a week. DF he was lovely but three years of care in our home nearly killed me. Booze was my escape, my friend (sometimes my only friend) and because I have RA a pain killer. I was killing myself because I made some huge mistakes whilst grieving. Now nearly 6 months af. Not all a smooth ride but it has given me such clarity.

Morning all. Gordon's 0% pink, not for me!

Hi All,

@Onewildandpreciouslife well I have a junior football match to watch tomorrow starting at 8.45 so that is one incentive but I think that's a great idea, a nice bath perhaps!

@SavBbunny I honestly didn't realise you could get 0% Gordon's pink! I think I may steer clear now though.

Thanks everyone.

@DeedIDo welcome - impressive number!