The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@Nouveaunew I keep coming back and commenting today checking regularly as I'm feeling pretty shit and having fights with my DH all day, we are about to head out but I'm feeling so so tired I want to rest (have been over doing it tho last few days I'm giving up at the wrong time lol when is the right time hey?) I too am thinking about stuff even my kids weddings when we toast champagne like wtf it's about 20 years away if they get married at all??!! Well done on your day 6, I'm day 5 and also can't wait to get to at least 100. Keep going lads!

@Nouveaunew and @Namechanged12344 well done on days 5 / 6. I know it’s hard, but try not to worry about anything other than getting to the end of today sober. One day at a time is a cliché, but only because it’s true!

When I go for a run ( I seem to have become a fitness freak as well as sober, sorry) my brain tells me at the start there’s no way I can run 10k - I think forward to how exhausted I’ll feel by the end, and I think it’s not worth trying. But if I concentrate on how I actually feel in that moment, I can notice that breathing is hard, but not unbearably so, and my legs are fine. So I do another 1k, and another, until I get round, and I’ve done it.

As you push through these early days, you will find things start to change, and you’ll start to feel the benefits. But for now, just get through today.

@Nouveaunew @Namechanged12344 @Onewildandpreciouslife
All your words are very helpful. Who knew Mumsnet could be so helpful lol.

My MS symptom (surprise surprise) have improved the past few days. The effects of alcohol on my central nervous system plus MS is just stupid. I feel very foolish but can forgive myself for my stupidity.
My general aches and pains have lessened and my brain is functioning a bit better. I am so tired though! Probably my body getting used to proper sleep and recovering from stomach thing.

I have a big long ancient list of reasons why it's not the right time to stop. None are valid.

I downloaded the nhs drink free days app. I "think" it's helpful for me.

One day at a time is the cliché but a very good one. My dad used to(maybe still does) sing this. He used to sing it after a few drinks ironically. He hasn't drank for about 10 years. I want to follow in his footsteps

I had the grumps (more than usual) yesterday. Friday was a challenge even though there was no booze in the house and no means of getting any and I didn't actually want a drink! Thanks gut rot.

Hope the rest of your weekends are easily managed and any friction is short lived.

@Blackberryblossom Thank you for the bunnies!

Day 23 now. On Wednesday morning I woke early, without a hangover, or brain fog, and managed to recover some of my lost work, and redo the rest pretty quickly, and all before DD woke up. So I was in a calm but happy mood, and therefore in a much better place to help her. It would have all been so much harder if I'd had wine the night before, so feeling a bit proud of myself for not caving in. I also feel like I'm starting to get some energy back, thankfully.

Well done everyone who's hit milestones, and also to those who've had wobbles and treated themselves with kindness. You are all inspiring me.

I just caught up on the thread. It’s so true about ‘one day at a time.’ You know the funny thing is every time I failed at quitting (after giving up for a few weeks), I end up going back on it worse than before! I also think of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober & how she said people keep redoing the hardest part. That’s me to a Tee! This time I’d like to get past the horrors!

strength and hope to you all

bunnies well this both makes complete sense and has confused the hell out of me in equal measures.

I knew you were 2 years so my little non mathematical brain waa confused because 600 days is not 2 years but I went with it because I was rushing.

Now, I've scrolled back a few pages and can't find the post that I'm now beginning to believe I dreamt. In my mind you said you were on 600 days and wanted to do something new this year, you'd always wanted to go to a dance class! And asked everyone to think of something they had always wanted to try with their sobriety. I am amused at myself that I think I must have either read it from someone else, or been on an old thread or dreamt it. 😆

Apologies.

Hahaha @Breathmiller I do have a vague memory of posting exactly that but it must be months ago🤣🤣🤣 So well remembered!!! I wondered if you accidentally clicked on one of the old Freedom threads (for some reason really old threads appear in “active” as well in new and not improved Mumsnet…). Either that or you sobriety has really boosted your memory🤣

How have you been Breathmiller? I remember you had a tricky situation with one of your children recently (I think that was you?), are things a bit easier for you now?

Hope everyone is getting through the weekend okay. There seems to be lots of newly sober people on the thread at the moment which is ace🤩 Be kind to yourselves, the early days can be HARD! So worth it though. Keep going!

Haha. Yes, i think I must have clicked the old thread. What a doofer! 😆

Things are a little lighter here, thank you for asking. Nothing has been resolved as such but we take each day as it comes and the love bombing seems to be helping some ways, maybe just on the surface but maybe deep down making him feel that he is lovable. And lkeable. Lots of complex things going on and all we have is love as a tool to help him at the moment.

I don't know if anyone remember too but I had a really tricky situation at the end of last year with a really challenging person. Well, not only have I resolved my attitude to that person but it seems her behaviour has been noticed elsewhere and so all that time I felt a bit paranoid that people thought badly of me was all wrong. It's been apparent to everyone how nuts that person is and no one seems any the wiser that I had been embroiled to a greater degree. It was very enlightening conversation to listen to lets say. I feel a little vindicated. It's not just me that finds them hard. Reminded me that we get things wrong a lot. Our perception of what people think of us.

Day 3 here. Absolutely thrilled. Thanks for the welcome and kind words.

Feel like I can hold my head up and also feeling relieved. I was so so tired of waiting for 6 pm to open a bottle and checking how many bottles I had every morning. I feel free, exactly as this thread title!

Hope everyone is hanging in there.

@JennyAct3 - brilliant to read your post.
relief is a good way to describe it - enjoy your freedom

@BunniesBunniesBunnies
thank you. Time feels like it’s going by very slowly. I think my body and mind are a long way from being healed from all the booze. I just really hope I can keep at it until they are. I feel so tired and groggy in the head and tummy and am craving sugar the whole time.

day 7 here. Delighted I have almost done a week.

@JennyAct3 a relief is such a good description. I enjoyed doing my online grocery shop today without the guilt and shame of adding a bottle of vodka to the basket.

I'm keeping a tally of how much I've not spent on booze and will treat myself.

@Namechanged12344 thanks for asking the BBQ was good not too late and not too boozy. I didn’t hear my DH say it but today he repeated in a convo that he had a aid to the hosts that he wasn’t really drinking much as I had stopped - news to me.

No one actually asked me if I wanted a drink (I took GF AF beer with me) so no chance to announce my 90 days 🙌 anyway it’s now 91 🤣🙏. So I’m holding out for 100. When DH will be away with work and I’ll be home holding the fort solo. I shall come on here and expect many congratulations please 🤣🙏🙏🙏

for all you newbs (and I am still a newb by the bunny standards) the ‘fear’ for the future definitely lessons overtime. The more AF experiences you have and the longer you stay free, the less interested I am in actually drinking. Plus if the BBQ is anything to go by I realised no one else drinks quite as much as I did. Or they don’t when I am not drinking. 🙄 😳.

I have a few more firsts coming up. A weekend away with long long term friends and a holiday (sober!!) but I do just keep reminding myself why WOULD I drink? And currently the hardest thing is not berating everyone who does drink 🤫

I love the fact that despite having other ongoing health problems one thing I don’t have is a hangover or the regerts.. no black outs or missing moments. Keep on keeping on xx

@Nouveaunew I never eat chocolate, biscuits or puddings, thought I just didn’t have a sweet tooth, crisps are my weakness but since ditching the white wine I have been eating two small chocolate bars in the evenings. I don’t think it matters, my focus is on being AF. I also bought some lemonade and coke in case I needed them. Whatever it takes to help our bodies handle ditching alcohol. Phasing it out makes sense on paper but for me I had to just stop completely. So chocolate bars it is for now.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 I know, I was able to look the Sainsburys lady in the face when I did my shop on Friday. One week the old lady in the queue next to me asked if we were having a party, there were so many bottles. It was all me!

@JennyAct3 yeah phasing out doesn’t work for me either. If I was the kind of person who could phase out, I think I’d be the kind who could moderate!

im starting to feel unwell from all the junk food. My relationship with food can be extreme in that I eat a load of junk (these days) or I eat quite healthily (usually to justify drinking) …

I’m re-reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and even though I wasn’t as badly affected as Catherine Gray I’m hoping the message will sink in this time.

did anyone else feel they had very little energy in the early days? I’m on day 7. I feel exhausted & it’s odd to me that I had more energy when I was drinking … you’d think it’d slow you down.

@Nouveaunew I’m just getting into bed with my kindle but for me wine was sugar and gave me a second wind in the evenings. Now I am ready for bed at 9pm.

@Nouveaunew I am unusually tired. Although it's crap that you are feeling this too it is reassuring for me that this tiredness is normal!
I'm craving salt more than sugar.....though I did have a wee bit extra chocolate tonight. I made some kale crisps tonight because I can't eat normal snacks. They are just as disappointing as the last time I made them. Meh 🫤
Never mind. Bed time soon😊

@JennyAct3 I was spreading out my deliveries of vodka over my 2 grocery deliveries a week and an Amazon delivery. The delivery drivers only occasionally commented. So nice not to have to do that anymore.

@Nouveaunew on day 6 and I'm seriously lacking in energy too I don't know if I was supposed to take my vitamins etc this time I just stopped cold turkey so maybe that's why but I am doing a lot more in terms of before when I drank i sat and drank now I'm moving around more doing more housework etc etc but yeah feeling sluggish, tired but shitty and hormonal today I hate it. Me and DH still fighting n now not speaking. We have a lot about to happen for the next few weeks too so bad timing all this but I genuinely would have sought help from drink. I feel like because I'm not drinking he's got a bee in his bonnet? So we would have polished off a bottle each last night but he had just short of a bottle himself. Then he took out another wine today and because I didn't drink at lunch or evening he has got in a huff and also not drank?? But we did have quite a bad argument. I don't know everything triggers me these days but the main thing is I'm not reaching for the drink! I have noticed my skin improving even after 6 days. Hope everyone is well. I hope I can continue this.

Hi all,
I was here last year and managed to stay af for 6 months. I felt the best I'd ever felt, and then a friend's wedding last summer sucked me back in.
I'm so cross with myself. While things haven't been as bad as they were before, it's still too much. I know I can't moderate and stopping is the only thing that works.
I feel like I did a lot of work on myself last time I was sober, and those lessons learnt are still with me now, so I thought it would be 'okay' but it really isn't.
So here I am, hopping back in if that's ok.

Plenty of room @beargryllshasabigrope
hop away and good to hear from you again.

@Nouveaunew I had the awful tiredness, roughly day 10 for a solid week, all day. I had no energy, brain fog, couldn't focus, just wanted to sleep. Day 25 now and I feel better, but tend to run out of steam earlier than I used to. I'm pretty certain once I sort out my diet and got back into exercising again, that will get better. Making small changes, but also trying to be kind to myself as we have a lot going on here.

Drinking plenty of water and getting a short walk each day seemed to help a bit. I hope yours clears quickly.

Welcome back, @beargryllshasabigrope.

@Nouveaunew @JesusSufferingFuck22 and all newish non drinkers, you will need some vit Bs. Thiamine is the biggie- people who medically detox get a big shot in the bum but most of us have to get ourselves down to Boots.

@Breathmiller I'm so glad that shitty situation resolved itself and that others now see what you experienced.

@Breathmiller im glad things are a little lighter at home and I do remember your tricky situation! I’m not surprised at all to read this update as to me you are like a wise owl/voice of reason so this update makes sense😀 It’s nice to know it wasn’t you! (Of course it wasn’t, but I like you get paranoid too about these things!).

Some people upthread mention feeling delighted and relieved which I very much relate to still! I often feel complete relief at not having to drink or think about drinking anymore.

And yes it’s normal to feel knackered in the early days! Or at least it was for me. Multivitamins and lots of sleep will help.

Welcome back @beargryllshasabigrope! You’ve done six months before so you know you can do it. It will be easier this time😊👍