The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@Breathmiller I'll get on the no sugar thread with you and we can hold hands. I enjoyed the ten a day one way back.

So almost a week AF and it's been easier this time BUT it's my daughters first birthday tomorrow and I've bought 4 bottles of prosecco for guests to have bucks fizz. I know my husbands bestie and his wife will stick around after and they're pretty big drinkers so I'm dreading being AF. Already thinking well what if I don't just for that day..

@Tomlettegregg your choice but just have a think about how you will feel when your friends go home? Or in the early hours when you wake up thirsty and anxious? The next morning when your daughter wants your attention?
the first week is tough for most people so well done on getting to this point.

Consider all your options but try playing out in your head how you might enjoy your friends company AF

@Tomlettegregg I know how tempting it is, and it’s completely understandable to want to fit in.

But your first post was that you wanted to do it for your daughter. It’s her first birthday tomorrow - how much of it will you remember if you drink?

And ask yourself - do you really want to do day 1 again?

If this sounds harsh, it’s probably because I’m talking to myself as much as you! My DD is one of the reasons I’m trying to give up, but she’s 18, not 1. At a family wedding last year (where I got drunk to a hideously embarrassing level) DD went up to bed before me, carrying a glass of white wine. She doesn’t drink much, and this was new, so I was a bit surprised. She just smiled at me and said “Like mother, like daughter!”. I have never felt so ashamed in my life, and I have never told anyone that story before.

Morning all.
90 days here and I am so delighted I started on this AF journey. No more feeling like poop every Saturday morning. Friday was my wine night. As much as I could drink.
I have had some really high stakes jobs and Saturday meant no driving and no phone calls the next morning. Crack open the wine!

Like @onewildnadpreciouslife I was partly doing this for my children.
My 18/22 year olds remember one occasion when I was rolling drunk when I was in charge of them at 7 & 2. The shame was enormous. I did moderate for many years after that. Do not be that parent @Tomlettegregg

Yes I do feel better. I have lost weight (18lbs) through dieting as well. And my liver has started to recover.

I am having a difficult phase with my working life at present. Much skullduggery but I am able to go to bed and wake up the next day with some clear thoughts. My default would have been get bladdered, poor me blah blah.

I have had a few blips but it has made me feel poorly and ashamed.

I have learnt to really like the Gordon's AF gin and we now have lots of alternatives in the house. I have spent my wine budget on private therapy and a few facial laser blasts (red veins from the wine!).

Good luck to you all and thank you for your support. First Mumsnet that has been consistently helpful and not full of trolls.

savbunny fantastic!! 90 days is amazing! Well done. So pleased to hear you reaping the benefits.

tomelettegreg i know it seems challenging but I agree with the sentiment of playing it forward. How will you feel later tonight? Tomorrow morning?

You've put in the hard graft this week. You don't want to go back and have to do week 1 again. Get some Nosecco and join in with the buck's fizz AF style. I used to think it would be hard whenever everyone else was drinking and I was on AF drinks but its not as hard as you think.

Sorry for multiple posts, i keep getting these silly adverts that take up the whole page and can't type.

Anyway, i am on 20 months today! Best thing I ever did was joining these threads 20 months ago. Thanks everyone

@Breathmiller 20 months is amazing, as is 90 days @SavBbunny🤩🥳🤩🥳🤩🥳🤩🤩

Well done you both!!!!!!!

@Tomlettegregg. It's so difficult isn't it? The early days are awful and 'twitchy' (my word when I am tempted). No magic cure but from experience it gets better with time.
Well done@Breathmiller, @SavBbunny and @Onewildandpreciouslife on your achievements. To all others too.
Day 14 today for me. I had a real wobble last night and nearly caved in. I'm so glad I didn't.
I have a few days away from Sunday and it will be the first break away without drinking. The last time I did AF for 5 months was in lockdown so it wasn't possible to go to the pub which is something my Hubby and I enjoyed twice a week. It will be a real test and despite my Hubby being supportive I know he will miss me having a few wines with him.
I will be thinking of all you strong people and this thread .

Morning everyone and well done to you all!

Day 12 for me today which isn't massive compared to some of you.
Still absolutely knackered. Father. Still very poorly and I'm so stressed!
I have no desire to drink as I know I will feel so much worse.
I feel so incredibly low and don't know how to snap out of it. Life feels so draining and I feel like I'm falling into a depression.

When I gave up last year I was feeling great at this point. I'm not missing drinking but I did use it as a crutch to forget my problems and now they are all crystal clear and I can't deal with them very well.
Not sure if this is normal. I have no option but to plough on through I guess. Sorry for the rambling post just trying to get my feelings out there.

@SavBbunny 90 day medal for you i think... well done!

@Mikey555 i think feeling the feelings is a real trial for many people. But the reality is washing them away with wine doesn't actually get rid of them it just stacks them up at the bottom of the bucket to be dealt with another time. Can you treat yourself to a calm bath/massage/swim whatever might help you feel better?

fortheloveofgod that's a great way of describing it. It is hard to feel things to begin with. But, i have found that once I have felt them I can actually deal with them better. They were just being masked by alcohol. And just building up and adding to it. But, I have had a real journey of discovery (for want of a less wanky description) of facing my issues and actually getting through some of them. I couldn't do that before. Hard at the time but I was just passing the buck down the line before.

Morning everyone. So pleased to read of all your super milestones @Kindtomyself, @Adm1010, @SavBbunny and @Breathmiller!! I’m really sorry if I’ve forgotten anyone scrolling back and fro on my phone! Keep on you are all doing great and I love reading up on your progress.

I’m trying to get a renewed vigor for this sobriety journey as I feel things have been slipping with me (sorry you must all be so fed up hearing this again). My nerves are bad and I’m struggling in my mind a bit at the moment with my relationships and friendships. I know it sounds ridiculous but I have a sort of paranoia and hyper-sensitivity that I must get some control over. Its probably my age, I’ve started HRT and had it upped, but it doesn’t seem to be helping the way I thought it would.
Anyway it’s lovely and sunny today. I have a day off, and I’m going to garden. I’m starting a new quit lit book and will use my Sober app to count days again in the hope it will help get my back in the groove.

I have even bought a tankini, which is so comfortable compared to my old done-in one-piece, so I plan to join you all with the swimming. (I think the giving up sugar might be a step too far at the moment…). Have a good day all.

@Breathmiller all is good Thankyou 😊 just incredibly busy with work etc .

@SavBbunny

Congratulations on 90 days and if you are doing it under difficult conditions, imagine how you'll feel in calmer times.

I think we should almost be 'more proud' of being AF when life is tough.

@Breathmiller 20 months. Absolutely phenomenal and very aspirational. I want to do everything in my power to make the days (and now weeks) become months.
How did you cope during the times you "always" drank? For me it's a long way off but I've never, ever been sober at Christmas [I have been 8 months pregnant in Dec several years apart, with DC2 and DC3, and whilst I wasn't caning it, I had a few glasses over those festive periods )

I've never had an AF Christmas in 25 years of adulthood. It scares me!!!

• sorry to mention the C word

Well done to those who have reached amazing milestones! So today I discovered mocktails (never really been a fan of actual cocktails) had the most amazing virgin mojito well 2 in fact. Gave me a real buzz then realised it was all the sugar and now I feel bleurgh! So on the hunt now for a sugar free AF treat drink. I also felt really disappointed in myself as been trying to be good in prep for round of bloods next week by trying to eat cleaner and reduce the amount of sugar I have as these bloods are to determine what stage fatty liver is at and now I feel like I've undone all the hard work I've done.

crunchymum

Thanks. To be honest it's just a case of getting through these times. I always found the thought harder than the fact. And once you do it once, it gets easier.

I have had 2 Christmases, 2 Hogmanies, a 'normal' birthday and a big birthday. Things that made it easier...not having red wine at the table on my 50th. We went away with family and only 2 would have had red wine and they kindly opted to have white which I could take or leave a bit easier. I had Nosecco. I had one of the best birthdays ever.

The first Christmas was a little harder as there was a bottle or 2 of red on the table. I had to do a few "LA-LA-LA" moments where I had to actively pretend it was not on the table, but they passed. And I had a wonderful Christmas.

2nd one was easier, much easier.

It's like Friday nights, they were my nemesis. But I very very rarely think about it in a Friday anymore and if the question arises I have a natural answer. It's more sort of...i don't know...wistful, maybe? But, no great desire to do it now.

It feels like I've just let go of that now. I've pretty much let go of shame and regret although I have a flash of embarrassment now and again. I also try not to demonise it or I would dislike myself. I kind of figure it was something I used to do, it's part of my past. There were a lot of fun times, but also many many shit times and it no longer serves me. That's it. Seems remarkably simple in my brain now.

Good morning all.
Had too much grub and had to go to bed without even a Gordon's af!

Went out yesterday and was surprised when one of my driest friends wanted a drink. I had a tonic. Nice shopping though and off down to the coast for a few days next week. Husband, daughter and friend. All non drinkers.

Off to buy more fruit.

beaches&icecream on my no sugar quest I have found pure fruit juice with sparkling water my go to. I've only been having apple and mango so far because I like it but I imagine I'll get tired of it at some point so will try other ones. I'm allergic to oranges so that's out. I've been having it in larger glasses but when my daughter has a nosecco in a champagne fkute yesterday (she doesn't drink) I thought it would work well in a flute too, maybe more diluted. We had a conversation a few threads ago about reclaiming the wine glass. I realised that a lot of the time it's the glass I like drinking out of. I think of my "wine" glasses now as sparkling water glasses with my meal. I don't have the association any more.

Although, dh did buy red grape juice recently and put some in a red wine glass for me. It was weird, it felt a little triggering, a little repulsive and definitely a really really crap version of red wine. It made me realise that I'm glad that there isn't a good version of red wine as I would have had it all this time and not broken the association. Bizarrely red wine does not now appeal. It looks gloopy and headache inducing. Whereas my sparkling water is fresh and clear and refreshing. It quenches my thirst.
Day 3 of no added sugar and I already feel better again. Headache isn't as bad as it was. And I just feel brighter. It was making me feel so crap.

Morning all. 50 days AF now.

Been especially hard for the last week as my mum sadly passed away. Stress was one of my major 'i need a drink' things

Having said that it has been so much easier starting to deal with practical things hangover free!!! Longer days and mind in tip top condition.

On another note, have lost 5kgs since i quit, well needed.

I am so sorry to hear about your mum @BraveFaceScaredInside

Losing my mum (a while ago now but very suddenly) was the biggest catalyst for my drinking. I went from "I need to keep an eye on this" to "problematic" very quickly.

I commend you for not turning to alcohol and I am sending you lots of strength and best wishes at this, most awful, time.

bravefaceacaredinside I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum.

@Bravefacescaredinside

So sorry for your loss.
I was the same as crunchymum. My mother died 2004 and I started drinking with gusto about two months later.

If you do not drink you will be better off to deal with the days and months to come.

Pretty crap re my work life at the moment with a looming court case but I know if i was drinking I would wake up everyday just looking for a suitable time to knock the pain out with booze.
Well done on the weight loss.

Sorry for your loss @BraveFaceScaredInside.