Alcohol Explained. Day one

[onedayiwillflyaway1]

Hello,
I'm a long time lurker and long time drinker. I've had the day off work today and after another boozy night and my anxiety this morning this lead me to have a beer for hair of the dog. I suddenly realised this is heading only one way, so I downloaded Alcohol Explained and spent the afternoon listening to it whilst sipping my last bottle of wine. Even though I know my own journey of how I got here, it was truly an eye opener and is one of those books that once read, denial is now not an option.
I'm now wide awake with one beer left but I've decided that tomorrow is my day one of quitting alcohol altogether. I've tried moderation, occasional abstinence etc but it always sucks me back in and now I know why. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I know I can get through it hopefully now fully armed with the knowledge I've just heard. My plan is to use this thread to track my journey and share my experience. Lastly I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have shared your experience over the years.

Well done!

BraveFaceScaredInside I'm so sorry about your Mum. You are dealing with so much and doing so well giving up the alcohol. We lost my MIL to cancer and it is awful.

Only Day 3 for me. I had a bit of a chat with DH last night and he said he just wants me to be happy so even though he likes a drink sometimes (not to excess) he won't say anything about me not.

I didn't read last night and slept but the dreams are so vivid.

TheOriginalChatelaine One of the positives I've told myself is that I will enjoy food more and I'm also going to cook different recipes. I've been meaning to do this but most weekend I can't be bothered and just order a takeaway.

Another positive is that I can to lifts for my teenager anytime as I think this year they will be going out more.

You are all an inspiration and I hope this thread goes on as it is really helping me. I can't really talk to any of my Friends for one reason or another. It's as if I don't want their opinions either way as they are not in the same place as me. They either don't want to stop or don't drink that much.

Ha, so with you healthynewme well done for reaching day 3. That’s immense, it’s certainly not ‘only’ . It will get easier …you are inspiring me to keep going. Discovered green tea which has that yumyum quality and isn’t sweet.
Ugh, witching hour for me. Where are those damn crisps?!

Cleanbedlinen12 have you got your crisps?

I'm going to get a shower and make the room cosy. Either find something to watch or get my Kindle out. My witching time is 8PM but if I have no wine in I will just get a snack. I'm feeling OK.

TheOriginalChatelaine I've tried a couple of fever tree drinks, on there own with no alcohol of course, and am quite a fan! I've got a few random flavours in the fridge I have in a wine glass. Try to save them for the weekend so they seem like a treat.
I've never had a real sweet tooth but since going AF I have been craving pavlova, bizarre..

onedayiwillflyaway1 Im sorry to hear you have had to cope with terminal cancer in close family members, It's heartbreaking. Thank you once again for starting this thread

HealthyNewMe Thank you, sorry to hear about your MIL
Well done on day 3, as cleanbedlinen12 says its deffo not an only, every day is an achievement. Hubby has never been a drinker, only light once in a blue moon, so I am lucky in that regard.

Just made a lasagna, instead of the usual glass of wine that turns into the bottle by the time its done, I put on alexa loudly and sang along, my poor neighbours!

Hello all, checking in but so tired so won't post much. This thread is so uplifting and encouraging. I hope it keeps going too (says me who is selfishly too tired to post much).

Hope you all have a lovely evening with lots of crisps and yummy alcohol free alternative drinks

Hello checking in to say well done and wish everyone well. I’m sorry to hear about such troubled times. I lost my dad to cancer. Don’t have words, just big hugs to all.

Good morning all. I woke before crack o sparrow this morning, read for about an hour & felt sleepy again so went back to sleep. Probably about 9 hours sleep last night in total & it was dreamless. My quality of sleep is definitely changing & I assume I'm making up a sleep deficit. Having said that I feel quite tired & I am giving into a craving for carbs, bread mainly. It makes me feel lethargic so I will cut it out beginning today. Note to self, a bit of strict menu planning will help with that.
Yes, the Fever Tree tonics are great & it's what I wiill order if I go out. I do have a few at home but haven't yet felt the need to have a special substitute drink. I'm drinking more tea & I genuinely like it. Which brings me to the subject of wine glasses. I have cabinets full of glass wear for every alcoholic drink known to mankind. Last time I gave up drinking it only lasted a month because I was seduced by the sight of the elegant wine glasses 🤥 This time around everything seems different, I feel stronger. It's the first time I've ever read a self help book on alcohol. I arrogantly assumed I knew it all. A little humility is necessary to stop and listen. I'm making a celebration cake for a friend, this involved soaking the fruit in brandy, I found the fumes unpleasant although the cake will be lovely! I just want to say something about terminally ill loved ones. It's an awful thing & certainly it takes its toll but if you can come to terms with it as being a part of life it helps. I hope they are receiving all the practical help & care they are entitled to from the statutory services. I have a bit of experience in this area. My mother died 15 months ago from cancer aged 94. Mum was fortunate to be able to die at home, she was nursed by the Hospice To Home service & District nurses. This allowed her family to attend to the higher needs stuff. I was able to move in with her for the last 2 months. I wouldn't have missed it for the world, it was one of the most profound experiences of my life. All situations are unique & there is the appropriate support & comfort out there even though I know it can take a concerted effort to find it. Bit of a ramble today I know!

Hello everyone,

So glad you are finding it easy TheOriginalChatelaine and BraveFaceScaredInside you keep singing along to Alexa, don't worry about the neighbours.

I've wanted to stop for a while now but couldn't get in the mindset but I think this thread is really really helping. I've told one of my friends that I'm giving up the wine. She was very supportive but she isn't a big drinker. I will have different reactions of other Friends though. One Friend keeps trying to meet up for a wine fueled evening and I know she enjoys our get togethers. I thought about suggesting to drive and we can go out for food instead, then she can have a drink.

TheOriginalChatelaine I misread the whet my appetite thing and thought you wanted non alch drink ideas
The hospice nurses are involved now, she has visits and phone calls, no personal care as yet, I managed that for a short while, but if it becomes a permanent thing at the end will ask for all the help I can.
As awful as the situation is, we have actually had conversations we wouldn't of had, that have been much needed.

HealthyNewMe I have a very small circle of friends and have told most of them. It's weird how reactions from them are all different. And why do I feel as if me not drinking is letting them down?? Whats that about!
I feel like I am losing a 'fun' part of me...

Day 14. Thinking about wine a lot today, probably as its a friday, and even at my 'best' weekends never passed without me having a drink. More so since my children grew up and left home.
I think the idea of drink is what I'm missing more today than the actual drinking itself. Old worn in habits die hard.
Got my grandaughter who's 6 staying tonight, bet she will be pleased nanny and pops will be up with her in the morning and not just pops!!
Time to think of things I can do with her later to take my mind of dreaded drink.

The idea of a drink in itself gives us a hit of dopamine and a feeling of pleasure that can build as the day goes on. It's a bit like looking forward to Christmas. This is one of the reasons it can be so hard to cut back - you're also denying yourself the pleasurable anticipation of drinking, not just the act of drinking itself. But you're right, @BraveFaceScaredInside, it's just another facet of the habit.

Also, knowing that the idea of a drink provides some comfort and that without it you'll feel agitated, I like to ask: what in that agitation about? What in your life is creating it?

This self-awareness on its own is valuable and contributes to rewiring the drinking habit.

That is interesting brightspace.

BraveFaceScaredInside I can't remember the last time I didn't drink at the weekend. Even my Friends who don't drink a lot have a drink then. I'm going to share a pizza with my DS and find a film to watch. Tomorrow will be easier as I'm driving.

Hello everyone, hope you have had a good day.

Really agree @BraveFaceScaredInside that I feel like I am letting some people down by not drinking, which is crazy really. I keep trying to justify it, or pretend it is just for a bit so they will relax and leave me alone.

Interesting @brightspice you are right, just the thought of opening the wine made me happy. Friday nights I was allowed to so looked forward to it, part of the experience!

Coming up to 4 weeks tomorrow, so pleased

Well done Borrowbox & everyone as we take one more step & day along the road. I have since 15th February AF. I have yet to experience most of the triggers associated with different situations. Tonight we have an evening out where people will be drinking. I'm going to be fine with that. The not so easy situation & the one I still feel a physical response to is family get togethers. I will encounter other firsts. Previously I would always pre load with alcohol before going out to a social situation so refraing from that is a big change. I'm committing myself to this new, increasingly shiny new AF life although it's scary. I'm holding onto all the memories of how awful alcohol made me feel. I am Into the second book with lots of uplifting reinforcement. Lots of genuine, lasting benefits to come Vs the temporary buzz of a drink that has to be repaid & the damage repaired. I've been abusing alcohol for 40 years but that is behind me. Eyes wide open now. Have a good weekend everyone.

Morning all, and you are right original the AF life is shiny. I hope you have a lovely evening. I agree about different triggers. I went out to a pub last weekend for a Sunday lunch, other people drinking, and it wasn't a problem at all. An evening in a pub is going to be totally different, but haven't had that yet. I think I will be ok. My potential problems are going to come once I hit various milestones and decide I am able to moderate. Need to keep in mind that it never worked before, so it won't this time.

Have a lovely Sober Saturday everyone!

Borrowbox

"My potential problems are going to come once I hit various milestones and decide I am able to moderate. Need to keep in mind that it never worked before, so it won't this time.'

Exactly that...spot on!

Hi everyone. I have ordered the book and read the while thread. As a long time drinker (mid fifties now) it all sounded familiar.

Although I regularly go 4/6/8 weeks without drinking, somehow I then convince myself I can moderate. I can't. I am immediately swept back into drinking nightly - wine and vodka. I accompany the alcohol with huge amounts of snacking and am now about 2 stone overweight.

I hate myself. My body disgusts me. I think maybe I try to quit too many things at once though as I see the booze and the food as so wrapped up in each other. Maybe I need to quit the booze and THEN tackle my weight issues?

I have a close group of friends who are all professional drinkers. I suspect that if I say I am quitting, they will make it all like I am "the one with the problem." As though their drinking is all fine and dandy but I am defective. Does this make sense to anyone?

I think I will say I am giving up alcohol for Lent, and this period will include two big get togethers where we/I would usually get bladdered. Then, hopefully once that period is over, I can just say I feel much better health wise and am continuing with it.

Anyway, well done to all of you - doing incredibly well.

2022success I would work on the drink first for sure.

Witching hour for me right now, so poured a chilled glass of bitter lemon, first time I have did this all week, and as it's a saturday seeing if I can confuse my brain haha!
Going to have a long bath in a bit and make a start on Alcohol Explained book, both the first and the second have arrived and tonight is the perfect night for me.

How are you all coping with the weekend?

Hi All, a fairly flat evening here. Not tempted to drink, but when feeling like this is the past I know a glass of wine would have lifted me. I know it isn't the solution but am missing having a practical thing to do.

Welcome @2022success I agree with Braveface that you should tackle the alcohol first. I had major sugar cravings initially but didn't put any weight on as I had cut so many alcohol calories. It is calming down now and I am seeing results with weight loss too. I also like my body again, I am proud of it. I like to think that I am working with it now.

It is hard when friends are invested in you drinking. I think lent is a great plan, nice and ready made excuse. I have been using health as an excuse so far. Crazy that we have to justify it though!

Your evening sounds really lovely @BraveFaceScaredInside I was going to have a bath but was too lazy even for that. I skipped it and went straight to pjs. I did take time cleansing my face though. Really enjoying taking care of myself. My skin is completely different after just 4 weeks.

Borrowbox I am lucky, hubby ran my bath for me if I had to run my own I probably wouldn't of bothered! Read up to chapter 9.

Taking time on cleansing your face is just as good, a little treat, anything that feels special is a win.

Welcome @2022success, lent is definitely and good reason to give you some breathing space. I found that a few of my friends were uncomfortable with their own drinking and defensive about it. I was upsetting the status quo however my health is my priority. Having said that my new found haribo is getting out of hand.
@bravefacescaredinside I'm just running myself a bath now with some epsom salts and lavender might even do a face mask.
Been trying to stick to a good bed time routine and combat my insomnia.
I watched a storyville documentary on iplayer last night about a young woman who was on x factor who suffered with alcohol use disorder she interviewed other women who had been affected is was very interesting.
I've also been limiting my internet use as doom scrolling went hand in hand with my wine consumption. It really has made a difference to my mood.

I just typed a fairly lengthy post & it didn't send! I'm trying not to swear lol. I will try again later.