Alcohol Explained. Day one

[onedayiwillflyaway1]

Hello,
I'm a long time lurker and long time drinker. I've had the day off work today and after another boozy night and my anxiety this morning this lead me to have a beer for hair of the dog. I suddenly realised this is heading only one way, so I downloaded Alcohol Explained and spent the afternoon listening to it whilst sipping my last bottle of wine. Even though I know my own journey of how I got here, it was truly an eye opener and is one of those books that once read, denial is now not an option.
I'm now wide awake with one beer left but I've decided that tomorrow is my day one of quitting alcohol altogether. I've tried moderation, occasional abstinence etc but it always sucks me back in and now I know why. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I know I can get through it hopefully now fully armed with the knowledge I've just heard. My plan is to use this thread to track my journey and share my experience. Lastly I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have shared your experience over the years.

Morning, and Hi @SummerScoop you pretty much summed up my old routine, except I ended up drinking a lot more than you are. Have you listened to the alcohol explained audio book? This really helped me change how I viewed alcohol.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Reading for inspo! Day 3 yet again. Yup, I’m exactly the same, summerscoop But resisting so far! Cooked some horrible looking stew. I am so over cooking! It was only bearable due to vast quantities of vinegary plonk that took me back to my yuppy days. Now it’s what odd tub of something I made years ago that I can I drag out of the freezer.
a neighbour that definitely doesn’t approve of drinking popped round after I’d guzzled booze the other day. I am holding on to that feeling of mortification and embarrassment, which is how I quit college smoking.I don’t see myself as a drinker, ( hmmm! Denial!) certainly don’t want to be seen as one.
recommend lidl berry tea, not sweet, but comforting and has a sort of’layered’ flavour.
hope you are all doing better than me! But I WILL crack it! Began clearing out feel bad-clothes and tat-I-may-do-up-one-day. ( haven’t for 11 years! ) Which I think will help with mind set. Good luck all, thanks for putting up with my ramblings.

Hello @Cleanbedlinen12 ..and everyone! I've done sht!!! Even had a drink tonight! It's like I just can't stop..or am I just not putting enough effort into it? Cos when I tried I did it!! I've not been 'trying' recently..just been annoyed!! I don't know how many of yous read my first post..I generally only drink on a tues, weds & Thursday n that cos my hubby is out! I get annoyed alot of the time that all the housework falls on me so the nights I should be spending with my son..I'm not! I'm just doing housework! We both said about 2 months ago that we would both change..I would stop drinking as much if he actually did some housework..it worked for like 2 weeks..then it's went back to how it was..he says if I'm not gonna change then why should he? (He's a fab hubby btw..we work together n he's amazing) he takes the kids to school everyday and does anything I ask him to do..normally) but the generally housework he is pretty much like..cba!!
Last night should've been the the last! But I've drunk again the night!! I actually took my DS (aged 5) out on a bus after 10pm to just get to my dads house cos hubby started a argument and cos I had had a drink..it just went mad!! So I took my DS out on a bus late on just for me to get to where I wanted to be...whilst completely pissed!! I'm honestly hoping I looked better than I felt! All that to just go home with DH Anyways n my poor little man to say this morning 'well I'm tired cos I was up all night' feel like a right bith...
I know in my head what I need to change...but I ain't doing it!! Ggrrr xx

So I'm now in bed..trying to get DS asleep..hoping the hubby doesn't come up n realise how much I've drunk! I've got crisps n coffee but I already know that he's gonna know xx

So I'm literally to the point the night where I'm starving but if I go downstairs then DH will know I've drunk or do I just stay in bed..starving
..so he doesn't know?? X

Oh gosh, ladywhobakes I hear you. Have done similar, suspect we all have. Maybe eat the crisps, drink the coffee and a gallon of water and try and sleep? Trying to discuss anything is not the best idea atm, so maybe it’s best to keep clear? Maybe next day you come clean and ask for support and explain why, again? Maybe it’s worth getting a cleaner for a while. I know blokes seem to have NO IDEA how much is actually involved in housework. Good luck tonight.
for what it’s worth, I just did something daft and left a delivery in the rain, we’d had a nice evening with the kids, but he got cross, fair enough, but doesn’t let it lie, goes on and on asking why I did that? Do I not care? Do I not care about money? On and on. I say, ssh! Kids don’t need to hear you yelling at me like that, but he doesn’t drop it. Now I’m looking longingly at a bottle. Good job it’s bed time!
just re read your post, and him saying ‘ you’re not going to change why should he’ sounds like he’s passing the buck and blaming you cos it suits him.
fellas!

Checking in nearly at the end of day 4. I've been drinking the twinings sleep tea which is quite nice. I know the weekend will be tougher than week days. @theladywhobakes I hope you have managed to eat something! Lots of water too. I will take a look at the alcohol explained book. Hope everyones doing well tonight!

Well done for reaching day four @SummerScoop@SummerScoop

For some reason my phone likes to post prematurely as I tag people! So I will try again. @theladywhobakes hope you got your boy settled and have had some food. I'll be brutally honest you may want to think about why you needed to go to your dad's at 10pm. I'm not being judging I've done lots of things in the heat of the moment.
I've had a good day my son said he would ring but didn't I'm trying to give him some space.

Hi everyone...I'm good..I had tea last night..I literally told him I had had a drink and if he wasn't happy then to leave! He did leave but I ate so bonus! He did come back and we are ok atm....but loads between need sorted I think..defo the leaving everything to me..it's a joke as he goes out on a Tuesday and a Thursday so I should be spending that time
With my little man but I'm not...I'm doing all the housework that isn't being done...and that's not fair at all xx
I don't know why I took my little man out on a bus so late..guess the drunk part of me said it was a good idea and I needed to be away from
My DH..drunken ppls heads always seem good at the time xx

Has anyone been to AA on here?

@onedayiwillflyaway1 hope ya son has rung you xx

@theladywhobakes glad to hear you managed to have some tea.
Yes it sounds like you're frustrated with the split of housework responsibilities. When my DC were young their dad worked away all week and would spend the weekend in the pub chilling out. So I can understand your frustration.

I've never been to AA is this something you are considering? I've heard mixed feelings about it but I know they do online meetings so it maybe worth trying.

I've changed jobs and it has made a huge difference to my MH the atmosphere is so relaxed a complete change to my last role. I know longer feel the need to drink to numb the pain of being bullied nearly everyday.
My son hasn't rang yet but he's back at work and text me so it's a relief that he's feeling a bit better.

I have been to aa it wasn't for me. However I know loads of people find it helpful. I joined various groups online, on here and just continued with sober books.

Cleanbedlinen sounds tough for you at the moment, the thing that finally worked for me, was thinking of my DC, and that they deserved so much better than a drunk for a mum. Don't get me wrong, it has been really hard, I have my favourite wine here at the moment, it is a gift for my mum, I was so tempted today, I have had a horrible week. I pictured my DC and just could not do it.

I am day 150 today, most days are ok it's just the odd one but it passes eventually.

Hi all. Glad you feel better ladywhobakes and Great news that your son texted oneday well done summerscoop actual day 4 here too! Am making tea super early and easy which does seem to help. I didn’t succumb yesterday which is my immediate reaction to any kind of stress.
well done everyone!

Just saw your post rupertpenneysmistress it’s rung true! Hank you, I was stuck, getting miserable and it suddenly dawned on me that I look tatty and don’t have the energy to make the house nice or hang out with mates. Not good.
So very well done for resisting . It’s probably not as nice as you remember! And certainly worth doing for your dcs. And for you, it would be a shame to go through all that again. Day 150, wow. High five!
as for AA I did one online a while back, it’s ok, quite nice really to share stories in a caring group. but ..I don’t want to label myself if that makes sense. This way I’m a lady tweaking my lifestyle. That way I’m a declared alcoholic and I’m afraid I’ll try and fit the description. Maybe it’s best to find a really good reason, like rupert doing it for the kids.
sorry, I do ramble. Starved of people!

@Rupertpenrysmistress 150 that's brilliant!!
@Cleanbedlinen12 everyday you don't drink is a victory. I agree changing meal times has helped me along with tubs of ice-cream.

Hello end of day 5 here. Tomorrow will be a real test end of the week and I'm already talking myself into having just one.. its the weekend 🙄
@Cleanbedlinen12 I feel the same no energy to spend with friends and even days out over the weekend seemed a massive effort!
I'm glad your son is feeling better @onedayiwillflyaway1

Thought I'd pop in and say hello again. I decided to quit for good as I can't moderate. Well, I can for a while then it all goes to shit and then I'm back to drinking every night.

I've stopped for about 6 1/2 weeks now. It was easy because I wasn't feeling well. Now I feel better and I'm convincing myself I can actually moderate. I've spend the last 25 years demonstrating that I can't!
I've been keeping busy but all my "keeping busy" things are getting boring and not filling the gap. I don't want to drink. I'm scared to now because I know where it leads and it's not pretty. Killing myself with alcohol is not pretty.
I'm hoping posting on here again will give me a wee kick up the bum and give me a bit of inspiration.
One day at a time and all that xx

Hi jesus that’s so well done! 6 1/2 weeks is amazing, you do need to keep going or it will all be hard again. I know! Like an idiot I get to Friday and the wine witch starts on. I drank fri sat sun and I’m so bored with myself. How did you get on summerscoop?
I’ve been hiding as I am all full of good intentions and then I blow it. Again. Like you I don’t want to moderate I want to stop. I want to be fit and fun and proud, not bloated, sleepless and hiding. I also don’t want these thoughts in my head so I need to learn self care. Yes to changing meal times, and ice cream sounds good oneday! Yesterday I realised the really strong craving is only for an hour or so when I am hungry and tired, and have run out of crisps! So that’s doable right? Right? I reckon it all stems back to the 70s when my parents thought a bottle of black tower was the height of. I learnt to draw curly letters off the Gordon’s bottle. No hope! 😂😂😂good luck all

Keep trying @Cleanbedlinen12 each day, weekend sober is a bonus. I've just discovered ready made mocktails in the fridge section at Aldi they are very nice I add a bit of soda water as they are very sweet.

Hi y’all! How is everyone doing? I’m posting because first sober Friday And Saturday in for ever!

@cleanbedlinen amazing well done. All good here. I've been busy with work and jobs around the home these are keeping me suitably distracted.

Thanks oneday I didn’t know you were still there, missed you guys! Stopped posting cos it would be about yet another day 3 mistake. Fingers crossed this time.
how are you and son doing? Hope you are doing ok. 💐

We are doing really well thank you. Its been a rough emotional time lots of heart wrenching but we've managed to have some really good conversations and he's now receiving counselling through work.
I understand you not posting I'm the same I've come to realise that there is only so much outside support can do the rest comes from within. I am so pleased for you having a dry Fri and Saturday is a great achievement and the reward of a Sunday feeling fresh and hangover free.